Kindling
by Wildwood Rose
Summary: Part I: Emily the known but unplanned daughter of Mulder and Scully. How the partners quest for the truth, turned to a quest for happiness. Part II: The loss and imminent deterioration of life is not only subdued to the partners' daughter. Created hopes, seem to evidently result dashed. Follows the series from season 1 - 9.
1. PART I: Kindling

**KINDLING**

**PART I: KINDLING**

**_I don't own anything, I'm a borrower._**

**_Ok so when watching 'Emily' for like the I don't know how many time. Mulder with the vaccine in his hand, I thought, Mulder would not just let this kid die, especially if it is Scully's kid. And then came up with the idea that maybe it would be both of theirs kid. So, I guess what I am trying to do is fill in the blanks between episodes and Sculder moments, to give reasons why Scully and Mulder have this co-dependent relationship; why they love each other but can't really be together; and, how their quest for truth changes to a quest for happiness._**

**_WARNING: First fan fic, please review, they make my day, and this is going to be a long one :)_**

**CHAPTER 1: Beyond the Sea  
Spoilers: Beyond the sea**

**Part I**  
**Mulder's Apartment  
January 1994  
Day 1, 23:24**

His cell phone's shrill ringing could barely be heard through the loud moans of sexual pleasure that were being emitted from the TV. Although busy, his hand moved to answer it instantly out of reflex.

"Mulder, it's Scully" she announces as soon as she hears the click of the 'talk' button. Her voice is urgent, yet withdrawn.

"Scully" both happy and surprised by her phone call. "What are you doing up so late...wait, wait a second", turning off the TV. "I was just thinking about you" he smirks. "…What, how was your meal with your parents?"

"Mulder, my fathers dead", she states very matter-of-factly. Her voice not giving her feelings of shock; confusion; the need for someone to pinch her, to let her know whether this unexpected nightmare, that the devil has seemed to just randomly pick out of a hat is really true.

"What?" he asks in disbelief.  
It had only been earlier this evening, while they were closing down the office for the weekend, had she mentioned she was having her parents over for dinner. She was having difficulty deciding what to cook for them, and had asked his opinion; Beef Bourguignon or Chicken Parmesan? He had said the beef; and smiled warmly as she spoke animatedly about her father for the next ten minutes; a girly grin shining across her face, as a little girl sung praises about her daddy.

"My mother just called", he can hear her composure start to fall as her voice start to wobble across the line. "…They were… on their way back… from mine after dinner… and he; …and he had a...had a...had a stroke, and died, instantly".

For a few seconds, the line between the buzzed in their disbelieved silence.

"Well… shit Scully, I don't know what to say…". Picking himself up into a seating position on his couch, he rested his head in his spare hand, while it racked for something appropriate - in the least bit comforting to say. But he really was at a loss for words; for all his estrangedness towards his own father, he in that moment couldn't imagine life without him not being there, waiting for him.  
All he could think of to say, was the most two unoriginal words to say. "I'm sorry Scully", words that really didn't convey how genuinely 'sorry' he was for her. "I'm...", he pictured her vivacious personality that he liked so much about her start to melt; frightened ashen, frightened; her eyes cloudy and watery ...

"Mulder" the shrillness of her voice interrupted his image process, and he snapped out of it. "You don't have to say anything, just please come over here. I need...", her voice started to wobble again. " -My mother is at the hospital, but I can't, I can't go", she was loosing the fight over her emotions. Her next words coming out in a sort of squawk. "I'm having a hard time processing this… and I don't want to be by myself".

Mulder let his line go quiet for a few seconds, her muffled sniffles echoing in his ear. He nibbled the inside of his mouth, contemplating her request. But instantly snapped out of it, _she is my work partner, and she needs him_.

"Ok, I'll be right over".

**PART II**  
**Scully's Apartment**  
**Day 2, 12:03**

The room was relatively dark, just the dim light emitted by the living room lamp, and the odd momentarily bright flash from the muted TV. Scully was in a trance. Sat uncomfortably upright on her love seat sofa, staring at the armchair that her father had occupied, or at least she thought he had occupied. _But that is impossible, science fiction_.

The knock on the door awakes her from her trance. Walking over, she merely glances into the key hole, knowing that it is Mulder.

"Hi" they both say simultaneously; her hand rests limply on the fully opened front door knob, a metre from Mulder and her apartment entrance. She stands defeated.

_She seems smaller_, Mulder thinks. Taking in her form in comparison to the room, but also her oversized high waist pants and shoulder pad shirt that swamps her small frame. She is in the same clothes she left work in, but for some reason they don't fit her anymore. Her face shows no sign of tears, but after four months working at her side, he hadn't expected them. Her eyes however are wide with shock.

Scully just continues to stare back at him; the door handle still limp in her hand; the trance starting to reclaim her.

Remembering what he had coached himself in the taxi journey over; Mulder moves forward to enclose his partner's petite frame.

Its awkward at first, rigid, as it's a type of affection they are not used to, that they don't really do; maybe a matter of couldn't. As both sex FBI partners, this type of behaviour, at this hour, is definitely frowned upon. A similar event springs in both the partners mind; her from the embarrassment, and him because it was a happy memory he re-played in his mind often. The evening of their first case together, she had come to him dressed only in her cotton underwear and towled dressing gown; ran to seek comfort in his arms; lounged in his motel bed - he was on the floor. But still, he would never forget the image of her, hair long and untamed, cuddled up beneath the covers, in her crimson red dressing gown; the night light that shone through the motel room window flatteringly shading her beautiful form. She had been scared then, she is haunted by a different type of scare now. A feeling of abandonment, un protection, uncertainty over who she is. Certainly, they wouldn't be entwined so if it wasn't for this situation.

After a few seconds, she silently accepts his embrace, and eases into the structure of his body, resting her ear on his chest. His emitted warmth and kindness travels from her ear, through her entire body, and despite everything, a small smile to plays on her lips. His chin nestles on her warm head. They stand in this silence for a minute. Slowly he inches his lips lower to plant a secure kiss on her head.

And his kiss is how he makes her feel, safe and secure.  
She moves, to breathe him in. And his scent travels from her nose, through her entire body, and despite everything, he becomes the focus of her body and mind. Her want. And it's as if she has left her own body when she starts to peck at his chest through the material of his T, planting several soft slow kisses at first, and then getting harder as her lips move to entice his neck.

Mulder groans in approval, and his hands make a ring around her waist, pulling their forms closer together.

She goes on her tip toes for better access to him, massaging her tongue against neck. She feels his cock twitch against her upper thigh; and bites into his neck in approval, eliciting a gruff sort of animal noise from him. But he needs assurance of what they are doing. Pushing her a little bit a way from him, he gazes down at her, and picks up her chin with his index finger, and looks longingly into her dark hungry shark like eyes. Her mouth twitches into a smirk, as she grinds herself against him, teasing him. Feeling his hunger for her too.

They smile, in mutual acceptance over where this is heading.

Not breaking eye contact, Mulder lifts Scully from her waist, hovering her above him momentarily while he takes in her wildness. Her hair ruffled; her eye colour non-existent; her nostrils flared; her teeth biting hard against her lips, as if she is trying to contain herself. He can see the rim of her red lace bra, the exposed skin of her upper chest in his peripheral, and slowly brings her down so he can nibble his way up to lightly kiss her lips, before planting her on his hips.

She wraps her legs round him, tightly, securing her position. Her eyes telling him, _this is what I want, you, us._

He doesn't need anymore confirmation, and manoeuvres them around, closing the front door, and roughly pushing Scully against it. A moan escapes from her throat at the feel of his weight being slammed into hers, and buckles her pelvis into him, he reciprocates; and they continuing playing this game until they are nose to nose.

Scully's swallows hard.

Mulder rims her upper lip with his tongue. Moving a hand from her waist, he removes stray strands of hair from her face, before leaning his lips in hard against hers.

She can feel herself physically melting, and deepens their kiss, securing his head with her hands.

The slosh of tongues, smacking of lips, and the occasional nip of teeth.

Mulder breaks, licking his and then Scully's swollen and rouged lips to gain some moisture back before going in again, this time with more aggressiveness.

But she wants more, removing her hands from behind his head, they mould their way down the sides of his torso, to pull his T from the confines of his jeans.

He moves back a little to give her easier access, and one of his hands moves to roughly clamp her left nipple between his forefinger and thumb. She groans, enjoying it, and makes faster work of her own hands.

She feels skin, his toned torso; and her stomach contracts, her insides flush, and groans loudly into their kiss in response. This is what she wants, and lets her hands explore and grope the rest of his torso and chest before yanking the T off his head.

Mulder leans in again for another kiss, and Scully takes the opportunity for her hands to roam his bare back. Her fingernails scratch slightly against the skin, outlining his muscles. He groans, he likes it, and wants to devour more of her.

...

It was her second bite to his neck, that bought Mulder out of their frenzy.  
He abruptly pulls his mouth away from suckling her breast. Scully, currently suspended with her breasts at Mulder eye level; he brings her back down to rest on his hips, before planting her back on the floor.

He's stares intently at her.

"What!?" she snaps, highly pissed of being brought down from her aroused state, aching to be taken back. She attempts to straighten her bra cup and shirt back in place, as the air combined with his saliva, chills her naked breast.

Mulder hides his face with his hand before cupping her chin it. She turns her face out of his grip.  
"I know that you are upset", he says carefully, "and that you need comfort. And I more than anything in this world WANT to be that person, but you don't want to get close to me. Everything I touch…ever…well everyone I get close to, I loose. I don't want to you loose you"

**Do you want me to continue? R&R please :)**


	2. Out Jumping the Shaq

**CHAPTER 2: Out Jumping the Shaq  
Spoilers: Beyond the Sea**

**PART I**

**Scully's Apartment  
January 1994  
Day 2, 12:17**

The heat already created by the two bodies is intense, and clothes are still on. Their faces showing slight outbreaks of sweat; Mulder's torso glistens slightly in the lamp light.

"Mulder", Scully sighs, "that's not true. Besides", she says scarping her finger nails across his torso.

_That feels fucking good_, he eyes fly shut, relishing in her touch.

"…the way I see it, if you don't touch me, you will definitely loose me" she retracts her hand, a wicked smirk on her face. "The question is, do you want to lose me wondering what it would have been like to have me?"

"Scully" Mulder laughs nervously, "you're not making this very fair"

"Well life isn't fair" sombrely, her face falls to the ground, "…you of all people should know that", she whispers. Memories of her father start to flood her mind.  
Fighting back tears, "I need to feel wanted".

"Scully", he soothes gently, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder; he knows its a pitiful gesture of comfort considering where they were a couple of minutes ago. "In the last 15 minutes our partnership just out jumped the Shaq. Am I going to have a size 5 heel imprint on my head when you wake up the next day and decide that I have taken advantage of you?" he raises his hands up in his exasperation.

Eyes still on the ground. "Mulder, you have tasted my breath" she says quietly, "there is not a drop of liquor in me. And I know there is not a drop of liquor in you either. I know what I am doing, you know what you're doing. We're both adults...", she can feel her cheeks start to colour in her embarrassment.

"I don't want it to ruin what we already have. What if this thing escalates and they find out and they use it against me…what if…they hurt you?" His voice is strained, wearing the same hurt boyish expression as he did 18 years ago when his father told him they had given up looking for his sister, he gulps at the memory.

"They?" Scully chuckles hautily, shouldering his hand away. "What if WHO does something to me Mulder…who do you mean, Skinner?" she asks, screwing her face over the absurdity of his excuses- _and they are excuses, pathetic ones_.

"Scully", he says sternly. Although half naked, its hard to take his tone seriously, and a smile twitches across her lips. "You can't stand there and tell me that you and I have not been in near death situations because of our work" Scully's eyes start to glaze over as she listens to the same mantra she hears almost everyday with the X-Files. "We are uncovering high top disclosed truths, purposefully concealed to the American public. If they find out, they might use …"

"Mulder, please", physically and emotionally tired of this conversation, her pride heavily wounded. "If you don't want to have sex with me just say" and makes her way to the kitchen, mumbling something unintelligible under her voice; she pulls out a tub of ice cream from the freezer; and a large soup spoon out of the cutlery draw.

Pulling on his T, Mulder sighs loudly, and traces her steps.

"…I'm sure if Pheobe called you in the middle of the night needing comfort, you wouldn't hesitate…" she grumbles through a mouthful of frozen chocolate chip cows milk.

"Scully stop it". Mulder snatches the spoon and ice cream out of her hand. She frowns, but doesn't dare look into his eyes, to give him the benefit of seeing her hurt from his rejection.

"All I want you to do is think, think of our jobs, our _working_ partnership; think of the fact that you are highly upset because your father just died", he almost shouts; he winces, now convinced that he has done a botch job at grief constellation.

"Mulder" it comes out gruff and weak, and she clears her throat; her eyes back on the floorboards. "I have thought it through. I thought it through in the 30 minutes it took you to get here".

Mulder stares at Scully, her mouthwatering pert breasts not quite disclosed properly by her blouse. She looks distraught, wild, exhausted, _beautiful,_ and his for the taking... "OhwhoamIkidding", Mulder jumbles, scooping her up into a searing kiss. It's forced at first, but slowly their mouths melt into a rhythm, a sloshing and massage of tongues and a inticing friction of hot lips. Scully places both hands behind Mulder's head to deepen their kiss. The knots in her heart and lower stomach, release.

"Which way is your bedroom?" he hums against her lips.

Mulder carefully places her on the bed. He removes her belt first, and the sound of the leather passing through the loop holes goes deliciously straight to her core. He teases her skin with his fingers before he un-tucks her shirt. She raises her back so he can slip it off, he then moves to her pants. They join the shirt on the floor, and so does her pantyhose.

Mulder stops, to allow himself to study her body. _She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen_, he thinks and raises his excited eyes up to hers; a content smile fixed on her face. Mulder chucks off his T, before going to lye down next to Scully.

Mulder kisses her shoulder; she turns her smile towards him.  
"You're beautiful".


	3. Signed, Dana

**CHAPTER 3: Signed, Dana**  
**Spoiler: Beyond the Sea**

**Part I  
****_Later that morning…_****  
Scully's Apartment  
January 1994  
Day 2, 07:17**

Scully woke up with a start and wondered why she felt so hot yet exposed. She frowned at the sight of the suns glare fighting to outshine the barrier of her wooden blinds; she had woken up facing the wrong way. Scully peered down her poorly covered body and caught sight of her dishevelled underwear; _that would be why_. The roughness of Mulder's jeans intertwined against her legs and upper torso next became apparent to her; his arm strewn across her stomach, gripped tightly on to her hip bone; an idle finger from the other ones hooked on to the latch of her bra, making it very awkward to lay on her back, so uncomfortable to her now, she wondered how she ever fell asleep. Flashes from earlier that morning flew across her mind, and she took back that thought.

Crestened in the hollow of her shoulder, she raised her gaze to study his peaceful, relaxed, youthful face. His steady breathing was soothing against her skin, neither too hot nor too cold, and inexplicably brought a feeling of home, only no home she had been to before. She didn't even mind his dribble pooled in her clavicle. But she needed to pee. _I wonder how I can get up without waking him_?

She shifted, slowly and slightly until she was out of his pretzel-like grasp of her; quickly reaching for her dressing gown, knotting it tight in a matter of seconds. She turned slowly around to see if she had woken him. But he was out. She rolled her eyes, at what she wasn't quite sure, or why, maybe the whole situation, and headed to the bathroom.

While in the shower Scully contemplated how they were going to broach this.

Stepping out of the shower she had decided that they would keep it professional for now and then see if anything later escalated. It was Christmas afterall, and there were holidays between now and when they would go back to work. She was sure that would be enough time for them to get over it. _I mean, she rolled her eyes at herself as she started to scrunch dry her hair, it was just sex. Before, rolling her eyes at herself again for that very cliché line._She finished towel drying herself in what had to be a new PB; slipping her dressing gown back on, she forced herself to slow her pace, and made a twitchy stroll back into her room.

Mulder was still out like a light. She decided she would get dressed in the bathroom.

Dressed, Mulder was still out. Deciding that she didn't want to wake him or sit around waiting for him to wake up, she left a note, explaining that she had to go to her mother's – which was true. Leaving it in the kitchen, where she had laid out all he would need to make himself coffee. Then made a quick exit. She had signed the note, Dana.

**Part II  
****_One week later…_****  
Mulder's Apartment  
January 1994  
Day 9, 20:04**

"Mulder its-"

"Dana, Hi", he cuts in.

"Hi"

Silence buzzes over the line.

"…How was your Christmas?" he asks, nervously making conversation.

"It was, you know…" _sad,_ "yours?"

"It was…well I don't really celebrate Christmas so it was just a good TV day". They both chuckled. The line went silent again.

"So Mulder, why I am calling is because it is my father's funeral next week, on Monday actually. So I will have to leave part of the day to-"

"Take the whole day off Dana, the whole week off if you need to. I'll be fine by myself"

_Right_. She wasn't sure if she was all together pleased about that statement.

"Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about-"

"-No" Scully answered all to quickly, a higher than normal pitch. She unintentionally let out a loud breath of air, "so, maybe I will see you next week maybe I wont…and if I don't see you. Don't get into too much trouble; I don't want to have to pick you up from another high security army base again", and his laughter echoed across the line made her blush.

_Were still Mulder and Scully_, he thought. "Goodnight Scully…", he swallowed to take the laughter out of his voice, "and again I'm sorry to hear about your father", sincerely.

"Thank-you. Right. Bye. Mulder", she said her farewell to whatever it was they had briefly entertained almost hesitantly. But then quickly disconnected. _Right, professional it is…definitely for the best.._.

_Professional it is_, he thought, grabbing for a sun flower seed, shell and all. It idly played around in his mouth for the next thirty minutes.


	4. How do you even know- ?

**_Happy Jubilee Weekend!_**

**CHAPTER 4: How do you even know…?  
Spoilers: DarknessFalls**

**PART I  
****_Two days after investigation…_****  
High Containment Facility: Winthrop, Washington  
20:37**

Scully flutters her eyes.

_White light?_

Confused; she closes them again.

Her face felt like it was on fire.

She tries again, fluttering her eyes open long enough to see a shape hovering over her.

She closes them again; the burning pain was transcribing through her body.

She feels a hand on her forehead.

It pressure across one of her eyebrows.

_?_

"Scully….Scully", Mulder hovers over her, being careful not to put too much pressure on her.

"Mulder" Scully clears her throat and forces her eyes open.

"Where am I?"

"What happened to me?"

And then as soon as Mulder comes properly into focus, taking in his red blotted face and the bandage on his head "…to us?"

Scully's eyes widen as her memory slowly plays catch up. "Spenney, they attacked him...and then they came after us, I thought, I thought we were gonners Mulder" she gives him a small smile, becoming shy over his intent stare and smile, boring into her face.

"…Is, is Spenney ok…? What about Moore…? Mulder?" he face still hasn't moved an inch.

"You didn't tell me you were pregnant", his smile halves, but is eyes still look on with the same intent.

Scully draws back.

A slight look of fear crossed her face.

Which eventually, she softens.

"...Yes…" she finally hisses, letting out the breath she was holding "...how did you find out?" she frowns.

"Well you're enormous of course"

Scully's eyes orbit but a smile crossed her face. "I'm just over 3 months, not fat yet...", she sighs forlorn, twitching her lips. She snaps out of it though no sooner as she'd snapped into it, and frown at him again. "How did you find out Mulder?" she demands, pushing herself up, so that her steel eyes pierce directly into his.

"Well…", he says finally, removing his eyes from hers and looking down at his palms. "When I asked the doctor for like the umpteenth time", he chuckles absently before continuing, "whether you would be OK he said, 'yes both will be fine'".

He lets the statement hang in their silence for a few seconds, but not daring to look up.

"…Now while you have been in your coma. I have had two days to think it through, and I think that there is a chance that I am the father…"

He steals a look at her before returning his gaze.

"…Over three months Scully," his face feigns hurt, "you must have known for a while…"

But Scully's nostrils flare over the perceived guilt he is trying to inflict on her, "Mulder, how are you even sure that the baby is yours?" she asks flatly.

Mulder smiles into his palms, and swallows deeply, this time not quite being able to feign his felt emotion_. _

There is a long pause where neither partner talks, or even lets out a breath.

Eventually, Scully decides to fill him in.

"I have only known about the pregnancy for sure for two weeks. After a month, strange; two months, panic; and then after three months, I decided to confirm my fears. And now I don't know what I am going to do about it".

Mulder nodded at his palms. "You would", he swallows, "you would get rid of th-"

"No Mulder I couldn't do that", she says almost soothingly, and it does as Mulder lets out a small sigh of relief. He knows he can't dictate what she does over her body, that the choice has to come from her.

"…But this child is unplanned. It does not fit into my plans at the moment. I always thought that when I did have a child it would be with someone who I loved and was married to…" She stops and lets out a long breath, her eyes winced, lost in some unwanted memory.

Mulder looks up, and from the tears forming in his partners eyes, is certain she is about to cry. Instinctively, he grabs her hand in his and squeezes it. ; a flash memory of her affair with Daniel; her eyes winced and stared down at her palms.

She stares a while at their conjoined hands but doesn't look at him.

"Mulder. I just want to be by myself".

Although he wouldn't say or show it, he is hurt.

He nods, gets up, and after a while, lets go of her hand. Leaving Scully alone in the room, with her thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5: Tooms**

**PART I**

**FBI HQ: The Basement, the evening after Toom's (X-Files S1E21) hearing.**

It is way past the end of the day and Scully is collecting her things, she glances up at the clock, it reads 7pm; _only I and Mulder would still be working at this hour, the rest of society is out having fun. _She slumps her coat over one of her arms and turns to look at Mulder; who is at his desk, engrossed in several files. Scully's temple frowns slightly and gives Mulder a worrying look, she is contemplating something. "Mulder I'm leaving".

"I know he will strike again Scully, I just know it. His exterior may be human but his interior is still animal and he will kill if not because of his animal instincts, because he has to complete his cycle before going into hibernation". Mulder bit his lip and frantically searched through another file. "I just know it…the court was wrong in their decision Scully, especially after what he did to you" he tore his eyes away from the paper work and looked up, before turning his concentration back to the files "…they were wrong".

"I know Mulder"

He started to collect up his things. "I'm going to head down to the PD department where they first arrested him to compile more evidence, and then I am going to stake the son of a bitch out until he slips up". He merely glanced at Scully before grabbing his coat and exiting out their office door.

"Good night then" Scully said to the empty room and went over to turn off the desk light Mulder had left on, breathed a heavy sigh, tuned off the light and shut the door behind her. She thought of the ultrasound photograph in her bag as she walked over to the lift.

**FBI HQ: The Basement, Late afternoon. Scully and Mulder have just handed in their reports to Skinner concerning the closing of the X-File and Tooms's death.**

"The FBI should compensate us for dry cleaning; that alone takes up a good ¼ of our monthly pay" Scully quipped as she went to grab her coat.

Mulder smiled at her comment and leaned back on her chair so that his full attention was on her. He felt good. He was right about the case, the X-Files were for now safe. Tooms was dead and he wasn't able to hurt anyone anymore. "So Scully, what are you up to this evening?"

"Me? Well it is a Friday, I have no reports to write up. I was thinking of having a relaxing date with the TV and a tub of ice-cream. Then, I think I am going to spend the weekend with my mom and my sister. I haven't seen her as much as I would like to, and I have to make a conscious effort now that …" _dads dead. _Scully trailed off, her eyes stung at the remembrance that her father was dead, even though it was over three months ago, she still felt a pang every time she remembered.

Mulder nodded at what she had said. "I only asked about this evening not the whole weekend", he flashed her smile so that she knew it was a joke. His smile faded a bit, _sister? I really don't know anything about this woman_. He leaned back off his chair, placing it on its four legs again. He twisted a pencil in his hand. "Hey, what is your sister called again?"

"Melissa but we call her Missy, why?" She arched an eyebrow slightly.

"Oh its just that you never mentioned you had a sister" he said concentrating on his pencil; _and I told you about my sister straight away_.

"I have two brothers too" she smiled. Noticing his felt betrayal.

"Really" he turned his face to her, his eye brows raised and then went back to concentrating on the pencil. There was silence. He stood up to walk over to her. "Thanks by the way for coming to the hearing on Tooms and backing me up; I mean you didn't really have to. And; I didn't think you would after how our last X-File ended". He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet.

Scully smiled, looking up at his towering figure. "Hey we're partners aren't we?"

"Yes we are" _In more ways than one maybe_. He didn't move his eyes from the interesting spot on his shoes. They waited. "So" Mulder said looking up. "Have you thought more about what you are going to do about this child? I mean because maternity leave has to be organised and a temporary partner assigned. Or a full one" Mulder cleared his throat, "if you decide to become a stay at home mom".

"Yeah right with what money" Scully joked and sobered when he saw he didn't share the humour. She cleared her throat "Look Mulder, the child inside me is yours, I am 100% sure of it… But Mulder, I still don't know what I am going to do yet. I have to think what is in the best interests for me and the child…I mean you don't want a child do you"; she almost snorted the last statement and wished that she hadn't when she saw the look of hurt on his face.

Mulder studied her face for a while, nibbling the inside of his mouth; picked up his jacket and walked out. Scully was left to turn the lights off and lock up - again.

**FBI HQ: Outside the FBI building, about 10 minutes after their previous conversation.  
**

"Its amazing how things change" Mulder stared up at a cocoon in a tree.

"What the caterpillar" she joined.

"No change for us, its coming"

"How do you know?"

_Is she for serious_ "a hunch" Mulder jibbed and stalked off.

Scully lingered her gaze as she realised that he was talking about the child and not their work and hurried off after him.

**FBI HQ: Skinners Office, same time.**

CSM stared out through the blinds, staring intently at Mulder and his partner. He drew in a long drag of his cigarette. _Mulder's partner is pregnant_, he thought. One of his spies had informed him of her doctors appointment. _Is Mulder the father? If so this could cause trouble for him, least of all for his partner; at our benefit. _He dragged in the rest of his cigarette while he contemplated how he was going to play this.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6: Tooms  
****PART II  
****FBI HQ: Gardens in front entrance. Following Sculders' convo at the end of the previous chapter.**

"Mulder, Mulder", Scully caught up with him. "What were you talking about back there, what did you mean. Mulder answer me"

Mulder slowed down and turned to look at Scully, he saw fire and determination in her eyes. "It means that yeah this child is probably not best yet planned. But like it or not, the fact is that this is our child and we are involved now" he was almost growling at her.

Scully's stomach lurched slightly and she lowered her eyes at the sound of Mulder saying 'our'. "Mulder" she said impatiently; "come round to mine about 7 and we will talk about it".

Mulder did a purposeful nod "Thank-you"; he continued to stalk off.

"...And Mulder" she called after him, digging for something in her bag.

Mulder stopped, seeing something in her hand, he turned to walk back to her. It was an ultrasound photograph, his eyes stung, "Thank-you" he mumbled and continued to walk on.

**Georgetown: Scully's Apartment, 19:20pm the same day. **

Mulder had bottle of a beer in one hand and the ultrasound photo in the other. "So tell me what I am looking at Scully".

Scully emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of sunflower seeds to share and a cup of tea for herself. She positioned herself next to Mulder, facing her back to the window. "That's the baby's head, heart beat, two arms and two legs". She smiled as he looked intently at the image.

Mulder turned his head to face her and met her smile, "do you know if it is a boy or a girl yet"

"No they wont be able to tell until the 4 month scan and even then it can some times be wrong or unclear" she sighed, handing him back the photo. She rubbed her hands against the top of her legs as if she was reassuring her self. "So, Mulder. I am sorry about all of this"

Mulder looked at her questionably, photo still in hand.

"About getting pregnant" she picked imaginary fluff from her leggings.

"Hey it takes two to tango" Mulder joked, giving her a smile.

Scully returned a tired smile. "Yeah but I didn't even take the precautions to prevent this" she gestured both her hands to her abdomen. "I mean talk about having the IQ of a bee" Mulder chuckled at her comparison "I am 26 not 16…" looking up at the ceiling "I feel so stupid, you must think I am so stupid".

"A bee?" he chuckled.

"Yes a bee, a bee lives out its days collecting nectar and fertilising flowers, until temptation grabs him by the testicles and he stings someone. Killing the bee instantly and hurting the person it stung, all because he gave into temptation. I am a bee Mulder"

"Scully you are not a bee; and you don't have balls, we can both vouch for that". Mulder touched her shoulder with the tips of his fingers "…and I think you should stop being so hard on yourself" that earned him a small smile "…I think that we have to plan this togeth…"

Mulder's speech was interrupted as he saw a green led light dance across Scully's living room window. Then it went. He walked over to the window. He saw Deep Throat underneath a low lit street light.

"Mulder?"

"Scully I have to go"

"Now?"

"Yes" he said collecting his jacket.

"Well, will you be back?"

"Ergh…I don't know, probably not". He wondered what Deep Throat could possibly want; he was glad that he hadn't taken off his ankle gun. "Listen Scully, I will see you at work on Monday". Mulder closed Scully's apartment front door, stopping before he shut it completely. "I…I'll call you later this evening about…" he trailed off as Scully nodded at him from the couch, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Worry clouded Scullys eyes, she took a deep breath and put her head in her hands. _What the fuck am I going to do?_ That last act by Mulder had only added to her initial worries, not put her at ease. She took her hands out of her head after couple of minutes, drew a deep breath and grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7: Tooms  
PART III**

**Georgetown: Scully's Apartment, 23:50pm the same day.**

Scully woke up with a start, not sure why. It was dark, she was in her own bedroom. Then she heard it again, it was her cell phone. She took it to bed with her because Mulder said that he would call. "Scully" she yawned.

"Scully its Mulder"

"Who else would it be at this hour?"

"I know, I am sorry, its late…" _I had some thinking to do._

It was true, Mulder had a lot on his mind. Following the information that Deep Throat had given him about an army UFO sighting, he told Mulder that he had heard that his partner was pregnant. The colour had drained out of Mulder's face, _how could he possibly know?_ "Trust no one" DT had said, "even the walls have ears". Mulder had spent the last few hours wondering what the hell that meant, how this played into everything, how/whether he was going to tell Scully. "I had a lot on my mind" Mulder finished.

_"_Where did you have to go so quickly?"

"Oh…I forgot that I had a meeting"

"At 7:30pm on a Friday night"

"Yeah…listen Scully"

"Mulder stop. Let me go back to sleep and we'll talk tomorrow"

"…Is everything alright Scully?"

"No Mulder, everything is not alright" it was a cross between a laugh and a cry. "I am pregnant with my work –obsessed irresponsible 'work comes first' bachelor partner; we organise a meeting to decide what we are going to do about the future of 'our' child – and I use your words Mulder. We haven't even talked about it for one second and you up and leave. Leaving me to ask myself again, what the fuck I have gotten myself into, this child into, and how I am going to get us out of it. And what is worse is that I only have myself to blame". Scully puffed, fully awake now.

Mulder let the line go quiet. Now was not the right time to tell her about Deep Throat.

"Mulder say something" Scully demanded.

"I'm going to let you get some sleep and we will talk about it later"

"Er errr, wrong answer Mulder. I'm wide awake now"

"Well what the fuck do you want me to say Scully, you just dragged my name through shit"

"I didn't drag it through anything Mulder. I'm stating facts"

"Well you know you are not so great yourself either Scul-lee. You're a ladder climbing, career obsessed woman. A mole with your reports, trying to debunk all my hard work".

_My? I thought it was 'our'._

"...And what do you do? You go get yourself knocked up" Scully's mind flipped with rage at this comment. "Then you decide not to tell the guy, and he has to hear it from a complete stranger that you are over three months pregnant with his child. Just over a week after me finding out, you expect me to have all answers and to change my lifestyle that has suited me fine, long before you came into the picture. You know my life has flipped upside down too Scully"

"I know Mulder, that was why I hadn't told you" she was seething

"Oh well that's real mature Dana, and when were you going to tell me? When you were 8 months pregnant and could no longer get through the door, or were you just never going to tell me?"

"Mulder I have to go"

"Real mature, can't take it when it's the other way round. You know what Scully, you are 16"

"I have to go because I need to throw up"

"Oh" Mulders voice toned down slightly "well call me back when you're ...finished. Your right we need to clear this matter up and know where we both stand. Oh, and Scully" he caught her before she disconnected, "have you told anyone else about the pregnancy"

"No Mulder, only you. I haven't even told my family. Now let me throw up".

…

"Mulder?"

"Scully, look I am sorry about what I said. Something that I was told today has just got me all riled up…and I am bit scared about this baby"

"I am too" she reinstated.

"I think what is best, is for us not to say that this baby is mine. Say that it was a previous boyfriend or something…what was the name of the guy, Ethan was it? And then I think you should seriously think about your future with the X-Files or with the FBI entirely. Maybe go back into medicine when you stomach starts to show"

"…You want me to me leave Mulder?" _Where is this coming from? What is he talking about? Is he ashamed at me and the baby? _

"No Scully, I definitely do not want you to leave but I think it is best for your child".

_No longer 'our',_ Scully's stomach felt hollow.

"...With the X-Files, you are in life threatening situations everyday. I mean you got shot just over two months ago, if it wasn't for the vest…"

"I'll take that under advisement". Scully said weakly, fighting back tears. "But you know Mulder, not everything is about you". _I left a promising career in medicine and, I also want to succeed._ "I have to go now".

"Wait Scully… I will help you financially. I mean you can become a stay at home mom if you want. I will make sure you and the child live comfortably"

"Fine". She couldn't manage anything else, she was so angry, upset, disappointed. "See you at work on Monday". Scully threw the phone on to the floor and comforted herself with her duvet, _my knight in fucking armour_.

**Mulder's Apartment**

Mulder heard the dial tone for a while. He knew it probably wasn't what Scully wanted to hear but it had to be like that until he figured out what the fuck he was going to do about it. _Why is Scully's pregnancy top news?_ Mulder knew he would get no sleep tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8: Born Again (S1E22) – Little girl a reincarnation of a murder victim. ****Bishop Household, Buffalo, NY. **

Mulder arrived at the house to make one last attempt at convincing the Bishops to allow their daughter to go under regression hypnosis, _what this little girl has experienced is too incredible to let go without a fight_, Mulder thought. Scully had refused to go with him, and stated her displeasure over Mulder pushing this on a traumatised little girl, and for him to put himself in the parents' shoes. He said that he wished that he was in their position, as he would allow it without hesitation. Scully, raising her right eyebrow to all new heights, had said that she would meet him at the airport.

Mulder had been watching the little girl take her first swimming lesson. If Scully were there she would have seen a child being able to recapture her childhood. With the Bishops refusing regression once again, Mulder saw a greatly lost opportunity, all the answers that she held.

'...she claims no memory…and both her mother and her doctor have refused my second request of past life regression. End of field journal April 19, 1994. Agents on record, Fox Mudler and Dana Scully. Status: Unexplained.'

**Mulder's Apartment: Evening following the closing of the X-File investigation.**

The desk lamp dimly lit the apartment. Mulder lay full length on the sofa, snacking on the pile of sunflower seeds that were heaped on his stomach. He couldn't help thinking about his unborn child during the investigation, and realised that it would be so now for every case that involved a child.

Mulder picked out a stray seed that had fallen down his shirt. He chuckled as he recalled his and Scully's disagreeing theories over their most recent case, and the banter that it had caused. He knew why they had argued so much, because they were relaying it as if Michelle Bishop was their own child. Like Michelle's mum, Scully did not agree with Mulder's tactic of regression hypnosis.  
"...What exactly did you hope to find?" she had said "… what I saw was some traumatised little girl…"

"...The truth"' he had simply answered.

He could not fathom Scully's reluctance to persuade the mother to go further, he was sure Mrs Bishop would have agreed if Scully had pushed her. It had cost them the truth, he had made Scully aware of that when they got back to his office, and he would mention it in the report. She had merely rolled her eyes at him and stalked out the office, too tired to argue.

_What if our son ever had to go into regression hypnosis_? Mulder knew it was too early to find out the sex of the child; but, he did not want to call the baby 'it', and decided on a 'he' not only because he hoped it was a boy but maybe because it provided Mulder with _a chance to re-correct what my father had done wrong.._.? Although really, a healthy boy or girl would make him happy.

Mulder reached for another sunflower seed. He wondered whether his child would inherit Scully's scientific and logical perception on life or his 'slightly fantastic' - _Scully's words_ - way of thinking. _Would my child see my endeavour as a worthwhile quest or would he see me as a loser that chased little green men, no matter how many times I told him they were grey_….he hoped that the child would have his logic.

Wearing a huge grin, Mulder reached for two more sunflower seeds and sobered quickly while crunching the second one. He recalled his and Scully's last baby conversation. He had basically told her that he didn't want anything to do with her or the child, emotionally or physically; or even professionally. Mulder wondered whether Scully would stay in DC; whether the child would grow up knowing who he was. _If Scully moved away, how would I bond with my child? Even if she didn't move, how would my child and I bond…would I become my father? A figure, not a father; always away at business and at work…_

He reached for a small handful of sunflowers. _She is still talking to me at least_. _It would be nice to have someone who believed in me more though. _Mulder frowned, Scully hadn't mentioned anything about their previous baby conversation during the whole of the investigation. Their flight and drive to the crime scene was in silence. Neither of them talking, until the subject of work came up or where they were going to find a motel. _Maybe she wouldn't leave_.

Mulder didn't know whether he found that good or bad.

He shovelled the rest of the sunflower seeds in his mouth. He still hadn't had time to figure out why Scully's pregnancy was such big news, he didn't know how to approach it without drawing too much attention. He had put the X up on his window, following their last baby conversation but Deep Throat was yet to appear. _Trust no one, even the walls have ears…? No one meaning Scully?_

Mulder covered his face with his hands and held them there for a good minute, he could feel himself getting older. Collecting himself, he reached for his phone and dialled Scully's cell number.

"_Scully what would you do if our child was a reincarnated murder victim?"_

"_What if I can't bond with the child?"_

"_What if there is something wrong with him"_

"_Scully what would you do if our child witnessed their sister being abducted by aliens and had to go to into regression classes and later chased the skies until he found her" _he chuckled before sobering.

"_**What if I am not able to protect my child from the harshness of the world, like my parents had not been able to protect Samantha**__? – _that was the deal breaker.

He heard Scully's voice on the other end, he had woken her up. He put the phone down. _What was he doing_?

Mulder realised that he couldn't change his lifestyle. And it wasn't the life he wanted to expose his child to. He imagined a childhood similar to his and his sister's childhood in Connecticut. He couldn't provide this for his child, not with the search of his sister still on and his important work with the X-Files. But Scully and whoever his son would call father could.

Mulder put the phone back on the desk. Chucked on his running clothes. He needed air.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Set in between S1E22 & 23.**_

**CHAPTER 9: Lydia**

**PART I**

**ACT 1: FBI Basement, early morning. Day 1**

"Well this is a surprise" Scully smiled as she entereed the office.

Mulder had his back to the office front door, as he set up the OHP. "What is a surprise?" he turned and gave her a full watt smile, pretending to look shocked.

"You here before 8am in the morning" she said hanging up her coat.

"Oh I am sorry Scully, is this the time when you and all the other female employees of the FBI, convene together naked and have a massive pillow fight".

Scully chuckled. "You are just giving me reason to throw out all those videos in your bottom desk that do not belong to you". She leaned over his shoulder to see what he was compiling. "New case?".

Mulder handed her a file and removed the chair from behind his desk, placing it behind her. He tapped it, signalling her to sit down. She obliged.

"This is the Gauguin case" she said, eyeing through the paper work.

"You've heard of it?"

"Unless you were living underneath a rock in the Sierra Madre desert, I don't know how you couldn't have"

"Smoke signals"

She ignore the comment. "Lydia Gauguin, 5 years old, kidnapped from her parents' house Tuesday evening two weeks ago, no form of ransom note or contact. There are those that believe foul play, that the parents in fact murdered her and are using kidnapping to cover their tracks. There must be handfuls of police across the country on this investigation Mulder, let alone DC. What gives, what makes this an X-File?"

"What do you think happened to her Scully"

"Well I don't know Mulder, I am not assigned to this case and do not know all the facts" she frowned at him "but using what is being said on the news and what little I have already read from this file you gave me just a minute ago. I would say that it was your standard kidnapping. The child was unwatched with her parents out for the night, the police found the window opened, they located a neighbour's nearby ladder that the kidnapper could have used…"

"Yes but they found no finger prints other than the neighbour, and it definitely wasn't the neighbour, Mrs Jean Kandinsky, 82 years old"

"What about her gardener?"? Mulder went pick up his copy of the file. "Mr Jack Holland" Scully informed.

"Right. He has been visiting his family in the St Maartens since a week before the abduction, and has yet to come back"

"So what do you think, the parents did it?" she had a horrified look on her face.

"No I don't think that Scully", they shared a small smile.

"Well what do you think Mulder, you must have some idea, I mean you've got a show all set up" she said gesturing to the OHP.

Mulder studied Scully's face and chewed the inside of his mouth. "Alien abduction".

Scully stared at Mulder for a while and then rolled her eyes, closing the file.

"Well why not Scully, there is no real concrete evidence, no leads, no one saw anyone out and about that evening. You have to ask yourself Scully, why would a kidnapper take a 5 year old when there were two 1 year olds also in the room. I've been looking into the Gauguins' career history and the father used to work for the FBI just like my father used to, and now he is working for the military". Mulder could see from Scully's eyes that he was loosing her. "More importantly, the neighbour Mrs Kandinsky said she experienced a time loss of 9 minutes; as you know, classic UFO activity". Scully got up from her seat and headed towards the door, "wait where are you going".

"To get some coffee, its to early in the morning to listen to your theories without coffee".

"Don't you believe me?"

Scully paused at the door handle and turned her head to face Mulder. "It doesn't matter what I think Mulder, because we are not on this case"

"We are, I pulled some strings, we were assigned this morning. Our plane to Hartfield Jackson airport is in 2 hours. You need to go home and get packed"

"Mulder, you are grasping at loose strings; and, I am not coming with you"

"Scully…."

"No Mulder, I won't. This is not an X-File, there are plenty of other law enforcement assigned to this case"

"Well I think it warrants an investigation" Mulder said angrily, picking up his file, grabbing his coat from the hanger. He met Scully's hand on the door handle, her stomach lurched at his touch, removing it quickly. "I see you when I see you" Mulder said as he exited the room.

Scully stood motionless in the room; a million thoughts ran through her head. Not least the fact that Mulder had left her by herself again, while he followed up another hair brained lead.

…

Scully returned to the basement 15 minutes later, coffee in hand. She jogged to the office as she heard the office phone ringing, _what has Mulder forgotten. _Scully was surprised when she heard AD Skinner on the other line. "Yes sir, I will be right up".

**Skinner's office, 8am Day 1.**

Scully rushed a hand through her hair and straightened her jacket as Skinner's secretary summoned her into his office. She walked defiantly over to Skinner's desk, she paused momentarily when she smelt cigarette smoke and saw the smoking man sat on a couch in a in a darkly lit corner, before resuming her walk over to Skinner's desk. Skinner signalled her to sit down, she obliged, crossing her legs and pulling her chair in towards the desk.

"Agent Scully, I have called you into my office because I have just received a call from Agent Mulder, asking for a temporary assigned partner, as you have turned down the assignment that I agreed to assign you both to". Scully was poised to the spot, she felt her cheeks blushing slightly. "Agent Scully?"

"Yes sir, I turned down the case because after Agent Mulder informed me of the case, I failed to see why it was an X-File and warranted our investigation, when there are many other FBI agents already assigned to the case"

"Don't you think I thought about it before agreeing to Agent Mulder's request". Scully was definitely blushing now. AD Skinner removed his glasses and cleaned them, leaving Scully to squirm in her seat. Skinner glanced at CSM, who merely gave him a nod. "Agent Scully, where do you see yourself in 5 years time?", Skinner asked, placing his glasses back on his face.

Scully gaped and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know sir" she finally managed "hopefully still with the FBI".

"I assigned you and Agent Mulder to the case because so far, the investigation has taken no solid leads other than the fact that the parents did it; and, believe me the FBI is not going to let that decision pass so lightly. This family has one the hearts of many Americans, the father was a previous FBI employee. Yours and Agent Mulder's expertise will be refreshing and may turn up new leads".

"Yes sir. I will go and pack" Scully said rising from her chair and heading to the door.

Taking another lead from CSM, Skinner added. "And Agent Scully, need I remind you why you were assigned as Agent Mulder's partner?...You have the potential to make a promising career here at the FBI, if you play your cards right you could end up in an office like mine "

Scully nodded her head, "Yes sir", before making a quick exit. She let out the huge breath she had been holding, earning a look from Skinner's secretary. Part of the truth she would not admit was that she didn't want to help Mulder in disapproving his theory about alien abductions, she didn't want to take away his hope of finding his sister.

**FBI BASEMENT: 5 minutes later. **

Back in the Basement, Scully dialled Mulder's number. "Mulder? Yes its Scully. I changed my mind. I'm coming with you. See you in the airport in about 1 hour… OK, I will see you at my house in about 45 minutes…I have to pack…no I do not have a prepared overnight bag" she was getting impatient "…oki from now on Mulder I will, see you in 45 minutes ". Scully slammed the phone down and took a swig of her coffee, it was cold, she grimaced before having a quick tidy of the office – Mulder had left his files everywhere - and then locked up.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10: Lydia**

**PART II**

**Main Atlanta PD, Day 1, 1pm. **

"Agents Mulder and Scully?". They nodded, Mulder flashed his badge. "I'm Sheriff Goldsteen, I had a call that y'all would be helping us with this investigation. Have to say we are mighty grateful for any extra help, this case has really got us in a jam".

"Sheriff Goldsteen; I would appreciate it if you could run me and Agent Mulder through all the compiled 'evidence' for this investigation". She emphasised 'evidence', causing Mulder to roll his eyes, all he wanted to do was visit the Gauguins; "seeing as we are both new to this investigation, we would not want to make any hazardous leaps or assumptions". Scully glared at Mulder.

The Sheriff noticed the tension, and smiled nervously at the two. "Yes sure, if you would like to step this way into my office, and I'll have someone get you both some coffee. Mam" he said smiling and signalling Scully to go in front of him.

"Well there is that Southern hospitality that all us grey coats up North hear of" Mulder interrupted, causing both Scully and Goldsteen to stop. "Hey sheriff, you don't by any chance have a to-go cup. I think I am going to go visit the Gauguins, while you fill my partner in on all the 'evidence'"; directing the last part of the sentence to Scully.

Scully glared at him more intently, she couldn't believe he was leaving her by herself again. "Well sure I will get someone to drive you down"

"An address is all I need, I have my own rental"

"Yes, WE have our own rental" Scully interjected, shifting her position so that she was piggy between Mulder and Goldsteen; she wasn't going to let Mulder out of her sight. "You know what Sheriff, if you have the time, I would appreciate it if you directed both myself and Agent Mulder to the Gauguins' residence and fill us on the details on the way" she flashed Golsteen a sweet smile. Mulder was shocked, _Scully hardly ever smiled_.

"Why sure Agent Scully, I would be happy to" he said returning her smile. "Just let me get my hat"

"Wow Scully, I didn't realise he was your type".

Scully turned her attention back to Mulder. "I am not going to allow you to tell the Gauguins some cock and bull story about alien abductions".

Mulder bored both eyes into Scully's, her eyes flinched at his intensity. "I don't know why I though I could trust you" he said tearing his eyes away from Scully, "...must have been the mosquitoes", muttering not low enough for her not to hear.

"I never said that I didn't believe you about your sister" She turned to look him square in the eye. "All I am asking is for you not to jump to conclusions when there is no concrete evidence. Please Mulder, we are already a laughing stock in DC, not lets add Atlanta" she muttered back.

**Gauguin residence, Decatur.  
****Late Afternoon, Day 1.**

Sheriff Goldsteen turned down a cul-de-sac of 15 fawn bricked houses, all relatively the same sized 5 bedroom 3 bathroom with huge bay windows, framed with an almost lime green lawns, white picket fences, and neighbourhood watch signs outside every house. _Yeah right_ Mulder thought, he had learned from experience that suburban households only disguised the underbelly of domestic anarchy.

_I can only dream for this lifestyle_ Scully thought on the other hand, as they passed by the houses. Her father being a navy captain, had always meant that the Scully family had been well taken care of, _look at the size of_ _that fountain, _and that Maggie would continue to be well taken care of, _but to achieve this for myself_.

Outside the Gauguin household, Scully and Mulder were greeted by a juxstapose of well wishers for the Gauguin family, and torrents. Like much of the population in America, their front garden displayed the mixed views of those who thought the child had been unjustly kidnapped from her parents, and those who thought her parents were to blame, or worse orchestrated the killing. Flowers had been laid, bibles were out, plaques that wished the child's prompt and safe return; protestors which called for the parents to be put in the electric chair, and have their parental rights taken from them.

Pushing past a few news reporters and combating opposed crowds. Goldsteen, Scully and Mulder made it to the front door. Mulder had put a protective arm around Scully's shoulder as he guided her through the crowds, looking like he was going to punch the guy who almost fell into Scully. "Its Ok Mulder" she whispered, glad that Goldsteen was walking in front of them, but also tickled by Mulder's display of virility, _maybe he does still care about the baby_. When safely at the door, Mulder let Scully out of his grasp, she gave him a small smile in appreciation before going back into professional mode.

…

"Like I said, none of what we are telling you is any different from what we have already told the police; we are not hiding anything. All this…outside…we just…we just want… We don't know anyone who would want to hurt us or our daughter, we thought that we lived in a safe neighbourhood"; a distressed Anne Gauguin attempted to shield her tears. Her husband put a re-assuring hand on his wife's leg. The couple both held a sprawled out twin in their arms, both oblivious, no longer phased or fed up with the extra companies that had occupied their household during the past two weeks; they sucked hungrily on their milk bottles.

Mulder broke his stare from the brown haired boy that had started to fuss in his fathers arm, he cleared his throat. "Mr and Mrs Gauguin, your neighbour, Mrs Kandinsky reported that she witnessed a time loss of 9 minutes" all the adults eyes turned on Mulder; Scully, embarrassed focused on something on the wall in front of her; "did either or you notice such a phenomenon?"

The Gauguins stared at each other blankly. "No, should have we?" Joseph Gauguin asked sceptically. Anne Gauguin and Sheriff Goldsteen frowned at Mulder's question, which although directed at him, the dread that penetrated through Scully was enough for both of them.

"Is this Lydia?" Scully asked getting up and walking over to the mantle; in an attempt to distract attention from what Mulder had just laid on the table. All eyes followed her. Scully picked up a framed photograph and looked questionably at Anne Gauguin; she then dared a look at Mulder, _yep he's pissed. _Anne Gauguin joined Scully and looked fondly at the photograph in Scully's hand.

"Yes" she smiled distantly.

"She is beautiful"

"Yes she was" she said almost absent-mindedly. Scully frowned at her comment. John started coughing. "Excuse me" Anna directed at Scully; "honey you need to put Edward down for his nap".

Joseph Gauguin gave Mulder one more sceptical glance before bringing his gaze down to his sleeping son. "Execuse me", addressing both Mulder and Goldsteen, and followed his wife out the room. Scully trailed after Mrs Gauguin into the kitchen. Leaving Mulder and Sheriff Golsteen on their own.

Mulder could feel the Sheriff's stare, but he couldn't be bothered to explain. He hitched his knees in and jumped up off the couch. "If you would excuse ME Sheriff Goldsteen, I have a few questions for Mrs Kandisky, if you would be so kind to point me in the right direction Sir"; Mudler said, trying to mimic the Sheriff's hospitality.

"Sure thing Agent Mulder, but if you don't mind, I would like to come with you".


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: LYDIA**

**PART III**

**Gauguin Household  
****Late Afternoon, Day 1**

Mulder and Sheriff Goldsteen later opted to exit through the back door, so as to divert the crowds. As they passed through the kitchen, Mulder asked Scully not to go out front without him; Sheriff Goldsteen agreed saying that the crowds "were no place for a lady". Scully raised her left eyebrow, ignoring both comments. She weakly returned Anne's smile.

John gurgled. "The twins like to be fed at the same time, but they have different sleeping patterns. John doesn't take any naps in the day, but sleeps throughout the night, and, Edward naps throughout the day, but is up all throughout the night. Which means that I get no sleep"

_I know how that feels_, Scully thought, the baby had her up all through the night with sickness and cravings. Anne tickled the little boy on his stomach causing him and Anne to giggle. It was infectious, seeing the mother and child interact with each other bought a smile to Scully's face, how one little giggle from her son could etch the worries sketched on Anne's face. Scully was overdue for her 4 month scan as she had not yet decided whether or not to find out the sex of the baby. She couldn't deny that the thought of becoming a mom was growing on her. She had started to be more conscious over what she was eating, boosting up on her supplements; wandering over to the baby section in the supermarket; wondering what brand of diapers she would buy. Her smile faded as she saw out the corner of her eye, Mulder jump over the Gauguins' garden fence, she groaned inwardly. Anne caught her eye and turned to see what Scully was looking at. "Something has been bothering Mrs Gauguin" Scully said trying to distract her attention "when I enquired about the photograph of Lydia, you spoke of her in the past tense, do you fear the worst for your daughter?"

"I am a scientist and a doctor Agent Scully…"

"I am a doctor too"

"Well then maybe you can understand my logic Dr Scully" she rested the child on her hip, who started fiddling with the pendant on his mother's neck. "My daughter has been missing for over two weeks, law enforcements across the country have been looking for her, and there are no leads. Furthermore, there were no initial leads. When Joe used to work for the FBI I used to help ID some of his victims, you learn the successions from the failures. I will not allow myself to fantasise, I can only conclude that she is dead, and that we are looking for her body; or, that I will never see her again". Tears were rolling down Dr Gauguin's face.

"You shouldn't give up hope Dr Gauguin".

"I already have Dr Scully, I have to face the facts". John started to fuss on her hips "Excuse me", she said exiting the room.

**Kandinsky Residence  
****16:10**

"Phew" the Sheriff let out, picking his hat up off of the grass. Mulder had to hand it to him, he was in good shape for a man his age.

"So, Sheriff Goldsteen sir, what do you think happened to Lydia Gauguin?" Mulder asked as they walked towards the back door.

"Well you yourself met the Gauguins, good family, good background. I can't see them hurting a fly, could you?" Mulder shook his head. "But the fact is there is no evidence to say that they didn't do it"

_There is no evidence to say that they did do it, _Mulder thought

"...or that somebody else did it. Whatever 'it' is - murder, kidnapping" the sheriff let out a sigh. "I mean the child couldn't have just vanished into thin air. Which begs the assumption that they did do it, although why, I don't know. Personally I think that drugging a child like that, I don't care who they are or what their professions are; if the child wasn't gone out on sleeping pills, maybe you and I wouldn't be here; maybe someone would have heard her screams". The sheriff knocked hard on the back door. "She's a little deaf".

After introductions, Mrs Kandinsky led Mulder and the sheriff into the conservatory, so she could answer questions whilst resuming her pottery. Mulder sat on a stool opposite Mrs Kandinsky and her pottery wheel, while the sheriff moseyed through her completed ceramics and some of her paintings. _I think she is making a bowl. _"So Mrs Kandinsky, what I wanted to talk to you about was the lost 9 minutes you experienced the night of Lydia Gauguin's abduction". Mrs Kandinsky resumed shaping her piece of clay. Mulder wondered maybe she hadn't heard him. Mulder opened his mouth to ask her again but was cut off by Mrs Kandinsky.

"Young man" she directed to Sheriff Goldsteen; "there is a freshly baked apple and blackcurrant pie up on the kitchen counter, if you would like to help yourself"

"Why thank-you kindly mam, been a few hours since a last ate. Agent Mulder?"

"Maybe later"

"Eat it in the kitchen, I don't want any crumbs being bought into any other room than the kitchen"

"Yes mam"

"Now that he is out of our hairnet; you were asking me about the lost 9 minutes. It was Tuesday night two weeks ago and I had just finished my night cap and was making my way up to bed. I have a small glass of whisky before I go to bed; best medicine I know, keeps the arthritis pain right at bay; better than any medicine any doctor would prescribe you..." Mulder felt that he was loosing her but dared not interrupt her. "Anyway, there I was making my way up the stairs to bed, I glanced up at the grandfather clock at the top of the stairs as I always do, that was my great-grandfathers clock, been in the family generations, bought it all the way from Ireland all those years ago – I can show you the clock if you like?"

"That won't be necessary Mrs Kandinsky, just the 9 min…"

"...So I was ascending up the staircase and I looked at the grandfather clock on the top of the stairs like I always do. It read 9:10 in the evening, I reached the top of the stairs went to close the curtains of the adjoining window and that's when I saw a blinding light. I staggered backwards from the intensity, trying to shield my eyes from the glare, actually it's a wonder I didn't fall down the stairs, my legs aren't what they used to be you know. So anyway, this blinding light must have lasted about a minute/minute and a half tops. Naturally when the light subsided I looked around to see if I could see anything – nothing, when I was convinced there was nothing out there, I resumed back to bed, assuming it was a helicopter or something. Well, you can imagine my shock when I looked at the clock and saw that a whole 9 minutes had passed…"

"Mrs Kandinsky you didn't see anything else, nothing in the sky"

"Well I have to be honest sonny, I was looking on the ground not at the sky. I only assumed it was a helicopter because I could see no ground activity"

He wasn't gaining anything new from this conversation. "Mrs Kandinsky, what do you think happened to Lydia Gauguin?"

"Lydia was a sweet child, if ever she and her mother were walking past my house, she would always wave, even when she wasn't sure I was in, sometimes I would see her little hand waving, just by chance as I looked out one of windows…"

"You speak of Lydia Gauguin as if she is already dead?"

"Sonny in my life time, the violence and hurt that people can inflict towards others is unspeakable; but, as a Christian woman I know that those people will pay for their sins on judgement day. The child's father works for the government and used to be in law enforcement, if a man with that background or level of influence can't find their own child, then who can. Whoever orchestrated this kidnapping, knew exactly who they were going to get; maybe even knew or saw the parents give the child sleeping pills; finally, putting on a light show to prevent any onlookers" Mrs Kandinsky removed her hands from her pottery wheel for the first time since the conversation started. "What do you think happened?" she asked, searching Mulder's face.

"Alien abduction" He said in one quick breath, meeting Mrs Kandinsky gaze. "My area of expertise is extra-terrestrial phenomena, the bright light, time loss you experienced, its classic UFO activity. Concealed from the American people by our own government, for reasons I don't know but am adamant will one day find out. I have worked on a few cases where the evidence has come to the same conclusion"

"Any of them returned – the abductees?" It was not the answer Mulder was expecting.

"A few…a few haven't"

"Sonny, nothing would surprise me". She said re-focussing on her pottery. "Although it seems to me, that if what your saying really happens. Joe Gauguin works for the Department of Defence, where better to look?"

**Gauguin Residence  
****17:10**

Mulder and Sheriff Goldsteen had only stayed an extra 10 minutes at Mrs Kandisky's house. She offered Mulder a slice of the pie, which he had wrapped and given to Scully while they were alone in the Gauguins' kitchen. "Mulder" she whined.

"What? I skirted the back fence with this in my hand, its impressive that it is still in one piece. One handed fence jumping, are you impressed?" Scully needn't had replied, she couldn't conceal the smile that was slowly spreading across her face. "Ah!"

"Yes, I am impressed; but Mulder I'm going to get fat. I'm not tall and lanky like you are"

"But Scully, your supposed to get fat" Scully raised her left eyebrow, "your pregnant, your eating for two" Mulder tried to reason.

"First of all, baby bump and fat are totally different things" _her boobs are also going to get bigger_, Mulder thought; "and I am only really eating for like 1 and ¼, not 2. Pregnancy should be a time when women watch their weight, as that's when…Mulder stop laughing at me!" She pouted, checked to make sure no one else was in the room before accepting the pie. "Thank-you".

"Your welcome, now what did you find?"

"A size 13 shoe print…could be Gauguin's, the gardeners…"

"Mine"

Trying to ignore her blushing cheeks. "…Or the countless other male law enforcements that may have trudged through the back garden; but, its evidence", they said the last word simultaneously, causing them both to smile.

"What did you get from Mrs Gauguin?"

"Nothing much"

"Oki, I am going to have a quick scan upstairs and then we'll head off"

"Wait, what did you get from Mrs Kandinsky?"

"It would only make you angry"

Scully nodded, _he was probably right_. "And Mulder, don't ever tell a pregnant woman she is going to get fat. In fact don't ever direct the word 'fat' to a woman"

"Noted"

…

Mulder scanned the room where the twins and their sister had been sleeping the night of the abduction, the room still had tape on the door and was closed off. He couldn't find any evidence other than what had been already catalogued. He met Mr Gauguin at the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry for any inconvenience, I'm just heading out".

"Inconvenience? Everyone else says loss. My wife has already given up, but I believe there is still hope…what were you saying earlier about the loss of 9 minutes?"

Mulder chewed his lips, contemplating whether he should say something about aliens, Samantha … "Mr Gauguin, me and Agent Scully work on special cases called the X-Files, I don't know if you heard of them back while you were in the bureau … or now that you are a military man", Mulder asked hopefully; Gauguin shook his head. "Well we work with the paranormal, extra terrestrial alien activity…"

"You mean little green men?"

Mulder sighed.

"Well go on"

"The characteristics that your neighbour Mrs Kandinsky mentioned, bright light, loss of 9 minutes, are classic UFO activity"

"And what has this got to do with the disappearance of my daughter?"

Mulder decided he would mention Samantha's abduction, as he held Gauguin's attention so far. He informed what he had witnessed during Samantha's abduction and how that linked with Mrs Kandinsky's account, other alien abduction accounts. The links between his father's and Gauguin's profession, the military link; the lack of evidence to explain otherwise.

"But they all come back"

"Nearly all, some don't". _Samantha. _Their conversation was interrupted by Scully, Mrs Gauguin and John. "Mulder, its almost 6pm, we should go"

"Maybe you can join us for dinner?" Joe asked, reluctant to let Mulder leave yet. Neither Dr Gauguin or Scully showed much enthusiasm.

"Actually there are some particulates that Agent Mulder and I have to discuss back at the station" Scully informed before Mulder could respond, shooting him a 'don't contradict me look'.

Mulder nodded. "Well thank-you both for your time, I hope" shaking Mrs Gauguin's hand "you have the safe return of your daughter soon" Mulder moved to shake Mr Gauguin's hand.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow" Mulder agreed.

Dr Gauguin looked quizzical on the exchange that was happening in front of her; Scully looked worried. On meeting Mrs Gauguin's eyes she gave her a weak, but Scully hoped reassuring smile.

The crowds were still prevalent as they exited the house. Sheriff Goldsteen walked in front; Mulder with a protective arm around Scully, leading her and their baby through the crowds.

**Super 8 Motel  
****Decatur 11pm, Day 1**

The drive from police station to their motel was in silence, Scully still couldn't believe that Dr Gauguin had given up on her child. Mulder couldn't believe that he was going to have chance to snoop around the DOD, with a level of clearance.

Scully emerged from her motel bathroom, clad in her pyjamas, she had just been sick; _I'm going to be up all night. _There was a knock at her door "Its open", she closed her laptop. She had re-written her updated report twice, not wanting to put Mulder in a bad light, but in the end decided to write the truth and let Skinner make his own assumptions about Mulder's behaviour.

Mulder walked in heavily, making loud and purposeful movements as he shut, locked, bolted and put the chain on the door.

Scully rolled her eyes "you know Mulder, I have a gun"

"So could your assailant"

"I knew it was you"

"hmmm but what if it wasn't" he said chucking her a bag of sunflower seeds that she had asked him to get while out on his run.

"So Mulder, what were you and Gauguin talking about, and this time the truth" she said, taking a seat at the small motel table.

Mulder laid out the best he could on the small sofa, he let out a deep sigh "the truth" he flashed her a small smile.

"and what truth is that Mulder" she didn't return it.

"That we work with the paranormal, that we are aware of cases were such activity goes on"

"Activity such as what Mulder?" she asked as she angrily opened the bag of seeds and started eating. He could hear the anger boiling up in her voice.

"UFO activity" he said through gritted teeth, eyes winced in preparation for Scully's response.

"So you told him about your sister" she was remaining calm "and what did he say?"

"That he thought it was worth further investigation and he would like to help me"

"Unbelievable"

"There is no evidence of breaking or entering, no unknown fingerprints or any sort of DNA, no ransom note, the list is endless. So is it so hard to believe that alien abduction may be the case?"

"Yes Mulder, it ...", a hand flew to her stomach, she flew to the bathroom.

Mulder walked up to the bathroom door "I'll let you sleep, I'm going to go back to my room and go over the files. Goodnight. Lock up after me, I mean it".

"Night" she called, she thought she was going to be sick but realised it was the baby moving! The first time she had felt her child, she felt tears swell up in her eyes. She wished that Mulder would stay and share this moment with her; that he saw her more than what she believed she was to him: a work partner, an opposite, a mistake. She exited the bathroom and walked over to the door to lock, bolt and chain. She grabbed the sunflower seeds, her only comfort of him.

**Super 8 Motel  
****Decatur 8am, Day 2**

"Just a moment" Mulder called, he hated the fact he had to wear a tie. "Morning Scully", he moved out of the doorway to let her in.

"Did Sheriff Goldsteen call you, there has been a new lead" she didn't move from the door frame.

"Yep got the call, although I can't go down to the station, but you can"

"Why, where are you going?"

"Me and Gauguin are going to do so some investigating of our own"

She didn't even know how to respond, she had washed her hands of him last night. "Fine, you go ahead on your goose chase, I am going to help Sheriff Goldsteen, and you know maybe solve this case"

"Fine" he said closing the door on her.

"Fine". They were both fuming.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12: Lydia (4)  
****Dekalb Medical Hospital, 10:25, Day 2**

"Sheriff Goldsteen", she joined him at the medical room window.

"Good morning Agent Scully…where's Agent Mulder?"

"Agent Mulder is…round at the Gauguins, he had some more questions" _Is this me protecting Mulder or am I saving my own ass? _"What is this new lead?"

The sheriff indicated Scully to look through the window. "One Caucasian female, approximately between the ages of 4 and 6, picked up earlier this morning in the care of a Mr Reese DeGarrett and his girlfriend Miss Rianne Ludlow, in their car along route 78. When a local sheriff pulled the car over at approximately 6:30 this morning, because the car over heating and smoking; neither the couple nor the sheriff could rouse the child from her passed out state. It appeared to the sheriff like she had been drugged. When the sheriff went to take a closer look, the couple tried to escape using his police car; the sheriff however luckily apprehended them both. To put a long story short, we think that this child" Sheriff Goldsteen tapped on the window "could by Lydia Gauguin".

"She's not talking?"

The sheriff shook his head. "It's hard to get a reaction out of her, let alone get her to talk"

Scully stared at the child that stood the other side of the glass; she guessed no more than 3 foot, sat swamped in an oversized hospital robe, while a nurse checked her motor reflexes. Scully watched the nurse tap a hammer on her left knee, it took over a second for her to react. Scully let out a sigh of disgust. The little girl possessed a darker complexion, a different hair length and colour than the image in Lydia's case report. "Hair cut and dyed blonde, skin tanned…"

"After the nurse finishes checking her reflexes, the doctor will check DNA to see who this child is"

Scully winced as she witnessed the child showing the same reaction with her other knee. "I'm going to scrub up and help with the identification. That is unless you want me in the interrogation room?"

"I think its best Agent Scully that we find out who this child is, so we can reunite her with her family. God only knows what this child has been through"

Scully nodded in response, letting out a huge sigh. She felt tears brimming in her eyes "excuse me" and jogged to the nearest bathroom where she broke down in tears.

**Department of Defence, Atlanta  
10:45, Day 2**

Gauguin and Mulder had first arrived at Gauguin's office around 9am, since then they had scoured the levels of the building and met nothing but offices and resource rooms full of photocopiers, spare pens and notepads. "Well that was successful", Mulder distorted his face with his hands, before resting his hands on his hips.

"Yep" agreed Gauguin, who swivelled slightly on his chair "well what do we do now Agent Mulder?"

Mulder twisted his lips while he thought. "I think we're too central, pull up the directory…we're looking for a isolated military base…there Fort Spender, Columbus; it has no description. All the others, Fort Benning, Army; Fort Gordon, Army; Navy; Airforce. This one has no description, it has to be that one", he looked at Gauguin for confirmation.

"I think you maybe right" he said matching Mulder's stare.

Mulder nodded "Lets go".

**DeKalb Medical Centre  
10:50, Day 2**

Scully pretended to be checking the child's toe reflexes as she tried to compose herself. She had gone to swab the child's mouth when Scully noticed how perfect her teeth were, abnormal for a child her age. Scully could hardly contain her gasp when she realised that they were dentures and all her real teeth had been pulled out. However, what upset her more was the child's placid reaction; she merely blinked as if Scully was not even there. _God what has this child been through_. When Scully was convinced she wasn't going to cry, she looked up into the child's face to take in her features; the child focussed on her. "Dr Julian, this is not Lydia Gauguin".

"But, how do you know? We haven't done any tests…"

"The features are wrong…." Scully placed a gloved finger on the child's eye, she didn't flinch.

"but Dr Scully it is possible that…."

"…and wrong eye colour" Scully removed a contact lens from the child's eye, to expose one brown and one green eye, "Lydia has blue eyes, this little lady has green eyes"; Scully offered a smile, the little girl did not return it.

"So this is not the Gauguin girl?" Dr Julian sounded annoyed

Scully frowned "no; but she is someone's girl" offering the little girl another smile, promising with her eyes that she would reunite her with her family.

Scully walked to the corner of the room to fish out her cell phone, nothing from Mulder. She rolled her eyes, _don't bite Dana_ and went in search for Sheriff Goldsteen instead.

…

By 12:55, Scully had completed her examination on who had now been confirmed as May Wright, six years old from Minnesota, missing for six months. Her parents had been notified and were flying over; they would not be able to take their daughter straight away, she would have to spend two months in a sort of half way house, she required intense psychological therapy so she could come to terms with her ordeal. Scully had been close to tears throughout the examination. Although she could guess from her physical on May, Scully did not want to find out what her ordeal had been; she did not want to meet the people who had teared this child away from her parents and her childhood. Scully threw her latex gloves into the bin and her scrubs into the laundry; she glanced at her phone, still no word from Mulder. She felt a tear role down her cheek, _get a grip Dana_; she turned when she heard a knock on the door, _Sheriff Goldsteen?_ and composed herself.

"May's parents just boarded their plane from Minnesota. I know you wanted it to be Lydia Gauguin"

"Two parents are going to be reunited with their daughter. I can't complain…Did the shoe print match Reese DeGarrett by any chance?" The sheriff shook his head,"what about Mrs Kandinsky's gardener?"

"He is still in St Maartens. Checked with local police there, Holland had gone home because his mother had died. He has witnesses and an alibi. He says he is very sorry to hear about the Gauguin child".

Scully nodded, grabbing her coat. "I'm going to go over to the Gauguin household, let them know that it's not their daughter"

"Do you want me to drive you over?"

"No its ok, I have the rental"._ *&*&***! Mulder!...Where is this anger coming from Dana, get a grip_. "I'll appreciate the drive", her face wouldn't hide her anger.

"Are you ok Agent Scully?"

_Let's see, I just had to do an examination on an abused 6 year old girl. I can't stop crying. I am still looking for a five year old little girl who is … god knows where and in what condition. I am responsible for the actions of my irresponsible child partner, who has again ditched me and I have no idea where he is; with him, an innocent or not so innocent man. Why must I always chase you Mulder?... Oh, and in about 5 months, I am going to become a single mom_… _I should not even be on this case. It's the weekend tomorrow and I had planned to spend it relaxing, visiting my family and deciding whether or not to find out the sex of my unborn child. _"…I'm fine".

Sheriff Goldsteen nodded "Good work today Agent Scully, couldn't have done it without you, and definitely not as efficiently"

Scully titled her head in acknowledgement_, its nice to be appreciated_". "See you later at the PD station", she rewarded the sheriff a smile.

**Fort Spender Military Base  
****13:25, Day 2**

"There, there, there; there is the turning just ahead" Mulder said excitedly. They had been driving for the past two hours. FORT SPENDER MILITARY BASE.

"I hope my pass allows us access"

"There is only one way to find out. Just stick to the story we discussed"

Gauguin nodded as they were signalled to stop by a checkpoint guard. Gauguin reached for his badge. "Joseph Gauguin, General O'Brien requested that I escort Agent Mulder" Mulder gave up his badge "of the FBI to the facility to monitor the progress"

"No such visit is scheduled for today" the guard scanned a clipboard.

"General O'Brien not long contacted me, he said it was urgent"

"You can call General O'Brien or A.D. Skinner at the FBI HQ in DC if you need confirmation but as you can imagine we are on a tight schedule"

The guard nodded and passed back their IDs and passes before raising the barrier. Mulder and Gauguin had hoped that their high level name dropping and vagueness over their visit would work in their favour, it did. _This is actually happening_, Mulder thought.

**Gauguin Residence  
15:00,Day 2**

Scully was sat on the floor in the Gauguins' living room entertaining John with some building blocs, she had built what resembled a ship, no sooner had she finished it, John took great pleasure in demolishing it. His giggle infectious, causing her to laugh too. She sobered when Dr Gauguin entered the room; after Scully had informed her that the child was not Lydia, she had rushed out of the room, leaving Scully alone with her son. Dr Gauguin's tear streaked face smiled at Scully and John, she rubbed her arms, "I don't know where Joe is, he said that something important came up in work, don't know why he would…". Dr Gauguin looked out the window and frowned, "would you like some more tea?", offering Scully a smile. Scully nodded, returning her smile. That was the fifth time that Dr Gauguin had mentioned her husband not being here in the hour since Scully had arrived; and, every time that she had mentioned It, Scully had felt more and more guilty. Dr Gauguin returned with a fresh pot of tea and a cup of coffee a couple of minutes later. "I wish I didn't have to drink so many cups of coffee a day but it's the only way I can keep up with the kids"

"I can imagine. I usually drink coffee like its water but I am trying to cut down, I limit myself to just one a day in the morning"; Scully unconsciously looked down at her stomach and smiled a little. She snapped her head up suddenly, wondering if Dr Gauguin had detected her secret; but she needn't worry, Dr Gauguin was lost looking at the crowds that were still prevalent outside her house.

"I don't know where Joe is, I don't understand where he had to go that was so important. I tried to call him but he is not answering his phone" she sipped some of her coffee.

"I'm sure he will be home soon. I'll stay until then"

Dr Gauguin merely nodded as she took another sip of her coffee, not tearing her eyes away from the scene outside. Scully prayed that Mulder would bring Gauguin home soon, she was shocked at how unstable Dr Gauguin was without her husband. That strong and defiant woman that she had met yesterday was gone.

**Fort Spender Military Base  
****15:05, Day 2**

Since passing the first checkpoint, Mulder and Gauguin had not been stopped; other guards warranting their passes as authority. They had been in the facility for about an hour and a half now, searched two large scale rooms filled with wall to wall files. This was their fourth room of what Mulder guessed was about 14 just on this floor, and there was another two floors to search.

"What's this?" Gauguin asked hastily, he had been looking through a draw marked GA on the front.

"What have you got?" Mulder started to walk over, in his hand a file titled 'Operation Colonisation COPY'. Both Gauguin and Mulder stopped as they heard an alarm go off "They may be on to us, we have to get out NOW". Gauguin stayed motionless; Mulder frowned "Come on…what?...What did you find?".

"A file on my daughter…it has all…". Mulder didn't hear the rest of it, he rushed further down the room, looking for a drawer titled MU. "We have to go Mulder…Mulder", Gauguin had come to his senses and could use his feet again.

"I have to see if there is a file on my sister… I have to…". Mulder was cut short as a guard grabbed the file out of his hand and another restrained him, another two guards had done the same with Gauguin. _Shit_.

**Gauguin Residence  
****16:45, Day 2**

In the kitchen a plate smashed causing John, Edward and Scully to jump out of their skins. Dr Gauguin apologised, Scully went over to help her. "Dr Gauguin why don't you go and lie down, I will watch the twins for you"

"No it's ok, I cant leave you with the both of them. I have already kept you hostage for the last three hours, I am sure your partner is going out of his mind without you"

_I wouldn't bet. _

"Really I am fine, its just this and the crowds…", Dr Gauguin was interrupted by Scully's cell phone. Scully rushed over to it.

_Mulder, at last_, Scully thought, managing to contain her shock when she instead heard A.D. Skinner's voice on the other end. "Hello sir…no, Agent Mulder is in the field. I am with Mrs Gauguin…no, I did not know that sir…no we went our separate ways this morning, he didn't give my any indication…yes I will make my way over there now…I know sir…I'm sorry sir…yes, I will have Agent Mulder call you after I pick him up". Scully put the phone down and distorted her face with a hand, _Mulder_. She realised she had a crowd, six set of eyes set on her. "I gotta go"

**Fort Spender Military Base  
****19:25, Day 2**

An automatic steel door closed behind Mulder, Gauguin, and two escort guards. "Mulder, what the hell were you thinking? And dragging Mr Gauguin…"

"Don't Scully, just don't. I can't deal with you and your lectures just at this moment"

"Well maybe you don't want to explain it to me but you are going to have to explain it to A.D. Skinner, he is royally pissed off at you Mulder, which of course means he is royally pissed off at me"

"Well I am sorry, I pulled a stoke out of your ladder climbing"

"How dare you, how dare you say that to me. I just drove two hours and spent ½ an hour signing papers for your release…"

"And I am very thankful to you" he said sarcastically, walking past her.

"Wait Mulder, where are you going?" She chased him down the corridor.

"Away from you"

"Mulder the car is…"

"We have our own car. Sorry I messed up your plans"; he left her in the cold corridor by herself, the guards came up behind her to escort her out of the premises.

**Gauguin's car  
****20:15, Day 2**

The car journey had so far been in silence, Gauguin and Mulder contemplating the answers they had found, only to instantly loose. "So that display that you and your partner put on"

"Yeah what about it?" Mulder felt defensive, he knew he was in the wrong, especially after she had travelled all that way, _but I guess Skinner didn't give her any choice_.

"Is there something going on between of you"

"No"

"It wasn't cool you know, just leaving her like that, not letting her know where you were going in the first place. I mean you didn't even see if she got to her car ok"

Mulder pursed his lips. "Oh like you didn't tell your wife, or answer any of her phone calls"

"That's different, I'm protecting her"

_And I Scully_ ."You know Scully is trying to make a name for herself, in a environment dominated by men, I try to treat her as my equal, as I would a male partner. And Scully appreciates it". _Or at least she did._ "We were so close", Mulder wanted to change the subject, "did you get a good look at the file?"

"Not really, it contained a profile and an in-depth physical profile…nothing really, just a smidgen of the entire file, I could have done with another ½ an hour. Its left more questions than answers really"

"Yeah I know what you mean", Mulder wished that the Operation Colonisation file sat in the passenger seat instead of Gauguin.

"But their guilty, I am sure of it and I am going to go public with it"

Mulder nodded slowly, "we have to think how you are going to approach this. I mean my sister went missing almost 20 years ago and I am still looking for her"

"We will have all of America listening to this, they are all on my front lawn. They will have to listen and give us an answer"

Mulder nodded, not sure. "Still I think we need to think about it strategically, maybe sleep on it"

"I want my daughter back now Agent Mulder, I want to place her into my wife's arms"

"I know you do". Mulder had a flash thought of Scully driving back in the night by herself on the derelict highway, he felt sick to his stomach.

**Motel 8, Decatur  
****21:45, Day 2**

Scully flopped on to her hotel bed, after four hours of near back to back driving she ached all over, her bed never felt so comfortable. Her belly rumbled, she let up a small cry, "give me five minutes baby, and I promise I will feed you". She recalled that she had eaten hardly anything today, skipping breakfast this morning because she was so angry with Mulder; grabbing a blueberry muffin and an orange juice from the hospital canteen before she left for the Gauguins; and, a slice of carrot cake at 4pm_. No wonder the baby is angry; why didn't I eat on the way back?_ She knew why and it began with an M and ended with an R. She willed herself to get up and to forget about Mulder, she had to feed this baby,_ that's who I should be worrying about, not the father_.

Scully jumped a little when she met Mulder standing outside her door. "What do you want?"

"I came to drop this off for you, sorry it's not the Ritz but it was the only place on the way that was open". She noticed the food that he held in his hand. _Pizza, drinks, sunflower seeds and a blueberry muffin._ She noticed that the pizza was large enough for the both of them, but just left him with a drink; she didn't want to talk to him or even be in his presence "Thanks", she mumbled before turning back into her room.

"Scully" he stopped her "I am sorry for the way I acted towards you today, I just want you to know that. I was wrong". Scully nodded and continued her descent into her room, she went to close the door, Mulder still in its wake. "Scully wait…"

"Mulder please don't, I don't have the energy to talk to you, I'ts been a trying day..."

Mulder nodded, _she needs her space_.

**Motel 8, Mulder's room  
22:30, Day 2**

There was a knock at his door. _Who is that…Gauguin?_ …"Scully, hi", not who he expected.

"I have calmed down a bit. Bought you half of the pizza and packet of sunflower seeds", she passed him the food.

"Thanks" they were silent for a while, neither breaking their gaze. "Listen Scully, I am truly sorry for what I put you through today" he moved his gaze to her stomach "for what I put the baby through today".

"I know you are Mulder, you just get tunnel vision, and you don't mean it"

"Well I have to be more conscious about it, for you if not for anyone else, especially now"

Scully nodded, "well goodnight Mulder"

"Goodnight", he watched her into her motel room.

**Motel 8, Decatur  
****Scully's room, 21:50, Day 2**

Scully shut the door behind her. Mulder never failed to surprise, the kindness and sincerity he could show her, just when she thought the worse of him, _pity that he is not like that all the time_. Scully smiled recalling the concern he had over their baby, and the promise he made. _Well we will see if he daddy keeps it; _she locked and bolted the door.


	13. Chapter 13

_**a/n: Thanks for the reviews . This is the last chapter for this made up investigation – it was so hard to write, I'm glad it's over. Btw Anne/Dr Gauguin/ Mrs Gauguin are all the same person. Joe/ Gauguin/ Mr Gauguin same.**_

**CHAPTER 13: Lydia  
PART V**

Gauguin Residence  
03:10, Day 3

Anne Gauguin woke up with a start. She couldn't hear Edward or John, Joe wasn't snoring; what had woken her up? It was then that she saw her in the corner of her room, her Lydia, she had returned to her. She jumped up out of bed, waking Joe up. Tears streamed down Anne's face as she embraced her daughter, she leaned in to breath in her scent, and smelt nothing.

"Honey, what are you doing?"

"Lydia has…" Anne stopped. Disbelief overwhelmed her body. She scanned desperately around the room.

"…Honey?"

"She was here, she was right here Joe, I swear. She was right…" her voice started to quiver. Joe moved to envelop his wife. "Don't Joe, she was right here…" They were silent for a minute; Anne untangled herself from her husband's embrace and sat at the edge of their bed. "What does this mean Joe?...Am I being punished?"

"No honey", he joined her on the bed, "there is no cause for punishment". Anne broke down in tears; Joe leaned in to comfort his wife.

**Motel 8, Decatur  
****Mulder's room, 03:40, Day 3**

"Mulder" he squinted at his watch on the bedside. "Joe hi…she what?...yes of course…I'll be right over"

**Gauguin Residence  
****05:20am, Day 3**

Mulder was leaving the Gauguins' house, when he heard a noise coming from the twins' bedroom.

He and Sheriff Goldsteen had just taken a report from Anne about her 'vision'. She'd asked Mulder what he thought it had meant, he said that he wasn't sure. He'd lied; he informed Sheriff Goldsteen that Mrs Gauguin seeing her daughter was classic example of denial over her daughter's death, whether that meant that she herself was guilty, he could not say. Mulder later spent ½ an hour in the Gauguins' bedroom talking to Joe, his wife asleep in his arms; she had started hyperventilating when he had tried to untangle himself from her. As she was asleep, Mulder took this opportunity to tell Joe what he had told the sheriff in private, missing the part about his wife maybe being guilty. It had occurred to Mulder that maybe he was wrong and that this case, maybe it was unlike his sisters. Gauguin however was still adamant that the military had something to do with his daughter's abduction, "why did they only have a file on her and not the rest of the family…there are no coincidences in an investigation" he'd argued. Gauguin wanted to expose, punish and get answers; his wife's current state of mind had not helped. At 5:20am, seeing that Joe's eyes were drooping as well as his own, Mulder had said he'd go back to his motel, but would return in a few hours when everyone had had a bit more sleep.

The noise turned out to be Edward. Mulder picked the little boy out of his crib; he stared intently into Mulder's eyes, before redirecting his and Mulder's to the mobile above him. Edward pointed to the model of a spaceship, and stared back at Mulder. "I know shorty, but no one would believe us". Mulder settled the boy down and watched as he shuffled over to a book, indicating Mulder to read it. They settled down on the bean bag next to the night light, 'Green Eggs and Ham'. Mulder was careful that his voice did not wake up John. They soon both fell asleep.

…

Scully hovered over Mulder and the baby asleep in his arms; she glanced at her watch, 11:20am. Worry covered her face and her brow wore a slight frown. "Mulder…Mulder get up", she reached to touch his arm, "…Mulder". His eyes started to twitch; Scully picked the child out of his arms and moved him to his crib.

"Scully…" Mulder took in his surroundings, rubbing his face awake.

"Mulder we have to leave"

"Leave…? No Scully, I think I may have been wrong about this case resembling my sisters. Last night Mrs Gauguin…"

"Yeah I heard. The point is Mulder it is no longer our concern, A.D. Skinner has pulled us off the case"

Mulder's hands froze on his face. "What?"

"Its 11:20am Mulder, I have heard about the Gauguins' paranormal breakthroughs this morning, along with the rest of America, it's headline news" she passed him a newspaper "why didn't you include me in yours and the Gauguins' secret meeting?" _does the word 'partner' not mean anything to you?_

_I wanted to let you and the baby sleep _"It was hardly secret Scully, Sheriff Goldsteen was there too". Mulder took in the newspaper heading: "Gauguins' blame little green men for their daughter's disappearance…Scully what is this?" He read the subheading aloud "Anne Gauguin: a psychotic, pill popping mother". He looked at Scully with a confused expression.

"Don't look at me. This has YOU written all over this".

"Scully I…"

"Let me update you Mulder. At approximately 8:20am, I get woken up by a far from angry A.D. Skinner, who wants to know A, why you never called him last night about your behaviour over at the military base and B, why he has General O'Brien calling him over damage control".

Mulder still looked blank.

"Gauguin Mulder, last night Gauguin told the press that the military had hidden the fact that aliens had kidnapped his daughter, and he wasn't talking about the illegal ones"

The penny dropped, Mulder put his head in his hands.

"That's not the least of what has happened while you were sleeping. Dr Gauguin's vision has also made it to the news headlines and she has been taken to a mental asylum, not to mention the fact that Gauguin's been fired from his job. I am surprised you slept through it, not to mention the crowds, which have tripled in the last few hours"

"I told him not to go public", it came out muffled as Mulder still had his head in his hands; he released his face. "How did they find out about Mrs Gauguin's vision?"

"I don't know Mulder and it's not our job to find out, we are off the case. Skinner wants us back in D.C. immediately; I wouldn't be surprised if we were both out of the job".

Mulder rose; "I can't go to DC".

Scully rolled her eyes, "what do you mean you can't go to DC, Mulder we have strict orders…"

"I can't leave the way things are…"

"Mulder, haven't you caused this family enough" Mulder's eyes fell; this was the last thing he had wanted to happen. "Our flight is in 3 hours. Please be there, maybe there is a chance we can salvage our jobs".

Mulder nodded and Scully left the room, leaving Mulder with his guilt.

**Motel 8, Mulder's motel room.  
****13:15, Day 3**

Mulder slung in the last of his possessions in his overnight bed before slugging on to the bed. He zipped up his bag and twiddled with the zipper. He breathed out a heavy sigh, still trying to take in all that had happened in the few hours he had been asleep. He recalled Scully's face; it had not been anger but worse, disappointment. A light knock at his motel door, awoken him from his thoughts, "It's open". Scully walked in, she looked troubled.

She took in a sharp intake of breath "There is no easy way to say this so I am going to just day it". Mulder nodded as encouragement for her to go on. "Mulder; Joe Gauguin was found dead in his basement, a self-inflicted gunshot to the head" she released the breath.

The only reaction he cold muster was to nod.

"A note was found. He admitted that he had left the back door unlocked the night of Lydia's abduction. He claimed full blame and asked for his wife's release"

"And will she be released?"

Scully shook her head "No. At least it doesn't look like it. She has been deemed 'unfit' to be a parent".

Mulder nodded, "what about the boys, what will happen to them?"

"An aunt has agreed to take the boys". Mulder nodded. Neither had to speak to know what the other was thinking. "Mulder, A.D. Skinner still wants us in DC; our flight is still in an hour; I'll be waiting in the car".

**Mulder's Apartment  
****21:50, Day 3**

The apartment was dark, only the desk light was on, you could hear a pin drop. Mulder was fully laid out on his couch, basketball in hand, he threw it up to the ceiling and caught it. He had been doing this for over an hour and ½ now, his neighbour above him had already banged on his ceiling three times and probably tried to call his apartment, he didn't know, he wasn't answering the phone. Words could not describe the guilt he was feeling. They had been too close to this case, he especially; but he knew that Scully had connected with Anne, just as much as he had with Gauguin. He went with a mind to help, not destroy. He whacked the ball on to the ceiling, earning him three loud bangs. He decided to twirl it instead. _Was my sister really abducted by aliens_, he asked the 'magic 8' basketball. He was interrupted by a knock at the door, he stopped_, it's probably upstairs_, he carried on spinning. Another knock, _yesh their persistent_, he continued spinning. A third knock, "I've stopped banging now, you can get back to your Moonlighting" he yelled.

"Mulder it's me" he heard faintly. Mulder scrambled for the door, causing the ball to knock over his empty coffee cup.

"Scully, hi", she frowned and peeked round him into his apartment?

"Basketball and the coffee cup". Remembering his manners, he moved out the way of the door to let her in. There apartment was quite dark so she Scully cautiously walked in. Mulder switched on a light, when she turned to face him, he could see that she had been crying. "Scully what's the matter" he panicked moving closer to her, she put her arms up to block Mulder from coming any closer to her. "Is there something wrong with the…" his eyes moved down her stomach.

"No" she wrapped her arms round her waist "at least I don't think so. I don't know, I just can't stop crying". Mulder signalled her to sit on the couch, she obliged, he sat on the desk chair, not knowing quite where he stood with her. "It's not just now, for the past week, sometimes I cry at the most ridiculous things. I'm just fed up with it, all the crying, the achiness, the moodiness, it seems like I am forever nauseous or having cravings or..." …_aroused._ "... and I'm just fed up with it and having to go through it by myself".

"You haven't told your mother or your family yet?"

This caused her tears to start falling, she wiped them away quickly "No Mulder I haven't told my mother yet" she snapped._  
_

"Well you should soon Scully, I don't know much about babies or pregnancies but I guess they are only going to get worse. I mean you won't be able to hide it for much longer". She smiled weakly, "I mean what are you now" calculating it "4 months?"

"4 months and almost two weeks"

"Didn't you say that you could find out the sex at 4 months?"

"I haven't been for my scan yet"

"Are you going to find out?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know Mulder, what I am going to do" she said angrily, trying to fight off more tears from brewing. _Maybe you could show a little interest and make a decision_.

Mulder looked at her sympathetically. "You know Scully this was a hard case for the both of us, I know it was for me" he breathed out and stretched his legs, covering his hands with his face. There was silence for a while. "Scully I would like to reimburse you the weeks pay that I lost you"

"No Mulder, you don't have to do that"

"Please I want to, it's the least I can do what with the baby…"

"No" she said angrily.

He chewed the inside of his mouth. "Well, let me buy something that you will need for when the baby arrives, maybe a crib, a stack of diapers – I know that you can never get enough of them". This caused Scully's water works to start, being reminded yet again that she had to do all this by herself, as well as building a career, and some sort of a social life. "Hey Scully" Mulder moved closer and enveloped her in a hug; he placed a secure kiss on the top of her head. She breathed in his scent, her stomach flipped, she smiled.

"OOOooo"

"What?" Mulder removed one of his arms from her.

"It's nothing, just a chill".

"Sorry the apartment was so stuffy, I didn't put the heating on". He went to shut the window, he looked back at his partners tear streaked face. "Come on, I will make sure you get home safely".

"Wait, can I use your bathroom first…just want to wash up my face"

**Georgetown: Scully's Apartment  
****23:45, Day 3**

"Do you want to come in?" Scully shyly asked at the taxi door

"Yeah sure", Mulder paid the taxi man and hopped out the car. They smiled nervously at the apartment block front door. Mulder tucked a stray hair round Scully's ear. She smiled and murmured a thank-you.

In Scully's apartment, she took hers and Mulder's jacket. She turned to face him; Mulder put his hands in his pocket. "So, no more crying?"

"No not at the moment" and rewarded him with her radiant smile.

_Argh, she was beautiful_. "No nausea?"

"No"

"No cravings?"

"Not of the food kind" she admitted, it was as if it were electricity running through her, hea pumping between er legs.

Mulder tried to suppress his smile but couldn't. He bridged the gap between him and Scully and moved in for a long passionate kiss, his hands massaging down from the back of her head to the small of her back. She was on her tip toes, her arms clung on to his neck. He moved his hands back to his waist and put his hands around her, he laughed, "someone has put on a little weight". Scully raised her left eyebrow but smiled. "I used to be able to put the length of my hands round your waist and now I can't"

"Well that's because I am pregnant", _maybe if I say it enough times it will eventually sink in_.

"Yes you are, are you sure its ok us doing this. I mean not kissing but you know…"

Scully pretended to look blank, "what?"

"Sex"

"Sex?" Scully pretended to sound shocked, instantly looked uneasy, wondering whether he had maybe misread her. She laughed at his reaction "yes its fine, we just have to go much slower than last time"

"That's fine with me. I mean, I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant"

Scully punched his arm, "that was your logic, the faster you do the deed the less likely you will get the girl pregnant. That is an old wives tale and so teenage".

"No" pretending to sound offended, "I just didn't want to give you time to come to your senses"

Scully tilted her head and rewarded him with a kiss, which deepened. After 5 minutes, Mulder eased them into her bedroom. This time, it was slow and sensual, they removed all of their clothing and explored each others body, discovered their weak spots that made them most frivolous. For Scully, the pregnancy had made her reaction to sensations quadruple, which of course meant Mulder's did too. They definitely gave her neighbours something to talk about. Scully fell asleep in Mulder's arms, breathing in his scent, sweat clung to their hair and bodies, Mulder moved one hand to Scully's unapparent baby bump. She squeezed his shoulder in her sleep; the baby would not disturb her tonight.

…

Mulder woke up the next day confused of his surroundings, realising where he was he closed his eyes again and allowed himself to take a relax full stretch, smiling from ear to ear. He searched the bed for Scully, opening his eyes he realised she was not there. He followed the sounds to Scully's bathroom; he tapped before entering, finding her naked and hugging the toilet bowl. "And how is Spooky Junior this morning?" She glowered at him, going in for another session. He picked up a face cloth, followed by her toothpaste and toothbrush. They laughed.

"Actually the baby is being anything but spooky this morning" she said flushing the toilet and accepting the face cloth. "The baby slept all through the night, and morning sickness has actually come in the morning."

"Because we gave it a good rocking last night", Scully took the tooth brush and paste from Mulder; he sobered.

"Actually Scully there is something I have been meaning to tell you for some time". Toothbrush in mouth, she raised both her eyebrows at him. "Do you remember that time when I left to have that 7:30pm meeting on a Friday night, when we were supposed to talk about the baby...?" She glared at him, "...yeah you remember, well it was this guy that has been helping me with leads on the X-Files. Don't ask me how he knew I was going to be at yours, I don't know myself but anyway he had a new lead for me and he also told me…"

"What is this guy's name?" she asked before she spat, rinsed and carried on brushing.

"Deep Throat, he is some top government guy, he was actually the one who had…"

Scully finished brushing her teeth. "Look Mulder" she interrupted "as much as I would love to talk about work on our day off – not! I am ready for another round, and you don't want to deny a pregnant woman her cravings" she moved on him to give him a kiss.

"Scully what I have to tell to you is really important, it's not about …"

"I – am – sure – it – is" she said in between kisses along his jaw line "and it will still be important when you tell me later" she moved her kisses to his collar bone, lower down his abdomen "but right now…". Mulder lunged at her. Scully let out a gleeful shriek and ran out of the bathroom, he chased her around her flat, finally catching her and drawing her in for a long kiss in the kitchen. They did made love three times; in the kitchen, living room and bathroom; each time ending in an eruptious climax, staring longingly into each others eyes before one of them folded and burst out with laughter.

…

Mulder had Scully's bathroom robe on, Scully wrapped in a regular towel joked that he looked like he was a female tennis player. He was watching her brush her hair after their round in the shower, he went over pretending to kiss her but instead ruffled up her hair. "Muulder!"

"I don't care what you say or use against me before we do any more exertions, you need to feed me woman and you probably need to feed that little boy too".

"Or girl" she said following him out of the bathroom and into the living room. "What are you looking for?"

"Where you keep the number for pizza".

"At 11:30am in the morning! Besides it will probably be quicker for us to make something".

"I have a better idea. How about I treat you and Spooky Junior to brunch?" She smiled; he was winning her over, "that way we can discuss what we are going to do with our two days off".

"Ahh, I'm sold".

"Great, and only for about $10" he made his way to pick up his clothes from her bedroom floor. Scully went over to sit on her bed near him.

"And Mulder" she ruffled his hair "just for the record, I don't blame you for what happened to the Gauguins, neither does Skinner, and neither do they. They told me to tell you that you are a good man" she ruffled his hair again. He breathed out a huge sigh, he thought he was going to cry.

"Thanks Dana, I…I really needed to hear that" he met her eyes "from you". She cupped his face in her hands and smiled at him. "One more thing Mulder" she reached behind her for a pillow "stop calling the baby spooky", she wacked him playfully around the head with it. And just like that she had lightened the mood, she kissed away all his worries, he lurched forward on top of her, causing her to coil into a fit of laughs, screams and giggles.

_**What are they going to do/ where are they going to go on their two days off? **_


	14. Chapter 14

_** Credit to my friend Peagreen for the chapter's title.**_

**CHAPTER 14: Loverbuoy**

**Sunday, Day 1, Falmouth Harbour, 11:30am.**

Yesterday over brunch, Mulder had told Scully she could choose anywhere to spend their short break, and he would pay all their expenses. She had joked the Caribbean, he asked which island. It wasn't until they had arrived at the airport later that day, packed, report dropped off, and the airport tiller was processing Mulder's credit card, did Scully realise he had taken her request seriously. "Fox Mulder, you do know how to make a girl weak at her knees" she had said and ornated his cheek with kisses.

…

Scully knelt on the double cabin bed next to Mulder's sleeping form; "Mulder…Mulder wake up", she placed chaste kisses on Mulder's ear. Scully was dressed and ready in her sun hat, shorts, flip flops, spaghetti top and a bag full on sun cream. "Mulder".

"Give me five more minutes", eyes remaining shut.

"No Mulder its 11:30am, and I have been waiting for you to get up for the past hour and a half", she whined; "now up!", in a more demanding voice.

"I'm sleep deprived Scully, a certain red head woke me up in the early hours this morning"

"8am is not the early hours of the morning, and secondly, I did not ask you to wake up"

"No you didn't, but you made damn sure that I did get up", he turned his face away from her. She got off the bed and pulled the sheets ofheh is naked body, before joining him the other side of the bed; she started poking his nose. Eyes still presuming sleep, Mulder grabbed her hand, "don't make it anymore bigger than it already is". Giving in, he breathed out a huge sigh and opened his eyes, he chuckled a little.

"What?"

"Nothing Scully, it's just that you look like a 5 year old waiting for her parents to take her to Disney land", he fully took in her form. "Why are you dressed?"

"Because we are going to explore the island" she removed one of his pillows.

He clung on to the remaining one and scoffed. "I thought the whole point of us going to this island of only 7 000 people and hiring a yacht in the middle of the ocean was to avoid human contact other than ourselves" he re-quoted her.

"Mulder we can't travel islanders way and not do some sightseeing"

"Yes we can" and turned his face away from her again. He groaned as she removed the last pillow. "Ok" but I am going to need some ammunition"

"We can get brunch on land"

"You ate all the sunflower seeds didn't you?

"No" she pouted, "the baby did"

"You can't always use that excuse you know"

…

20 minutes later they were off in the dinghy, Scully at the helm. That wasn't before they were entertained by the couple next door. The wife/girlfriend throwing all of her husband's/boyfriend's possessions overboard, while he frantically dived in the water after them. Mulder chucked a stray Walkman into the guy's dinghy, who held his hand up in appreciation. "Mulder" Scully lectured.

"What?" he asked defensively

"Can't you see how upset that woman is, he probably deserves it"

"And since when did you become such an excellent mind reader? She could be completely overreacting".

They bantered until they reached the restaurant and were viewing the menus.

**Last Lemming Restaurant  
****Day 1, 12:50.**

"Mulder stop ogling at that woman", Scully seethed, as the waitress left their table with their finished plates.

"I'm not ogling, I'm merely admiring her assets". Scully rolled her eyes. "If I tell you something, do you promise not to get offended", she shrugged her shoulders. "I can't wait for your breasts to get bigger". Scully shot Mulder a glare and slumped off in the direction of the bathroom. "What, I thought you would take it as a compliment" he called after her. He didn't know if he could deal with Scully's rampant and fluctuating teenage- like hormones anymore. Mulder walked over to the bar to pay their bill and find out where he could access the internet. There he met the same guy whose girlfriend had unlawfully chucked all his possessions in the sea. He looked pitiful; slunked over in his barstool, staring into an empty umbrella cocktail. "Buy you another drink?" Mulder offered; the man looked up with the start.

"Oh, you passed me my Walkman…thanks" he said in a French accent, over pronouncing his vowels.

"Us men have got to stick together eh?"

"Yeah" he laughed into his glass, but sobered quickly, he looked like he was going to cry.

"So what are you drinking?"

"I'll just have the same" he told the bartender. "Thanks…Clarissa, hammer throw extraordinaire who you met earlier; she emptied my wallet into the ocean". He drained the drink as soon as the bartender placed it in front of him. "Not that I didn't deserve it... …I got another woman pregnant while Clarissa was out working on charter"

"Ouch"

"Yeah, that's the other woman over there" he motioned to the woman Mulder had ogled at, who on cue started walking towards them, swaying her hips from side to side. "She's alright enough, but me and Clarissa have been together for three years now; we were engaged…I have fucked that all up now"

"Quite literally" Mulder tried to lighten this guy's mood

"Yeah" he let out a sad chuckle.

"...Mulder?" Scully said quietly.

"Jean, I'm on my break now, we can talk now"

"Yes" Jean said and slunked off with 'other woman", who flashed Mulder a smile as she left, Scully glared after her. "Thanks again for the drink " he called.

"Mulder?" He turned his attention fully on Scully, "what was that all about?"

Mulder left a $20 bill and enclosed Scully in one of his arms while guiding her towards their rental car. "You know Scully for once your assumption is correct. That guy really did deserve to have his things thrown out into the ocean. So where is our first stop?"

"A food market"

"Scully we just ate"

"The baby threw it up".

**Half Moon Bay  
****Day 1, 16:35**

It had only taken them a little over an hour and a half for them to drive around the island. Mulder drove whilst glancing fondly at Scully who would not stop poking her head out the window to breathe in the smells of the ocean, food and Caribbean life. He had warned her to be careful she didn't lose her head to one of those reckless island drivers, she had merely retorted that the baby liked it; he rolled his eyes; that was going to be her favourite phrase for the next 5 or so months.

Lying on an isolated beach in a green bikini, with her head propped on Mulder's stomach, reading 'Men are from Mars and Women from Venus', the ocean spray in her wake, Scully let out a sigh of contentment. Mulder was just as content with Scully lying on him, one hand resting on her sun hat and the other on her stomach, eyes closed listening to the sounds of the sea while the waves splashed against his feet. _Ah the simple life_. His zen was disturbed by Scully's sigh. He rubbed her sun hat in acknowledgement. "Bored?"

"Far from it" she put her book down and shifted so she lay in the pit of his left shoulder "I think I could stay here forever" she wrapped an arm across his front "how about you?"

"What join the island's ex-pat population...?" He mulled it in his head.

"…Yeah right the isolation would drive you crazy, but I didn't realise how much I missed living by the sea"

"You grew up near the ocean?"

"Yeah, in a navy base in San Diego"

"Oh", _yet another thing I did not know about the mother of my future child_. He started to fiddle with her necklace.

Scully had a similar thought process. "What about you?"

"Connecticut"

"Connecticut is a big state Mulder"

"You know what I want to know Scully, is a how a scientist such as yourself can believe in god"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean every day, science has break-throughs which contradict what are written in religious texts such as the bible; the big bang over the story of creation…or even take cloning"

"My family are devote Catholics Mulder, what can I say…what do you believe in?"

He leaned in to kiss her nose, "the truth". She gawfed and pulled him in for a long kiss. "You know we are the only ones on this beach" he said raising his eyebrows.

"No Mulder"

He chuckled and rubbed her stomach "We still haven't talked about this little thing between us"; she moved her hand to join his. "…they may not let us work together"

Her brow furrowed. "They don't need to know who the father is"

"But still", he lovingly circled her belly with a finger, "raising a child and working on the X-Files, they do not exactly go hand in hand do they?"

She didn't want to think about that. _We could make it work._

"Now my father…"

"You've told your father?", she brightened.

"No specifics, I told him about our situation. Because you know he…"

"Our situation", Scully snorted, "you make it sound so romantic", hoping he would interpret it as a joke and not annoyance.

"Yes well it was a brief conversation but I asked him because he was in a similar situation with my mother…"

"Your mother used to work for the FBI too?"

"No, but…"

"So your mother knows too?"

"No, they separated but that was beca…"

_Oh. _"…You know what Mulder, this baby is hungry" she laughed off her tears that were threatening to fall, "I'm going to find some food" she removed his hand from her stomach, got up and started to rub the sand off of her.

"Ahhh, watch it" he covered his eyes to stop the sand from going into them. "Scully….?"

"Muldeer", pulling on her shorts and top.

He shrugged his arms. "I thought you wanted to talk about this"

"Well I don't" she walked off in the direction of their parked rental. Mulder relayed their conversation, wondering what had happened, before he collected his stuff together and chased after her.

**Falmouth Harbour  
****19:00pm, Day 1**

Scully lay face down in their double cabin bed, she still had all her clothes on from earlier; she had passed out on the bed moments after they arrived back on the yacht. The journey home had been in relative silence, Scully still affected by the earlier conversation, and Mulder still wondering what he had said wrong to upset her._ Hormones_ he had concluded. They didn't stop for food, Scully deciding that she was no longer hungry. Mulder wasn't sure, but now with no internet, X-Files, TV or Scully, he was going stir crazy just listening to the sound of the waves. He placed a kiss on her shoulder before making his way to try and tackle the dinghy.

…

Scully was woken up by the sound of the Mulder starting the dinghy, she jumped to join him but was too late. She sighed and went to turn back in but felt eyes watching her. She spun around to the yacht anchored 40ms from theirs, she saw Clarissa staring straight back at her. Scully jumped and let out a huge gasp.

"I'm sorry" Clarissa apologised, I heard the engine of the dinghy go past and thought maybe it was my girlfriends or…"

_Jean,_ Scully thought. "It's ok" Scully cleared her throat "just shocked me a little is all"

""I see your husband left without you...do you want to join me round mine? It's better than sitting alone in that yacht"

Scully said yes for two reasons, one because Clarissa was right she didn't want to be alone on a yacht anchored in the middle of the Caribbean ocean, and two because she wanted to find out what Jean had done to make Clarissa act in such a way earlier this morning.

"Great, I'll just bring the dinghy round"

**Last Lemming Restaurant  
****19:45, Day 1**

Mulder arrived at the bar 30 minutes later, he and the water just did not mix. It had taken him 15 more minutes than Scully to reach land, and he'd almost crashed into about 3 stationary yachts on the way. It had then taken him an extra 7 minutes to convince himself that the dinghy was tied securely. He heard laughter from the other side of the marina and saw the faint outline of Jean, surrounded by some other guys. "Men" he said to himself and hurried over.

**Falmouth Harbour  
****19:55, Day 1**

A few of Clarissa's friends had later joined them, they seemed to Scully to be from all over the world, none of them accents she recognised as her own. "Are you sure I can't get you something a bit stronger then OJ Dana? Maybe some vodka?" asked Clarissa, the other girls cheered.

"No really I am fine with this"

"Are you on some kind of detox?" a lady with big blonde curly hair asked, "I tried doing a fruit juice one, which was supposed to last 3 days, I lasted 1", another round of cheers.

"No I'm pregnant"

"Far out! How many months?"

"Almost 4 ½ months"

"O la la, no" another friend interjected, "I hope I look like that at 4 ½ months; when you said you were pregnant, I thought maybe 2 months. Tu est magnifique"

"Haha I think I am at the stage where people just think I have been eating too much"

"And are you on holiday with the father?" she continued to pry.

"Yes…he has just popped out though", _although where he went? Mulder did not even bother to leave a note_.

"He is your husband?" she didn't pronounce the h, it came out as 'usband'. "…Sorry you must think I am incredibly rude, but I have just come back from a 3 week charter, where my only human contact really were a spoilt 1 and 3 year old. I need adult conversation and gossip"

"No its fine", _I'm never going to see this people again_; "he is my partner, I work with him and we got pregnant" she said almost shyly, her cheeks blushing; there was something about telling a room full of women that she accidently fell, which made her feel like the class clown.

"Girl" another friend, she sucked through her teeth "the same thing happened to me. We were on a six week charter, he was the most attractive man on the boat, let's just say we ran out of supplies. It was an accident, but my one year old is the best accident of my life"

Scully smiled at her gratefully, cheeks de-reddening; "and where is your child now?" she asked eagerly, "I mean while you are working?"

"Her daddy works on yachts too, so she stays here on this island with my mother. We visit her when we are off charters. It's not ideal but it works"

"And does he see her a lot, the father, does he see your daughter?"

"When he can. Of course when she is older, she will be able to move around a lot more easily. Anders, that's his name, he is from Holland and he wants to take Jasmine there to visit his family when she is old enough"

"And what about you?" the French lady steered the conversation back to Scully "Is it love?"

Scully reddened, Mulder and love had never been in the same thought process; they had never uttered the word to each other, even during sex. Scully shrugged in reply. "Lucky for some" Clarissa said downing the remainder of her wine, everyone sobered.

"I can't believe Jean would do that" the French friend declared.

"Girl" she sucked through her teeth again "it didn't have not'in to do with Jean, it was that witch Calista; I warned you about her. Her hobby is wrecking people's lives because her own love left her for another woman. Happens all the time, and the fact that you found one of her voodoo dolls in your luggage confirms it"

Scully did a little girl giggle, and found all eyes on her. "I'm sorry", she quickly apologised when she realised they were all deadly serious.

"Sweety" no teeth sucking, "you just better hope that man of yours stays clear of that witch, or you might find yourself on your own". Scully nodded uneasily.

Big blonde hair tried to lighten the mood, "Clarissa, you have to come out to the party tonight. That witch won't be there, I checked, she is working. Come on you have been at sea for two weeks, you need to have some fun. You too Dana, half a glass of wine won't affect you, you're in the Caribbean, it's a prerogative these Sunday hill top parties".

Both Scully and Clarissa looked at each other and smiled, they had caved.

**Shirley Heights  
****22:15, Day 1**

After spending 45 minutes at the other bar with Jean and his friends, it had taken Mulder 40 minutes to drunkenly make his way back to the rental yacht. The guys had invited him to the hill top party, they said they wouldn't leave until 10pm, which gave Mulder enough time to get Scully. However when he got back to the boat, three packets of instant macaroni cheese and a tub of cookies and cream in hand, to find Scully not there; he started to panic before his eyes graced the note she had left him, next door at Clarissa's. 10 minutes of drunken manoeuvring of the dinghy and he had found out there was no one on Clarissa's yacht. Really panicked now, he turbo charged to the dock in 10 minutes, where they had told him that she saw her with the girls making their way to the party.

"Hey calm down mon" one of Jean's friends said, "she'll be eyrie"

Not knowing what eyrie, Mulder just chuckled his previous fear off. _Although if you worked a couple or assignments on the X-Files, you would be just as worried if your partner went missing._

…

Mulder made certain to quickly find Scully soon after they arrived at the party; they only managed to exchange a smile and hello however before Mulder got out stared by the other women in Scully's party and returned to dwell with the other men on the opposite end of the venue. That didn't stop them from stealing glances off of each other, each wondering what the other was talking about. Scully also in disbelief that Mulder was holding several conversations, without any exchange of odd looks, he actually had them gripped; _almost normal_, Scully chuckled to herself. At 11pm the steel band had started to play slow dance melodies, or make out music, as that was what a few couples had started to do in the middle of the dance floor. The band started to drum a song that made Scully and Mulder look at each other at the same time, they shared a smile, but Scully got distracted by something one of her party members had said and entered back into the conversation. A couple of moments later she felt something tickle her elbow, she turned round to see Mulder smiling over her, "care to dance?"

**Falmouth Harbour  
****23:45, Day 1**

Scully let out a loud yawn as Mulder untied the dinghy, "this baby is a bit tired Mulder"

"Don't get tired just yet Scully, I need you to steer us back to the yacht, or you will be giving birth in this dinghy by the time I get us there"

Scully chuckled, you don't know how to steer a boat Mulder?" she was surprised "it's not that difficult you know. I'll coach you"

"Ok but first you gotta tell me whether I tied this right" he indicated to the knot.

She tugged it a bit "It looks secure, it looks really secure actually. How did you do this?"

"Here I'll show you", he signalled Scully to sit down and went to sit behind her, he moved in closer, she could feel something twitch against her upper thigh. She raised an eyebrow at Mulder, they both smiled. "Ok, so here is what you got to do", Mulder moulded Scully's hand as he taught her how to undo and retie the knot. Scully tried to focus, but found it hard to ignore the pulsating muscle against her, and what it would lead to later. It took her four attempts to master it.

…

15 minutes later they had arrived at the rental yacht, they only had one near collision and that was for Mulder's benefit to watch Scully squirm. "Mulder look at the stars" Scully stopped their descent into the hull of the boat. "You don't see stars like that back home in DC"

"No you don't. How about I bring our bedding up and we sleep under the stars"

"What if it rains?"

"Then it rains…here you wait here and I'll bring everything up"

…

Another 15 minutes later Mulder made his way up with the bedding. Followed by a tray loaded with food and drinks. He found Scully star-shaped on the mattress, staring up into the night sky, one hand resting on her stomach. "I was just about to come down at get you…what have you got there?"

"Dinner, when was the last time you ate?"

"I didn't know you knew how to cook?"

"Yeah, I just choose not to"

"What did you make?"

"Macaroni cheese from a packet"

"Mmmm nutritional", and then so as not to offend, "it's perfect Mulder", she helped him lay them both up.

"And, I have ice cream for dessert". Scully's eyes lit up.

"Look Mulder I am sorry I blew you off this afternoon"

Mulder raised his eyebrows, "did you? This afternoon or this morning because I am sure I would have remembered, and I am definitely sure I wouldn't have minded"

Scully blushed, "you know what I mean Mulder. I'm sorry that I got angry at you when you wanted to talk about the baby, it's just… can we just for one day pretend that it's not an issue"

_The baby is not an issue. But _he knew she meant how it affected their partnership. It was a subject that he didn't want to really discuss either, but it had to be. "Ok".

"But we will talk about it soon, I promise"; they smiled.

…

Mulder woke up early the next day feeling something beat against his lower abdomen, _just Scully's heart beating. But _then it made a sort of swirling movement, he frowned and opened his eyes. No Scully was laying right next to him. He looked down, they both had all their clothes on. He looked up to her sleeping face and smiled; they had fallen asleep while waiting for a shooting star; this was the first time he had woken up in bed next to Scully without them having sex the night before. It was a nice feeling to know their relationship could be more than physical. He watched her sleep for a while and removed a stray hair from her face, tucking it behind her ears.

Suddenly he felt it again, that weird swirling sensation against his stomach. He lifted the sheets, _maybe it's a bug_; he saw that both his and Scully's tops had risen up, so their stomachs looked almost connected. Unbeknownst to Mulder, Scully had done it in the middle of the night when the baby was active, so that it could feel the security of both its parents.

He felt it again! It was then he realised it was the baby. Mulder felt a tear form in the corner of his eye and was grinning from ear to ear; he wanted to crawl down to Scully's stomach and talk to it but at the same time he didn't want to wake Scully, he figured that it had probably kept her awake the majority of the night. He gently moved one of his hands to the top of Scully's abdomen and gently applied pressure with one of his fingers. Although it was unimaginable that his smile could get bigger, it did; he felt a small beat underneath his fingers. _My little kicker_. He removed his hands back on top of the bedding, he really did not want to wake Scully up. He stared for a long time into the face of the woman that had made him at that moment, the happiest man in the world.

…

He woke up only half an hour later, he couldn't help himself, he gently prodded Scully's stomach to see if the baby was awake, it wasn't. _It needs feeding_; and he carefully got out of bed and made his way to the dinghy. He used the paddle to start off with so the engine wouldn't wake Scully, it was in vain. "Mulder?", the loss of heat had woken her up. "Where are you going?"

"To get breakfast"

"Are you going back to the restaurant?" she knew logically it was stupid what the girls had told her about Calista last night...but still.

"No I was going to go to the little food market"

"Don't go back to the restaurant", tears threatened to fall.

Mulder nodded, sensing her uneasiness. "Ok I won't"

"Promise" she knew she was acting like a 5th grader.

"I promise" he laughed "now what do you want to eat?"

"Anything you make me will be perfect" he nodded, "apart from nothing to salty, or to sweet, or highly seasoned, or to dry…just get some bread, egg, cheese, onions and tomatoes; I'll make us an omelette" he nodded and started the engine "and Mulder"

"Yeeeess"

"Wholemeal bread please"

…

"Wow Mulder, you brought enough food to feed a whole army" Scully commented as she unpacked the shopping.

"Well you got a ninja inside of you" he leant against a kitchen counter and gazed lovingly at her stomach.

"Ah you felt the little monster" She began to chop the tomatoes and onions.

"Yeah it felt weird, amazing but weird. Does he keep you up most of the night?"

"No not really, after 6 months it will though. Mulder…", she manoeuvred the spatula under his chin to bring his eyea to hers "what are you going to do if this baby is a girl. I'm almost afraid to find out"

He smiled sheepishly, "boy or girl, whatever you pop out, I'll happily take", _give me a little girl that looks like you and she will be the most beautiful girl in the world. _They shared a moment, so much they wanted to say to each other; so much they wouldn't allow each other to say. She broke it as the onions reached her eyes.

"It's just the onions"

"Yeah their pretty strong", wiping a stray tear, "I'll lay up".

**Rendezvous Beach  
****14:30, Day 2, Day 1 of suspension.**

"Did you see that basket?...Scully, you're missing the game"

"Yes Mulder I saw it" she lied. Trust Mulder to have her cooped up in a bar when the beach was literally at their doorstep. They had joined Clarissa and Jean, and their friends on the exertion to a hidden beach that could only be reached by sea. Harry however had managed to set up a beachside bar, which also received cable TV and was playing the New York Knicks vs Miami Heat game, which of course Mulder had detected.

"Hey, look Scully he's going to shoot, watch him, number 47… slam dunk see I told you", the guys around her cheered. "Here Scully, have the other half of my burger"

"You have already made me eat two already Mulder. Both me and the baby are stuffed", she felt ill just watching him eat it. "Isn't it enough that I am going to have to squeeze out your giant form and oversized head" she muttered.

"Sorry, what did you say?", Mulder was too engrossed in the game.

"Nothing" she heard the girls' laughter in the background and glowered at them enjoying the sunshine, "you know Mulder, babies don't open their eyes until they are at least 6/7 months in the womb, so this game is wasted on it"

"Huh", Mulder was generally disheartened.

"Yeah well give it another few months" she hopped up to join the girls.

…

Clarissa and Jean had bought their water skis with them and Mulder was trying to convince Scully to give it a go. "No Mulder, I don't want to?"

"Why?"

"I just had a bad experience one time at summer camp when I was 12"

"12 years old Scully! That was donk…" he stopped not wanting to earn himself a scowl from her.

"12 is a very scaring age Mulder, my bikini bottoms fell down in front of everyone in camp"

"Well, what better way to conquer your fear". Scully shook her head, she was adamant. "Well will you do it if I go on with you?"

Scully raised both her eyebrows. "Only one person can wear a set of ski's Mulder, and you will be wrong if you think I will be doing a balancing act with you"

"Don't you trust me?"

"…it's not you I don't trust Mulder, it's the skis"

"Oki how about on a boogie board…come on Scull, live a little", he knew that comment would annoy her, and it did.

"Fine"

"She's agreed" she said out loud, the others cheered.

…

At 5:30pm they had started to build a bonfire on the beach, they were going to cook the fish they had caught earlier. Once Mulder had finished helping the guys build the fire, he thought that now would be a good time to leave, he wanted his last night here with Scully to be special and just the two of them. "Well we have to be heading off I am afraid", there was a chorus of protests.

"Do we?" Scully asked, who although not a resident, was loving the scandalous island gossip that the girls had fed her for the better part of the day.

"Yes we do, we have dinner reservations for 7pm. We need to shower and dress…"

"We do" Scully jumped up, conversation amidst in the back of her mind.

"Yep, so let's say our goodbyes now as our flight is early tomorrow afternoon".

Both Mulder and Scully were genuinely sad to say goodbye to their friends, which although they had only known for 24hours, they had let them enjoy a life and each other, in a way that was a far cry from the ones they had left in DC. They were both sombre as they sailed away from the scene of laughter, enjoyment, _the simple life_, they both thought.

**The Catamaran,  
****21:05, Day 2, Day 1 of suspension**

They had just enjoyed an exquisite meal of lobster, minimal wine for Scully and of course ice cream for dessert. They were now enjoying a stroll along the restaurant's beach; Mulder with his hand resting on the small of Scully's back, and Scully outstretching her arm across his back. It was a full moon, Scully paused, to take in the sight. "I don't want to go back tomorrow Mulder"

"I know what you mean". Scully breathed out a huge sigh, and then she did something that Mulder least expected her to do. She started peeling of her clothes. "What are you doing?"

"Going skinny dipping, you chicken?" He most certainly was not, he clothes piled on top of her and he plunged in after her. "The water is still so warm"

"What's this Scully?" he asked of the lights in the water

"What am I a marine biologist?"

"No" he lifted her in his arms "but you are amazing", he swished her in the water, glimmers of lights following her movement.

"It is extraordinary whatever it is" she said, playing her fingers though the water, not noticing his stare. He moved her in closer to him so they were basically chin to chin.

"You do know that Scully don't you, that you are amazing", she could see the seriousness in his face. He could feel all what he had wanted to tell her during this trip well up in this throat, all he felt about her and the baby.

"Your pretty amazing yourself Mulder...and normal! Take you away from the X-Files Mulder and I would take you as an average Joe"

"Well you are not yourself either Scully"

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"Well you're more childish"

"Childish Mulder?" she splashed him.

"It's not a bad thing Scully, it's nice to see you trust someone else, trust me; let me take care of you and not try to do everything by yourself. You would never let me do that back in DC"

"What you mean while we are at work, trying to convince our peers and executives that there is nothing going on between us" she said almost sarcastically trying to prove her point. But she knew what he meant, "I do know what you mean though Mulder, it's just hard for me to let someone else call the shots". She thought of Daniel, _especially when it had taken me so long to break out of that mind frame_. Mulder felt him losing her to her thoughts and brought her in closer, she snapped out of it and placed a passionate kiss on their lips.

**English Harbour  
****22:15, Day 2**

Driving back to their yacht from the restaurant, they passed by a basketball court, where a group of boys were playing. "Hey Scully, you want to drag this date out a little longer"

_Date we are on a date, _Scully mused, grinning_. _She shrugged, playing it cool.

"Great" he pulled over and hopped out the car, moving round to open her side of the car.

"Where are we going Mulder?"

"To play basketball, teach you how to throw a couple of hoops"

"But the court is occupied"

"Only half, and they are only using one of their balls"

"Ok", she wasn't convinced.

"Hey lanky" a boy called over to Mulder "want to play, make the game even"

"Actually I was just going to ask if I could borrow your spare ball, so I could teach my friend how to throw a couple of hoops" the boys looked Scully up and down, taking in her un-basketball like form, they were not convinced.

"Please, just 10 minutes"

"Deal" they shook on it. Scully took a seat next to a group of girls who couldn't be older then 15, the youngest looked about 3. Why they were out this late Scully didn't know.

She was surprised at how good Mulder was, not especially on the shooting, but he moved fast around the court and set up good baskets. After his game was over, he collected Scully and the spare ball and moved to the other side of the court. Not that he had to bother, the other game stopped as the kids went to watch this adult one on one, little vs large, male vs female. Mulder demonstrated a couple of shots, getting 7/10 in. He then stepped out of the way for Scully to try; he and the other kids were flabbergasted when they witnessed Scully get 10 consecutive shots in. The girls cheered. She smiled at Mulder's face, "didn't I tell you that I used to play basketball for my high school"

"No you missed that out" Mulder muttered, embarrassed.

"Well one on one?" The kids cheered.

They kept it PG up until the kids had left. Then teasing each other through their rugged tackles for the ball, applying great pressure on each others' pelvic regions, the stray hand getting tantalisingly lost across their chest and abdomens. Scully was dominating the game, because Mulder couldn't keep her eyes off her body and how much he just wanted to strip her naked and make love to her then and there. Every movement she did, he could picture her doing it naked. One of the tackles Mulder couldn't but help himself to steal a passionate kiss from Scully. She let the ball drop, the kiss had thrown her completely off sync and all she could picture was her lying naked on their bed and Mulder caressing her body with his sweet kisses. And so she lost the game by 3 points when she called it quits.

**Georgetown, Scully's Apartment.  
****21:25, Day 3, Day 2 of suspension.**

They had woken up late the next day, and only had 3 hours to get ready, fed and packed and arrive at the airport an hour before their departure. Themdrive to the airport was sombre; the couple thinking what they were leaving behind and the partnership they were going back to.

As soon as they arrived in DC, they both felt the change, the transformation back into their old lives. Mulder had dropped Scully off at her apartment, before making his way back to their basement office, to get up to speed with what they were going back to tomorrow.

Scully had just reached back from her mother's house, she had gone against her plan of telling her mother about the baby. Maggie had started talking about the beginnings of her and her father's relationship, hearing how traditional and well logically ordered their relationship had been, she couldn't bring herself to tell her about the product of hers and Mulder's whirlwind romance.

She heard a knock at the door. _Mulder?_ It was. They shared an awkward hug before she took his coat. "We have a new case, it's out of state, don't worry though we won't leave until late tomorrow afternoon", she nodded uneasily, "are you ok Scully?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess"

"Ok, I'll be off then"

"No" she stammered "please stay".

They fell asleep that night covered in a combination of hers and Mulder's sweat; her head tucked under his chin; his arms safely locking her in. _We are safe_, she lulled into a care free sleep, completely forgetting the doll that lay amongst her trash.

* * *

_**Ok so I have given you a very long insight into Sculders' lives may be like outside the X-Files, now back to reality with the next chapters.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_** Chapter 15 – is Scully bending under the pressure with herself, Mulder and baby to think of? Also, girls can be mean and so women even more…**_

**CHAPTER 15: Roland  
Spoiler Alert: Season 1, episode 23: ****Agents Mulder and Scully investigate a series of murders in Mahan Propulsion Laboratory as a team of scientists die one by one and the only suspect is a mentally handicapped cleaner named Roland. **

**FBI J Edgar Building  
Day 1, 10:30am**

Scully hurriedly made her way to the basement office, she was extremely late. Mulder had made her go for her overdue 4 month scan, and had managed to get the last minute 8:30am appointment. Leaving the medic room she found a message on her cell from Skinner, wondering whether she was going to make their 9am meeting. She cursed Mulder for his insistence; she hadn't seen the urgency, she was a doctor, she would know if something was wrong. The nurse had said that apart from being a little underweight, her baby girl was developing fine. _Underweight - Mulder is going to have a field day with that! _She decided for the sake of her waistline she was not tell him.

Stuck in traffic on her way to work, she realised her cell had ran out of battery. "Shit!", earning her a look from the taxi driver. "Sorry" she mumbled. She focussed on the scene of traffic outside her window in order to avoid his incriminating stare and rolled her eyes; she hadn't charged her cell phone last night because Mulder had diverted her attention. _Calm Dana, you've got this_.

…

"Dana?", Scully stopped mid-stride and turned to see who had called her name.

"Tricia, hi" she smiled and leaned in for a hug from her friend she did her FBI training with, she now worked in human resources. Scully's position before she got upgraded to work as a field agent for the X-Files. "It feels like ages since I last saw you"

"I know, us girls missed you on Friday, and the Friday before that. We haven't done lunch in a while either"

Scully laughed apologetically, "I know, I have been busy in the field"

"The perils of being a field agent ay" Scully heard the twinge of coldness in Tricia's voice, "anyway Dana you must come out with us this week, me and the girls we really miss you", she stuck out her bottom lip to add emphasis.

"Yes definitely one evening this weekend, I have a case this week but I'm hoping it won't run into the weekend. I miss you guys too"

"Yeah it's just not the same without our Tia Maria Dana"

Scully laughed, _well I may be sticking to the OJ now_. "Anyway Tricia, I am so late, I have to love you and leave you. If I can't make an evening, we should definitely do lunch", she hurried to catch the lift doors.

…

Scully found the basement office dark and empty, no Mulder, no Mulder's coat. She flicked the light switch and wondered if he was maybe playing a joke on her, poking her head around the adjoining side room, "Mulder". She went to scour his desk, and found his note on top of a case file:

'_Scully – couldn't get hold of you on your cell phone. I have booked a flight for myself on the midday flight to Washington, that's where our new assignment is, make it if you can. If not, get AD Skinner to book a later flight. See you at the airport in DC or in Washington'_

Below was the address. Scully let out a sigh of disappointment; she looked at her wrist watch, 10:45. Would she make it back to her apartment to pick up her overnight bag and then to the airport in 1hr and 15 minutes? _Probably not_. She sighed again and rubbed her temples, "for the sake of 2 hours Mulder, you couldn't just wait", she muttered to the empty room.

…

On her way out of the J Edgar building, Scully made a quick detour to the bathroom. She had apologised to AD Skinner for missing their meeting and asked him to schedule her on the flight that left an hour after Mulder's. Before exiting her toilet cubicle she heard a loud chorus of women enter the bathroom, each one fighting to talk over the other. Scully smiled, she recognised the voices, her FBI girlfriends, _I really must find time to meet up with them this week_.

"Oh my god" – _Tricia_, Scully recognised her friend's voice_. _"You never guess who got fat?"

"Who?", in chorus.

"Dana!"

There was a chorus of different responses, all of them genuinely shocked.

"Yep she's like the size of the house, well not yet but she will be soon if she carries on at the rate she is going", Scully's heart sank a bit, _have I really put on that much weight?_

"When did you see Dana? I haven't seen her in like forever" – _Holly._

"Running for the lift about half an hour ago, she said she had too much important work to do and had no time to talk"; _bitch, did I say that_.

"But that doesn't sound like Dana" – _Holly again_.

"I don't know. Dana's changed since she got promoted. I find she is way more snobby around us since, like she thinks that she is better than us. Today just proved it"

"Maybe her work is not all that she is late for" –_ Caroline. _

"What pregnant?" – _Rachel_. "Maybe it's hotty Spooky's"

"Well I wouldn't blame her, he is hot; weird but then I like weird guys, they're more interesting" – _Caroline._ "And he is so tall, which means he must…" they all giggled like teenagers. "Tricia, you should know, weren't you two really 'cosy' the summer of last year?"

"Girls, all I will say is that its true what they say about men with big feet, and Spooky Mulder has very big feet".  
Dana wanted to rip down her Tricia's cubicle door and punch her…and Mulder, even though she knew she had no grounds to.  
"But this is Dana Scully we are talking about, she'd be getting her leg over the A.D. not Spooky, getting her way to the top via opening her legs", Tricia could barely contain her laughter, the girls joined her outburst.

Feeding off Tricia's vibe and her story. "Yeah and she probably got herself pregnant, so she could use it as some sort of blackmail" - _R_achel.

"You know it" – Tricia.

"Well if in three years time, Dana is director, we will know the truth" – Rachel.

"Maybe we should all take a leaf out of Dana's book; it's not what you know but who you fuck", they cackled.

"Guys", Holly tried to speak over their laughter, "Dana's not like that, if she is pregnant maybe its Ethan's baby, you'll start nasty rumours"

"Think what you want Holly, but I personally would not be surprised" the other two murmured in agreement. They exited the bathroom, just as loudly as they entered it. It was only then that Scully realised she had been crying. These were supposed to be her friends, she felt sick in her stomach, _if you can't trust them, who can you trust. What are they going to say, what vicious rumours are they going to spread when they all realise I really am pregnant_. She was bubbling and looked up to the ceiling, trying to contain her tears and prevent an outburst. After a minute she had composed herself, _I have a job to do and Mulder is depending on me_. She grabbed some toilet roll and exited her cubicle. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, although minimal, her mascara had smudged. She washed her make-up off completely. She took in the top half of her reflection, _maybe I will change into my pant suit when I get home_.

**Happy Motel Inn, Seattle, Washington.  
Day 1, 20:30. **

Mulder followed Scully back into her motel room. After leaving the FBI regional HQ, they had stopped to get some food and discuss the case. As always their assumptions over the case were different and as always they had argued over it. But now, winding down for the night, they could shed their professional exteriors and pretence a couple. After he had locked her motel door, Mulder had pulled Scully into a passionate embrace and started to pull at her trouser belt. "Mulder" she stopped him.

"What?"

"I'm tired" she lied "I want to sleep alone tonight, so I can catch up on my energy"

He took a step away from her, "…well I'll see you in the morning"; he paused at her motel door. "Are you ok?"

"If I get my full 9 hours sleep I will be" she gave him a small smile.

"Ok, goodnight". She locked the door after him, and slumped on the bed. She turned on the TV, Sleepless in Seattle, _of course. _She muted the volume, and tried to rub the day off her face. Case aside, this morning and their trip had made her realise she had some personal decisions to make, and the sooner she made them, the easier it would be on her.

**Georgetown, Scully's apartment.  
Day 6, 18:45**

They hadn't made it back for the weekend. Scully hadn't been able to have those long awaited drinks with the girls, not that she had plans to after that conversation she witnessed. They had arrived back in DC that afternoon but went back to the office to write up their reports. Mulder was expected round in a few minutes with dinner, they were going to talk about the baby, no interruptions. She knew Mulder would not be pleased with her decisions. Her mind flashed on their earlier case, and Roland; she wondered what she would do if her own child was autistic, whether she would be able to cope, to juggle everything. She was highly impressed at how good Mulder was with Roland...  
Her thoughts were disturbed by the knock at her door.

…

Scully toyed with her sweet and sour chicken with her chopsticks, while aimlessly watching Mulder devour the rest of his satay duck and noodles. They had eaten in almost silence. Scully wasn't surprised, they had been distant since she refused to sleep with him that night, and then the next night, the night after that and so on. "It hurts at the moment" she had lied, knowing that it would deter his advancements. But Mulder suspected it was something else, he didn't want to push her though.  
What Tricia and the other girls had said affected Scully more than she would like to admit; those nights where she laid alone mulling over what she was going to do, she felt every scenario possible had come to her head. She had even considered going back to California to be with Daniel and becoming a doctor again. She was too proud for that though, she was going to succeed in the FBI.

"So Mulder", she couldn't take the anticipation any longer, she had rehearsed her speech millions of times and wanted to get it out.

"Hmm" he looked up, slightly shocked that the silence had been disturbed, and his eating. Scully laid the takeaway box on the coffee table, Mulder followed suit. _She is ready to talk._

"So, I have decided that we are going to make this work. And that we are going to do it by us, number 1, terminating our relationship, to avoid suspicion. Number 2, I am not going to say that this baby is Ethan's, it could grt back to him. Number 3, I guess I will probably have a month off in total; you will be assigned a temporary partner. And number 4, when I am back at work, the baby will go to the FBI crèche, or stay with my mother, ditto when we are away on cases". She rested her hands on her thighs and avoided his gaze.

"Ok…but when do I get to see the baby?"

She had given him the scan when they had met in Colson but wasn't yet going to tell him that she had found out the sex, only that it was healthy; she thought that it would make it easier on him…? _On me...? On the both of us...? ...just until wet used to this new arrangement._  
"I thought you wanted me to pretend this baby wasn't yours?" she said matter of factly.

_Hm._

That hurt him and she know it would; she knew that he had thought differently towards the baby now. "...I guess weekends will be the easiest, but you can see the baby whenever you want to see it"

"Visiting hours aside, what if something happens to you on one of the cases?"

"Then something happens Mulder, I could just as easily get knocked over by the car crossing the road, or a ..."

"...Scully just here me out" he rested a hand on her thigh. "My dad stillnhas his house in Potomac. It will be a much better environment to raise a child... I'm not expecting to live there with you but I could visit you guys…"

"Mulder why don't you live in the mansion in Maryland, and me and the baby will come visit you", she said flatly.

_?!_ "Fine! Turn down my offer but Scully I really don't want you…"

"Want!" she stoinher him her anger. "What you want me to do… Mulder don't think that just because you got me pregnant you have some kind of control over me…"

"I don't think th…"

"… because what I want from life, what I want to achieve, and how I go about them. I dictate, I decide"

"I know you decide, Scully but don't you think…"

"No Mulder, I don't think because I have decided and I have spoken, this baby is imside me, and it is you to accept my decision"

"Scully please, just here me out, they are on to us", Mulder clasped one of her hands in both of his.

Scully rolled her eyes, disentangled her hand from his. She angrily started clearing up their food, not caring that Mulder hadn't finished. "They who are they, who are you talking about?" she jabbed at the containers.

They – before collecting their food, Mulder had again met up with Deep Throat, he had given him information about a possible government conspiracy into off the record cloning projects. He had also asked Mulder whether he and Scully had enjoyed their short vacation to the Caribbean. Mulder had stopped dead, it had taken a while for his heart to start re-beating. "Passports are not for just getting in and out of a country – trust no one Mr Mulder".

"You know what Mulder" - before he could reply; "I don't want to know", dropping everything in her hands. "This is my personal time and I do not have to listen to your paranormal ramblings. Please just get out of my apartment"; Mulder didn't move "GET OUT!", she rested a hand on her temple.  
He moved to pick up his jacket and paused at the door.  
Scully had felt faint after shouting and sat back on the sofa.  
Mulder stole a look at her, she had one hand massaging her temple and the other over her stomach; he didn't want to push her any more – for now.

He said calmly; "Scully I know I can't dictate your life, and your right, what you decide is final. But if you do or could ever trust me, trust me now. Someone is on to us and I don't know what the interest is…but it worries me". On that he closed the door and left her apartment block.


	16. The Erlenmeyer Flask

**CHAPTER 16: The Erlenmeyer Flask  
Spoiler Alert: S1E24: A seemingly unrelated car chase leads Mulder and Scully to a scientific lab encompassing a secret which could provide proof of a government conspiracy**

**J Edgar Building: Basement Office  
Day 2, Monday May 9th 1994, 07:30am  
Following Deep Throats conversation last night.**

Walking into the office, Scully was surprised to find it both open and the lights on; but then she spotted Mulder face down on his desk. A wave panic flushed through her, but relaxed when she heard that knowing faint snore of Mulder sleeping.  
She analysed the room. Empty Chinese takeaway boxes, the smell made her queasy? The TV was static, whatever he was watching had long finished.  
She rolled her eyes, _I can only guess._  
"Did the Mrs kick you out of the house last night Mulder when she caught you watching porn for the umpteenth time" she bellowed, making him wake up with a start.

He looked alert, and then softened when he realised it was her. When he properly registered it was her, his stomach sank. After last night's conversation he had hoped that she had taken his words seriously,_ clearly she hadn't_.

"… because I am not especially keen on it either"

"I was not watching porn Scully" he said matter-of-factly, swiping his empty takeaway into the office bin. He stood. "Good-morning". Cold. "I didn't expect to see you this morning".

"Good morning". Even colder. "…and why not, the weekday begins on Monday Mulder, even if you have me working through till Sunday", ignoring his gaze, she collected a file from the adjoining room before seating. "I wanted to proof read my report before I handed it to Skinner…why are you here so early?"

He chewed the inside of his mouth, contemplating whether he should bring up the topic of last night's argument again; but the truth was he needed her help. Removing himself from his stature pose, he walked over to rewind the tape. "I got a call from Deep Throat last night, new lead"  
He could feel her eye roll from behind him.

"Oh yeah, what did he say", trying to sound open.

"Something on this tape, but I haven't managed to figure it out yet, I could use your help". He turned his neck around to see her reaction.  
Her smiled confirmed it, forgetting Skinner's report, she scooched her chair next to Mulder in front of the TV set.

* * *

**En-route to crime scene  
Day 2, 14:30**

After 10 hours and no leads from the TV clip. They were en-route to the crime scene, to get a proper understanding of how this body had just dissapeared, and hopefully work out why Deep Throat bought this case to their attention.

In the car, Mulder let out a deep sigh which he drew out for a good 5 seconds.  
This was his 15th in the 10 minutes since they had entered the car, and Scully's temper was brimming overload. She knew what he was doing, he was antagonising her so she would bring up last night's argument, to convince her against what she had already decided on.  
When he let out the 16th one, she couldn't take it any longer. In the most even tone she could manage, "I know the set up is not ideal but it will work, and when the baby gets older and is more mobile, you will get to see her more".

Mulder wasn't going to allow her to dismiss his decision without a fight, even if it meant deliberately hurting her with his words.  
"Scully all I am saying is to think about someone other than yourself and your career. Think about the baby"

"Are you calling me selfish" it was more a statement than a question, which she did not give Mulder time to reply to, "how dare you call me selfish, you have no right…"

"I hear your phone calls to Skinner, your little 'updates' throughout our cases, You are kissing ass"

"No Mulder, what I am trying to do is to prevent us from getting out of the job because Your hair brained ideas get us into trouble every minute. I am so 'selfishly' trying to keep our jobs, so that we can provide for our daughter, and so that she may have a good life"

"I told you don't have to worry about that…"

"That's not the point", she was exhausted at having to have this conversation with him again, and to justify herself to him, again!

Something clicked in Mulder's head, "wait a minute, you said she, you specifically said daughter", he momentarily took his eyes off the road to search Scully's face.  
"You told me you didn't find out the sex… You found out the sex and didn't tell me?"  
Scully went crimson.  
"Un-fucking-believable", Mulder threw his hands up off the steering wheel "What are we even doing Scully… what are we getting this child into…"  
She suddenly shot a hand to her stomach.  
"What happened!", quickly manoeuvring the car off the road; nearby cars' horns had a field day.

"Nothing Mulder" this argument was making her head pound, she pinched the top of her nose in an attempt to mellow it. "She just kicked, HARD. It's probably because she's just as impatient as I am of hearing your constant contradictions". On not hearing a retort from him she used it as a prompt. "One moment you want in with the baby, next moment your sending me to …Chicken, Alaska or wherever, to bring the baby up with the Inuits".  
She could feel her temper boiling, she tried to control it, not wanting to have a similar near-fainting episode as last night.  
"You need to make up your mind. Admit the truth, that you don't want this baby any more than I do!"_ Huh! A_ hand flew over her mouth; they were both taken back by what she had said. "…prepared, that we are not prepared for this baby" she tried to correct.  
But she couldn't correct it, the damage had already been done. Mulder pulled the car back on to the highway and they continued to drive in deathly silence.  
Ten minutes passed between them..  
"Mulder…"

"…Scully don't. You were angry, we have a whole day of work ahead of us, I was wrong to bring up our personal affairs while we are work…let's just forget it"

She took in one final gasp to steady herself. "Ok" and adjusted back into professional mode.

* * *

**Georgetown University Medical Centre  
Day 6, 11:00.  
(Takes place after episode ending)**

"With all due respect sir, this is unnecessary and a waste of the tax payers money", Mulder addressed Skinner despite his eyes being bandaged from the chemical they sprayed on his eyes.  
Skinner stood towering over Mulder's hospital bed in a hazmat suit. "No Agent Mulder, what wastes the tax payers' money, is your gallivanting and excessive expenditures searching for things that do not exist. And what's more is that you drag Agent Scully into it too"

_Scully_, he'd forgotten to ask about her in all the hecticness that had happened in the 8 hours since she had made the exchange. "Scully, how is she?"

"Agent Scully is also under quarantine, she was exposed to you, and so has to go through the same procedure as you…I assume you knew about her pregnancy…?", Mulder paused for a moment before shaking his head. Because his eyes were bandaged, Skinner couldn't interpret whether he was lying or not. "Well she is, over 5 months, as you can imagine behaviour such as was performed last night cannot be conducted. Agent Scully cannot be running to save your ass, when she has more important things to worry about"

"Yes sir I understand", he bowed his head, "I didn't realise…I will be more cautious with my actions".

"Be sure you do Agent Mulder".

Mulder heard Skinner's footsteps retreat, he had pulled it off.  
Or had he?  
He could only hope.

…

They had been under quarantine for almost two weeks. Mulder's eyes had for the most part healed, and they were both deemed to be no longer carrying a communicable disease that would spread and infect the American population.  
Scully suppressed the urge to hug Mulder when she saw him, and that he was ok; and from the look on his face, he was having the same problem.  
They dutifully walked side by side out of the hospital and to the taxi stand. They walked in silence, they stood in silence.  
Mulder opened the car door for Scully before going round to enter from the other side.  
"Georgetown please"  
After they pulled away, Scully lurched forward to hug Mulder.

"Mulder I tried to see you but they wouldn't let me…"

"I know" he turned to check that no one was looking.

She broke from their embrace and traced over the length of one of his eyes with her thumbs.  
"I was so worried about you. What happened? Do you remember?"

Mulder felt the stare from the taxi driver who was looking at them through his rear view mirror.

"No" he lied, "excuse me, can we pull over here please sir" he asked the taxi driver.

"Mulder…?" Scully whispered.

"Just trust me" he whispered back.  
She followed him out of the car to a bench where he sat near the dock. He looked up at her standing over him, "we have to be more careful about what we say and who may be listening".  
She nodded and took a seat next to him.  
They sat for a while in silence.  
She reached for his hand and placed it in hers.  
He tore his eyes away from the view to look at her. "So you're ok?"

"Yes I'm ok" she returned his smile.

"I can see that", moving his eyes down to her swollen stomach. "5 months and one week. I've had a lot of time to think about it"

"Yes, well being on bed arrest and having someone make sure you consume giant sized three course meals three times a day will do that to you"

"Really and I thought the portions were more petite red head sized" he joked, she laughed.  
There was silence again.  
"They did it on purpose you know Scully"  
She looked up at him questionably, so much had happened in the last three weeks.  
"They put us under quarantine; so it would give them time to clean up. To remove any traces of evidence.  
Silence.

Scully broke it.  
She removed his hands from his and stared into them.  
"You know Mulder, I am thinking of leaving?"

"The bureau?" He didn't sound shocked, as if he was expecting her to say it.

"Maybe just the X-Files. I can't…"

"Don't...you don't have to explain, I understand"

"What about you?"  
Removing her gaze from her palms to him. Hopeful. She wanted him to leave with her and let it all be a black mark on their resumes.

"You know me Scully. I'm going to hang in there a bit longer. There is still Samantha…I'm going to go down to visit that office I call home after this. Get out the feather duster, make out with some of the files"

She laughed and gave him a quizzical look. He knew how to make her laugh. "Will I see you this evening?"

"With bells on my toes"

* * *

**Georgetown, Scully's apartment  
Day 18, 22:55**

It was nearing 11pm but Scully couldn't sleep. She couldn't get the image of Mulder face down on the concrete, his swollen eyes, raw red and blistered from whatever they had sprayed against his eyes. Yes it had healed but still, what they were willing to do, to protect… to protect what? She thought how many peoples' lives had been lost in that short period of time; _Deep Throat, Dr Berubi, Dr Sicard , Dr Carpenter and her family, nearly Mulder._

She turned to faced the window.  
_Where is Mulder, he should have been here by now. __Had Mulder seen what he claimed to have seen?_ It had seemed preposterous at first, but there was evidence, scientific evidence that had been killed for. She couldn't believe her eyes when she held the frozen alien embryo, but then she also couldn't deny what was in front of her.

She turned to face the phone.  
_… was it all just a hoax?_  
_"Trust no one"_, that's what Deep Throat had told her as he took his lasts breaths. _Trust no one – even Mulder?_.

Turning back to the window.  
She wanted out; away from the people who would ruthlessly murder anyone and their family members who stood in their way. Even those who didn't, she recalled Deep Throat telling her about the practice inoculation of the alien fluid on those innocent children. Her own child was innocent.

Back to facing the phone.  
Scully let her hand move down to the swelling on her lower stomach. She disheartened a little when she remembered her and Mulder's earlier argument; what she had said. She moved another hand to join her bump and hugged it lovingly. She rubbed a thumb against her stomach. "Baby girl? Mommy's sorry for what she said"; she felt a faint beating. Scully smiled at her daughter's acknowledgment of her voice; she was sure that she recognised Mulder's voice too and was why she kicked her so hard when they were arguing. "…yes I am very sorry, I didn't mean it. Even though I haven't met you yet, I love you so very much already and you are going to be the most beautiful thing in mine and your daddy's life, because he also loves you very much too" That earned her another few faint kicks, she smiled. "Yes he does". She placed a kiss on her fingertips before placing them on her belly.  
Scully promised herself that for the sake of the child, she would now only remain positive about her pregnancy; and, that she will stop arguing with Mulder.  
She let out a deep sigh. Now she could sleep.

…

Scully woke up with a start, her house phone; she glanced at her bedside clock, 11:22, 17 minutes of sleep.  
"Mulder where are you? …

…

15 minutes after Mulder had hung up, Scully was still buzzing, wide awake over what he had said. The X-Files had been shut down and they were being reassigned. Mulder had said that he would continue looking for the truth, _but what about our baby_. She reached over for her cell phone.  
He picked up on the second ring.

"Scully?"

"Yeah it's me"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I just wanted you to know that you can still come over if you like. I'm awake".

Mulder let out a deep sigh. "Scully we shouldn't be seen together, especially now that we are not partners. It's too dangerous, they are too dangerous"

"But we're no longer on the X-Files"

"That might not matter…"

"But…"

"…They know about the baby Scully"  
There was silence from her end.  
"Skinner asked me if I knew. I played it dumb. I guess they found out while you were under quarantine; I don't know. But if he knows, who else knows, who will he tell. What do we really know about Skinner, is he someone we can trust"

_There is that word again, trust, _she thought._  
_

"…It's me, that's why I have to distance myself from you. I can't risk anything happening to you and I definitely can't risk anything happening to the baby. Silence. "Scully?"

"Yes" she croaked.

"You also shouldn't call me, they could tap into our conversation…Just try and forget me…at least for a while".  
She heard the dial tone.  
She rested her cell phone back on her dresser.

_How can I forget you, there will always be something here to remind me._  
She hugged her bump with her hands.


	17. Little Green Men

**CHAPTER 17: Little Green Men**

**Spoiler Alert, Season 2 episode 1: With the X-Files shut down, Mulder finds his own belief in the truth waning. He goes alone to an abandoned SETI program site—Arecibo Observatory—in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. Concerned for his safety, Scully has to track down his whereabouts before someone or something else does**

**Georgetown: Scully's Apartment  
Day 2, Tuesday, 22:50  
**

"...Hello?

"Mom its Dana"

"Dana it's awfully late, what time is it". She heard the rattling of objects as Maggie tried to find the clock on her bed side table "Dana it's almost 11"

"I know its late mom but I was calling to tell you that I won't be able to go late night shopping with you and Missy on Thursday evening"

She heard a long loud sigh on the other end of the phone. She had expected that response...  
She had called by her mom's a few days ago and had told her A, that she was moving jobs and B, over 5 months pregnant. Maggie had been delighted to hear that Scully was no longer on the X-Files. When she told her mom about the baby, Scully was worried that she was going to have to give her mother emergency CPR. She was so happy and excited, screaming with delight that she didn't even care when Scully had told her that she wasn't currently with the father: "That doesn't matter Dana, all that matters at this moment is you and your baby".

It wasn't the reaction that Scully had expected, and she felt guilty for not trusting her mother and telling her earlier. "What about Ahab?".

"Dana your father would have been over the moon, proud about the way you were approaching this. 'Not letting a few winds and waves deter you from getting from your destination' "; Dana smiled, as always her mom was right, she could just imagine him saying it.

Her sister Missy's had given a classic 'Missy' response when she told her over dinner at Maggie's. She said that she had been "feeling vibes that something like this was going to happen to Dana"; Scully's and her mother's eyes had met and orbited, eyebrows raised high on hearing this, trying to stop themselves bursting out with laughter.  
Her brother Charlie didn't really have an opinion, as long as she was happy; then he was happy.  
The only one that was not over the moon with her news was her brother Bill, but then like her other siblings, Scully had expected that response. The eldest of Maggie and Bill Scully Sr.' children, Bill had always thought that he was in charge of his younger siblings and it was his job to make sure they didn't act out of line. Since Bill Sr. had died he had worsened, self-electing himself as the head of the Scully family. Dana getting pregnant out of wedlock, with a man that she was not even engaged to or in a real relationship with, was out of line. Scully didn't really care; Bill had always been an arrogant dickhead 90% of the time...

"I know you were looking forward to this…" Scully started to apologise

"I had told all the girls in the shop" she snapped.

"Mom you can still go without me…" she knew she had made mistake before she said it.

"Dana, this was supposed to be my ever first shopping trip for my first grandchild. I stopped myself from entering any baby shops or buying anything because I wanted our first trip to be special"

"We'll see mom, maybe I can make it" she was feeling guilty

"Well why can't you make it anyway, what could possibly be more important…"

"I have to go to San Juan to get Mulder" she had said it before she realised, and mentally kicked herself.

"San Juan? Mulder?" Maggie didn't know that Mulder was the baby's father or anything about his and Scully's personal relationship. Just that he was her daughter's EX-work partner and kept away at work most weekends. "Dana you told me you were off the X-Files, and that you were now, quite sensibly I may add for a future mom, working as a pathologist for the FBI"

"I know mom, something came up. I should be back for Thursday evening though. It's just in case things overrun"

"Oh I don't know Dana, I don't think someone in your condition…"

"Mom I will be working up until I am over 8 months pregnant, this is nothing" and before her mother replied, she faked a yawn down the line. "Anyway getting late, baby is tired, hopefully see you Thursday, love you" and she put the phone down before Maggie could get another word in.

**J Edgar Building  
Day 4, Thursday, 16:00  
Follows after Skinner dismisses CSM.**

Skinner had just dismissed him from the office, him, not Mulder. He felt like he had been slapped in the face. He placed his cigarette on Skinner's secretary's desk, unfazed by her shocked expression, he paused to light another one. Taking in a long drag he calmly walked out onto the corridor and towards the lift. He outstared a man who tried to enter the same lift as him; the man, backing out, decided to wait for the next lift. _Wise choice_. CSM took in a long drag of his cigarette as the lift door closed. He pressed button 42, the top floor.

The elevator chimed and CSM exited the lift, heading to the office at the end of the corridor. He ignored the secretary protests and walked in without knocking. "We may have lost Skinner"

Division Chief Scott Blevin's did not look up from his papers, he stamped and signed several copies before registering CSM. "These are the papers to confirm the go-ahead in Addis Ababa". CSM nodded taking a seat opposite Blevins.

"How many test subjects?"

"20 for the moment, it may increase with success"

"Disposable"

"Of course". CSM nodded, extinguishing his cigarette and reaching for another. "How did we lose Skinner?"

"Mulder had somehow discovered that we were tapping his telephone line. Skinner was not impressed. It's only a minor setback of course", he blew out a long puff of smoke, "we have other ways to access Mulder"

"Although we will no longer have control over his whereabouts and his cases"

"I said I will keep Mulder in check, and I will"

Blevin's was not convinced, he gathered the papers up in a pile and set them aside. "What about his partner, Agent Sully is it, is she still feeding us reports?"

"Agent Scully, she is, but of course we no longer have access to them. But she will be important to us in other ways". Blevin's took off his spectacles, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, he was eager to discover how this was so. "She is carrying Mulder's baby, a girl, I had our doctors confirm it while they were under quarantine. Their baby will be useful in continuing the original experiments we did on Samantha Mulder"

"When?"

"Soon"

"What about Mulder? Obviously removing him from the X-Files has not stopped his meddling. I got a phone call today from our friend in New York about his presence in Arecibo. He needs to be controlled more, that stint that he and his partner got into three weeks ago was too close. Now we exterminated his contact, but he appears to have another. Do you think its Mulder?"

"Bill Mulder learnt the hard way with his daughter what happens when you fight the future, he wouldn't make the same mistake with his son. As his own son will soon learn. The information that Mulder found in Arecibo has been compromised, he won't find anything. A new partner will be assigned to him following Agent Scully's…disappearance"

"…One I hope he will not be able to coax under his charm"

"I told you, the baby will be very useful to us"

"And I guess this was all part of your plan" Blevin's scoffed.

CSM extinguished, "Of course" he put another cigarette in his hand and lit it.

"And Agent Scully?"

CSM puffed out a large cloud of smoke, "dispensable"

Blevins nodded in agreement. "So who do you think is helping him?"

"Senator Mattherson, but he is our ally"

Blevin's nodded again, and leaned off the back of his chair, he was satisfied. "Until the next meeting". Repositioning his glasses back on his face and moving another pile of forms in front of him.

"Until the next" CSM walked over to the office door "and Blevins it's up to you now to keep a check on Skinner, should he say, get to close to Mulder's quest.

**Longstreet Motel, Washington DC.**  
**Day 4, Thursday, 18:00.  
5 minutes before final scene.**

Scully watched Mulder's face as he set up the tape recorder so he could replay to her his breakthrough. Something had been bugging her since she left DC. "You know Mulder I went to your apartment when I didn't know where you were and I listened to your messages...". She waited for him to respond but he continued setting up the appliance. She passed him one of the reels, failing to get him to make eye contact with her. "...Tricia Jackson had left a message on your phone". Mulder flinched a bit but continued setting up the apparatus; he hung the headphones round his neck. "Look it's not my business what you do but I just wanted you to know that she was one of the people that followed me to the airport, that wig wasn't fooling anyone"

Mulder smiled. "Nothing happened Scully, we had a thing long, before you entered the scene; her desk is now near mine; she said we should get coffee, no biggie…"

_Tramp_

"…I said ok but then I got called away to Puerto Rico, and stood her up" he glanced up ather, he knew that last bit would make her smile.

"I'm just looking out for your own back, that tramp can't be trusted…sorry hormones".

He smiled and pressed play on the tape recorder. They listened to white noise for about 30 seconds, Mulder fiddled with the controls, making sure it was rewound. It produced the same response. "It should be right here…(fiddles), the entire tape is blank…(fiddles again)…"

"You know the electrical surge in the outlet during the storm may have wiped the tape", Scully offered, "...you still have nothing", _apart from me and the baby_...

"I might not have the X-files Scully but I still have work…I still have you"

_Yes._ Scully inwardly perked up.

_Even though they tried to take you away from me, _Mulder thought "...and I still have myself"

Mulder played the wire-tap tape, to continue Skinner's assigned menial investigation work. Scully comforted his hand with her own, _keep hanging in there Mulder_, then got up, she had to go meet her mother and sister. She allowed herself when final glance at him and shut the door behind her.


	18. One Breath

_**Final results and first ever driving lesson next week, argh! A bit of Sculder romance, to put my mind off of it. **_

**CHAPTER 18  
One Breath: ****When Scully mysteriously re-appears comatose in a hospital, Mulder drives himself crazy trying to find the people responsible. **

**Georgetown: Scully's apartment.  
Saturday, 09:30am  
A week and a half before Scully's abduction.**

"Mulder…?"  
She didn't expect to see him outside her front door, she couldn't even count on one hand the amount of times she had seen or talked to him since their conversation last week in the parking garage, and then it had really been over matters of work. _You miss him._ The door was only partially open as she was showering when her door buzzer went. She tugged on the towel to make sure it was secure.  
_Miss you or not. I'm not going to let you in without an explanation_.  
He'd been running, taking in his form which was recuperating against the door frame; cap on, shorts and a very ripped and faded Oxford jumper, his breathing haggard as he tried to answer her.

"I went for a run... and before I knew it...I realised I was running to you".

_Oh_! "You ran here all the way from your apartment?"

"Yeah", he puffed, "…I think I have a stitch", massaging his left side.

"Mulder…I"  
She didn't know what to say; and was sure that she had physically melted in front of him because of his words. She made sure again that her towel was secure.  
"Come in, I'll see if I have something you can rub on that".

Mulder tugged her into an embrace.  
"Wait".  
Scully couldn't resist him, she captured a sniff of his scent, her favourite perfume. She felt his breath hot and heavy on the bridge of her nose, it was even more haggard now. She moved her head up slightly, so she was eye level with his chest. "I have missed you so much"; heavier and hotter down her face.  
She slowly arched her head up, his lips hovered over hers, he stole it bringing them into a long sensuous kiss. His tongue forced entry, she dug her nails into his arms so that she could steady herself. This only caused Mulder to deepen his kiss. She had to use both hands to steady herself. He released their red and swollen mouths, placing his arms either side of her.  
"I can't… I miss you so much" he placed hard kisses along her jaw line and top of her neck, each one leaving a lasting scarlet mark on her skin.

Scully lolled her head back and let out a small groan.  
_I miss you too._

Mulder softened and moved his kisses back up to Scully's lips. He rested his forehead on hers, placing a few more on the tip of her nose. "So much"

"Me too"

"I tried ignoring you…".  
Scully silenced him with a kiss.  
They stared eye to eye for a few moments, Mulder placing a few more small kisses on her nose before breaking contact. He moved his hands to the brim of Scully's towel, his eyes requested permission to open it. He slowly opened her towel before soaking in her form, making note of each curve that had changed.  
Scully watched his eyes in anticipation, heat pumped through her whole entire body. She watched his eyes linger on her breasts, which had gone up two sizes in three weeks, her nipples instantly became more hard and erect with his gaze. Mulder had to fight off strong urges. He placed his thumb at the base of her lips and slowly moved it down to the base of her bump, she salivated at his touch.  
Scully watched as his eyes fell on her bump.  
Mulder fell on to his knees to hug her bump, placing a few kisses on it. Scully wrapped her arms around his neck. They stayed in this position for a few minutes before Mulder stood up, "you're beautiful", and picked Scully up in his arms.

"No Mulder" Scully said annoyed, "I'm too heavy"

"You'll never be too heavy for me". He lowered her onto her bed and boxed her in his form.  
Their soft sensual kisses soon turned into the massaging of tongues, hard passionate kisses, nipping each others' lips with their teeth. Mulder manoeuvred Scully on top. With him between her legs, she slipped of his clothes agonisingly slow. Mulder thought he was going to burst, as her fingers danced delicately across his skin.  
Scully guided him into her. For fifteen minutes Mulder watched the muscles on Scully's face contort in her ecstasy, how it carried on through to the upper part of her body; the moans which escaped from her mouth, before taking charge of the situation himself.

…

Mulder lay awake, watching Scully sleep. She still had not woken up and he had already showered and found several of his left over t-shirts in her laundry basket and one underneath her pillow. He had been touched to know that she still kept a part of him, even if they were the left overs.  
He mouthed kisses onto her shoulders.  
Her brow furrowed.  
He repeated his kisses.  
She frowned deeper and opened her eyes  
"You got to get up"

"No I don't", closing them again.

"Yes you do because I want to buy a crib, and I want to make sure I buy you the right one"

"The baby is not due for another 3 months Mulder", her eyes still assuming sleep.

"We need to be prepared for the unexpected Scully". He could make out her eye roll despite her lids being shut. "So get up"

All of a sudden she felt anger rise in her. "What is going on?" she hitched herself up, her red hair framed her face like a wild lion's mane.

"You're going to direct me to the correct shop so that we can buy stuff to go into the kid's nursery"

"Not right now. What is going on here", her voice was rising. "With us, falling back into this old tiresome routine of us chasing each other. I can't do it Mulder"

"I can't hide from you. I'm yours, if you'll have me… I love you"

* * *

**Krycek's rental car  
Three weeks before Scully's return. **

"Everything is in order for her return".

"Why?", Krycek followed the large puffs of smoke that flowed out of CSM's mouth.

CSM allowed a large billow of smoke to transpire through the air before he spoke again, "I miscalculated the effect of her disappearance on Mulder. He needs hope or he will give up his cause".

"Why not use a clone?"

He flicked ash on to the dashboard, "the clones will not be ready for another month, and we can't risk Mulder seeing through the façade".

"What if she remembers?"

"No one else has, so why should she be any different?"

"I don't know, I just don't trust Mulder"

"It will be made sure that she doesn't remember", he extinguished the cigarette on the dash board.

"I think it's a mistake…"

CSM was reaching for the car door but snapped back on hearing Krycek's words. "You are not here to think, you are here to do! Now ensure that there are no complications"

* * *

**Northwest Georgetown Hospital  
Washington DC  
Following Scully's admittance.**

Mulder sat with his head in his hands between his knees, bouncing his legs furiously.  
After a few minutes, Maggie placed a calming hand on his knee for the second time.  
He murmured an apology but continued after a minute. He stopped however when Scully's doctor walked in to the room.

"Ok" he scanned over the solemn faces in the room before taking a seat, resting his flip chart on his knee. "Results have found no evidence of mistreatment, no particulates, no foreign DNA. We found an old but severe head injury, which I agree with FBI may have happened during the struggle of her abduction, and might also explain her current comatose state. The true effects of the injury however, will be known if she wakes up"

"When she wakes up" Mulder corrected.  
The doctor met his stare, and looked down at him dismayed.  
Mulder did not want to hear it. "Agent Scully was pregnant at the time of her abduction" he croaked.

The doctor found 3 pairs of eyes pinned on him in anticipation. He looked down at his flip chart nervously. "We have found no evidence of Dana giving birth and she is definitely not pregnant now..."

"But she was, she was pregnant. There are scans to prove it"

The doctor shrugged, "how far along was she?"

"When she was abducted, a little over 6 months, her baby would have been almost 2 months now"

"I'm sorry, I can't..."

"And you have no idea or description of who bought her in"

"As per your request we checked CCTV, and there was nothing..."

"This is horse shit, your telling me that she just appeared..." Maggie placed another hand on Mulder's knee causing him to stop.

"I know its odd but I can't offer any other explanation for her appearance. As for Dana's lost child, maybe she miscarried..."

"So late?" It had been the first time that Maggie had spoken.

The doctor was speechless as he tried to come up with an explanation. "Its uncommon but it happens"

"What about caesarean, Dana told me the nurse said she would probably have to have a caesarean due to the baby's size" Mulder shot a look at her, this was news to him.

"Mrs Scully we found no other sign of injury or stitching apart from the one on Dana's skull", he glanced over the three bowed heads. He wanted to give them hope. "If you like, I can ask for an X-ray of Dana's skeleton and have one of the hospitals forensic anthropologists see what the bones say, they maybe able to fill in the blanks. Although it would be dangerous to expose her to so much radiation..."

"Just her pelvic area" Mulder interjected, "that's all that needs to be X-Rayed"

...

**Scully is awake. Mulder has just returned ****Scully her necklace.**

Mulder crumpled into the hospital wall outside Scully's room.

The injury on the back of her skull, although expertly stitched by her abductee/s, had harrowing side effects. She was suffering from memory loss. Furthermore because of the position of impact on the brain, memories could not be forced on on her as it could seriously disrupt her neural activity, severe brain damage affecting her mobility being the very worst outcome.  
She had asked about the whereabouts of her father, they had lied that he was visiting Bill in San Diego. The anticipation of her parents' arrival for Christmas dinner 1993 seemed to be the last memory that Scully had, she had no memory of her father's death, her relationship with Mulder, or their baby that they had lost during her abduction.  
The X-Rays had found a faint 8 cm scar across her lower abdomen, the doctors said it was superior work and concluded that considering how faded her scar was, even if emergency caesarean had been performed it couldn't have been less than 4 months. In all likeliness her child, only being 6 months in the womb, would not have survived its mother's abduction.  
The doctors had informed Scully of her memory loss, and that only she could in time remember her lost memories.

Mulder had lost his child. Disassembling and painting over his daughter's nursery in Scully's apartment the other day had been slow and torturous, and not without outbursts of tears.

**Sim Residence  
San Diego, California  
2 months old.**

She sat on the porch armchair waiting for him to come home, she had purposefully sat on the one that one as it allowed her to rock back and forth.  
He had bought it for her, his token gift to her for becoming a mother.  
She was of course overjoyed. She had not wanted to become a mother until she realised that it was no longer possible. Yet here she was, with her little miracle. The agency had bought her round only yesterday, and she had not been able to take her eyes off of her since, her Emily.  
Mrs Sim's sleep deprived eyes took in her 10 little fingers, and lovingly played with her little toes. Emily let out a huge yawn, which shook through her entire body, opening her deep blue eyes momentarily before fluttering back into sleep. Her peach lips were pursed shut, her cheeks were heavy and a healthy pink, she had long thick dark brown eye lashes, and a cute button nose. Mrs Sim picked up a stray eyelash from Emily's cheek with her pinky finger and made a wish for her. Unlike her masses of curly dark brown hair, her eyebrows were almost in-existent which suggested to Mrs Sim, that at least one of her biological parents had been fair. She placed a light kiss on Emily's forehead.

_**When I was born I had dark brown hair, which went gingerish blonde when I was 3 and then dark brown again when I entered my teens, so the same thing is going to happen to Emily!**_

_**This ****was actually the first chapter I wrote when I started this fanfic, although I had it that she didn't have memory loss but I thought I could have more fun with this.**_


	19. Fluffy Purple Slippers

_**I added a small bit to the end of the last chapter if you guys want to read it – I will try to stop making a habit of it.  
**_

**Chapter 18: Fluffy Purple Slippers**  
Possible spoilers: Excelsis Dei: Mulder and Scully's latest case begins with the rape and battery of a nurse in a Massachusetts convalescent home. What makes it an X-File is her claim that her attacker was invisible. But upon their arrival, they discover that the unrest is not limited only to the live in residents.

**PART I**  
**Mulder's Apartment  
****January 1995, ****Sunday, the day following the assignment closure. ****12:45**

Mulder emerged from his 'bedroom' at hearing the sound of the telephone ringing; he was mid re-organising his stacks of cardboard boxes, stuffed with things that he has collected since Oxford, They, instead of him occupied his study and his bedroom, but left a narrow wooden-floorboard road to his bathroom. He wanted to move his 'Scully and Baby box of memories' to the furthest corner of his 'study', out of sight, and out of mind. He stared at the flashing led light on the telephone, wondering who would be calling him on a Saturday afternoon.

"Hi Fox... I'ts Maggie Scully, Dana's mother"

"Oh hi Mrs Scully...I trust that you had a nice Christmas".  
He couldn't hide the surprise from his voice, he hadn't seen or heard from Maggie since Scully's dismissal from hospital over two months ago.

"It was good Fox, how about yours?"

He shrugged, "ditto for me".  
Scully had forwarded her Christmas invitation but he had declined, namely because since his sister's disappearance, like many other holidays, it had become loathed by the Mulder household. Not that his parents had not made the effort for their son, but they had not been wanted to be celebrated by his younger self either; and as the years deteriorated, so did their effort.

Although this year he had fantasised for some weeks, that his Christmas present to Scully would be to place their daughter in her arms. To place her into his mother's arms, while he assured his promise of one day finding Samantha, but that until then her scars could start to heal through her granddaughter. But reality found him on Christmas morning with no Scully, no daughter and no joyous parents. Just him and the TV, as it had been for the past 10 years of his life. However, at about 12:20, after 2 hours of TV, 7 consecutive beers, and 3 hours of deep thought, he had picked himself up and walked over to the phone and dialled his mother's number and had a 30 minute conversation with her about nothing in particular. Then he called his father's house and had an hours conversation, also about nothing special. A huge weight had shifted off his shoulder and despite everything, it had been his best Christmas in 22 years.

"I wanted to ask, have you spoken to Dana lately? Outside of work I mean"

"...yeah, we talked about her father...twice".

Scully had spent the Christmas holiday at her mothers. Which had driven Mulder slightly crazy, as she was no longer 30 minutes away from her; he could no longer picture her whereabouts and know that she was safe. Apart from his work, it was her that kept Mulder going, stopped him from opening the other 12 pack of beer; the belief that she needed him and would one day return back to him.  
As Christmas had drawn nearer, Scully's questionings over her father's whereabouts became unbearable; she was too smart to accept that her father was unreachable, on land or sea. Upon Maggie's request, her doctor's had agreed that she should learn about her father, as they feared that she may cause more damage trying to remember. It hadn't mattered though, because after 4 days of being told, she had forgotten. The doctors had assured them that this was normal, but inclined them not to mention any other memories that may cause her shock or distress.

"Yes the doctor said that her memory would get stronger with time. I accompanied her yesterday for a routine check-up. They said that it was healing steadily but that it may still be a year before she can be filled in fully about all that has happened...all that she has lost..."

Mulder nodded down the telephone line and nibbled on his lip, knowing that it was wasted on Maggie. He was torn; part of him wanted Scully to remember so that she could know that despite the pitifulness their job could bring, they had managed to create something beautiful. However, an even stronger part did not want to see her body in withdrawal, her overhanging form, her quivering bottom lip, her eyes filling up with tears, and watching them billow over her cheeks. For her to know that he hadn't been able to protect his daughter, as a father should; even worse, that she would blame him, and so loose her entirely.

"…Fox, the father of Dana's baby..."

He held his breath.

"…It's been bothering me for some time, he really should know what happened. I don't know if Dana told you anything, or whether you know who he is? All she told me was that…" she let out a mournful sigh "...It had been an accident and she would most likely be a single mother"

Mulder felt a stab in his left side. He guessed that he deserved that. He was not the most supportive of people. How he wished he could have those moments back, he would do it so differently.  
"...yeah she mentioned him, but she never told him. She wanted to do it alone".  
He gulped. He was sure that if they were having this conversation face to face, Maggie would see through his lies.

"That sounds like my daughter" she let out a small chuckle, and a short silence followed. "Dana's in her apartment now".  
Mulder perked up, imagining Scully in her oversized fluffy purple slippers and FBI T, _although_ _not_ _mine_, curling up on the sofa, watching Moonlighting with a tub of ice cream and milk.

"Well of course you know that, you've just come back from assignment together, sometimes I think it's me that has the memory problem" they shared a small chuckle over her joke, he felt that she had more to say "...At first I was worried about her going back to work so soon after her…, I thought that it was too soon but having her over Christmas… she's fine, she's her old self. I guess it is only us who are left to…", she let out a another deep sigh.

"I know what you mean Mrs Scully but we have to try pretence for the sake of Dana's health"

"That's just it though. I'm worried Fox that she is doing too much, trying to remember too much too soon..."

"I'm not too happy on the idea of her back at work either Mrs Scully and believe me I did try to convince her to resume her position at Quantico but she is adamant for things to continue as she left them...I promise I will look after her", he mumbled the last bit, _yeah, because I have such a good track record._

"I know you will Fox. I trust you, and Dana is lucky to have a friend like you... was it you who put down the nursery?"

"Yes", his heart did a painful sink at the remembrance. He had forced himself to, it was his sort of closure, a way of accepting his nightmare. "I didn't want any family members to have to go through that pain"

"Well thank-you. Dana's older brother Bill said he would do it before she went back to her apartment, but you beat him to it. Anyway, I'm going to say goodnight, I don't want to keep you"

"Good night Mrs Scully".

"And Fox, you should come round for Sunday lunch one weekend with Dana"

"I will. Goodnight".  
He put down the phone and went over to open two cans of beer. _An ode to beer: sweet nectar, thou arst an alleviator of pain, and a bringer of sleep. I continue to drink to you. _He swigged it down in two minutes before moving to the other one. It was 1pm in the afternoon. _4 down, 8 more to go._

…

The sun had gone in, and the blinds made a faint racket against the open window. The street lamps faintly outlined the objects in the apartment's living room. A desk with a pc, lamp and telephone on it; a couch; TV; coffee table; and, a few opened cardboard boxes. Mulder snored softly on the sofa, 7 empty beer cans laid around the vicinity of the couch, and a half eaten large meat feast pizza was slung open on the coffee table.  
His brows furrowed on the first ring.  
His mouth twitched on the second.  
He altogether moved his body round towards the couch on the third, trying to escape the ringing.  
After the seventh one, he gave in.

"…Mulder its Scully"

"Scully", he got up quickly to switch on the lamp and glanced at his wrist watch, it was 22:45. "What are you doing up so late...I was just thinking about you" he smirked, recalling his Scully-erotic dream that he hadn't wanted to be woken up from, but talking to the actual Scully was a fair compromise " …how was your Christmas with your family?"

"Mulder my father's dead"

He breathed out a loud sigh, she had forgotten and remembered again.  
"Scully…"

"I don't know, I must have fallen asleep on the couch but when I woke up I remembered. They were on their way back from mine after dinner before Christmas last year, and he had a stroke and died"

"Scully, I'm sorry …."

"Mulder you don't have to say anything. Besides you've probably heard this already…" she waited for him to reply but he just offered her silence. "…Mulder the truth"

"You've told me twice while you were over at your mother's for Christmas. This is the third time you have told me in three weeks"

"Shit…", Mulder could picture her crinkled forehead and pursed up lips as she mentally kicked herself.

"Hey Scully, it will get better in time"

"I don't want it to get better in time. I want it to get better now. Besides if I have been told already, shouldn't I remember it? I'm worried Mulder, is this starting to affect my immediate memory too" she puffed.

"You're probably trying too hard to remember. Added to that, it's a pretty prominent life event, your father's death. You really shouldn't have been told in the first place, it's only because that you are so damned logical that you had to be told in the first place, and it may have been just be a bit too much for your brain to process…"

"hmmm…" she moaned in despair. There was a few moments silence.

"Do you want to me to come over?"

"Ermm" she was shocked by his question and stared down at what she was wearing, just her oversized FBI T and her fluffy purple slippers, she would have to change.

Sensing her hesitation "Don't worry you don't have to change, I won't laugh at your fluffy purple slippers…"

"How do you know that I have purple fluffy slippers?" _and how did I know he was going to laugh at them. _

He decided not to reply.

"Yes… it would be nice not to be by myself"

Mulder let the line go quiet for a few seconds. He nibbled the inside of his mouth, contemplating what the outcome of this evening might be "Ok, I'll be right over".

**PART II**  
**Scully's Apartment  
****Sunday, 23:15**

Mulder laughed at Scully's small frame standing in her apartment doorway, he was correct. She wore her oversized navy FBI T and her fluffy purple slippers, she had put on some red silk PJ bottoms on too.  
"What? You promised you wouldn't laugh", she stuck out her bottom lip, which only caused him to laugh more. She rested into a pissed of teenager pose; eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Mulder observed that underneath her heavy stare, her eyes were wild a fiery blue, her cheeks had a touch of crimson, she had no makeup on so all her moles were apparent, the one near her top lip, on her left cheek, and…, he moved his head slightly to see the one on her far right forehead. All framed by her ruffled red curls, that mimicked a young child that had just woken up after a 10 hour sleep. His grin broke his laugh, _yes, she was indeed beautiful, no matter her state_.  
"What's the joke Mulder?" she tapped her right slipper on the floor in annoyance.

He sobered, not wanting her to get offended and ask him to leave. "It's nothing_" this is exactly how I imagined you _"I'm sorry…I'm just happy to see you"

"You saw me just yesterday at work. This is no way to greet someone who has just found out her father has just died. I hope you reacted better the first time I told you"

"I did, I promise you, I was much more empathetic. So am I forgiven, are you going to let me in?"

She pretended to look over him dubiously, her eyes met his green puppy dog eyes. She smiled at his expression but didn't release her control over the door. "Yeesh Mulder, what colour are your eyes" she peered closer to his face, so that she could analyse them. He focussed on her lips, and how they parted ever so slightly, he wished he could steal a kiss from them, a taste. "I swear sometimes their blue, brown, hazel"

"Like a mood ring"

"OOO Spooky" she laughed surrendering the door.

He gave her his coat and watched her hang it up. Hoping that the movement would allow him a glimpse of her smooth soft skin and how the curve of her waist finely cut into it. Her T was too long. "So really how are you?"

"I'm fine" she sighed, she paused and focussed on the floor. He moved a comforting arm to rest on her shoulder. Their eyes met. "I'm fine really" shrugging whatever she was feeling off "but I am thinking of investing in a whiteboard, so that I don't forget anymore."

"Ooo and can you also write that you are one Fox Mulder's sex slave"

She gave him a quizzical look, _where was this coming from, we're never like this_.

He had meant it as a joke but realised from her look that he was getting to ahead of himself. "I'm sorry, just trying to lighten the mood, although I really shouldn't make jokes"

"No its fine" she rested a finger lightly on his abdomen, but removed it quickly because of the impulses it sent to her most sensitive regions. The touch didn't go unnoticed by Mulder either, _please let this end like it did last time_, he thought. She cleared her throat, "can I get you a beer or something"

"Just water pleased", he watched her go into the kitchen and had a flash memory of a naked Scully balancing herself with her arms on the kitchen, as she prevently pumped herself up and down his shaft. Sweat clung to both their bodies, a bead of sweat rolled off Scully's forehead, her back impossibly arched, parading her breasts which were begging to be sucked and nipped, short incomplete sentences about Mulder sung from her mouth…  
Mulder put his hands in his front jean pockets and took in the rest of his surroundings. The last time he had been in her apartment had been four days prior to her abduction. They had spent that day painting the nursery, Mulder had wanted to paint the room pink, and Scully a sea blue, they had settled on green. Scully had then decorated the walls with pink and blue butterfly stencils, painting a blue alien where the head of the cot would be. Mulder had decorated the ceiling with glow in the dark stars, trying to make it as accurate as possible. The day had finished with them covered in yellow, blue and pink paint; Chinese takeaway boxes; and Scully asleep between Mulders legs, while four hands adorned her bump. After four hours of arguing, many animal name suggestions from Scully, they had compromised on their baby's name, Matilda Samantha Scully-Mulder.

"…Mulder, Mulder". Mulder frowned at the floor, he wanted to hang on to the memory a moment longer. He felt her fingers on his abdomen, he roused himself away from his memory. "…Mulder your water"

"O…Thanks"

"Are you OK?"

"mmm hmm" he took a sip of the water.

"It's much more comfortable on the couch", she signalled with her thumb.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of her brushing the edge of the couch had alerted more of his memories.  
_…She gripped the edge of the couch with one hand, while the other tousled through his hair, her nails digging hard into his skull, but he had liked it. Her knee length work skirt was hitched around her waist and the top three buttons of her blouse un-done. Her hips cocked up, thrusting rhymatically to meet his intruding fingers and tongue. She rolled out his name over and over…  
…Her naked, slung over the sofa's hand rest, with him entering her from behind. Her hands bonded together by his work tie…  
_…_He rested his head on the top of her bump, planting kisses on it; his arms hugged her form as she examined his scalp. It was the earlier hours of the morning and Krycek had just dropped him off, drunk, with his head needing stitches. He had joined in with the FBI vs the local pub dart team brawl, taking a hard blow when his head intercepted a broken glass bottle. The fight had finished with Mulder a hero. Scully was six months pregnant…_

Mulder shuddered in the remembrance of the last memory, there she was taking care of him at 3am in the morning, when it should have been the other way round.

"So thanks for coming over, I'm sorry that I called you …I hope I wasn't interrupting anything", she awoken him from his thoughts.

"No really its fine…Oh!" remembering his gift in his back pocket "I bought you some sunflower seeds"

"…Thanks…" She opened them not even knowing if she liked sunflower seeds

"I figured it would make a change from all that ice cream", Scully stopped in her tracks and stared into his deep brown eyes, she remembered herself after a few moments and continued opening the packet. She shook her head and smiled, "how do you know me so well Mulder", she offered him the packet. "I feel like I don't know anything about you outside of work…Did we get close?" she asked him while popping a seed into her mouth.

He was interested to see how she liked them. "A bit", she grimaced at the taste in her mouth, "no likey?" he chuckled.

"No" she said trying hard to swallow the taste, she searched his face, "that surprises you?" He offered her his water.

"A bit" and smiled coyly, making her more annoyed that she didn't know what these signals going off between them meant.

"…So" not wanting her to delve further, "Agent Scully, I for once actually got you back from an assignment before the weekend started, what have you been up to?"

"Well Friday evening, I went out with some of my FBI girlfriends…"

"Mmmm hmmm" he chucked a handful of seeds down his throat "did you meet anyone?"

"I did actually", she watched for his reaction.

Mulder's heart stopped beating for a few seconds; he hid it well though, reaching for a long sip of his water. "Oh yeah", he tried to play it cool

"Yes, he gave me his number but I don't think anything will come of it. He's from Saudi Arabia and splits his time between here and home. He's also very work obsessed", directing the last comment specifically at Mulder.

"Uh huh, sound like anyone I know"

She chuckled, "Mulder this is weird". He gave her a questioning glance. "That we can be two people at work, and two totally different people outside. Don't get me wrong its nice…" she unconsciously let out a yawn and got lost into a train of thought, fighting to remember.

"Why do you want to talk about work, because I can talk about work if you want?"

"No!"

"…You did good by the way Scully, on the last case, you really connected with it and stood by it, when I was just ready to blow it off. It was almost a role reversal"

She nodded seriously. "Cases like that, is really why I joined the FBI" Mulder's glanced urged her continued, "oh something you don't know about me!" She sobered again, "during my M.D training, one of the girls on my course claimed that she was sexually attacked by two of the resident doctors. The problem was that she didn't report it until three months after the attack, so she had no evidence, she could make no conviction. No one believed her, not even me and I was her friend", Scully sighed deeply, Mulder knew all too well how that felt. "…we all thought she was…well it's not important what we all thought, because we were wrong. She fell into heavy depression and took her own life, because she was all alone, she had no one to trust", a small smile broke Scully's sombre expression. "I've never told anyone that before", she stared down into her palms

"Well Scully" he roused her from her thoughts "I think you've done her justice. And I am truly sorry about your father. He was a good man, and father, and I believe that you are very much like him…apart from you are a woman", she giggled at his attempt to be considerate, "and I'm sorry I wasn't more sensitive before…I wish I could have told you"

"Mulder its fine, as you say, I will remember in time"

He didn't hear her reply, "…there is so much I want to tell you". Her yawn re-focussed him. "Hey, I'm going to head on out"

"Yeah, I'm a bit sleepy" she failed to stifle another yawn, "thanks for coming over. I feel much better, you really cheered me up", she followed him to the coat stand. Her eyes feasted on his toned abdomen that made an appearance as he put on his jacket. Sending signals again, she cleared her throat and tried to focus herself. "I'll see you Monday"

"Monday".

**Part III  
****Sim Residence  
****San Diego, California, ****Monday, 00:30**

The night light illuminated most of the room. A 4 month old Emily lay in her cot. Her parents had moved her out of their room into her own rainbow painted room at 3 months old, it had taken her almost two weeks to adjust to the change in environment; she had missed the reassuring sounds that came from her parents' sleeping. She turned her head so that she could see some of her toys which occupied her room. A large purple fluffy teddy bear with a heart on his chest sat next to her door. A bookshelf on the other side. She raised her head up so that she could just make out the edge of her toy box, which her mother had painted pink love hearts on it. She tried a few times to roll over so she could get a better look, and failed. She turned her head to play with her moon nightlight that was attached to her cot, she got bored of it after 10 seconds. She raised her head up to see her rainbow and cloud mobile that hung above her bed, but it wasn't moving. Hungry and unimpressed by the entertainment, she let out small whimpers, knowing that her mother would attend to her instantly.

Emily was surprised when both her parents entered her room, and grinned eagerly, exposing her dimples, kicking her chubby legs so that they would know she was happy.

"How is daddy's little princess?" he said while swooping her up to his face so he could place a loving kiss on her lips.

"I think she is hungry" Mrs Sim answered, knowing her daughter's feeding antics.

"Is that right sweetheart? Are you hungry?"

Emily kicked her legs furiously in response, connecting with the similar enigmatic blue eyes. She reached to play with his also similar brown hair. Mrs Sim watched her husband and their daughter interact fondly.

"Give Mummy a kiss" he said leaning Emily towards his wife as she adorned loving kisses all over her face.

"Lets. Get. You. Something. To. Eat, shall we?", smoothing her daughter's ruffled brown curls.

Emily gripped on to her father's bare chest as they all three made their way towards the kitchen. She let out a sigh of contentment.


	20. Red Marks

_**Mulder tries a different approach:**_

**Chapter 20: Red Marks**

**PART I**  
**New Years Day 1995, 08:45**  
**FBI basement**

Scully glanced up at Mulder. He'd resumed the same pose since she'd arrived almost 30 minutes ago. She was aware that she'd arrived 45 minutes later than their agreed time, but she hadn't expected him to be so ... pissed off.

He could see her watching him out of the corner of his eye. For the past 30 minutes he had pretended to be engrossed with the X-File in front of him. In reality he was fighting to keep his calm, to prevent his territorial-caveman urge to lean across the table and knock her down to the ground with one almighty blow from his backhand. But he wouldn't, she no longer belonged to him, he no longer owned her, and this made him seethe.

She knew he felt her eyes on him. His glasses had slid to the near tip of his nose, and she knew he must have been gagging to reposition them back on the bridge. She watched as his face deepened its frown and his lips pursed tighter. This, combined with his ruffled up hair made him look like a pissed off 5-year-old, Scully thought and chuckled unconsciously, _how childish_.  
Gleaming eyes rose to meet hers. She gave him an innocent shrug, he repositioned his glasses and they both pretended to re-shift their concentration back to the X-File in front of them.  
She couldn't understand why he was acting like this, yeah she had been late, but they are supposed to be close, friends, isn't that what he had said on Saturday evening. That they were close?

...

She checked her wrist watch, 5 minutes had passed, she cleared her throat.  
"Mulder..." she piped.  
The same gleaming eyes met her again.  
"Shouldn't we be going? Our meeting with Skinner is in 10 minutes"

Mulder put the file aside, joined by his glasses, and walked to take his overcoat off the stand.  
"You go. I have some business to attend to"

She turned around in the chair to face him, disbelief spread over her face. "...Mulder?", putting aside her own glasses.

"Scully", he deadpanned.

She shrugged, still in disbelief. "We have a 9am meeting with Skinner", she repeated, "its the first one since the holiday break. I was sure the workaholic inside you had been dreaming of this moment"

"I'm sure you will be able to handle him by yourself. You don't need me", his final words felt like venom; his disgusted eyes lingered on to the two red marks before leaving the room without a word. He should have asked how she was; how she was feeling about her father - if she still remembered; whether she had done anything for New Years Eve. But he didn't, he did not want to know. The two red marks that appeared on the side of her neck was enough information for him.

**PART II****  
****New Years Day 1995, 10:35**  
**Georgetown Hospital**

Mulder paced the small office, a hand massaged his aching head. He stopped instantly when Scully's doctor entered the room and shook his hand firmly, he meant business. He gestured the doctor to take a seat in his own office. The doctor signalled Mulder to also sit, he was hesitant at first but obliged; resting both hands firmly on his thighs to stop them from twitching.

"So Agent Mulder, what is it I can do for you? Is Dana ok?"

"Yes Agent Scully is just fine, on cloud 9 I can only guess. It's everyone else who is losing their mind" he muttered. The doctor leaned back in his chair and prompted Mulder to continue. "Ok off the record. No, let's say hypothetically. A person in Dana's condition meets another in those 11 months of memory loss, someone who they had not met prior. How can that person approach Dana?"

"Well I would suggest a simple 'hello'"

"You know that's not what I am referring to. What about all the memories, all the experiences that those two people had, felt in those 11 months"

"Agent Mulder, you told me you were an Oxford educated psychologist. I'm sure I don't have to explain to you that memory can be re-kindled as easily as a simple touch or smell, or sometimes it takes something bigger like hypnosis..."

"Doc, your right, I know all about re-kindling old memories but we have been told that it can't be done in Dana's case"

"No it can't, she will just have to remember when the times right"

"And when is that, a year?" he snorted. "What if she comes to regret the decisions she makes now, when she discovers the truth of her lost 11 months. It could potentially cause greater psychological damage, more than if she were to be just told straight away"

The doctor leaned forward and rested his hands on to the desk, looking Mulder square in the eye. "Agent Mulder do you want to see your partner as a vegetable or in a comatose-like state?"

Mulder looked down to his lap and shook his head dismally.

"Good, because that is what may happen if Dana is reminded of those 11 months too soon. The death of her father should really never had been disclosed to her. And a memory, especially like a loss of a child may cause serious neural damage that may lead to a vegetable-like state, or having to be placed in a comatose state to prevent such damage, for which she may never wake up. Memories of those 11 months, no matter how small, can ricochet to the remembrance of much larger more damaging memories. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that either", he almost snapped. This was the third time Mulder had been in his office over Scully's health since she had been dismissed.

Mulder continued his dismal stare.

He softened. "Look, that's very worst case scenario. Chances are, 73% it will not affect her neurological activity at all, however do you want to risk that 27%?", he reasoning with him as if he was a child.

Mulder shook his head again. Sitting there, he did look like a child, not a 30 year old adult male. After a minute he picked himself up, re-shook the doctor's hand and left in silence.

**PART III****  
****New Years Day 1995, 11:04**  
**Mulder's taxi cab.**

"Scully?"

"Yes Mulder its me?"

Mulder breathed a sigh of release. "I called the office, you weren't there. Skinner, he didn't know where you are. So I tried your cell phone..."

"And I answered. What's up? she asked, slightly annoyed.

"Where are you?" he demanded, not impressed by her tone of voice.

"I'm currently walking myself out of the archive room so I can answer this call. Where are you Mulder?"

"…Well what are you doing there?"

"I'm getting a start on our new case", her annoyance not being hidden from her voice. "You didn't expect me to just sit twiddling my thumbs did you? A.D Skinner wasn't impressed when I told him that you had just left without a reasonable explanation"

"Really?" he said sarcastically. Since returning from her abduction, much to his annoyance, she had returned back into ladder-climbing-Scully.

"What is it?" she demanded.

"Nothing...I wanted to know where you were"

"Well you found me"

"Well I don't want you going anywhere without me knowing"

"...?...what like the archive room, or the bathroom, I'll be needing to go there soon", she played angrily with her glasses.

"No, but I would like to know where you were last night"

She faltered, "...?... Mulder, are you unwell?" not believing he had actually asked her that question. "Why? It's none of your business"

"You could have been hurt"

"But I wasn't"

"...it made you late for work"

"By like 15 minutes"

"We agreed to meet at 7:30"

"Mulder!"

"You could have been hurt", his voice raising to meet hers.

Scully softened a bit. "But I wasn't. You're too protective of me", she was slightly panicked over why they were having this conversation at all, "you need to stop"

"Well I tried that and you went missing for almost 5 months, losing 11 months of your memory. Do you know how fucking annoying that is?"

"Yes Mulder, actually I do" her temper rising again. "I have a whiteboard on my bedroom door reminding me that my father is dead! Although, why it would be such an annoyance to you...?"

He was silent.

"Speak now Mulder or forever hold your tongue"

_You are mine, you belong to me__  
_"...I was just worried about where you were"

"Well you are going to have to get a lot more worried, everyone is. Because you don't own me, I am your W-o-r-k Partner, you are not my keeper. And more importantly, outside of work, what I do is not your concern". It was like de-je-vu.

"Right" and hung up.

**PART IV****  
****The next day, 14:10**  
**Basement office**

Her eyes glowered at him as she entered the office after her lunch break.

He knew he shouldn't, but he almost felt happy, certainly self-elated by her reaction.

She had gone out for lunch with her FBI girlfriends. No doubt Tricia had told her about their exertion or exertions from last night. She rested her coat back on the rack, raising an eyebrow at his smug expression, straightened out her dress suit before striding defiantly into her section of the office. She was annoyed at how annoyed she was.

Mulder chuckled to himself as he flipped through a file in front of him. After a few minutes he walked over to her. "How was lunch?" he asked, almost smiling. He scrutinised her neck from behind her, make-up concealed her red marks; she hadn't noticed them yesterday morning in her rush. He flicked fluff off her jacket's shoulder pad. She shrugged his hand off, refusing to make eye contact with him, not wanting to see the two long red marks at the side of his neck, which Tricia had taken great pleasure informing how they had become.

"It was great actually" she lied, not removing her eyes from the article in front of her.

"Oh yeah, where did you go? Who with?", Mulder knew he was being a bit fanatic and probably mean, but he needed to know that she craved for him, that she too was hurt by his actions just as he was by hers. Last night had been satisfying but it wasn't a candle to Scully.

"Just to that little French restaurant round the corner... Ummm Rachel, Holly... the girls"

"Oh yeah, was Tricia there?" It was very low, but he was feasting on her response.

"Ummm yeah, but she didn't arrive until later", she managed to look him square in the eyes before returning her focus on the article. He gave her a coy smile for her braveness.

"Uh huh, ok well I'm going to 'take' lunch now, see you in an hour" he left the adjoining room. Tears stung her eyes, she felt like she had been slapped in the face. She frowned deeply, trying to focus on whatever was in front of her.

Mulder returned, popping his head through the room, invading her personal space, again. "Oh and Scully, I know you probably wouldn't anyway, but I wouldn't touch my side of the desk, it needs to be de-sanitised".

She didn't reply, afraid of the tears that were forming in her eyes. She waited until she could hear his feet retreat down the hall way before she allowed one to fall. She leaned back on her chair and wiped the betraying tear from her cheek. "God, what is wrong with me!?"

**PART V****  
****4 months old**  
**Sim Residence**

Her parents had spent the last hour with her playing on the floor. If she turned her head to the left she could see their entwined feet as they cuddled on the sofa. She could see Bunny to the right of her, her Bunny, she wanted it. She turned her head and whimpered, but her parents' feet didn't move. She made an attempt to move her arm closer but it still couldn't reach. In another effort, her left hip had risen, and she realised that she could move a bit closer, but her hip fell down again before she could make progress; she was back where she started. She furrowed her brows and pursed her lips and tried again, in vain. She succeeded on her fifth attempt; and, despite the carpet burn to her forehead, she was now on her front and much closer to Bunny. She smiled and gurgled in amazement of herself. However before she could reach for Bunny, she felt the strong arms of her father pulling her away, placing kisses on her, she felt the familiar touches of her mother's kisses too. She saw Bunny on the floor, by itself, and began to wail, her arms furiously grabbing for it. Her mother picked it up and handed it to her, soothing her until she stopped whimpering.

Mrs Sim looked up gleefully to her husband, "the first time she rolled over"

"4 months and 3 days, you better put it in the book". Mr Sim smiled and kissed the small red mark that had formed on her forehead.


	21. Velkommen Tilbage : Welcome Back

_**Sorry this is a very long chapter but I didn't want to break it up. Hopefully it reads fast:**_

**Chapter 21: Velkommen Tilbage****  
**Possible Spoilers: Irresistible: Someone is excavating graves in Minneapolis, removing body parts from the corpses. Mulder quickly dismisses the idea that the case is an X-File, profiling the perpetrator as a fetishist.

**PART I****  
****Mid-January 1995, 14:20pm**  
**Scully Residence, Annapolis, Maryland**

They met in the landing. Scully had her hair wrapped in a faded brown and yellow towel, one which she remembered using when she was 14. The towelled dressing gown, albeit very used, was comforting against her skin, she happily breathed in the familiar scent of her mother's fabric softener. She smiled broadly at Missy as she passed; partly because she was happy to see her, partly because of the comical expression of disbelief that graced her sister's face. She chuckled as she shut the door behind her. It wasn't shut for long.

Missy closed the door behind her quickly, as if she was concealing a top government secret. "Daanessss...?"

"Yeesss", she said, matching her sister's questioning tone. She had emptied the contents of her overnight bag on the faded dolphin duvet cover; picking out her clean pair of underwear, a grey pair of woollen tights, her fluffy purple slippers and her purple jumper dress, then shoved the rest of the contents back into her bag.

Her sister was too quick though, picking out her birth control pills. "Why do you need a shower in the middle of the day? And why do you need to put on a fresh pair of underwear? And why do you need these?!" She waved the packet of birth control pills as if she held the key to extra-terrestrial life.

Scully rolled her eyes at her sister, chucked her robe off, and pulled on her panties. "I don't know, why do you need to have a shower in the middle of the day?" signalling with her eyebrows to Missy's damp curly red hair. She hooked on her bra.

"Well we both know why I have showers in the middle of the day, because it hasn't changed since I turned 17. But you miss dull, careful and precise. This is behaviour I have not witnessed in a long time"

"Well surprise" she muttered, wanting to escape this conversation, and conscious of her burning cheeks. She went to snatch back her pills but Missy saw her coming and plopped herself on the bed, safeguarding them with her bum.

"I want details"

Scully decided to ignore her; she instead hung up the towelling to dry and moved to the blue framed full length mirror which was decorated with white painted-on swirls, and inspected her reflection. She started by scrunching her hair. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her sister propped full length on her bed as she waited for her to cave. When Scully was satisfied with her curls, she dug her make-up bag out of her handbag and applied her peach coloured lip liner.

"Is it Mulder?"

Scully screwed up her face. "What Missy, no! We're work partners"

"Doesn't mean you can't keep each other warm during those cold winter nights, alone in derelict motels..."

"Never in a million years would I start something with Mulder. He's work obsessed as well as plain obsessed, and it is so fricking frussstrating. To deal with it outside of work as well..."

"Oh so we may actually get through this meal without his presence"

"He's been so inappropriate and snappy lately Miss, really unpleasant to work and be around".

"So why don't you ask to be repositioned, or whatever it is you leaches call it"

Scully thought of Mulder's actions lately. She thought of how demanding, possessive, controlling, selfish and childish he was. She also thought of how kind, considerate, honourable, mouth-watering and good looking he was._You don't have feelings for your work partner._ She thought of her father, she thought of Daniel, and how long it had taken her to break free. _No Danes,__just keep running,__you want to stay clear from that._ The mirror showed her sister looking at her with a smile on her like the Cheshire cat. "It's not Mulder" she affirmed, and continued applying the liner.

Missy slumped towards her. "Well who is it?" she whined, putting all her weight on Scully's shoulder, looking up at her with bug eyes. "Come on Danes, Charlie will be here soon".

Scully simply replaced the lip liner with the similar shade lipstick.

Melissa huffed and passed Scully back her pills. "We used to tell each other everything Danes. I don't know what happened. What has this logical cool exterior shell done with my free and easy sister? It's me Danes, no one you need to impress, no one you have to prove yourself to"

Scully let out a deep sigh. Both she and Melissa realised it had worked. Melissa reclaimed her position on the bed, Scully quickly brushed a few strokes of mascara over her lashes, before moving over to the bed and moulding herself into Melissa's form. "Ok, what is it you want to know?"

"Everything". Scully rolled her eyes. "Start with your move back from California. After Stanford. That was when I first noticed a drastic change in my Dane-kins" She rolled her eyes at the mention of the pet name she had put a stop to since she started junior high. Although she couldn't deny that the name, along with the snuggle, was comforting.

She let out a deep sigh; she had been harbouring it in too long. "I met a guy, it was great at first but then I realised I was ruining the lives of others around him, as well as my own, although I couldn't see it at first. When I wanted to put an end to it, he fought me, not physically but emotionally; he was much stronger than me, overpowering, all consuming, and I couldn't escape, I was powerless. He wouldn't allow me my freedom, so I ran away when he least expected it; and I promised myself I would never be weak, let myself get swept up in my emotions and the moment, be powerless like that again".

She felt her sister's nod on her shoulder blade, and her hug tighten; urging her to continue. "So I guess I came back to the East Coast not only with something to prove to Dad, but to prove to myself"

"Enter no-nonsense, pant-wearing, bad-ass Dana". They chuckled. "What about relationships?"

"Well there was Richard..."

"What was Richard like?"

"I met him during my FBI training..."

"How was the sex?"

"Missy" she scolded. "...the sex was great, but he wanted children and a cute little wife"

"Ergh ergh"

Scully laughed. "Yep, I told him that just wasn't me. So then there was Ethan, who was a bit more ambitious than Richard, wife and children were not in his five year plan so I was happy, he was perfect actually"

"Sex?"

"Better, despite the fact he had a smaller thing", they both giggled.

"What happened to Ethan?"

"...I guess we just drifted apart. Soon after our training we were assigned to different posts. I was assigned to..."

"To Mulder"

"Miss"

"What? I'm just saying what I see"

"Well there must be mist in your vision because the guy I am with is called Samy"

"And does Samy work with the FBI?"

"No he's in the construction business. He's smart, successful, ambitious, a bit of a workaholic..."

"But we can't be too picky"

"No we can't. He makes me feel secure, he reminds me of dad like that"

"Danes you did not just liken your boyfriend to dad".

"It's a nice quality"

"And..."

"…the sex is mind blowing"

"So he is the cause of the current glow in my Dane-kins cheeks"

"We spent the last 12 hours in his hotel room". Sensing Missy's question, "his work is split between here and Dubai; he'll be abroad for the next month or so"

"And you're ok with that?"

"Yes I'm fine", she really was, and rested a hand on her sister's face to assure her. "What about you Melon head?"

"Since you came back from Stanford?"

"Let's just say since Christmas"

Missy kneed her Scully's back leg, "I actually have been seeing this guy called Eduardo since September, and like Samy, the sex is mindblow..."

The room door opened. Maggie leant against the door frame gazing fondly at her two teenage girls, she was happy that they still got on so well, despite all their differences. Her eyes shifted momentarily to the birth control pills in Scully's hand. Scully felt 17 years old again; she thought her mother looked angry, then kind almost upset, but quickly composed herself. "Girls your little brother is downstairs with the newest member of the family"

"Oooo" Scully jumped up, ignoring what she was feeling over her mother's reaction; she was excited to meet the first Scully grandchild.

"Danes", her sister stopped her mid-exit. "It's nice to have you back".

**PART II****  
****Mid-January 1995, 17:35pm**  
**Scully Residence, Annapolis, Maryland**

She didn't know it, but everyones' eyes were focussed on her. She had not heard her mother leave the room, she had not seen her tears. She had been swept off her feet by two week old, Josiah Edward Scully. Her brother Charlie, who had lived in New Zealand ever since he had holidayed there over 5 years ago, met Eleah and decided to settle; was making his second trip back, so his wife and newborn son could be introduced to the Scully gang.

He was heavy in her arms for a two week year old, inheriting the bulky Scully male form. She rested a hand next to his, her heart melted a little and she felt tears form when she saw it was only an 1/8 of hers. She moved the hand to smooth his already straight reddish/golden hair, he had a lot of it. His hand reached for her left index finger, and clutched it tight. She observed the contrast in complexion, for some reason she was amazed by it. She felt him begin to stir, his lips were not Scully, but his nose...he fluttered open his eyes...and his eyes were Charlie. A steel blue. Maggie had pulled out baby photos of Charlie, and although Josiah had inherited his mother complexion and lips, he was Charlie. Although to Scully, she only saw Samy and their child, and he was beautiful. Josiah nestled his head into Scully's left breast, and not feeling skin or his mother's scent, began to whimper.

"Oh" Eleah said, realising her son was hungry and reached out her arms to take him from Scully. She flinched at first, drawing him closer to her, like a lioness fending her young. Then she remembered herself and laughed it off.

"Sorry, he's so perfect just lying her", she begrudgingly passed the baby.

"I know what you mean. I spend hours just looking at him sometimes"

"He's beautiful", she directed it to both of them. "You did good young Skywalker"

"Thanks Yoda" he circled his family in his arm.

Scully's heart sank again, but smiled. "Where's Mom?", realising she wasn't in the room.

"Kitchen"

Scully found her mother scrubbing the dishes. "Mom, will you stop. You cooked a feast, I told you I would wash up. You should be there in the other room with your grandson, you're first grandchild...Dad would have been proud, its a pity he couldn't be here today".  
She had picked up a dishcloth to start drying but was disturbed by her mother's sniffles. "Sorry Mom, I can be so insensitive sometimes"

"No dear, its not that". Scully looked at her questionably. "... I'm just happy I guess. How about you?"

"Me?" She wondered what she was talking about, Josiah?... The pills? The pills. "I'm great" she smiled. "As you may have guessed from earlier on, I have met somebody. His name is Samy, he's high up in the construction business. I'll bring him round one Sunday for lunch. He's great, you'll love him"

"I'm sure I will" Maggie said before leaving the room.

Scully wasn't convinced by her reply, but she was too preoccupied over Samy and whether he would want children. She stopped her train of thought; _Dana stop. You haven't even been dating a month._

**PART III****  
****Late January 1995, 20:00, following the Donnie Pfastor case.**  
**Restaurant**

"Here is to you Scully. Welcome back", they clinked glasses. Mulder downed his champagne instantly, he was sweating buckets over this evening; plus, he had not reached his normal alcohol level for this time of night, and he needed to in order to get through the night comfortably. Scully frowned. His vast alcohol intake had not gone unnoticed, having already drank two beers while they were waiting at the bar.

She was surprised by his invitation, especially considering they had been off lately, she realised that this was their first social situation outside of work. She didn't know what to wear, what conversation would be appropriate ...But still, they were in a nice seafood restaurant, lobster was the special, there was champagne; and it meant that she wouldn't be by herself for at least 3 hours.  
"I came back almost 3 months ago Mulder", she laughed.

He shrugged as he poured himself another glass of champagne.

"But thanks, its a sweet gesture". She frowned again as she watched him down another glass, she was still sipping her first. "You're really piling them in there aren't you?"

He looked guilty, definitely embarrassed as he placed the glass down, pushing it little away from him.  
It wobbled.  
He lurched both hands to steady it, his face went crimson.  
"Its ok, I'm not going to bite your head off"

"Really!?" They both laughed, lightening the mood instantly.

"I want to apologise actually, about how I have acted towards you lately. I guess I had something to prove"

He realised it was time they cleared the air, before it affected their work relationship any more. "No, I have been a bit overbearing, and I know how suffocating that can be for you."

"I know you have my best interests but if you treat me like glass, that is exactly what I will become. And I don't think you would want that, and I sure as anything don't want that. I enjoy my independence, working on the X-Files, and believe it or not, I enjoy being your partner. I would hate to have to leave" she reasoned with him slowly, as if he was child, making sure he understood each word.

"…Its just, I guess I feel guilty over what happened the first time, and adamant for it not to happen again… I mean it was my fault you were taken by that maniac, you weren't even supposed to be working the case..."

"I wasn't?" mid sip.

"...no" he hesitated. "Your expertise was needed on another case but I asked for your help anyway"

_That sounds like you_.  
"Oh... well", she looked pitifully at him and his absent melancholy gaze, it was as if he wasn't even in the room. "You got to me this time, and the outcome arguably would have been much far worse".  
She was trying to cheer him up, she wondered if he was also liking it to his sister's abduction.

He realised that she was trying to make him feel better but it in fact made him feel worse. The images that had haunted him for two nights now, fled through his mind:  
_…Her naked in an ice cold bath, bonded, blood dripping, a look of sheer panic as she watched the scissors get closer, she screamed but no one heard her_...  
He held himself, he didn't want to breakdown in the middle of the restaurant, in front of her.  
She grabbed his hand, causing him to focus on her.  
Her eyes, deep like the ocean; he felt the coldness leave his body, and the colour being bought to his cheeks, he felt a beat against his chest.

"Hey, I'm sorry I haven't told you already, but what happened to me, it wasn't your fault".  
She looked slightly embarrassed and at the same time serious.  
"…None of it. The most important thing is that you didn't give up, and still haven't".  
He realised she was talking about Samantha too.

"I don't really want to talk about work"

She removed her hand from his, she was worried that if her heart pumped against her chest any harder it would bruise.  
She racked her brains, _what can we talk about now?_ "I'm moving" She knew by his stop-dead reaction that he had misinterpreted her. "Apartment. Moving apartment"

"Oh yeah?" breathing.

She emptied the rest of the bottle in her glass. "Yeah I have been thinking about it for a couple of months now, but now I'm certain. That apartment now holds bad memories and lots of uncertainties. I want to start afresh"

_But there were so many great memories too_. "Where abouts?"

"I found somewhere yesterday", she had expected his shocked reaction. "Its in the area. I can be moved in as early as next week"

"Next week?! What about packing, your lease..."

"Two thirds through" She shook her head, "technicalities don't matter, whatever the cost, I just want out".

"Oh", he watched her polish her champagne and signal the waiter for another bottle. Now it was his turn to be worried. "Well do you need any help moving?"

"No its fine. I'm going to take the two weeks that Skinner offered me..."

"...what about moving your stuff from A to B, I can help you with that"

"No that's alright, Samy is going to hire a company"

"Samy?"

"Yes Samy. Samy is my Tricia"

Mulder smiled; it had really bitten him in the ass this time, Hard. "Me and Tricia, we're not...it was never really serious"

"Oh"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that time...sometimes I forget that you are not a guy", it was a lame excuse.

"Oh", she leaned up slightly, making her breasts more apparent.

"Not that I think you look like a guy", he quickly corrected.  
He took in her red curls, which she had styled into a loose top bun, just the way he liked it. Her blood red lipstick; she nibbled the side of her lip, and it exposed a pearly white tooth. His gaze shifted down to the nude coloured dress she was wearing, _it cups her breasts so beautifully_.  
He frowned at the thought of another man enjoying what had once belonged to him, had filled to nourish his child.  
He realised he was staring and re-shifted his gaze back to her face.  
"At all"

She laughed.  
The waited refilled their glasses and left the bottle.  
"Soo, there is no one?"

"No"

"No?"

"No"

"No?"

"Would you stop that? No"

"I find that hard to believe, someone hasn't caught your eye?"

She was leaning forward now over the table in anticipation of his answer, unaware that he could see the front clasp of her bra or the effect it was having on him…"Ok, there may have been a lady who I met at a game last week, we exchanged contact details"

"What's her name?" _why do I need to know?_

"I can't remember"

"You haven't called her?

"No"

"Why?"

"I'm married to my work"

"Well you should" ..._I think._

_"_Ok, if it will stop you bugging me".  
They both took a sip of their champagne in mutual silence.  
Mulder placed his down to watch Scully, watch her gulp as the liquid passed through her throat, watch the rise and fall of her chest as she drank…"So are you sure you don't need me to help you move. I could help you re-paint the walls"

"No. Why, do you want to help me move?" She looked at him oddly.

"I just don't want you wearing yourself out when you have Matt and Joe here ready to help", he said flexing each bicep.

"No its ok", laughing. "Samy will be back tomorrow"

"Oh he's been away?"

"He's in Dubai working"

"Is this the same guy you told me about before? The one from the bar in Saudi Arabia?"

She rolled her eyes at his foolishness, but couldn't help laughing. "I got it wrong, he's from Dubai"

"That's quite bad Scully, it's a completely different country".

He was laughing at her now but she didn't care. He looked so handsome; his smiling eyes, they were a deep brown in the candle light; his square jaw; his deep laugh cut through her and sent butterflies up her stomach. His lips; the ruggedness was complete with his messy dark brown hair. She lowered her gaze, he was wearing a black shirt, slightly unbuttoned and exposing his toned chest, she flinched and realised that he was staring at her..."Well he's coming back early, just for two weeks, I told him what happened. He wants to make sure I'm ok I guess, and help me move. Then he'll go back for another month..."

_And you're letting him_.  
Mulder's heart sank.  
_Maybe she trusts this imposter more than she ever trusted me. _

They were interrupted by their waiter setting down their main course. They both welcomed the distraction.

**PART IV****  
****Late January 1995, 22:50**  
**Scully's Apartment**

He watched her drunkenly stumble up the steps. He walked close behind, to block her near-exposed rear from the very interested cab driver. He placed a helping hand on the small of her back. It did the opposite; he was also pretty drunk. He quickly rushed to grab her before she made contact with concrete; one of his arms circled her waist, the other got lost in between her dress and bra. She gave him a coy frown.

"Sorry" he muttered, removing his hands immediately.

"Ok"

He stumbled back down the steps, he would watch her from afar; that way his hands wouldn't get him into trouble. He moved again to block Scully from the lecherous cab driver, eyeing him until he begrudgingly shifted his gaze.

"Mulder!"

"Yes" he whipped around, almost causing himself to fall over.  
He took a moment to steady himself before focussing his attention on her.

"Is my handba...is my handbag in the cab?"

He searched.  
"No"

"Shit" she raised a hand to her pounding head "I must have left it in the restaurant"

"Thats ok, we'll just go back", he turned to the cabbie. "How much to go back to the restaurant?"

"Another 20 bucks"

Mulder emptied his pockets, keys fell out, his cheque book and a rumpled 20 and 10 dollar bills. "Scully, you don't by any chance have any money stashed in your bra?"  
He winced as he watched her pretty much expose her chest to the street. She shook her head, too much, and had to re-steady herself. "Thought as much". He picked up his contents from the pavement, "look I'll make you a deal..."

"No can do I'm afraid" and indicated to the sign in the front of the cab, 'Cash Only'.  
Scully wobbled her way down to join them.

"Ok. 10 bucks to Arlington".

**PART V  
Late January 1995, 13:35  
Sim Residence**

Mr Sim cut off the car engine, and threw the keys onto the empty passenger seat next him. He ruffled his already ruffled hair and then focussed his attention on to the rear view mirror. She looked distant, dark circles around puffy eyes, a hand rested on the sleeping baby's stomach. He cleared his throat, but still she didn't flinch. The atmosphere had been tense ever since he picked them up from the hospital. He had been snappy, rude, disrespectful, maybe it was because he had to take a back to back 4 hour indirect flight and a near 2 hour drive to reach them. He went to join his family in the back of the car; his hand rested on hers and they shared a weak smile. He loudly opened the envelop they had given him at the hospital and scanned over the medical report, it might as well have been in Latin.  
"So what is wrong with her?" desperately trying to recognise words in the jargon.

"They don't know for sure, something to do with her anti-bodies not function properly. They will need to do tests"

Mr Sim lolled his head back to prevent his tears from falling. He looked down at his sleeping daughter, who looked like the Michelin man in the padded bunny overall his wife had put on her for the cool January day. She looked so peaceful, her cheeks lay heavy on her chest. He didn't want to believe his message informing that she had been taken to A&E, and had realised that although he may not have wanted to be a father in the first place, he could not imagine his life without her.  
"But she's going to be ok?"

"Her doctor said that if she comes for her injection every four months, and we keep a regular check on the back of her neck. She should be fine, it shouldn't really affect her what-so-ever"

Mr Sim glanced down at the figure at the bottom of the page. "And it's going to cost this much everytime?"

"We were waiting for a while, none of the doctors could tell me what was wrong. They had to get a specialist doctor. He gave me his card and said for us to get in contact with him; he said that because Emily's illness is so abnormal we may get some kind of compensation or something"

Mr Sim only nodded. "And what about the adoption agency, do they know anything about this, maybe this is genetic"

"I'll ask. They said we were lucky to bring her in when we did, another couple of weeks…"

"Well you have to be more alert. How come you only just recognised it?"

"I don't know, how come you didn't recognise it?"

"You are the primary carer, you are the one who gets to stay at home while I work"

"But you change her to…", they stopped as Emily began to stir. "I swear Bob, it was like it infected overnight", she was starting to bubble. He squeezed her hand to let her know that he was sorry and to forget about it. He then unbuckled the half-awake Emily and lifted her out of her car seat, carful that her bunny hood didn't fall. "Careful of her neck", Mrs Sim warned.

He nodded and walked towards the house. "Welcome back baby" and planted a light kiss on her forehead.

**PART VI**  
******Late January 1995, 23:15  
********Mulder's Apartment**

She was laughing at him, hysterically, snorting. "What's the matter, can't find the spot?" snorting louder at her innuendo.

"Hey, at least I remembered my keys". For some reason the comment gave her the fits.  
It opened on his sixth attempt.  
"You know that snort is really unattractive Scully", _it isn't_.  
He let her stumble in first, following closely behind her.  
They bumped.  
She gave him the same coy frown from earlier.  
He shrugged an apology. However instead of moving away, she got closer.

**_Oki I stopped there because this chapter was getting too long_**


	22. Three Little Monkeys

**_Sorry for the late update but music festivals and the olympics were calling.  
I don't think I wrote how old Emily was in the last chapter, bordering 5 months. This is the second part to the last chapter, it would have been so long. I probably didn't need the whole bit with the Scully family, but... I liked it and as the author I get the last say.  
Big thanks to those who review, follow, favourite and everyone else who is reading and enjoying this, even if you don't let me know via a review :)_**

**CHAPTER 22: Three Little Monkeys  
****(Velkommen Tilbage II)**

**PART VI continued.  
Late January 1995, 23:20  
Mulder's Apartment**

Her brain was screaming for her to stop but her body seemed to be badly magnetised to his, as it forced her to slowly inch towards him. Her heart was frozen, head pounding, feet rooted to the spot, and her stomach was in knots – no it was dancing.  
Her head made contact first, and her body made a huge sigh, everything relaxed. She breathed in his scent deeply and it flowed throughout her like nectar. She felt happy, safe; and for that moment all her worries and concerns disappeared, everything was alright.

His entire body tingling with excitement. It had missed the weight of her head across his chest, he rubbed her back soothingly, breathed her in before resting his chin on her forehead. They stayed like this for half a minute.  
What did he feel? Lust for sure; ownership; responsibility; but love? His body was begging him to kiss her, rip her clothes off and make love to her right there on the floor. But at the pit of his stomach something was holding him back, ownership and responsibility. His heart wouldn't let him escape the fact that yes he loved her, but he wasn't sure if he was in love with her. The love he felt for her was fatherly perhaps, but not that love you feel for your other half, your complete. And there was too much to lose over lust. He moved his hand up to the back of Scully's head and rubbed it gently.  
"Scully".

She grumbled. Not wanting to be disturbed from a state that hadn't felt this comforting in a long while.

"Scully we have to get you to bed" and he slowly directed her down on to the couch. He removed her stockings, propped her head on the pillow, and tightly tucked the blanket around her. He pecked her forehead before sitting on the desk chair to watch her sleep, he smiled, his child. When his head made contact with the desk for the sixth time, he left for the second best bed in the house.

…

_They fondly watched the two foot naked sun tanned body run towards the ocean. His brown hair had gone a sandy blonde in the sun, and he had a dimple on his right bum cheek. She had a blue swimming costume on and his oversized white shirt; she had allowed her hair to grow and it too had gone a shade of blonde, her whole upper body had broken out in freckles. "We better go after him before we lose him to the fishes" she mused. She held on to her straw sun-hat as she ran after the little boy.  
Suddenly he heard crying, his son had fallen over…no something much worse…his tears were really loud, almost haunting…he ran past her to get to him quicker…but he wasn't crying…it was someone else…he frantically searched as everything around him started to disappear, apart from the shrilling cries…_

Mulder woke up with a start, then softened, it was just that dream, the one which had visited him so often, soon after his 'unborn child' had been taken from him. 'Unborn child' that was what he had started to refer to her as, he realised it made the pain easier to deal with.  
He was easing back into sleep, when he heard the cries again,_ they were real_…_Scully! _He clumsily rushed out of the bath and into the living room; he found her mumbling loudly, tossing and turning in the blanket.

_He held razor sharp scissors…he inched them past her face…her oesophagus…chest bone. She attempted to scream, but he had gagged her. She tried to raise her head, but he had restrained her. Sweat was racing out of her body, she had to concentrate on breathing.  
She felt the cool metallic near her lower abdomen. She howled, her whole body tensed and raised slightly as she felt the blade cut open her skin…he was pulling something out. She strained to see what it was…a sort of rope? No, her hair! Long and red, entwined with her long red finger nails, each nail that passed felt like a two spiked dagger trying to force itself out of her stomach…_

"No…no…you can't. You can't do this, it's mine, it doesn't belong to you" Scully screamed, clutching her stomach.

_Oh shit Scully_. Mulder saw she was actually trying to break free of the blanket and tiptoed over to help.

"You can't take it from me, its mine" tears flowed down her neck, as she fought to clutch her stomach tighter.

As he got closer he clocked her cradling her stomach. "Oh shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" he was fighting against her as he tried to unravel the blanket off of her. "You can't be remembering, not now", _what the FUCK am I going to say to her?! _He finally removed her from the blanket and picked her up instantly to cradle her in his arms. He wiped her sweaty hair from her sweaty face, her make-up mimicked a De Kooning painting.

She awoke, breathing heavily.  
"Mulder…? Mulder…? What's wrong? What happened?" she looked into his panic stricken face.

He breathed a sigh of relief.  
"You were crying…", he felt like crying, had been, was.

She could see this. "Mulder…it was just a dream. Pfastor".

"Oh, I thought…."

There was silence.  
"You can put me down now"

"Oh" he settled her down and turned away to give her some privacy while she pulled her dress back down and sorted herself out.

"I'm just going to the bathroom?"

He pointed in the direction of his bedroom. "Just follow the wall of boxes"

He sat on the couch, then moved to the desk chair, where he finally allowed himself to settle. He put his face in his hands, and breathed out a long. loud. sigh. _That was too close_.  
His skin was still damp and breathing ragged when she took a seat on the couch. She had washed off all her make-up and wet her hair back, he was reminded of their time in the Caribbean.  
"I'm sorry I startled you. I sometimes have trouble sleeping, according to Samy its a habit" she looked embarrassed and avoided eye contact, twirling the hem of her dress between her fingers.

"Its fine" he cleared his throat, his body still in a state of shock over what he thought was happening to Scully.  
They shared a minute in silence before Mulder rose to make his way back to his 'bed'.

"You're sleeping in the bath tub?"  
They giggled for a good two minutes, until all the delirium had left them. She sobered first. "Will you stay with me?" she half whispered.

"Of course". She shifted so he could sit at the end of the couch. She rested her head on his armpit and looked down at their feet, his reached a good foot longer than hers, she smiled and closed her eyes. Mulder reached to turn off the desk lamp and followed suit.

As he was just dozing off 15 minutes later he heard her mumble. "Sometimes I just feel so empty"

He shifted his gaze to her but she was asleep, the faintest snore coming out of her. "I know". He pulled her in tighter to him and rested a kiss on the top of her head.

…

10:13 found the partners asleep on his sofa. She lay horizontally, using the palm of his right hand as a pillow; and, his left one as a bum-blanket, slightly raising her dress. The first thing that hit her was her head, it pounded, as if inside there was a little monkey clanging symbols together. Then it was her throat and how it craved some sort of liquid, not alcoholic. Her stomach begged for food, and her limbs cried for a nice hot bath and a massage. She closed her eyes again, she had drunk too much last night.  
A few minutes later her brows furrowed when her ears registered the unfamiliar sound of what sounded like Yiddish music escaping through the floorboards, and road works? _There are no scheduled road works_. She fluttered her eyes open and looked down the length of her, _no one wonder I feel cold the duvet fell off;_ she frowned and tutted at the large purple bruise that had emerged at the top of her left thigh; and then, _is that Mulder's hand!  
_She wanted to jump off of the sofa, but she heard a faint snore and didn't want to wake him, _maybe I can escape with my dignity still intact_. Her mind raced over the events of last night as she slowly inched her way out of his clasp, but the loss of the heat had woken him up.

"Hm" he jolted awake and took in his surroundings; his eye caught her pulling down the end of her dress. His head POUNDED! He closed them again as he tried to remember what happened last night. They both welcomed the shrilling rings of the telephone. "Hello" he got up to answer.  
She quickly darted up as she tried to look for her things, then a light bulb went off, she had left her bag at the restaurant. _Where are my heels though?…Ah well there are my stockings_, she bent down to pick them up and then stumbled towards his bathroom, the alcohol not completely worn off.

He was embarrassed by the state of his flat, beer cans, empty take-away boxes and files covered the majority of the surfaces, but it had been entertaining watching her tip-toe her way through it. "…yeah dad, I haven't forgotten. Uncle Freddy's 60th next weekend, I'll be there. Oh wait..." he glanced towards his bedroom "do you think I can bring a plus one?...yeah, maybe" the phone was heavy in his hand and rested it on his shoulder, "fine, I think...no not yet... I don't know dad. Is mom going to be there?...al-right, dad I go to go, next week". He quickly put the phone down, cracked the windows open and hurriedly started to tidy up.  
He had just slung a large black trash bag against the front door when she re-emerged from the bathroom. She walked towards him, something was in her hand, a fist. Suddenly he was afraid but she put it into the trash bag instead, he looked at the contents, her stockings.

"They're ruined" she mumbled.

"So…coffee?"

"Coffee would be great. Can I use the phone?"

"Sure"  
"After we finish our coffees" he called from the kitchen, "we'll get a cab over to the bank, ask him to wait while I withdraw some money; pick us up some croissants from that French café – that is unless you want to sit down and eat" he laughed to himself, _probably not_. She wouldn't be caught dead in what she was wearing during the day. "…Then we'll head over to the restaurant, pick up your bag, drop you off at yours…" he made his way into the living room. "Although I can't promise damage control over the neighbourhood gossip…"

He stopped, she wasn't listening to him, she was smiling down the phone, she found something funny but it hadn't been anything he had said. He rested the coffees on the table. "…ok see you soon…you too" she giggled and then hung up. He took a large sip of his coffee and she took a seat next to him, "mmm, thanks. Samy should be here in about 45 minutes with fresh clothes AND my handbag"

_Woo hoo. And the gold goes to…_

"Do you know what happened to my shoes?"

He thought for a moment. "You left them in the cab, I tried to convince you not to, but you wanted to leave a tip"

"Of course I did"  
That little monkey was still having a party inside her head, she found it difficult to concentrate on anything else; analyse what had happened last night, why - albeit the headache and soreness - them together had felt so right the next morning. She picked up the travel brochure in front of her instead "planning a holiday?" flicking through the pages; "I can't remember the last time I went on a holiday"

"Someone claims to have seen a unicorn in the Amazon rainforest"

She rolled her eyes, "everything with you is an X-File" she muttered but not low enough that he couldn't hear.

He smiled at her comment, "actually my paternal grandparents live in New Zealand, I was thinking of visiting them"

She removed her focus from the magazine to him "my younger brother Charlie lives in New Zealand"

"I know that"

"How?"

"You told me"

"When?"

He just smiled at her as he got up to put his coffee cup in the kitchen, _when we were both planning a visit_. "Don't worry Scully, its just another forgotten memory"

Throwing the magazine aside, she opted to take a shower.

**PART VII  
Later that afternoon, 13:45  
Mulder's apartment**

Mulder was horizontal on his sofa, basketball in hand and on the TV as background noise. Samy had waited in the cab while Scully had changed, much to Mulder's relief. She apologised for the hassle she had caused; told him that she would see him in two weeks; and then left. He was surprised at how ok he was feeling over it; he was not only relieved that he had not met Samy but that he had taken over.  
He stopped the motion of the ball, as he thought on Scully's dream, what she had mumbled, was that a reach out for his help?  
He momentarily resumed spinning, and then stopped. He realised he didn't want her to remember. Passing on part of his ownership and responsibility of Scully over to Samy would mean that he would sleep and get up in the morning that bit easier. He already had enough ownership and responsibility with the X-Files and his sister, even if he had given up them, they had already been neglected enough the past year with 3/4 of his focus on Scully and the baby. He could go back to trusting and needing no one. He needed to move on, hell she had. He looked across at his old friend, Sulu, the little-cymbal-banging-monkey that was propped on his desk for confirmation, he agreed, so so would he.  
It was like a huge brick being lifted off his heart. He threw the ball across the room and got up, then stopped.  
He pulled something out from the couch and laid it across his stomach. To him the doll-sized baby-pink and cream polkadot onsie looked alien across his broad chest, he felt the colours clashed with his navy blue FBI T. He played with the feet, he wondered if this was why Scully had slept so bad, like the Princess and the Pea, only the bruises had been emotional. He wondered if it had the same effect on him and why he had slept more unwell then usual the past year and a half, worrying. Worrying about the impossibility of how they were going to make it work, if they would end up like his parents or hopefully like hers, how would they compromise, work, not be a disappointment to either of them; and, at the end of it, raise a relatively normal child.  
He carefully folded the onsie and placed it as a forgotten item in his mountain of cardboard boxes. He then picked up his cell and dialled Brian Johnson's number, aka social secretary of the FBI, if there was something going on tonight he would know; he wanted to celebrate his new found freedom.

**PART VIII  
Early February 1995, 13:10  
Sim Residence  
5 months**

Emily lay very still under the couch, she rested a hand on Bunny to make sure she also did. A few pieces of bright green fluff were mangled in her brown curly locks; the purple butterfly clip that her mother had been so excited to put in was now hanging on for dear life. Her purple and cream stripped onsie was now adorned with dust and cobwebs. She had discovered a week ago that she could roll with Bunny, and much to her parents pleasure yet dissatisfaction, was her new mode of transportation. She saw a spider move towards her and wanted to say 'hello' to it but then she saw her mother's feet enter the room, she smiled gleefully to herself.  
"Where oh where could my baby Mimi be?" her mother pretenced.

Emily giggled, giggling louder when her mother pulled her out from under the couch, adorning her with tickles. She then gurgled angrily until her mother got the message that she had forgotten Bunny under the sofa. Mrs Sim placed the rabbit in Emily's arms, she hugged it lovingly.  
Emily was as the doctor promised, back to her old self all again, better. The Sims didn't see the need to contact the adoption agency, as long as she had her injections on time, they were sure she would be fine.  
"You little monkey", re-clipping the butterfly then wiping off the dust and cobwebs off of Bunny and Emily. "Now I have to start hoovering under the sofa".

_**So not the ending you guys wanted. Did anything happen between them? Do either of them remember, one maybe and not the other? Truth be told I haven't decided if anything happened between them that night either. Maybe the truth will be revealed later on in the story ;)  
Next chapter: Mulder has to choose between Scully and his sister.  
P.S. I know that this wont be a big thing for many of you but in this fic Mulder was born in 64, so is currently 30 and Scully 68, currently 26 - i know pretty young for a doctor, lets just say she is a whiz at academia.**_


	23. Game Change

**Very long chapter, its mostly dialogue though.**

**CHAPTER 23: Change in the Game**  
**Spoiler: Colony and End Game - An alien bounty hunter kidnaps Scully and wants to trade her for Mulder's sister.**

**PART I  
Late January 1995, 22:25, Day 1  
Rockville, Maryland**

For once he wasn't smoking, he looked tense, apprehensive, and quite rightly so; if things didn't follow plan, the consequences would be severe. It noticed this. "Sir, I want to let you know, that failure is not an option for me"

This awoken him from his trance, and dug into his pocket to pull out a cigarette. "Just remember, the Bounty Hunter is not your friend"

"His intentions seem also to terminate the Gregors sir"

"He has no agenda, so he cant be trusted" he lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply before billowing out a large puff of smoke. "There will be other agents posted. Your main objective is to build up the trusts of the Gregors, and if need be, Mulder. But they must not converse together, they must not find out who the other is and their ties to Bill Mulder. If they do, not only is our use of Mulder as a cover blown but it could disrupt the prosperity of the entire operation. Do not underestimate the importance of this" he was serious, and it took a while for him to draw in another drag.

"I understand sir"

"Good. You don't have to worry about gaining Mulder's trust, you've read her files; and, he will believe that you are really her because that's what his heart will want to believe. You have been briefed what to say?"

"Yes sir. But what about the father?"

"Like Mulder, he will believe because he wants to. You're clear on the exit plan?"

"Yes sir"

"So are the others. One thing that Mulder must not lose is faith that she is alive. Do you have your gimlet?"

"Always sir"

"Good" and he left the car and made way for his own.

**PART II**  
**Early February 1995, 05:04, Day 4**  
**Bellevue, Maryland**

Scully jumped a little when she saw two wide-awake green eyes staring at her. He didn't flinch though, maybe it was a habit. His chin rested on the mattress making it one with his peach lips, his blonde hair had serious bed head, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration. She noticed something black on the side of his face. "Sweetie, what's that on the side of your face?" trying to rub whatever it was off, it wouldn't.

"Aunt Dana, I'm hungry"

"Trent, whats on the side of your face" panic in her voice as it still wasn't rubbing off. She lifted herself up to get a better look.

He jumped out of her reach and chased imaginary flies across the room, stark naked and covered head to toe in these black marks. "Its a transfer" smiling at the pirate one on his arm. "I got bored", he looked her square in the eye, "and now I'm hungry".

She nodded and looked at her portable bedside clock. She groaned inwardly. _How can he be awake this early?_ She glumly watched him swat a few more imaginary flies, _and with so much energy?_ She'd agreed to look after him as a favour to Ellen, because she was his godmother, and because the last time she remembered seeing him was his 4th birthday party. She thought it would be fun looking after him for a week, Day 1 and she was already beginning to eat her words. "Ok", she trailed behind him, dragging the duvet with her. "Trent, why don't you have any clothes on?"

...

She wasn't sure what she was watching but there was a large dog dressed in denim dungarees, riding a bicycle. She heard her cell ring and grimaced at the thought of having to emerge from her goose-feathered cocoon.

"I'll get it" Trent chirped, jumping up from his pillow-made fort. She had convinced him to put on his pyjama bottoms. "Hello, Aunt Dana's phone" he stared intently at her as he tried to understand what was being said to him on the other side of the line. "I am Trent" he said defiantly. He giggled, "no just Trent, I'm 5 years old"; he giggled again, "no i donts have to go to work, I'm 5 years old and it is the weekend...I know because i donts have school...SCHOOL not workings...because I'm a boy not a man, and I have a small tinkle...". Scully frowned and chucking off the duvet went to take the phone off of him, but he wouldn't give it up.

"Who are you talking to?" she whispered

Giggling again "no TRENT...yes, what's your name?...that's a funny name"

Scully raised her left eyebrow, she knew who.

"...um the big hand is on the 11 and the small hand is on the, the 7...ok, Aunt Dana its for you!" giving up the phone to run back to his show.

"Thanks Sweetie. Mulder?...yes his mother's away on holiday...well I don't have to tell you that I'm kind of tied, is it that important?" she rolled her eyes "... alright, alright; I'll see if my mother can take him...right I'll see you in two hours...Mulder you call me on the weekend...good two hours, no I can make my own way" she slammed the cell on the table, causing Trent to stop his rain dance. Scully rolled her eyes, he was stark naked again. _Boys_.  
"Trent we need to get dressed..."

"Are we going to see Fox and the aliens?!" he asked excitedly.

**PART III  
Early February 1995, 18:45, Day 4 - Skinner has temporarily suspended Mulder and Scully from work following the mysterious death of a field agent in Syracuse New York.  
Scully's Apartment**

She opened the door within seconds of him knocking.

_Someone's desperate_

"Life saver" pulling him into the apartment.

"Being rough today are we?"

She went completely crimson and he instantly felt guilty. "I'm sorry, it just popped out" _a momentary lapse of forgetfulness_ "but you can't do me for sexual harassment because we're not at work" trying to make a joke of his inappropriateness.

She chose to ignore the conversation entirely, and her burning cheeks. "Wait, where's the pizza?"

"I'm sure what you cooked is fine" giving her his coat. "Ah, it's different" he said taking in the bare walls and furniture, the stacks of cardboard boxes.

"Yep. Hopefully I'll be moved out completely in about two weeks"

"So your whole moving out in a week didn't go to plan then"

"No" she smiled. There was silence. "Trent!"

"Samy's not here?"

"No. In New York working. Trent!"

"Ah". The awkward silence that followed was interrupted by a bouncing naked five-year-old with a native american headdress on. "Why doesn't he have any clothes on?" he whispered to her. She gave him a helpless shrug. When she met her mother half way near Freeway to pick him up, Maggie had said that he had been as good as gold; obviously he had saved all his mischievousness for her. She lowered herself to Trent's eye level; _which wasn't that far_, Mulder thought.

"Trent this is Mulder, my work partner, who you talked to earlier this morning"

Trent looked at him sceptically and then asked. "Fox who works with aliens?"

"Yes" she said smiling and ruffled his hair.

"FOX!" and he lunged towards Mulder, who had to take a step back in order to catch him.

"Whoa there buddy, boys don't hug when they meet, they shake hands". Trent smiled gleefully and shook Mulder's hand.

"A little bit tighter...there you go...that's a very manly handshake". Trent looked at Scully to see if she was witnessing his achievement, she rolled her eyes at his sheer-joy expression, but was smiling.

"Number two" letting go of the little boy's hand "why don't you have any clothes on?"

"That's what you ask, not what are all those black marks covering his body"

"Transfers" Mulder said simply "What would you rather the real thing?"

Scully gave up and went to sit on the dining room chair to watch the male intellect interact from afar.  
"I like it" Trent said defiantly, "don't you walk around naked?"

"Yeah I do, but not when there is a girl around" he indicated to Scully.

Watching his thought process, you could tell that Trent had never considered Scully as a girl. "Ok" he whispered to Mulder "I'll go put some clothes on" and rushed into the guest room.

"My work here is done"

"Not yet, he needs to eat and have a bath"

"A bath? Boys only need to bathe like once every two weeks, I know I did, or tried"

"That's gross, boys are so smelly" she grimaced "but I need to get those transfers off of him before school on Monday"

"He's got a lot of energy in him..."

"Your telling me, in the two hours we have been back he's made my room, the guest room and the living room into forts, clogged the toilet with his toys and broken two of my vases. Now I know why everything at Ellen's is plastic" she sulked, mourning over her vases, the first items she bought to go with her new life in DC.

"Why don't you take him to the park, let him burn off a bit of energy"

"Because I'm scared Mulder. Do you know how he broke one of my vases. Trying to knock out my elderly neighbour, Mrs Jones, by kamikazing it out the window as she entered the building with her shopping". Mulder laughed. "It's not funny Mulder. You can sit there and laugh because she is not your neighbour, he's not not eating your food, it wasn't your vases he broke, and because you are giant in comparison to him; and I still have SIX. MORE. DAYS alone with him" she sulked.

"Thats right you're only half giant"

Head in hand she used her spare one to whack his top leg.

"Ok" trying not to laugh at her "I'll help you"

**PART IV  
February 1995, 18:45, Day 8 - after Mulder finds out Scully has been taken by the Bounty Hunter  
Mulder's Apartment**

He asked her if she would like anything to drink, but she or It declined. She had also declined offers to rest, eat and use the bathroom. That should have set off alarm bells. In the three days since she had miraculously returned, she had required none. Something that might have been picked up on if Scully had been with them. But for the Mulder family, they had been intoxicated by something that threw all science and logic out of sight and mind.  
After they had received Scully's message from the Bounty Hunter, she excused herself to the bathroom.  
"This is SM017. The Bounty Hunter has Mulder's partner hostage in return for me. Mulder wants to make the trade"

"Has your identity been compromised?"

"No sir"

"Yet he still wants to make the trade?"

"Yes sir. He has a plan sir, but in all likeliness it will fail"

"The Bounty Hunter wishes to make a spectacle of us, I knew he couldn't be trusted. Very well, I will alert the others"

**PART V  
February 1995, 15:35, Day 9 - directly following the burning of the lab of which Mulder is the only survivor. The Samanthas have all perished.  
Mulder's car**

Scully watched father and son interact from the back passenger seat. She had met him before, she knew that by the way he had gone to embrace her, only then to remember something and suddenly retract his gesture. She didn't mean to take a step back, _although in defence, it was more like a child's step_, only she thought it was a little odd. Mulder had not yet introduced them to each other; and she was the reason why his daughter, or who he thought was, was now a puddle of green goo. _I met him when - but I couldn't have been more than a silhouette. It must have been during those 11 months._

"It's ok son, I'll tell your mother" Bill rested a hand on Mulder's, and patted it lightly before going to open the car door.

"Love you dad" he called after him.

"You too son, with all my heart" he said leaning on the door frame. He then smiled at Scully before quietly shutting the door. Scully quickly unbuckled herself to catch up with him.

"Mr Mulder, wait". He turned. "Do I get a second chance at a hug?" He smiled at her and embraced her, the way only a father can give, she missed those hugs. Not that Ahab and her really hugged the older she got, but it was nice to feel like a little girl again.

He pulled away. "You take care of yourself and keep an eye on my son for me. He's all I have"

"Mr Mulder..."

"Call me Bill"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry" _about Samantha._ He nodded in understanding. "And sorry, I didn't realise I had met you before" she lied.

Bill pattered her on the cheek and then walked towards the airport entrance. Scully watched him in and then took a seat in the front passenger seat. She breathed a loud sigh. Buckled herself in. Then sat in silence. Waiting for him to fill her in.  
"You ready?"

She turned to look him straight in the eye. "I've met him before haven't I Mulder?" He nodded but broke eye contact. "When?" she pushed.

"...There was a Mulder family reunion, we were in the area working a case, you tagged along" he half lied.

A cab beeped for them to go.  
Five minutes later she bought up the conversation again. "Have I met your mother?"

"At the same reunion; their the only family she really has" he caught Scully's eye, she seemed interested to know more, she was the first time he told her. "You see my mother came to America an orphan, both her parents were Danish Jews who died during the Holocaust, but as a baby she was taken in by another family who bought her to the states with them. She never really told us a lot about her childhood, but that they married her off when she was 17. She said that she was mostly unhappy during her first marriage; but then she met my dad, divorced her husband, married dad, had two children and was happy; until what happened to Sam"

Scully gave him a weak smile. "Its nice that they still have each other" she thought of her own mother, how a light seemed to be missing from her now that her father was no longer around.

"To an extent. They separated a couple of years after Samantha disappeared and then divorced a few years after that"

"I remember". He caught Scully's eye again and returned her smile; then they both quickly tried to conceal it. "But still their friends?"

Mulder shrugged at her question. He didn't know what his parents were, two people who painfully reminded each other of a united sorrow; wanting to move on but also dependent on each other. "...So what are you doing for Valentine's day?" changing topic.

"Why? Are you asking me to dinner again?" she joked.

"Its a festivity that is near approaching. We have another 25 minutes until we reach Freeway...unless you'd rather talk about work?"

He chuckled at the hell-no expression on her face. "Well if someone didn't take my rental..." she said taking a shot at him.

"...In my defence my mind was on other things"

"But you don't have to act as my chauffeur. I can drive"

"Hmmm" he raised both eyebrows, "I'm not so sure" taking the eyes off the road to look at her.

She glowered at him slightly, realising the event he was using as his defence. "Oh come on, how long are you going to hang that over my head?"

"I got in a shit load of trouble for that you know"

"So did I, surprisingly"._ Not_, they both simultaneously thought. "At least for you, it was just your car that was written off" she mumbled, loud enough for him to hear though. They sat a while in silence.  
"Wait a minute, where IS my rental Mulder?" realising that it wasn't the car she was in.

"It was sacrificed to the explosion"

"What?!"

"Only joking, I took it back"

"How? When I tried to return Ethan's rental..."

"That was Ethan and Dana. We are Mulder and Scully"

"Stop. You'll start rumours"

"There are already rumours"

"Well you'll encourage them". They were silent again.  
"So what you took back my rental only to get another one?"

"No. But you shouldn't use the bureau, its their way of keeping taps on you"

She rolled her eyes, making him smile, despite his seriousness. "So where do you get your rentals from?"

"Anywhere but the bureau" she shook her head at him and his conspiracies. "...But this isn't a rental. This is my own. Hence why I don't want you to drive it" he teased.

You have a car? How did I not know this?"

"Because it spends most of its time collecting dust in my apartment building's car park...as I'm sure yours is too" he said smugly.

"What?!"

"I convinced Skinner that we both needed one" he lied. "... But I wouldn't use it during an assignment in-case..."

"In-case some rogue from the bureau or a mad man uses it to track me back to my apartment" she finished laughing at him

"Lets just say, I am overjoyed that you are moving. But I was deadly serious when I told you not to give work your new address. Dana." They locked eyes. He let out a low laugh, "with your track record; I don't know how you can even make that a joke?"

"Because if you don't laugh Mulder, you cry"

He shrugged his bottom lip, contemplating what she said. "So... you never did tell me what you were doing for Valentines?"

"Samy's flying me out to NYC for a surprise date"

"That sounds nice" knowing that she hated surprises.

"I hate surprises Mulder"

"But it will be a nice one. I like Samy. I think he is really good for you"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you seem much happier" he took his eyes off the road and smiled at her to show that he meant what he had said.

"Gee thanks, now that I have your blessing. What are you doing for Valentine's day?"

"Taking my mom out for dinner"

"Momma's boy"

"And what?" he asked defensively.

"So you didn't call back that lady like I told you to"

"No"

They drove for over five minutes, again in mutual silence.  
"So I'm curious Mulder. After you drop Trent and I off at Ellen's house. How are you going to get back to yours? Or how am I going to get back to mine tomorrow morning if you have the car?"

Mulder's face dropped, there was a fault in his logic. She laughed. "I'll get Ellen to drop me off", figuring out his solution.

**PART VI  
February 1995, 08:20, Day 10 - Mulder unbeknownst to Scully has set off to Alaska to find out more answers about his sister's real whereabouts.  
Bellevue, Maryland**

Only Scully and Ellen were in the house. Trent had gone to his father's for the weekend, and Ellen's now-fiancée was at work, catching up on the week of work he had missed.

"Here is to you surviving a week with my son" Ellen raised her wine glass to Scully. It was a surprisingly sunny day and they were sat in Ellen's glass conservatory, picking at the chocolates that she had bought back from Switzerland, with a glass of California white wine in hand.

Scully met her toast and took a sip. "I have to confess" popping another chocolate in her mouth. "I was called away to work and my mother actually looked after him most of the time. But she loved it. In fact she said if you ever need someone to look after Trent, then she will do it happily. So here's to my mom" raising her glass again and taking another sip.

"I will definitely take her up on that, because noone has ever told me that they were happy to look after my son. How is she anyway?"

Scully mulled the taste of wine and chocolate in her mouth as she thought. "She puts on a good face but I think deep down there is still so much pain"

"Well they were together for a long time"

"Hmmm, she's a lot better than she was over Christmas, Charlie's here with her first grandchild"

"Charlie Scully has a baby!"

"I didn't tell you? A little boy. They are in California at the moment, visiting Bill, showing Eleah around, its her first time abroad. He'll be back next week though. They're planning on staying until Christmas"

"Thats a long time, good for your mom"

"He said that because the flights were so expensive, he wanted to make sure they got their moneys worth. They will travel of course; but I think he did it for mom. Charlie is sweet like that"

"And what about you? Any men in your life?"

"I have a Samy"

"Oooo tell me about Samy"

"He's perfect. Tall, dark, handsome, intelligent..."

"Yes please"

"Ellen" she scolded "you have Steve, who just took you on what sounds like THE most romantic week away"

"He did" she cooed. "Hows work? Your partner, the ass?"

"Mulder's ok. Actually we can't call him an ass because he did the most out of this world thing for me the other day. It was insane, I am still processing it"

"Well don't leave me hanging"

"Now before you panic about what kind of woman you left your son with, remember that Trent was at my moms. So like I told you, I got called into work for this case which turned into a hostage situation between me and Mulder's sister..."

"Wait, what?"

"Let me finish. So Mulder's sister in return for me. And he made the trade"

Ellen's mouth dropped. "The guy chose you over his sister. Oye, his poor mother".

"It was a bit more complicated than that, but ultimately"

"Wow Dana! What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve. I was going to ask you to be a bridesmaid but I think I should keep you away from Steve"

She frowned, shaking her head as she swallowed a mouthful of wine. "No we're just work partners" she wondered how many times she had and would have to say that to people.

They were silent for a moment while they both contemplated Mulder's actions. "And didn't you tell me that his sister was missing or something?"

"Its very complicated Ellen, I wouldn't try to understand it. Or him for that matter"

"Well...so what do you say to my bridesmaids request?"

Scully pretended to mull it in her head, Ellen was just about to object. "I say... YES!"

"Great. Well you should stay here this evening. Some of the uni girls will be coming over, we can all have a big catch up"

"It will definitely be big. It's been so many years since I last saw or talked to any of them".  
Scully instantly felt guilty for not staying in touch better while she had been in California with Ellen, her sister, Charlie, her parents, even Bill, who was in the same state. She was so consumed with her studying and Daniel, that everyone else got forgotten. She didn't want that in DC.

**PART VII  
Day 16 - Mulder and Scully are making their way to the airport to fly home, after Mulder had been dismissed from the field hospital.  
Somewhere in the middle of Northern Alaska.**

She had been driving for the last hour; he had been asleep for the last 50 - 55 minutes. But he woke up when he heard the car engine stop.  
"Hmm" he frowned at the road map that she had rested against him, it had now fallen on the floor. He looked at her to pick it up, she did.

"Go back to sleep Mulder. We still have a while until we reach the airport"

She reached back for his rucksack which she had put in the back passenger seat along with hers. "Then why have we stopped?" he demanded, squinting at the scenery "...in the middle of nowhere?". He frowned as he watched her disassemble the contents in his rucksack, his own personal property. She found what she was looking for, the Canon EOS-50, "with that?"

She opened her car door. "As your out-of-hours doctor, I order you to go back to sleep". She smiled at the hurt puppy dog expression he gave her. "The scenery is so breathtaking, I just want to take a snap" she reasoned, indicating to the clear blue sky that had been cut by snow topped mountains and soaring eagles, an evergreen forest lay thousands of feet below; all idyllically reflected in the clear mirror-like lake.

He agreed, _all that is missing are the prancing deers;_ but he was also feeling childish and sorry for himself. "Some great doctor you are"

"I'll be no more than 30 metres away from you and I'll be back in 2 minutes, tops"

"You realise that is for FBI official use only"

"2 minutes" she closed the door and walked towards the lake.

He opened his passenger door, "I'm thirsty, do we have any kind of water?" he called after her.

"There's a root beer in your drink holder or there's a lake 50 metres away from you" not looking back. He found said drink in front of him, and angrily shut the door, muttering something under his breath.

He was resting his eyes when he heard a car stop behind them. He had no gun on him. He reached into the glove compartment where he hoped Scully would have a gun. She didn't. He cursed. From the rear view mirror he saw a young couple, the man first and then the woman emerge out of the car. Mulder reached back for her rucksack, he watched the couple stretch before admiring the view. Mulder found the gun in the side compartment, _yeah because its SO easy to hand there!_

The woman walked towards Scully, Mulder opened his passenger door but let it hover, Scully was smiling as the woman passed her something..._a camera. "_Only Scully would find tourists in the middle of nowhere" he muttered but relaxed, putting the gun in the glove compartment.  
The driver door opened. "Scully just because we are in the middle of nowhere does not mean you let all sense out of the window" he indicated that he had now put her gun in the glove compartment.

"You do realise that it is only for official FBI business" springing back his joke, he pouted ignoring her gaze and comment. "Oh come on old man, they said they would take a picture of us".

...

"How am I going to explain the photos to Lindlemen when the film needs to be developed?"

"I'll develop them myself" she shrugged, pulling out.  
They were silent for 10 minutes, when they had past the 500 millionth tree, Mulder got bored. He nibbled the inside of his lip and looked at Scully for entertainment, she was concentrating on the road, deep in thought, _thinking about what?_

"Stop analysing me" she murmered but then smiled.

"I'm bored"

"You sound just like Trent"

"Yeah, how is the little monster?"

"Out of my hair. I am seriously rethinking my desire to have children"

"You want children?" he asked pushing himself up so that he could focus on her more.

Scully felt her cheeks burning, this wasn't a conversation she pictured having with Mulder. "Not anymore" she joked.

"I think you would make a good mom"

"Right. 80% of the time I had Trent, he spent with my mom; when he was actually with me, you were there 85% of the time".

"It will be easier when the time comes"

"Yeah well, not for a while"

"Does Samy want kids?"

She shrugged and looked at him. "I've only known him for two months Mulder".  
There was silence for another 10 minutes before Mulder got bored again.

"So thank-you for travelling all this way, and saving my life" he said in a jokey voice, although they both knew he was serious.

"Right back at you. We'll consider them Valentines gifts"

"Did you enjoy Samy's surprise?"

"Yes" she said in a sarcastic tone, making him wonder why. "It was a great surprise. Spending 17 hours at my partners hospital bed, wondering when he was going to wake up"

He looked at her to see if she was serious. "Sorry" he mumbled, shifting his gaze to his lap. "Actually my valentines from you would have been that smile you gave me when I woke up, talk about a full watt" the tips of his ears burning.

She laughed. "That's because I was worried I would be down in that basement all by myself"

"I guess I have some apologising to do to my mom too"

"She called while I was in your apartment. I told her you were out in the field and you couldn't get to your phone"

"At least I know she has forgiven me for..." he stopped, sighed, and looked out the window.

"Sorry"

"Don't apologise Scully" he said sternly. "You're my partner, you got messed up in my families' affairs, it was my choice. I just hope it wasn't the wrong one"

She didn't know how to reply to that, so just kept silent.  
He was worried that he had made her more of a target. He had tried to steer from those cases but it looks like they had found them, or him anyway...

"Did you ever really think it was her?"

"I wanted to believe" his attention still hadn't shifted from the scenery outside. "She's out there somewhere Scully but it will mean more danger and uncertainty just like this case and ..."

"We'll find her Mulder" resting a hand on his.

**PART VIII  
****Early March 1995, 6 months old.  
Sim Residence**

"Honey!" she heard him call while mid-loading the washing machine, she rolled her eyes, she had a long list of things to get done today, he was supposed to be helping so she could get them done faster, he was doing the opposite. She chose to ignore it. He called her again, "honey come quick!" She stalked out of the utility room, picking up her pace when she thought that maybe there was something wrong with Emily.

"Whats the matter?" her eyes darting around the room, expecting to find bedlam but instead found her husband bare foot, squatting on the floor, with his arms out like a seal, neither supporting or holding anything. Emily stood warily about a metre and a half away from him. "Bobby? Why were you screaming the house dowww... she's standing!" She gasped and quickly but cautiously went to squat next to her husband. "How is she doing that? She's only just turned 6 months, all the baby books..."

"She's doing more than that" Mr Sim grinned. "Come here Mimi". Emily giggled and wobbled towards her father, embracing his hug.

Mrs Sim was shocked to say the least. "She shouldn't be doing that until she is at least 9 months. She didn't even shuffle or crawl" she managed.

"Just call her super-baby!" he said lifting her horizontally in the air, causing Emily to break out in a fit of giggles; but Mrs Sim wasn't smiling. He put he down, "go on, walk to mommy"

"No Bobby, don't encourage her"

"Oh come on Gabbie, you can't be serious"

Mrs Sim scooped up her daughter. "I am. I don't want her to overwork her muscles, it could be causing more damage for her later development"

"What are you even talking about? Look, does she looks like she is in much pain to you" he gestured towards Emily who was happily playing in her mother's Monroe-coloured white-blonde hair.

"No she doesn't look like she is in pain but I am not a paediatrician and neither are you" she picked up Bunny and stalked out the room.

_**Next: Scully remembers - spread over two chapters**_


	24. Isaiah 11:6

_**So first sorry for the late update, this chapter has been written for the last two weeks but because it is the the first part of an episode of whatever you call it, I like to write both parts before uploading, as it prevents mis-matches etc. My excuse...I was going to say that it was because of school work - which is true the workload is insane but in my free time I have been trying to finish the men who hate women trilogy. Anyway almost finished so hopefully the next update will be on time. Without further ado:**_

_**N.B. Matilda and Emily are the same person.**_

**CHAPTER 24: Isaiah 11:6  
Takes place between S2E18-19.**

**PART I  
Late February 1995  
Scully's old apartment**

He stood in the apartment door entrance, taking in the bareness of it all. There wasn't even a mat outside for him to wipe his feet. Her landlord had asked for the spare key, she knew she didn't have it as she had considered giving it to Samy; so naturally she presumed Mulder.

_He shut the door behind him and dropped the keys as he made quick to catch a running four year old. She waddled behind._

_"Fox!" the little girl strangled his neck and torso with her limbs_

_"Hello baby" he managed. "I was only gone for four hours, did you miss me that much?". She over emphasised a nod and tears started to form in her eyes. He placed a tender kiss on Scully's lips before re-focussing his attention back to his daughter. He would never tire of her face. Big brilliant-blue eyes, red rose lips and dark brown hair, plated in half a pony tail, long and curly to her waist. She was the mirror image of his sister. He tickled her to stop her tears from falling, and she threw her head back and giggled. "What are you going to be like when you start school in August, and your away from your mommy for the whole day?"_

_She abruptly pulled herself away from his embrace. Her eyes widened first, then the eyebrows knitted together, mouth frowned; lastly, like always, the tears started to well. She whimpered and searched for Scully._  
_"Mulder" Scully scolded, accepting the outstretched arms of their daughter. "Not so tight baby, remember"; the little girl instantly loosened her hold. Scully soothed her tears,"I know, did daddy make you cry?" waddling them towards the little girl's bedroom._

_It was now Mulder's turn to roll his eyes at her. "Scully" following behind, "she is going to have to learn to be apart from us, or she will get picked on at school. They will call her 'cry girl' or something more imaginative". She closed the door with green and purple letters that spelt 'Matilda Samantha' in his face.__"You're going to have to start sending her to some kind of day care so you can both learn to be apart from each other". __She didn't reply. _

_He slowly opened the door; the room hadn't changed in five years. Scully was nestled in the same nursing chair he had taken from his mothers over five and a half years ago; the little girl, dressed in her baby-pink and cream polkadot leotard, had moulded herself around Scully's bump.  
__"Matilda you are going to love school so much" Scully cooed, stroking her daughter's long hair "Anna, Isobelle and Leah will be there too"_

_She played with her mother's cross. __"But I'll miss you too much"_

_"And I will miss you to baby girl, so much" giving her a tight hug and kiss on the forehead._

_"So why can't I stay home with you?" the same blue made eye contact. _

_"Because you have to grow up" he interjected, "you're a big girl now and big girls have to go to school. But you don't have to worry" he leaned in "because everyone is going to want to be your best friend, and you're going to be the smartest girl in your class"._

_"Mulder" Scully scolded_

_"What she is? And then you will become the smartest woman in the world, but you cant become that unless you go to school. Ok?"_

_"Ok daddy" she said moving over to give him a kiss._

_"I'll tell you what. Every week you don't cry because daddy has to go to work or because you have__ to leave your mommy, I'll buy you a present"_

_Scully rolled her eyes.  
"Really!?" the little girl's face lit up_

_"Is it a deal?"_

_"Deal" she said rubbing their noses together._

_"Ok, how about we go to the park for some fresh air and ice cream?"_

_"Ok!" she jumped up. "I'll just get my fairy wings"._

_He helped Scully out from the chair.  
"What?" he asked over her incriminating look._

_Scully shook her head at him but smiled. "She has you wrapped around her little finger Mulder. We wont be worried about her not wanting to go to school but her not turning into Veruca Salt" she placed a kiss on his chin._

_He smiled, it was true. He rested a hand on the blue alien that looked as fresh as they day Scully painted it, all those years ago. Back then he never imagined that they would be so happy._

Mulder removed his hand from the blank-white wall, and breathed a deep sigh. He left the keys on a kitchen counter, took one final look around Scully's flat before he said goodbye to the memories that it did and hoped it would hold.

**PART II  
Late February 1995, Day 2, 23:25  
Harrisburg Hospital, PA**

The paramedics barged the stretcher through the hospital doors."Two gun shot wounds, chest and lower abdomen..."

"Page Dr McQueen"

"...he lost consciousness about ten minutes ago but airways are clear; neither CPR or defibrillator used due to the points of impacts; definite deformity in the right upper costa, also because of the angles of impacts, maybe several organs; no sign of disability..."

"move him on three, three"

"...weak pulse; and he's lost a lot of blood"

"Ok" the nurse, alleviating control from the paramedics, "Prep for emergency surgery" she ordered.

"Excuse me" she burst open the door, "I'm Dana Scully, Fox Mulder's partner..." she faltered when she saw that he had lost consciousness; she checked the monitor, his vitals were very low.

"Mam you can't be in here" a nurse started to guide them out the O.R room.

"No, I'm a doctor...".

"No matter, a child cannot be in here" she indicated to the child attached to her, who'd hidden behind her back. Scully had forgotten he was there; she glanced back up at the nurse. "Mam, you need to take your son and wait in the waiting room", the door closed in her face.

"Wait" swinging the door open "he's O negative", the nurse nodded before closing the door again. After a few seconds, Scully tightened her grip on the little boys hands, _the nurse is right, I need to get him out of here. _She went on her tiptoes so she could look through the glass, there were lots of hands, she wanted to be in there too, she felt so helpless on the other side. _I'll be back Mulder, just hang on_.

**PART III  
Late February 1995; Day 2; en-route to Glenmoore, PA; 13:20  
Rental car**

The road map lay open in her lap, her nose in 'Men are from Mars, women from Venus'. He absently looked over at her and laughed, recognising the book.  
"What?"

"That book?"

"I found it while I was unpacking. It must belong to Missy. What about it?"

He shrugged in reply. "Are we on track?"

She rested the book on the dashboard and studied the map. They past a road sign. "Yes", and picked her book back up.

He chuckled.  
"What?!"

"I thought you'd be more engaged with this case"

"Why?"

"Because of its religious connotations"

She continued her questioning stare.  
"That cross you wear around your neck"

She delicately rested her hand on it. "Its a new-age Christian religion"

"Christian none the least". He was challenging her, trying to spark interest.

"Catholicism doesn't believe in reincarnation"

"They believe Jesus rose from the dead"

"What they are claiming is preposterous, scientifically impossible"

"Scientifically improbable, but this case has proven it possible"

"A reincarnated mass murderer in the body of a four year old child? Just saying it sounds idiotic"

"So the fact that this child has been able to uncover ten burial sites of missing women with the killers M.O., and may be able to identify three other accomplices, means nothing to you?"

"Its odd; but it doesn't automatically mean reincarnation, someone very much alive could be telling him all of this. Their just laughing at us Mulder" she muttered.

"Who?"

"Whoever assigned us this case, they did it for their own amusement"

"I requested this case". Scully raised her left eyebrow. "This is what we do on the X-Files, we investigate the paranormal"

"Well, I look forward to writing my report". The comment was supposed to piss him off, and it did.

"You know a lot of other agents wanted this case"

_He isn't going to make me feel guilty_. "And why pray did they choose us?"

"Because of our expertise" she arched her eyebrow at him, she knew that tone of voice, and that there was more. "Me, being a psychologist and you being a highly qualified doctor and scientist".

_He's buttering me up. _"Why else Mulder?"

"...Because we are both sex partners; and having a female agent for the four year old was beneficial"

"Unbelievable. So it wasn't because of my expertise but my stereotype?"

"No"

"But in the end, that was our leverage. I'm hardly maternal Mulder. I'm a complete klutz when it comes to children"

"That's not true"

"It is, and I'm not a highly qualified doctor or scientist because I didn't specialise in any field, I joined the FBI"

He decided to end the discussion there. There was clearly something else besides work that was bugging her. He glanced at the rear view mirror to check on their passenger in the back, he was still asleep.  
After a few minutes staring at the scenery, she turned to check on the passenger, picked up her book again, and the drive continued in almost total silence.

**PART IV  
Late February 1995; Day 2; Glenmoore, PA, 14:45  
C.R.J ****Commune**

Mulder parked near the wooden gate and unbuckled. He turned to the passengers in the back. Scully avoided his eye, but he made direct contact with the little boy; who, much to Scully's dismay, had been wide awake for the last half an hour. He gave Mulder a big gappy-teeth smile and swung his legs in excitement.  
"Ok looks like we have to walk from here. Can't be more than half a mile..." he ignored her eye roll, focussing on the happy child. "You ready to see your mom Isaiah?". He nodded and smiled for a good ten seconds, causing Mulder to laugh; even Scully couldn't help but smile. Mulder flashed her a smile, but there was none in return for him. "Ok, lets go".  
He unbuckled the boy out of the booster seat, and suited him up; while she updated Skinner.  
She caught up with them a quarter of a mile down the road. As per his request, Mulder took the little boy off his back, who instantly grabbed Scully's hand; he sang whilst swinging each partner's hand in his happily.

They slowly walked with just the boy's song for noise.  
"Skinner isn't too happy about us being here" she said in a very low voice.

"No. I can't imagine he would be" matching her voice level.

"Its too dangerous Mulder..."

"The boy has been away from his mother for over two and a half months Scully" he stopped their pace.

"This has nothing to do with that" her voice raising. "You are here for your own selfish reasons and you've bought this child with you as cover" she was shouting now. Isaiah halted his song and swinging; he frowned at Scully wondering why she was angry, and why she had ruined his and Mulder's fun.

"We're both armed. He has his vest on and his helmet" knocking on it, "is anyone there?"

The little boy laughed, "ME!", and started to swing on Mulder's arm.

"All it takes is one bullet at the neck and he could be dead or paralysed" lowering her voice again.

Mulder looked down at the boy, who was looking right back at him. "I know what I'm doing" he bent down so that Isaiah could climb on his back. Scully went to help, but Isaiah pushed away her hand. She had been blacklisted, by both of them. "I wouldn't purposefully put him danger" Mulder said, resuming pace.

"That is exactly what you are doing!" she called after him.

...

Scully allowed some breathing space between her and Mulder. She lingered when the path came to a rotated T junction. She looked left and saw that they had almost reached the settlement, a crowd of people had come to meet them. Isaiah was running towards someone, _probably his mother_. She looked back to the path in front of her and noticed what looked like an remodelled wooden barn, a sign with the words 'CRJ CHURCH' stood next to it. _Investigate?_

The building was bare, cold and dark. There was a chill that made Scully's hairs stay on end. She sniffed, there was a strange smell, some kind of incense. She looked up the length of the building, some candles were alight at the top of the alter, she decided she would light one for her father.  
She was putting her candle in a holder when she noticed a small wooden table, she bought her candle closer to see what was on it: a chalice and a white painted wooden mask with feathers coming out of it. In the corner of her eye, she made out a sealed passage with a lock on it, she moved to get a closer look...  
"You are on sacred ground" a voice boomed from behind.

She jumped. "I was just lighting a candle".  
The voice came into her candlelight to show a stocky 5ft 9 man, his face just visible in the poor light; his skin was dark like mahogany. He laughed, filling up the whole building. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry I didn't realise this was sacred, I'm a Christian myself" she indicated to her cross. He leaned in to get a better look, his lips inches away from her chest, she caught a glimpse of his impressive muscles and unconsciously licked her lips. He noticed this and smiled.

"You are with the man who bought my son?" he spoke with a heavy accent.

"Isaiah? Yes. I was just ..."

"You wanted to learn about my church"

"No. That's my partner. I am here against my will"

"Then go". He laughed again, giving her a toothy smile, her heart skipped a bit, she could see who Isaiah had inherited his smile from. And she couldn't conceal hers.

"I can't. I am responsible for your child's protection"

"Well I thank-you" he leaned in so close to her that their noses were almost touching, she didn't know why she didn't pull away, she was in some kind of trance. "But I think there is someone inside you, someone who is wanting to come out", he scanned her face. "Yes someone very close, someone you have lost, forgotten" he saw her wince "a parent maybe?" he searched her eyes, she winced "your father? I can lead you to him"

"Scully?"  
She jumped again, causing their noses to bump. She took a step back.  
"You ok?"

"I'm fine"

"Well there is a kid out there who's claiming he's..." he stopped when he saw how close the man was to Scully. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes Mulder, I'm fine" she strained. "Where's Isaiah?"

"With his mother. You got to see..."

"Were not supposed to leave him on his own Mulder" walking past him, thanking God that it was dark enough for him not to see her blushing cheeks.

"Didn't you hear me, he's with..." but she'd left the building.

...

The women directed her to the last 'house', it looked more like a hut. Scully knocked before entering. She found Isaiah cradled in the arms of someone who couldn't have been more than a child herself. She hummed a song, whilst stroking his black curly locks, placing kisses on his forehead.  
"Isaiah, I'm sorry but we are going to have to leave". They both jumped at the intrusion of Scully's voice, and stared at her with their leaf-green doe-like eyes. Her face looked pale and withdrawn, bags circled her eyes. "I'm Dana Scully" she flipped open her badge. "One of the agents in charge of Isaiah"

Isaiah hid himself in his mother's long red hair. "Yes. Thank-you for bringing my son to me. I've missed him so much and I'm not allowed to leave the commune" tears rolled down her cheek and she placed a firm kiss on his forehead.

"Mrs..."

"Julie. Its just Julie"

"How old are you Julie?"

"Almost 18. The other man, he said that someone had fired at Isaiah a few days ago?"

"Yes. They think it was warning from one of the accomplices" she watched the girls face crumble "but that is why Agent Mulder and myself have been assigned. For your son's protection and if everything goes to plan, he will be back with you this time tomorrow"

Scully frowned when Julie let out an unexpected melancholy laugh. "Until the next one"

"Excuse me?"

"David says that once Isaiah has testified and the evil soul inside him is able to redeem itself, it will leave his body. But soon another one will become part of him and ..." she stopped, there was movement outside. Scully reached for her gun, but put it back in its holster when Mulder and the man from earlier walked into the tiny house.

"Now its a party. Scully I know you met, but I don't know if you were officially introduced to David? He is the head of this commune and the church priest"

Scully nodded in David's direction and prayed that her cheeks wouldn't betray her. "Mulder we have to go before it gets dark"; he nodded in agreement. They watched as David crossed the room over to Julie

"You have been crying" he placed his hands on Isaiah's shoulders and pulled him towards him. "I keep telling her not to be afraid that this time it is an evil spirit that had decided to take over our son's body. It is what makes him special. Powerful. Isaiah" he pronounced it I-zi-yah "11:6"

"...And the child shall lead" Scully finished. "What spirit is in you?" Mulder winced at Scully's incriminating tone.

"The spirit of God. And all my children possess the spirit and power of Jesus"

"Excuse me, you said this time? Are you saying that a previous spirit has taken over Isaiah's body?" Mulder queried.

Julie nodded timidly.

"By who?" the curiosity was distinct in his voice.

"My brother, Kean, who died six years ago. He stayed for a month before he said good-bye" she replied.

...

As they emerged further into Harrisburg metropolitan, Mulder noticed the black van behind them, which unbeknownst to the partners had been trailing them for the last ten minutes. Mulder watched it as it turned left at the next turning, Mulder turned right and thought nothing more of the van driving in the opposite direction to them.

**PART V  
Late February 1995, 20:30, Day 2.  
Sheraton Hotel, Harrisburg, PA**

She walked into the living room and tapped his shoulder. "Tag, you're turn"

He was engrossed in something on her laptop.  
"What?" taking off his spectacles.

"He wants you to bathe him" selecting a few grapes from the fruit bowl, she shrugged. "I guess its because you're a man and he's a boy...". He looked away, he still found it difficult to watch her put things in her mouth, let alone eat them. "What are you doing on my laptop?"

"Researching"

"Reincarnation?"

"David says that it takes three days in isolation for another soul to take over a person"

"Mulder, I think David is actually the or one of the accomplice killers, and it has been him feeding the information to Isaiah"

"Oh and back there I thought I was about to witness you doing the wild thing with yet another..." her glance made him stop. He cleared his throat, "you think he would have taken shots at his own son?"

She wasn't sure. "Maybe a warning from one accomplice to another...Did you realise that all those children where his? What is going through those women's heads?" she picked a grape.

"The promise that their child would come back as a lost loved one, I can see the catch"

She twitched the left side of her mouth, indicating that she still thought it was a poor reason. "You know, we really should request to do more state jobs. Posh hotel, room service, internet, a jacuzzi for a bathtub..."

"Mul-der!" Isaiah's faint call came from the bathroom. Scully grinned at Mulder as he slugged off into the other room.

...

She felt something move underneath her hand and woke up instantly, reaching for her gun but then realised her surroundings. She smiled at the tired green eyes that were looking up at her. Julie had told her the mistake she made last night; Isaiah needed someone else in the room with him to sleep, so he would know that the evil inside him wouldn't get him. She stretched in the chair. "What is it Isaiah?"  
She didn't know that on top of the building across the street, two marksmen were setting up their equipment.

Mulder met them at the bedroom door "What's going on?".

Their movement had taken both Mulder and the marksmen by surprise.  
_Night a lot better than day, sooner rather than later._

"Drink and toilet brake" she mumbled, envious of the fact that he had the comfort of the sofa, and she only a chair, when there was a king-sized bed waiting for her in the other room.  
The marksmen took position.

"Ok" he made his way back to lie down on the sofa, but spotted red dots on Scully's and Isaiah's pyjamas out of the corner of his eye. He thought fast and lunged to prevent their shots.

**PART VI  
March 1st 1995, Day 3, 09:25  
Dauphin County Court, PA**

"Ok thanks" she put the phone back in her pocket.

"Is Mulder going to be ok?" Isaiah was holding on to her trench-coat pocket. She knelt down to his eye sight level.

"He's going to be fine. Just like I told you yesterday, see I was right?" he overemphasised a nod. "Ok Isaiah, all you have to do is tell them what they want to know and then I can take you home to your mother, ok?" Another nod and a wide smile.

**PART VII  
March 3rd 1995, Day 5, 10:10  
Harrisburg Hospital, PA**

He couldn't deny his disappointment when the blurry blob turned out to be a nurse not Scully. He'd woken up in the early hours of the morning and spent the time since waiting for her.  
"Has a Dana Scully been to visit?" he asked.

"Yes!" she said, as if a penny had dropped in her brain and she just remembered. "Sorry, I just started my shift. I told them to tell you when you woke up"

"Tell me what?" wanting her to hurry up, he felt the colour drain from his face. "Is she ok?"

"Yes both she and her son were unharmed. They popped by two days ago to see you but you were unconscious from surgery".

"Did she say anything?"

"Yes" he watched her scan her brain "...That she was going to take Isaiah back"

"That was two days ago, no other message has been left?"

Although he didn't show it, she could sense his panic. "No sorry sir there hasn't"

"Is there a phone I can use?"

_**Next Chapter: Mulder and Samy meet**_


	25. Reincarnation

**_Ok i apologise for this chapter, some of the wording isn't that great, you will be able to tell the parts I wrote in a haste, I just wanted to get this chapter up. But you will hopefully get the gist. Je suis desole for any typos._**

**CHAPTER 25: Reincarnation  
Isaiah 11:6 part II  
**

**PART VIII  
March 1st 1995, Day 3, en-route to Glenmore, PA, 14:25  
Rental car**

From the rear view mirror, Scully stared at the sleeping form in the back seat. In the interrogation room, Isaiah's screams could be heard all the way down the corridor when they had tried to escort Scully out. So they obliged her to stay. Her eyes winced over the memory of what she had witnessed in that room. She was disturbed, almost traumatised at how such an evil persona could overtake and consume a sweet little boy. Isaiah's posture, voice, even the way he had looked at her, still sent shivers down her spine. She wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't witnessed it in person. She turned her view to the scenery outside as she blinked away her tears. _How would have Mulder reacted?... a psychological break through._ Imaging his expression, she let out a laugh and wiped away her tears. He was still unconscious, she thought and her face darkened again. She refocussed her attention on the rear view mirror. Isaiah's cheek was heavy against the seat belt and he snored quietly in his carefree sleep. _This is how he should always be, carefree._

**PART IX  
March 3rd 1995, Day 5, 13:35  
CRJ Church, Glenmore, PA.**

Scully knelt and hovered her head over the bucket, she could feel it making its way up, although from where and with what she didn't know. She hurled another round of vomit into the bucket. When she was sure no more was going to come out, she pushed the industrial-sized bucket back into the corner, and with an effort pushed herself to the opposite wall. She felt so weak and her whole body ached, it must have been the eighth time she had been sick in about five hours. They told her that this would happen, _but how can it prolong_, she had nothing left in her. She lolled her head back on to the cold dank wall and tried to breathe. Her skin was too tight on her skeleton. _Its all part of the process_. That is what they had said. She tried to fight a smile, _at least it is coming out of this end and not the other_. She forced the smile down, it hurt to much.  
_Sleep_. She lowered herself onto the ground, the thin material from the dressing gown they had given her didn't protect her from the coarse dirt floor, it felt like pins on the right side of her body. She rested her head on her right arm so as to protect it from the harsh stones. _One more day...or was two. Soon, soon when I am reunited with my father - my miracle child this...this will all be worth it._ The women had assured her it was the best feeling in the world, and soon she would feel it too. Her head wooed again, I must sleep. The sweet smelling incense,_ too strong_; the heat, t_oo hot_; her skin, _too tight_. She needed to sleep.

**PART X  
March 3rd 1995, almost 6 months and one week  
Sim Residence**

Mrs Sim watched with distainful sorrow, Emily try to tackle the challenge of getting a decent sized spoonful of her sweet potato mash actually on her spoon. She was confused at how she felt over her daughter's rapid development. One part of her felt proud but there was also a nagging part that wanted Emily to stay totally dependent on her. She wasn't quite ready to give that part up. Her friend Sophie, who's daughter was almost thrice Emily's age still could not walk or even comprehend that she could manoeuvre a spoon into her mouth by herself. Still Dr Calderon had said that it was not abnormal and that there are other blessed few who are as gifted as Emily, and to take it as a achievement of their exceptional parenting.

Unlike his wife, Mr Sim couldn't have been more overjoyed, and he was already looking into private schools in the San Diego area, and the prospect of her going to Yale or Havard, maybe even America's first female president.  
"_She is only 6 months old_" his wife had warned, but couldn't not share the joy that was emulating from her husband._ A baby had been the right decision._ Emily made them complete, and her husband loved her just like she knew he would.  
They both glanced away from the entertainment of 'Emily learning to use a spoon' to look at each other and smiled. "What?" she asked.

Mr Sim's eyes danced between his wife's and his daughters's eyes. "That look, that look she's doing right now"; indicating to Emily's pursed lips, eyebrows knited together, cheeks rouged from her determination.

"What about it?"

"I've seen it before. I've seen it on you"

"Really" she couldn't hide her beaming smile. "I've seen it before too"

"Your reflection"  
Mrs Sim shrugged. And leaned over to kiss her husband.

**PART XI  
March 3rd 1995, Day 5, 13:45  
Glenmore, PA**

A loud scraping noise interrupted her near slumber. She lifted herself up and banged her head on the cold stones, willing the noise to stop. More noises added to it and she banged her head more fiercely, but it only got louder. She felt like crying, and let out a piercing scream. The noise stopped momentarily but then started again, louder. She shakily picked herself up and curled up into the far corner of the space she was in, trying to escape the noise. Suddenly a light cracked, getting bigger, infiltrating her tiny space, it burned her eyes, she turned her face into the dank walls. She felt a hand examine her and relaxed instantly, she recognised that touch. _Her father? _She turned her head round and slowly opened her eyes.

"Scully?" Mulder wasn't sure if she recognised him. She looked impossibly frail, her face ashen, her eyes dark and hollow, her lips thin. The eggshell silky garment she was wearing hung loose on her. He quickly straightened the robe up, knotting the cord around her tiny waist, tight. And all though his gun shot wounds cried out to him to stay still, he clambered her up into his arms and made for the exit. He was seeing red. A strong force, who he could only assume was David tried to stop him, but he knocked him out of the way. Ignoring the commotion and the stares, he didn't allow himself to catch his breath until he had buckled Scully's zombie-like form in the passenger seat of the new rental.  
He slammed her door shut, and allowed himself to take everything in. He looked down himself, both wounds had opened, two small pools of blooded tainted his white T. He went to check on Scully but something caught his eye. David and his women were not for behind, nearing the gate, walking towards his rental. He rushed round to the driver seat and started the ignition. _Where were all the children? _He would have liked to seen Isaiah, let him know that he was ok; but _fuck do I want to stay in this freak place any longer_. He went to reverse off, but one of the women ran towards him. _Isaiah's mom_, she was carrying something. He applied the breaks, looked warily at David, who like the other women had stopped their advancement.

He wound down the window.  
"Her clothes"  
Mulder accepted the bundle, Scully's FBI badge, cell and weapons lay on top. He placed them on the dashboard.

_She is so young_. "Let your son know that I am OK".  
She nodded; and, with that he three point turned and sped down the dirt track road.

**PART XII  
****March 3rd 1995, Day 5, en-route to Harrisburg, PA, 14:15  
****Rental car**

They had been driving for fifteen minutes. With every minute that passed she felt more revived, her body still felt weak but she had gained energy. Her surroundings slowly started to sink in. What she had done, what she was about to do. A chill went down her, and she became concious of what she was wearing, or the lack of it. The material was pathetic and almost see-through, and she was naked underneath. She looked down to her nipples, the cold had made them erect. She felt the chill on the left side of her, _he__ must have his window open_. Out of the corner of her right eye, she could see her clothes on the dashboard. _I'm going to have to address him sometime_. She drew in a deep breath, collecting her courage. "Mulder can we please pull over", her voice not giving away the fact that she had just been rescued by her ailing partner.

This sent a fire through him. _Anger or admiration?_ He wasn't sure.

His bottom lip moved but he made no indication of hearing her. She looked down his form and saw the pool of blood on his T. H_is gun shot wounds have opened_, _because of me_.  
"Mulder please I'm cold", more timedly.

His bottom lip moved again and he danced his fingers on the steering wheel, before finally pulling over. He turned off the engine and got out of the car in one quick move, slamming the driver door behind him. He walked a few metres up the road to give her privacy.  
Scully watched from her passenger seat. Did she feel like crying? _No_; and went to retrieve her clothes from the dashboard.

...

He refocussed his attention on the car when he heard one of the rental doors close. She had dressed, albeit the slight bagginess of the clothes, she looked her normal self. He smiled to himself, she had to be admired, _she doesn't let herself fall, no matter the situation. _He watched her stride towards the driver door and frowned.  
"Scully"

He stopped her as she was about to take the drivers seat. _Her face looks so skeletal;_ her clothes couldn't hide everything.

She avoided his eye. "I need to get you to the hospital Mulder.."

He scoffed. "No I think it is I who needs to get you to a hospital Scully"

She made eye contact. "I'm fine Mulder, apart from projectile vomiting, nothing happened"

He opened his mouth to say something, but the look that she gave him, made him shut it, for now. They held each others gaze for a few seconds before she averted them down his body. She reached for the hem of his T.  
"What are you doing?" shocked by her sudden movement, he pushed away her hands as he felt a twitch against his leg.

"We need to bind your wounds" she said, collecting her blouse from the back seat. "You didn't call for back up?"

"That Jack-Ass, McCoy! He shouldn't have let you go by yourself on the first place", he muttered. He caught the twitch of her mouth and mimicked her smile. "...I let Skinner know where I was going"

Scully nodded, knowing that he hadn't wanted to compromise her and have her labelled as 'a damsel in distress'. She reached for the hem of his t-shirt, he stopped her again. "I can take it off". He all of a sudden felt like a five year old, _how the roles had changed so quickly, _he thought as she make-shifted bandages from their tops, in a derelict highway, in the middle of Pennsylvania.

**PART XIII  
March 3rd 1995, Day 5, 20:00  
Scully's Apartment**

"OK one more step" Scully puffed. She was exhausted. All the driving, waiting; the day; the case; week; life on the X-Files; and, to top it off she was helping haul up the stairs - because the lift was _conveniently_ broken - X amount of pounds of Mulder.  
This evening, Mulder was under her watch in case he fainted or needed help moving around. She thought, it was the least she could do and would mean she wouldn't be worrying all night. He assured her he wouldn't trouble her longer than this evening as Jenny would be back tomorrow, and he could stay at hers. _Whoever Jenny is_.

He let out an over the top groan, "your going to need to give me a massage when we get in". She smiled but the stopped dead when she saw who was waiting for them, or _her_ at the apartment door. A few inches shorter than Mulder, dark, tailored suit, short black hair. He had flowers and what looked like groceries in his hand. "Now its a party" Mulder filled the silence. "Samy, I presume? Fox Mulder" Mulder frowned and leant against the wall when he felt Scully leave his side, he turned away from them to give them privacy. He heard their whispering, a kiss. Then footsteps ascended towards him, they hovered in front of him, he looked up into the searing green eyes. It offered him a hand.

"Nice to meet you" and then descended back down the stairs.

"Don't leave on my account" he called after. Mulder slowly turned to meet, as he expected, Scull'y glare. "What did I do?" Scully unlocked the door and walked in. "Let me guess, no massage", walking with an effort towards her apartment.

...

"You OK" Mulder asked when Scully emerged out of the bathroom. Fresh in clean clothes. She nodded.

"I'm fine. I ran you a bath"

"You're not going to bathe me?" he teased

She shot him a look. "I'm going to get some milk from the store"

"I don't know, I think maybe I should go, just to make sure you don't come back bare foot and pregnant"

"Excuse me!" she erupted, she couldn't believe his cheap shot. After she had driven and waited for him at the hospital, then driven them both back to DC, picking up some clean clothes for him from his apartment.

"Excuse nothing" he had meant the comment as a joke but the truth was, he was still royally pissed at her and her foolishness. He expected more from her. "...I almost bled to death saving you from giving birth to some kind of voodoo baby"

"Gees, how many times do I have to say it. Sorry and thank-you"

"Actually only once"

_He was _right._ I hadn't said thank-you_. "Sorry and thank-you" she said, sincerely looking into his eyes.

He softned. "I just want to know what was going through your head"

"I don't know". She went silent, dwelling what had happened two days earlier:  
...When she and Isaiah had arrived it was late afternoon, noone was amongst the settlement, they were all in the church... _The insence...the smell. It was intoxicating_... They said they had been waiting for them. A child no more than nine had escorted Isaiah and the other children out of the building. She was about to protest, but Julie was there and hadn't seemed to mind. David was there too, he got to close to her again, he said it was time to let the loved one waiting inside to be born again, it was time to give birth to her father. "_Everything carries on_"; that was what David had said and the women repeated it. They said it was true because it had all happened to them. "_No soul truly dies_"...  
Scully felt tears form in her eyes, it was a beautiful idea. She went back:  
...She was in some kind of trance. They had made her believe, and now she wanted to experience it... The women took of her clothes and bathed her, prodded her. Then dressed her in a robe similar to theirs... There was a commotion; she was not a virgin, would it work?...  
Scully frowned remembering one of the women saying that she had given birth, _that was a lie_.  
...It would still work...They had given her a drink, a purity drink. They said that she would feel like dying, but only for a few days, after then she would feel more alive then she had ever felt before... He had called her Mary, and then they escorted her into the darkness...  
Scully lowered her eyes. "I really don't know Mulder". Why didn't she just tell him the truth? _Shame, not wanting to entertain his paranormal fantasies._

Silence bounced through the air for a few minutes, while Mulder assessed whether or whether not he believed her. She never broke eye contact with him. Finally he lowered his gaze. "Well Samy is one lucky guy" lowering himself back on her sofa. "Are you ever going to tell him that he almost became ..." But he didn't finish his sentence, something whacked the back of his head. He looked down on the floor, _her shoe._ She slammed her bedroom door behind her.

...

Maybe he owed her an apology. That was Mulder's final thoughts on the cusp of sleep two hours later.  
"Oh God!" Scully's cry interrupted his near slumber.

"What?!" annoyed.

"Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" She sounded like she was hyperventilating.

"What?!" panicked now. He jumped out of the guest-room bed. "Shit", his gun shot wounds. It felt like his insides had just ripped open - again.  
Her back was to him when he stumbled into her bedroom; hunched over, she was wearing what he assumed was Samy's T and boxer shorts. Her duvet hung messily over the bed.  
"Scully?" She spun round hearing her name, and he watched the horror disappear from her face. She had been asleep, he could tell that by the sleep-lines on her face, _another bad dream _he thought. She steadied herself on his hip bone and took in a deep breath, he ignored the pain as he could see how it relaxed her entire body. She then placed a hand on her heart, as if to reassure herself it was still beating.  
"What going on?" his voice not giving away the panick that had grown in him.

She shook her head, took in a few more deep breaths before removing her hand from him and lingering it over her lower abdomen. She swept her hair off her face as she walked past him. "Is she asleep?"  
He followed her into the guest room - jumped when she spun on him again; very pale, wide eyed, the horror mask re-etched on her face.  
"Wha...where is she?!" She made a enormous gesture with her hands which shook through her whole body. He had to step back, he could feel the fire burning within her. He had never known her presence to be so domineering and intimidating.

"Where is who?"

He visibly saw something flash through her mind. She frowned, taking a small step back. It hit her again. She rubbed her temple. She gasped abruptly as if she just remembered something. She looked oddly over her sleepwear, then looked back at him, confused. Rooted to the spot, he watched her hands search her stomach. Suddenly her body crumbled. As if someone had just swung a baseball bat at her stomach. But no sound escaped her. He thought she was going to faint. Forcing the oddity of the situation out of his mind, he lunged to pick her up. But she pushed his hands away and walked aimlessly around the guest room. He followed her with his eyes.  
"Oh God!" She started chanting again. She rested a hand on the bed, wall, wardrobe. Before backing herself into the far left corner of the room where she fell to the floor, dumbfounded.  
She jumped at his touch, but looked him square in the eye. Her look was a warning, intense, it could kill, blood was wanted. "Where is she Mulder?" she growled, "where's my baby?" Then as if by switch, her face softened into utter despair. "Where is my baby?" she cried, tears started to stream down her face.

_This time its real. _The intensity of the situation just dawned on him, his face looked as though he was going to throw up. His mouth wouldn't move. _This time its real. She'll blame me. _His nightmare had become true.

**PART SOMETHING**  
**SOME** **HIGHWAY**

It was still pouring down with rain; but, all care and sense had flown out the window for Mulder as he raced a cradled Scully to the rental car. His abdomen wound had opened; but, now driving over 100 miles-per-hour on the highway, he neither noticed or cared. His right hand was fixed on the steering wheel, his left locked with Scully's on her chest bone; she was stone cold.  
He stole another glance. Her hair, a dark brown from the rain was plastered to her face. She looked like she was in some kind of trance, mumbling to herself, lips blue, absently stroking his hand. The overhead lights highlighted the silent tears streaming down her face. He leaned in to give her a kiss on her lips, but the wheel turned left with him and he caught her ear instead - The rental was suddenly blinded and blasted by the bright-white fog lights and car horns from the incoming traffic. Thinking fast, Mlder quickly manoeuvred the wheel right, he dodged the first car but the second took off the passenger wing mirror and knocked the rear of their rental, sending them zig-zagging across the ongoing traffic lanes. He eventually managed to straighten the car. Lucky for them there was no other ongoing cars.  
"FUCK!" His heart thumped against his chest, and he suddenly realised the pain from his open wound. He shook his head. He needed to concentrate in order to get them both there in one piece. He then remembered her and whipped his head round to check that she was OK. She hadn't been fazed.  
"Scully, I'm gonna need my hand back". She didn't flinch, her trance remained her. _I need to get her there fast! _He cursed himself for forgetting her cell. He didn't have the number, to at least give some sort of warning.

He heard Scully's mouth open and turned to her. "They didn't even let me hold her, Mulder".  
He tightened the grip of both his hands and picked up his speed again. _Fast! _Thirteen years had passed but Mulder was on autopilot.

**PART XIV**  
**March 3rd 1995, Day 5, 22:45**  
**Scully Residence.**

He pulled the car up outside the drive way and turned off the engine. He glanced at the car clock, it had only taken him twenty minutes to reach. He suddenly felt very faint and allowed himself to breath properly, he had got her here in one piece. He looked down at the passed-out form that lay across him. Her knees and head rested on his chest. He had to push the driver seat all the way back so that she could fit, more importantly, so that he was able to drive more safely with both hands on the steering wheel. _She's asleep now._ S_he will be happy and safe here._ He placed another loving kiss on her forehead as he had been doing since she moved, he removed a stray clump of hair from her docile face. She was still soaked from the rain but then so was he.

With Scully cradled in his arms, he made his way up the Scully driveway. Despite the darkness and the years, the front garden looked relatively the same.  
The porch light turned on. He rapped loudly on the door. And again. After what felt like ages, the door opened. Mrs Scully wrapped in her dressing gown stood in the doorway, a man dressed in shorts and a T stood warily near her. They both gaped, confused; taking in the partners' clothing attire; the fact that they were sodden wet and stained with blood. Mulder felt like he was eighteen again. A memory flashed in his mind of Maggie in pretty much the same attire. Worry etched all over her face because a much-older-boy had brought home and spent the weekend with her fourteen-year-old daughter.  
"Dana!" Maggie gasped, taking in her daughter's passed out state, _the blood?_ Scully's eyes had rolled back white and she was muttering something.  
"Fox!... What happened!?" she asked him sharply, checking her daughter heartbeat.

"She remembered Mrs Scully. She was so scared, crying, so I bought her here"

"...WHY?!... Quick Charlie put her in my car", she realised that Mulder was probably in a state of shock but she didn't care, her daughters's life was in danger. "You should have taken her to the hospital!"  
Mulder felt Scully's weight been taken from him and tightened his grip and growled at Charlie.  
"Fox!" Maggie snapped making him turn his attention to her. "Dana needs to go to the hospital NOW!".

Mulder glanced at Scully's face_, she wasn't asleep_. He stood rooted in a state of shock but begrudgingly allowed Charlie to take her. Charlie run past him, and then Maggie, the door shut, the car engine started, but Mulder couldn't move.

"FOX!" Maggie awoken him from his trance. "Get in the car. You're bleeding"

**PART XV  
J Edgar Hoover building, Day 7  
Skinner's office**

'...In the end it was ordered that Special Agent Dana Scully be induced into a ten day coma, so the effects the events may have had on her neural system can be repaired completely. Doctors rule out 'Born Again' and have said that it must have been some other event that allowed Agent Scully's brain to relapse, although what, they have no answer. After a private field investigation back at CRJ Commune, it is my professional opinion that although the three day 'Born Again' ritual was not completed, it allowed Agent Scully to reconnect to that period of her life that she had since dis-allowed from memory. The trigger of sleep, re-surfacing these memories. The consequences, are not yet known. Doctors seem to think she will resume back to a state, as if she had never remembered. End of field journal March 5th 1995. Agent on record Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Status: Unexplained'

Skinner closed the file carefully, putting it aside, he paged his secretary to send flowers to Scully's hospital bed.

**PART XVI**  
**Day 15**  
**Georgetown Hospita**l

Scully sat upright in her hospital bed, she looked good, much better than she had looked ten days ago, the colour had returned to her cheeks. Mulder sat on the chair near the door. They were alone. Her family and Samy were outside waiting for them to finish. But she had requested to see him. However now they had been sat in silence for the last few minutes, he got up to leave.  
"Mulder, I want to see my file"

"What?"

"The file on my abduction, I'm sure one exists". His expression told her yes. "And I want the report of the case you were working on at the time"

"...Scully, I don't think that is a good idea, you have just come out of a ten day coma because they were worried about..."

"Mulder I want to know. I deserve to know"

"And you will. Just not, not yet"

"Mulder"

"What do you think your doctor would say?"

"I say yes. I want to know the truth".  
When they had awoken her from her coma, she had gone back to remembering nothing of the eleven months. Her last memory was drifting off to sleep, thinking how much she had wanted to kill Mulder, she had thrown her shoe at him. She woke up in a hospital bed, with a Asian-American nurse smiling down at her. Although she knew something serious had to have happened, for her to react that way, for them to have to induce a coma. She thought she could, but she was now tired of being in the dark.

...

He returned an hour and a half later with three files in his hand, he passed her two. He had vetted them of course, removing any ties to the child. He didn't care what she said to him, he wasn't going through that again, putting them through that again.  
"I give these to you in one condition, that you allow me to sit here while you read them".

She nodded; then taking a huge sigh, she opened the first file. Her glasses fell out. "Oh I wondered where my spare pair went".  
They sat for an hour discussing the files; he explained Duane Barry and Krycek. She'd asked who 'Deep Throat' was and he passed her the third file that he had been holding, 'The Purity Control' case, and talked her through that too.  
She closed the third file.

"...So you see, they took you because I got to close"

"Because we got to close" she corrected. "That's what you think?"

"That isn't what you think?"

She shrugged. "I don't know what I think yet, but it means a lot that you let me look at them. So, thank-you"

_I don't deserve any thanks_. He rose and collected his trench coat and then the files, leaving her glasses.  
"Now that you know the truth..." he felt his toes cross in his shoes. He rested his spare hand on her shoulder and made way for the door; he had kept her family away from her for too long.

"I'm not going anywhere Mulder" she said defiantly.

He stopped but didn't turn around; knowing that if she knew the real truth she would.

**_So a lot happened in this chapter, what did you guys think?  
Children galore in these last few chapters, need a break - apart from Emily of course. Last chapter for s2! - took 25 chapters to get there though :/  
Next Chapter: ? Possibly, Mulder presumed dead and framed for his father's death._**


	26. The Other Scully Girl

**_Sorry for the late update, masses of work but now I am on holiday :) I don't even know what this chapter is about, I have hit a kind of mind block with this story, but ... Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!_  
**

**CHAPTER 26: The Other Scully Girl  
**Spoilers: S2 finale, S3E1 -2, links to a S9 ep (though I cant remember which one) - Mulder and Scully search for answers regarding the old photograph with his father and other unnamed men. Their search takes them to the abandoned Strughold Mining Facility where they uncover an elaborate medical filing system and dangerous secret. Mistaken identity when Scully's sister is shot instead of her.

**PART I  
Mid September 1995, 14:00, Day 1  
West Tisbury, Martha's Vineyard, MA  
Mulder Sr's house**

He poured himself a third glass of Irish whisky and swung it down his throat in one; he made a face over the taste but it wetted his parched throat and made his mind feel good. He tilted the glass to make sure that it was empty and then went to pour another glass. He topped up the man's opposite him glass, who offered him a Morley's Cigarette. He hadn't smoked in over thirty years but he took it acceptingly. Their puffs of smoke synchronised. The man opposite him leaned back in his chair and looked at him intently.  
"I promise the continued protection of your son Bill, but you see. Some of the group are displeased at how close he is getting. How close he is to discovering your piece in the puzzle"

"What is it you are trying to say Charles?" Bill asked gruffly, swigging his fourth glass of whisky.

"Neither the father or the son can live while the other is alive"

"So my life for my sons. You'll make sure no harm will come to him?"

"I have so far"

Bill nodded. "When?"

"Soon"

**PART II  
Late September 1995, 23:45, Day 15  
Route 320A, Craiger MD  
Charlotte's Motel and Diner**

Scully emerged out of her motel room shower clad in white towles; one wrapped across her body, the other wound round her hair. She was thankful that this motel offered towles. She pulled at the one on her head and allowed her damp locks to fall free. She then flopped on the bed, closing her eyes. It felt good, washing off her day.

Her mind wandered to her sister, crushing her momentarily serene state. Her heart panged and guilt started to creep over her entire body. _That bullet was meant for me. _She couldn't even call to see how she was. She imagined her docile on the hospital bed, wires protruding out of her, the life support pumping her chest. _That had been me six months ago._

Frohike had said that she was stable and in a coma. _But what if it took a turn for the worst?_ She felt tears form in her eyes. _No_. She wouldn't allow her to think like that. _Only positive vibes_. _Isn't that what she had told me when I thought Mulder had died?_ Her face fell. _But that's Missy not me, and she isn't here or a phone call away to reassure m_e. Suddenly, Scully was overwhelmed by an intent desire for her sister, to hear her voice, see her smile, laugh, frown, feel her touch and embrace. She felt numb.

After what felt like forever being paralysed to the spot, allowing the guilt to wash over her and the tears to fall, she pushed herself off the bed. She was completely dry now and flung her towel on the bed. _I bet my hair is a fine sight_. She spied a convenient piece of string on a surface across the room, and figured she would use that to tie her hair. En-route, she heard a noise that made her jump.

It was Mulder snoring on the chaise chair. She thought she had locked the door but obviously he had come in whilst she was showering. She suppressed her desire to scream, realising him awake would see her clad in her birth clothes.

Quickly she scrambled to wrap the towel around her. After tying up her hair she walked lightly over to him. She perched on the chaise. His sleep was peaceful but a frown graced his face. She lightly placed her fingers across it to smooth it out. His eyes fluttered open.  
"Scully?" He took in his surroundings. "...I must have fallen asleep. I just wanted to make sure you were OK"

She smiled down at him and pulled on his T. "You should have a shower, it will make you feel better"

...

He emerged out of the bathroom, clean, hair still damp and only his T and boxers on. She returned his tired smile from the bed, crossed legged and with his buttoned up shirt as her bed clothes.  
"I hope you don't mind" she indicated to the shirt she was wearing. "I have nothing else to wear really"

_Actually I do. Take it off slowly in front of me. "_It's fine"

"Your spending the night here?"

"If you don't mind. I'll feel safer"

"I don't mind" He made his way to the chaise "...You can sleep on the bed...with me. Its big enough for two" she said climbing under the covers.

He slowly walked towards the bed and got under himself; leaving a layer between him and Scully. He faced away from her. They synchronised turning the bed side lamp off and were silent. A few minutes passed and Scully turned to face Mulder's back. She lightly placed a line down his spine. He stopped breathing,more than aware of the tingling impulses it was sending to his groin. "Scully?" he turned his head slightly.

"Do you think my sister is OK?" she whispered in an almost childlike voice.

He turned to face her. The lamplight from outside reflected her shimmering eyes and he could tell that she was crying. He used his thumb to wipe them. "She is in the best hands Dana". That was all the comfort he could offer her and he hated it. He cupped the side of her face in his hand and rubbed his thumb across it lovingly.

She ignored her impulse to kiss the side of his hand.

His hand moved to behind her head and pulled the bow. From this simple movement he felt himself harden and she felt her nipples became erect and felt something build in the depths of her. "I like it down".

She could feel the electricity build between them; maybe he was going to pounce on her; and if he didn't maybe she would.  
"Jenny called me last week" Mulder's heart missed a beat and for some strange reason guilt towards Scully started to build in him. "...she wanted to know where you were. Back then I thought you were dead, so I told her". She waited for him to say something. "How did she get my number?"

"I said if she didn't hear from me, you were the only person who would know where I was"

"...Is it serious, the two of you?" whispering again.

She heard him shrug. "She has a daughter"

"What does she do?"

"She's a therapist"

Scully couldn't contain her giggle. Mulder pushed her lightly on her arm. "I'm sorry...Is she yours?"

"No" pretending to sound offended "But she encourages me to talk about things"

"Like what?" feeling slightly offended that he would confide more to this other woman then he would do to her who experienced life-threatening situations with an almost a daily basis.

"Just stuff, outside of work"

"Oh" feeling wounded and turned to face away from him again.

"Scully?" she waited for him to continue "what do you think happened to you, those months that you were away?"

She took in slight intake of breath and turned her head slightly towards him before resting it back on the pillow. He had never asked her about those months, never pushed her to remember, but now he was asking. "I don't know Mulder"

"Have you tried to remember"

"Missy" she swallowed hard thinking about her sister. He placed a hand on her back for comfort. "When I thought you were dead. She convinced me to go under to see what I remembered"

"It didn't work?"

"No"

"How many times did you try?"

"Just once"

"Are you going to try again?" He heard her shake her head. "Do you want to remember?" She wast still. "A year has almost passed, your allowed to let your memory remember... Maybe you cant remember because you don't want to"

"Have you been talking to my doctor?"

He laughed. "No but I know all about this stuff...I have been through it myself"

She knew the moment in his life that he was talking about. "When you were 18?"

"You remember that?"

"I remember you telling me" She racked her brains "you had been going since you were 14"

"I'm impressed"

"You see my memory is not all bull shit" they both grinned. "...Mulder, will you hold me. Until I go to sleep?"

He pulled her into his embrace and placed a kiss on the back of her head. "Back when we were young and carefree"

"You were just about to go off to college in England. I thought you were the bees knees back then. So young, so naive"

Mulder chuckled. "Get to sleep, your sleep deprived and saying things that you don't mean". They lay, both tortured souls, both loosing their fathers, sisters and a child; but both with so much life to live.

As Scully was drifting off in Mulder's arms she whispered "Again, I'm truly sorry about your father"

Placing another kiss on her head. "And I about your sister but you mustn't give up hope on her" But Scully was sound asleep; Mulder however mind was buzzing from what they had uncovered at the abandoned mine; and it caused more questions then answers. The one most prominent, why had a file originally entitled with his name, been replaced with Samantha's?

**PART III  
Early October 1995, Day 17  
Scully's Apartment**

She heard her cell ring but she was rooted to the lounge chair. Added to that the cell was on the dining room table and meant she would once again have to come face to face to the spot her sister died. Or where she imagined she died, _a pool of blood surrounding her unconscious body_... The ringing stopped. And then it started again. _Maybe its Mulder_ she thought and picked herself up. She looked around the apartment, she had just got it the way she had wanted it and now she would have to move, that was certain.

Samy poked his head out of her bedroom. "Babe, do you want me to get that?"

"No its ok. Its probably Mulder"

His mouth set into a hard set line "OK. Then you'll come to bed?" She nodded and he slunk back into her bedroom.

"Mulder?" she answered the cell.

_"Yeah Scully its me. Are you ok? You left a message to call you back"_

"I'm fine Mulder. We have a date for Missy's funeral...I didn't know if you wanted to come or not?"

_"We can go together, I'll drive"_

"That's ok... Samy's back"

_"Oh already?"_

"...Mom called him when she thought it was me who had been shot..." she wobbled, fighting back tears.

_"...Hey Scully, how about you take next week off"_

"Mulder.." she warned

_"I know, I thought I would just ask and check...So I'll see you Monday"_

"...Mulder? Do you think Missy was the one, the one who would have betrayed me?"

_"...No I don't think that...I think it would have been me, or they would have framed it to be me, just like they tried to do with my father...and if it wasn't for you, i'm pretty sure I would be...well I wouldn't be where I am not. They were trying to clear up... How's it being at home?" _

"...Samy's here but I'm going to have to move again, he's going to help me find a place...I keep seeing her"

_"I'm sorry Scully"_

"Don't be. I'll see you Monday "

_"Monday"_

**PART VI  
Early October 1995, A year and one month.  
Sim Residence**

Mrs Sim and Emily sat on the carpet in the middle of the living room with a shapes-rubix-cube in-between them. Mrs Sim loved playing games like this with Emily as she actually needed her assistance and was hopeless without her. The square shaped hole was face up but for the last few minutes Emily had tried to fit the star-shaped object through. Mrs Sim picked up the square-shaped object and tried to swap the shapes in her daughter's grip, but Emily wouldn't give and frowned screaming at her mother.  
"Emily Louisa Sim" she said sharply. "You do not scream at mummy" and she placed the square object through the slot. "See?" Emily pursed her lips and deepened her frowned causing Mrs Sim to laugh. "Now your turn" she said turning the rubix cube to the star-shaped slot.  
Emilly giggled with glee when they shape dropped in. "Yay Mimi" Mrs Sim clapped and bought Emily into her embrace placing kisses and tickles all over her. "Can you say Dada?...Dada?" but Emily looked at her blankly. "Dada" Mrs Sim repeated. Emily open and closed her mouth but know sound came out.

The front door opened and Emily's face lit up. "Is that Dada?" Emily fought out of her mother's grasp. "Dada" she persisted, Emily opened and closed her mouth again with no sound coming through. Reluctantly Mrs Sim let her daughter go and watched her toddle off through the door at an impressive speed for even a two year old. She sighed, _if only her speech were as good as her agility, but I guess you can't have everything._


	27. Take a Deep Breath

_**Woo hoo two chapters in one week, that is the great thing about being on holiday; the downside is that you have your mother force feeding you over three meals a day - I shall be quite literally rolling home.**_

_**So I totally started this chapter with the episode where Scull tells Mulds that she has cancer in mind but luckily I checked and prevented myself from jumping the gun. Although I may still be jumping the gun with this chappy as there were revelations that I didn't want to write out. But anyway let me know what you think.**_

_**Because we are in-between two thanksgivings - well kind of...**_

**CHAPTER 27: Closure? ask Take a deep breath  
Spoilers: S3E9 & 10 - A mail order videotape of an alien autopsy blossoms into a much more complicated investigation when Mulder and Scully find the distributor of the tape murdered in his own home apparently by a high-ranking diplomat. While Mulder's search for the video leads him to a train car, Scully investigates a group and discovers several women who claim to know her.**

**PART I  
Two days before Thanksgiving, 1995, Day 1, 20:30  
Scully Residence**

"Bum you for a cigarette?" Scully joined Mulder on the old wooden swing set at the back of the Scully family back garden, hidden from the prying eyes of the inside. "I didn't know you were smoking again?" she said taking a seat on the creaky swing next to him and placing Quequeg on the ground, who after giving Mulder a few sniffs of his feet, giving him a loud sniff of approvement, scurried off in to the darkness.

Mulder reached into his jean pocket and tossed her his packet and matches. "And I thought you were trying to quit" he mumbled not giving up the cigarette between his lips.

"I am!...I guess being back at home is making me feel a bit of a rebel" she mumbled, trying the matches a few times before it took. She inhaled deeply and blew out a loud puff of smoke, she chuckled. "...Actually me and Miss, we would do this for a laugh during family functions, after mass on Christmas Eve, Aunty Mary's 60th, just to see if we get caught"

"And did you?"

She blew out another large puff of smoke. "A lot of close shaves, Dad caught us at my Aunt's 60th but Missy took the wrap. I think she was 27 and I was 23 but we still felt like teenagers...It was great"

"It's nice that you have those memories"

Scully nodded silently realising how lucky she was to have twenty seven years worth of memory of her sister, where as Mulder only had eight...  
She was glad that he was here; it had made what she thought would be quite a mournful night without Missy, enjoyable. When she extended her mother's Pre-Thanksgiving invite, she had thought he would say no, but surprised her. Actually the invitation itself was surprising, yes her mom regularly asked after Mulder, but that and asking him to spend a holiday with them were totally different things. Especially as she had to ask for Samy's invitation.

Mulder now embarrassed, and conscious that Scully may have taken his last comment the wrong way, attempted to lighten the mood. "So remind me Dana, why are we celebrating Thanksgiving two days earlier?"

"Well Fox_._.."

"Don't call me Fox"

"You called me Dana"

"Because everyone else this evening has and your name doesn't send people laughing to the hills"

"You allow Mom to call you Fox"

"I am too scared to ask her not ..." they both turned towards the intruding sound of the footsteps. "Shit Samy" she mumbled and popped her unfinished cigarette in Mulder's mouth, and clumsily chucked him his packet and matches.

Mulder smiled opting to keep hers in his mouth and extinguish his. "I take it Samy does not approve of you smoking" putting away the contents.

"He thinks its most unladylike" whispering as he was only a few metres away.

"Sadist"

Scully giggled.

"Is something funny?" Sammy asked bluntly

"No..." Scully started to coax.

"...No its just that you have something on your shoulder". Samy moved his hand to his left shoulder. "No your other shoulder". Scully stifled a giggle, and the darkness stifled hers and Mulder's full watt grins. "Now its on your wrist...no your other wrist". Scully couldn't hold it any longer and burst out laughing, causing Mulder to laugh too; they leaned into each other for support.

Scully caught Samy's face and mellowed. "I'm sorry babe" she put her hands to her mouth so as to force the smile down. She then got up and rubbed Samy's cheek.

"But now you know the first four steps of the Macarena" Mulder laughed and Scully had to bite her lip.

"Ah I see. Very humorous" again blunt. "Its a wonder why people don't take you seriously"

"Samy!" Scully reprimanded.

Mulder let out a chuckle. "Well you know with suicides, murders, kidnapping on a day to day basis, you've got to lighten the mood. People tend to actually like you" he directed back, with just as much bluntness.

Scully rolled her eyes. "I'm going to see if Mom needs help. Play nice. And don't forget Quequeg" directing the last sentence to Samy.

Samy made a face because he knew it would go undetected by Scully. "Of course". They both watched their love walk up the garden to the house. Mulder finishing his cigarette and went to get up. "Join me for a cigar?".

"Ok" Taking his seat back on the swing, he reached into his pocket for his matches. He inhaled and exhaled. "Good stuff" he said admiring the cigar. "Venezuelan?"

"Y-es" shocked that Mulder would know his cigars.

They were silent for a few minutes. Mulder wanted to leave but also felt that Samy had something to say to him. "So..." he waited and on not hearing anything made his way to get up, again.

"So Dana has been having some breakthroughs" he caught him, again

"Breakthroughs with what?" re-taking his seat.

"With her memory loss...She didn't tell you?...Yes together we have been trying to piece her flashes of memory..." he said boastfully.

"And what have you got?" slightly defensive, pissed off that she would once again confide in this imposter and not him.

"Oh well that's not my place to tell. She obviously doesn't want you meddling in her private life. You and your escapades take up enough of her life already; and, others around her"

Mulder knew he was talking about her sister and felt a pang of guilt. He lowered his gaze to the floor. Jenny had been working to convince him that it wasn't his fault, and although he could pretend that it wasn't, deep down he was wallowing in guilt over it. Yes, he had a lot of guilt.

"Well..." Samy said picking himself up and throwing the cigarette by Mulder's feet "I can't keep Dana waiting" and he walked up towards the house.

Just before he had reached the back door, Mulder shouted "Don't forget Quequeg". He saw Samy's shoulder's slump, lifting his mood a little.

**PART II  
****Thanksgiving 1995, Day 3, 04:50  
Rental: En-route to Allentown, PA.**

They had been driving on the I-95 for over three hours, Scully had slept for those three. She hadn't and wouldn't offer her help with the driving because why he insisted on leaving DC at almost two in the morning instead of waiting six hours for the first flight out, only Mulder would know. Although now she had been awake for almost 10 minutes and he had hardly spoken to her, in fact he hadn't really said much to her the past two days.  
"Mulder do you want me to help with the driving?" she asked hopefully, going back on her earlier made promise.

He shook his head dismissing her offer.

She waited another minute but she couldn't avoid it; there was no scenery to distract her and the car radio wasn't working on the rental. "Have I done something to upset you?" she pouted, although it was wasted on him, his eyes were fixed on the road.

He dismissed her question again.

She waited another three minutes, counted with Mississippi's. "Well I obviously have. Here we are going to find the truth about an alien autopsy video, normally I wouldn't be able to get a word in"

He was silent.

"Mulder..." she warned.

"You want to know what's wrong with me?" he blurted out as if he had been holding it for the past forty hours and twenty minutes - which he had. "Why you never told me that you were beginning to remember, but you told Samy"

"Mulder..." she laughed. He turned his gaze on her and she saw that he was serious and worse, hurt.

"Its just pillow talk"

"So what? I have to fuck you just so that you will confide in me?" he snapped.

She frowned and fired up over his crude language, he had no right to use that language around her.

"I'm sorry" he said apologetically.

"I...I didn't tell you because it was nothing really. Just fragments" sternly.

"Don't you think that my expertise is better than Samy's? A trained psychologist, not someone who moves blocks from one place to the other"

She snorted and then tried and failed to suppress her laugh. He felt himself caving and eventually gave into the humour and her rare but infectious laugh.  
"I'm sorry that Samy told you" she said after a while "but I am not sorry for not telling you. I have to come to terms with this in my own way, when I am ready. Its not that I dont trust you but because psychologically I am not ready for the truth. I mean Mulder... what if I was raped or...". There she had said it out loud, her nightmare.

They was silent for a minute while they contemplated what she had said. Scully raised her eyebrows and looked timidly at her hands, fighting back tears over the thought of it. Mulder gripped the steering wheel, hard, while he tried to suppress the anger that was waving through him. "Then I would kill whoever did it with my own two hands, but not before they witnessed me strangling the life out of their loved ones; their children, so as to ensure their evil would not be passed on" he said darkly.

The aggressiveness of his words sent shivers down her back. She has always thought him a loving creature, who was this man? Had his sister's and father's fate really affected him so much?. His concentration remained on the road as if he hadn't said anything wrong. All of sudden she was scared of this man she was sat alone in the car with. "Mulder" she said gently. "Let me drive and you catch up on your sleep"

"I'm not tired Scully".

"Please Mulder, I'm your partner" she coaxed. "Let me share the drive"

She could make out his mouth clench, it twisted. She hoped if she made it professional he would have to comply.  
It did, he sharply pulled in without indicating and got out of the car.

_Fresh air, clear my head. _The thought of someone forcing their unwanted hands over Scully... them forcing ... made Mulder *Y&R***!£(HF! He let his aggression out on the car, kicking the tires and punching the car bonnet.

His actions made Scully flinch and allowed him a few minutes before she got out of the car. Silently and ignoring her gaze, he made his way to the passenger side and buckled himself in. Before she buckled herself into the driver side. She took his hand in hers.  
"Im sorry if I scared you" he grumbled and begrudgingly he looked up.

Her hand squeezed his. "You are a sweet sweet man, Fox" she looked sincerely into his shark eyes and saw them slowly melt green as he absorbed her words in disbelief. Before she knew it, she leaned in and placed a tender kiss on his lips. Electricity flew from her heart and through her veins. After a few seconds she pulled apart, but there lips caught each other again.

Mulder unbuckled his seat belt so he could deepen their kiss. His whole body was floating on bubbles, he was home in this sensuous sweet and beautiful kiss. But he also wanted more and his lips became more feverent against hers. He wanted to lick, nip and bite her; pull her on top of him and feel her weight against him.

She steadied herself wrapping her arms around the back of his head, her fingers raked through his hair, he groaned, deepening their kiss even more. She could feel his hands creep under her jacket, she wouldn't stop him. She wanted to feel his hands on her skin.

He roughly groped his way up her, wanting to feel the soft delicate skin of her breasts, to tug and to fondle with. She groaned at his touch. He reached the underwire of her bra and his thumb skimmed the rim of one of her breats; she groaned loudly into his kiss causing her to moan. He felt himself start to harden.

But then he remembered Jenny and at the same time she remembered Samy, and they pulled apart, hot and flushed.

She took in quiet intakes of breaths while she tried to buckle herself in. Mulder did the same, he heard that she was having trouble and turned the overhead lamp on and guided her hand, it went in and they stared at their conjoined hand. Slowly dark blue met dark brown brown, they stole a glance at each others now very rouged mouths and shared a small smile, silently agreeing not to talk about the kiss.

Mulder turned off the light, and Scully pulled away. After a few minutes, Scully started to tell Mulder of what little she was beginning to remember.

**PART III  
Late November 1995, Day 6, 13:20  
The Basement**

Mulder's mind was reeling. Extra terrestrial life, all that he had learnt the past few days was swimming in his mind. But Scully had just told him something about these women dying from cancer, and how she was also one of them...? The thought of it drained all the blood from his face; it seemed like everything in his body just stopped. After all that she had been through, they had been through, could life be so cruel.._.Yes_, a tiny un-encouraging voice told him.

He rubbed his face in his hands to try and get the blood moving again. It wouldn't go away. He tried to massage life back in his heart. It wouldn't go away.

She was having tests done now, she would phone him and let him know; he reasoned with himself, until then he shouldn't worry.

He checked his wrist watch. His flight to West Virginia would leave in one hour...

...Added to it, Scully said that she was starting to remember more things; he was worried that she would remember IT. And he would be out of state, her mother and the rest of her family would all be in California... ..._Samy. _There was no one else. He took a deep breath and dialled Scully's home number, hoping that he would be there, it was the weekend after all. He was in. _Shit._

Samy asked who it was for the third time.

Mulder cleared his breath. "Hello. It's Mulder"

_"Mulder? Is Dana ok?!"_

"I need you to meet me at DC airport. I have something important to tell you about Dana's missing 11 months. Can we meet in an hour? Please, I, she really might need your help with this".

**PART IV  
Late November 1995  
****One year and three months  
****Sim Residence**

Emily lay small and with only a diaper on her changing mat, Bunny's ear in her mouth as a chew toy. They had just come back from a family day at the beach. Mr Sim was on cloud nine as he had met one of his bosses at the beach with his wife and one year old son. Mr Sim's boss was so impressed by Emily's swimming capabilities that he very uncharacteristically invited them round for a BBQ at his next weekend. Cloud nine.

Mr Sim mossied into Emily's bedroom, hair still wet from his shower, singing. He grabbed his wife by the waist, who squealed when he spun her into his embrace, kissing her passionately. Emily gurgled happily and kicked her legs. Mr Sim placed his wife down carefully and picked up his little girl and her bunny. Emily gurgled happily again, she loved her Daddy...and especially when he blew on her stomach! She burst into fits of laughter, dropping Bunny. Her mother went to pick it up, placing it back in her arms. She gave her a kiss on her cheek, Mr Sim kissed Emily's other cheek.

Mrs Sim pouted while gently stroked Emily's now brownish blondish hair.

"What's the matter?" Mr Sim asked, laughing at his wife's expression.

"She's going blonde"

"And?"

"And I wanted her to stay a brunette, so she would look like her father" she leaned in and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

"Well now she is going to blonde like her mother. And you have the same big blue eyes. My two beautiful girls" he said bouncing Emily out of the room. "Shall we go play?" Emily's laughter could be hear all the way down the stairs.

Mrs Sim was left in the room by herself. _But I'm also a natural brunette_.  
She thought back to her own baby photos she had once seen, saucer sized blue eyes with a mound of dark brown curls. Like Emily's had been.

**PART V  
Late November 1995, Day 6, 14:00  
Dulles International Airport**

Mulder paced in front of the airport check in desk. The employee had said that he would give him just ten more minutes and then he would have to check in if he wanted that flight. Of course he could speak to Samy over the phone but he preferred to say what he had to say face to face. That is how he would have wanted to hear it.  
He clocked Samy towards him.

"So what was so important that it had to be said face to face"

Mulder faltered for a few seconds. "Look what I have to say is not easy so I will just say it... I presume that no one has told you that Scully was pregnant"

Samy's eyes grew big and he took a step back.

"I thought not..."

"Where is the child?" he snapped

"She miscarried" Mulder said mournfully and bowed his head.

Which was all too revealing to Samy. "The child was yours?"

"Yes" he said quickly "but no one but you knows that and you must keep it that way. I have moved on, and Scully doesn't remember" _Have I? The kiss_. "But you see she is starting to remember more, its because of this case that we are working on. I need you to keep an eye on her, I have to go out of state, her mother is out of state..."

"...I am the only one left" he said simply.

"Yes. And we all saw how she reacted last time"

"Do you think she will react the same way?" he looked panicked.

"If she does, she will need you in a way the rest of us cant...I would be the last person she would want comfort from"

"So, once again you are leaving me to clear up your mess" he said bluntly.

Mulder stammered, it was true, what was it the third time now? "Yes. But you are a much better person than I am, for her, and in general". There was no sarcasm in his words, he was being honest. Samy could see this too, and nodded that he would help.

**PART VI  
****December 1995, Day 18, 19:50  
The Fountain**

Mulder was nervous. He had gotten a phone call from Scully only an hour ago saying that she needed to speak to him, and she had given him the harbour as a meet point; their meet point they had discovered during those eleven months. To make matters worse, when she had called, he was out at a nearby pizzeria with Jenny and her daughter, who were now in tow with him. N-E-R-V-O-U-S. _Maybe Samy had told her something._

Scully also waited nervously by the fountain...

She had been feeling better since her 'closure'. The experiments initiated by the Nazi's and Japanese during World War II that had supposed to be haltered in the seventies were in fact still continuing, and she had been chosen as one of the subjects. That was her truth, she knew what she saw and had scientific proof.  
She did not have cancer, she was sure of it; and yet she would not have the tests to check. She had lied to Mulder. The woman who prided herself on proof and scientific evidence, now relied on her gut feeling.  
Although Mulder also has his own truth and hand seen it with his own two eyes. Extra terrestrial life.

...The little girl skipped merrily in front of them. Her long black pigtails tied with red bobbles swayed from side to side. The name 'Sammy' was displayed on her headband.  
"Don't go too far Sammy" he warned.

"Ok" she sang.

Jenny was telling him something but he couldn't hear. He spied Scully's petite form ahead of them, he breathed a sigh of relief when he realised that she wasn't sitting on their bench but another. Her head was bowed though he could tell even in his distance...  
The little girl's skips disturbed her and she turned around. He was too far to see her facial reaction but from her stance he could tell that she was taken aback by the two other members that had joined their party. He jogged to meet her. The little girl stopped skipping a few meters in front of Scully and hurried back to her mothers side, hiding behind her.

"Hi Scully" he rested a hand on her shoulder. _Shit she looks angry._

_His face is still bruised._

"This is Jenny and her daughter Sammy". On hearing the little girls name, Scully scared at Mulder as if he was crazy. He bowed his head in embarrassment.

Remembering the two other members, Scully reached out a hand to Jenny. "Dana Scully. I'm Mulder's work partner" she shook her hand. She smiled at the little girl, still hiding behind her mother's back. "Nice to meet you Sammy. You have such a pretty name. Is that short for Samantha?" She felt the breath of Mulder's sigh on her neck.

"Uh huh" the little girl replied.

"That's a very pretty name for a very pretty girl"

"Thank-you" the little girl chirped.

Scully made eye contact with Jenny, who smiled at her knowingly. _Mulder had told her all about his Samantha_ And felt a stab of jealousy, that he would trust another woman with his sister's life, that she had a daughter with the same name as his sister and that that this girl might one day heal his wounds...

"Fox has told me all about you Dana, or is it Scully?" Jenny chuckled and smiled at Mulder. The moment they shared made Scully's bloos boil. "We must get together one evening but not this one. I just wanted to say 'hi'" she smiled sweetly, refocussing her attention on Scully.

_Shall we now?_ Scully smiled sweetly back at her but Mulder felt her anger burn through him.

"...Fox, me and Sammy will head off. See you before the game next Sunday?" He nodded and kissed her on the lips, before pecking the little girl on the cheek. The only emotion that Scully could now muster was amusement, she couldn't believe this was her partner, Fox Mulder.

"Wow Mulder, you are almost a domestic" she quipped when Jenny and Sammy were out of ear shot and took her seat back on the bench.

He smiled sheepishly. "So Scully, are you ok?"

She stared intently at him for a few moments. For that moment she had forgotten why she had called him. She remembered she was angry...about something... yes. "Uhm" she cleared her throat. "Yes. What have you been telling Samy? Did you tell him about our kiss?" it didn't come out as pissed off as she originally intended it to, too much had to processed from those short minutes.

"No I thought we were on the same wavelength there. Why?" he said seating next to her.

"Because we had been at my mother's for Sunday lunch; she was saying how she wanted to invite you over for Christmas, Samy quite audibly grumbled. When I asked about it on the way back he lashed out on me"

"He hurt you?" Mulder asked sternly

"No" she said quickly "with words. Saying all kinds of things about me and you"

"Like what?" he felt hot all of a sudden

"Something about you and me being together. I don't know some of it was in English, some of it in another language but he asked me to ask you. So..."

Mulder rested his hand to his forehead. "Ok" he looked around to check that no one was around them. "Ok, lets sit" and he moved further away from her.

"We are", she was really nervous now. "Mulder..."

"...Scully, don't talk just listen to what I have to say, they you can talk if you want to, ok?"

She took a deep breath "Ok"

He took a deep breath "Ok. So after you told me you were beginning to remember a few more things. I told Samy something to tell about those eleven months that I haven't yet told you. I was out of state, your mother was out of state... I wanted to make sure that if you remembered there was someone there you could talk to..."

"About what Mulder?" the panic couldn't be hidden from her voice.

He looked deep into her worried eyes, they were almost transparent with the unknown. He couldn't do it, not now, not the whole truth. "That during those eleven months, we had a relationship. An intense physical relationship"

_What!? _"Ok" _How? _"Ok" _Is that even allowed. _"Is that even allowed?"

She sounded like she was hyperventilating. "Probably not" he chuckled nervously.

"When?" she could only string short sentences, her mind was doing over time trying to process it all. _Intense. physical. relationship. The derelict office, the long car journeys, the motels!__  
_

_"_You had just found out your father had died...one thing led to another. Before we knew it, it became a very big situation. We didn't go public, professional and personal life separate. But we weren't careful enough because they found out and took you from me"

It all made sense to Scully. The magnetism she had felt towards him wasn't an old old flame but a recent one...why he chose her over his sister...also why...

"I wanted to tell you so many times" he cut her thought process. "but the doctor said their was too much risk"

"So you had to watch me fall in love with another man" she whispered "...And now you have Jenny and Sammy..." her mind was still trying to catch up

"And you have Samy"

They were silent for a few minutes.

"But I don't understand why me remembering would be such a cause of an alarm that you would have to tell Samy?"

_Ah,_ she had him there and he faltered to reply. "Well you know me Scully. Sometimes I over react"

_That is true_. She had no reason to doubt him. She looked up into his loveable brown eyes, and delicately fingered the bruising around it. He closed his eyes at her touch, drinking it in. "Have you been putting the cream on like I told you?" she traced her fingers down his face and along his jaw line.

"Everyday" he opened his eyes to meet her warm loving eyes, she smiled.

"So they discovered about us" she started massaging the other side of his face with her other hand. It felt so soothing on his skin, he closed his eyes again to revel in her touch. He nodded into her hands. "And they used it against us?"

"They realised how important you were", he corrected "...are to me, and what I would sacrifice for your safety. But Scully, in a relationship or not, your importance to me will never change"

She dropped her hands on her thighs. "So what do we do?"

_**What do they do?  
Sorry I am really not original with names, there are now numerous characters in this story called Samantha. I wrote it as a joke and then I decided to stick it through.  
I still don't know if it was right for M to tell S about their relationship, it wasn't supposed to be until S4 finale but now I guess that will be him telling her about the baby :0  
Tell me what you thought :)**_

_**Oh and I had always planned to do this in three parts, would it be annoying then if I created a new story to follow on this one, or shall i just continue on this same story thread...? Does that make sense?**_


	28. The Key

**Chapter**** 28: The Key**

Spoilers: Pusher S3E17

She felt the rough contours of his key across her palm as she twiddled it slowly between her thumb and forefinger. It felt rough and raw against her skin but it also felt good, a satisfying friction against an itch that longed to be scratched. She didn't know why she was there, at his door in the middle of the night. One moment she lay listening to the soft sounds of Samy sleeping, now she found herself dressed, staring through her pumps that should not really be worn on a chilly late-February evening. Through to his all too familiar door mat, as she tried to configure the urge that led her here.

Pusher had pushed her feelings. Feelings that she thought she had put to rest after her 'revelation' of their intense physical relationship. Feelings that shouldn't be felt, and the professional inside her was screaming at her to leave. She sighed, however some opposite force still lingered on to the depths of her heart pleading her to stay.

She has almost lost him. She could only now imagine how Mulder felt when something happened to her. Scully winced remebering the unwelcome feeling that washed over her when Mulder drew the gun to his own head, she had felt rotten, through and through. And Pusher, how she wanted to ... and then he had turned the gun on her...

The glint of the key caught her atttention and distracted her from her thoughts. She fancied how it was the key to his heart. And smiled softly to herself.

Her smile widened into her rare full watt 'I am so happy that you are still in my life' grin, as she heard the door lock open. And then it fell.

Jennie smiled sympathetically at the disheartened face infront of her. "I'm afraid Fox isn't here".

Scully was too shocked to respond and they were silent for a moment. "Sorry" Jennie whispered, vocally moving Scully to step out the doorway so she could slip out.

Scully admired a few of the items in Jennie's grasp. Mulder's suit, fresh and still packaged from the dry cleaners none the less. His coat which was also adorned on a coat hanger and his briefcase. Her left eyebrow cocked up, and her arms crossed in front of chest.

Jennie caught Scully's admiring eyes. The cool blue gaze rose to hers and she felt her cheeks redden and shifted her gaze embarrassed, _out of fear of this other woman? For all that she has been through, Dana Scully had to be a hardy, _she reasoned to herself. Jennie stole another glance of Scully's intense gaze. Why was she so intimidated by this younger, delicate petite who was half her size in height and quite probably body mass. _Maybe it is that which is intimidating._ Scully's anatomy contradicting her physical presence.

Seconds which felt like minutes to Jennie passed. Her eyes widened over the realisation that Scully wanted an explanation over her presence. Surely Mulder had told her about them, or after their meeting a few months ago, guess? "Fox is at the gym". Finally she had found her voice! "...He goes their quite often now. He finds it a good way to relieve his stress"

Jennie noticed Scully's lip twitch.

"...You know all his anxiety over work..." she spoke opulently, she was in familiar waters now and knew that she had more than one over the person in front of her. " ...it turns into stress. Added to that is the anxiety of his sister, his parents... you..." she lingered.

Scully sniggered and shifted her gaze to the floor before refocusing on Jennie. "Yes well I know all about the stresses in Mulder's life. More than anyone" she said sternly.

But the sympathetic smile that Jennie gave her is response told her otherwise. And deep down she knew it was true, there were so many things that Mulder kept from her. All of sudden she felt anger towards him and at the same time tears threatened, he did not trust her.

"Well that's probably true" Jennie smiled but Scully knew she didn't mean what she said and was pissed of that that this woman who dared showed sympathy towards her. She was shit fed up of sympathy, and shot Jennie a deathly stare. "... but anyway, its a much better release than alcohol...at least I think so" she finished timidly.

Scully relaxed her face as a million thoughts raced through her mind. _Mulder had/ has a drinking problem?_ How did she not know that. Yes on the odd occasion that they had gone out, his drinking had been rather excessive. _When did I last have a beer with Mulder...? More than a while. _

Scully frowned and her hands loosened their grip as she realised outside of work, Mulder had no reason to trust her because that is all they are to each other, work and the X-Files. Her hands dropped to her side, her whole body relaxed, her defence mechanism dropped and she offered Jennie a genuine smile. "Yes I think so to".

_Now she looks her young age_ and returned her smile. "I have to go. I left my daughter at home sleeping. I just came to pick up a few things that Fox asked for"

"Oh, he's moving in with you?"

"No!" Jennie chuckled. "He just doesn't want to be by himself tonight. The case took a lot out of him. He turned up at my doorstep, read Sammie a bed time story and then went to hit the gym soon after"

Scully nodded absentmindedly. "Do you feel it's odd that Mulder may find solace in the fact that your daughter bares the same name as his sister?"

"No Agent Scully I don't. There are so many daemons suffocating Fox that I find it quite shocking he can still breath" she grasped.

Scully wondered if Jennie thought she was one of them.

"...I am trying to get him to forget about his past and concentrate on his future. If not for anything, for the sake of his health"

"A future with you..."

She nodded "...and Sammie"

"How long have you known Mulder?" Scully frowned

"Almost a year. I realise that Fox has strings" again her gaze lingered on Scully a bit too long, again making Scully wonder if Jennie was referring to her "that he does not want to severe. Namely the X-Files. But as I say when it comes to his health..." She shrugged and both women stood in silence, in contemplation of Mulder and his unhealthy drive for the truth, for justice, for closure, for...?

"Well I won't keep you any longer" Scully smiled and made fast for the stairs.

"Agent Scully" she stopped her in her tracks. "the gym is only a fifteen minute drive, if you still want to see him. I know it was a difficult case. For the both of you"

...

Scully stared at Mulder running on the treadmill through the glass. He reminded her of her old pet hamster, who had the very original name of 'Hammy', and how it used to run its a wheel. Running tirelessly to whatever destination but in reality going nowhere. _Did this reflect Mulder's real life? _Would he be better to just forget about her and the X-Files and start a life with Jennie and the replacement Samantha. She wondered how long he had been running, she had been watching him for about 15 minutes she guessed, and his relentless pace hadn't slowed.

She was about to leave, when he looked in her direction. Even from a distance she could see the confusion in his eyes. She waved, and instantly felt stupid from doing so. He directed his attention back in front of him and then punched a few numbers into the treadmill. They both slowed down. Picking up his towel and water bottle he walked towards her.

"Hi" she said tiredly when he hovered over her, and offered him a small smile. She was drained and it had nothing to do with the late hour.

He nodded and took a long slurp out of his water bottle. He waited. "So did you come just for the view?"

She chuckled and a smile broke over her face. Her eyes quickly feasted over his glistening muscles and then turned their attention to the the items in the vending machine so they wouldn't do it any longer. When their silence became unbearable she looked into his eyes. "Your eyes are almost blue" she hummed.

"That's because they're looking at yours"

She knew that wasn't the correct explanation but nodded anyway. "I just came to see how you were...I couldn't sleep" She stared at her feet shifting on the floor.

"Samy not at home?"

"Yeah he is" making eye contact with his now hazels. "I just..." she kept their contact and shrugged.

"It was a difficult case. For both of us" he repeated Jennie's earlier words.

"You sound just like Jennie" he gave her a quizzical look "I met her at your apartment". She remembered something and fished into her coat pocket and produced his key. "It's yours" she urged.

"I know, I gave it to you. Why are you giving it me back?" a tinge of panic in his voice.

"Its just a key Mulder; and, with you moving in with Jennie, it's useless to me"

"Is that what she told you?" not giving anything away.

She shrugged, fatigue consuming her; she really didn't want this conversation topic. She rested her eyes. "I'm tired" she murmured.

"Scully" she frowned but didn't open his eyes. "It's not just a key. I had this key especially cut because you are the only person I trust with my life. You hold the only spare keys to both my personal and professional life"

She fluttered her eyes open. "Mulder, this conversation is a bit to intense for this time of night" she whined.

He smiled and enclosed her into his embrace placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"No you're all sweaty" she complained but at the same time happily breathed in his scent before resting her head on his chest.

"Embrace the sweat"

They stood for a while, Mulder gently carresing her scalp, she felt herself drifting off bit then remembered something. "If I'm the only one with a key, how come Jennie was in your apartment?"

"Because she dropped me off earlier so I could get my gym stuff"

"Oh"

He raised her chin up to his gaze with his index finger and smiled down at her relaxed sleepy face and baby blue eyes. _She looks so young._ "Ok?" widening his smile.

She knew he was laughing at him but she didn't care. She was just happy to see that he was alive, smiling down at her. She nodded. But then felt tears form in her eyes and she buried her face in Mulder's chest again. "I was just so scared earlier" She sobbed.

"I know. I was too" he said truthfully. "I don't know if I could have lived with myself if I had hurt you" and he used his index finger again to raise her head and placed a tender kiss on her forehead; both eyes, tasting her salty tears; her nose, making her chuckle. His eyes and lips hovered over her lips. She let in a silent gasp, ogling his confused expression. He was fighting against something. Slowly he leaned in and placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth, before tucking her under his chin and holding her, tight.

...

**Sim Residence. One year and six months.**

"Mimi...Mimi" Mrs Sim called from the kitchen. They had just returned from the hospital for Emily's routine injection. The doctor had once again complemented Mrs Sim on their parenting in reflection to Emily's health and progress.

"Mimi?" she poked her head around the living room, which had now doubled up as Emily's playroom. But she wasn't there. _Strange_. Mrs Sim frowned and warily looked around the room. She lay down on the ground. She wasn't under the sofa. She got up on all fours and turned to the playpen which only fifteen minutes ago had she strapped Emily in her activity chair. The straps lay undone at his side and Bunny lay derelict on the cream plush carpet. _Strange_. And the playpen was still intact. _Even more strange_. "Emily!" She looked frantically across the room and ran out of the room.

"Emily!"

She found her standing at the front door. She still seemed too small to be standing, a fraction of the size of the front door, but yet her tiny hand reached the letter box. "There you are sweetheart" she said breathing a sigh of relief. "Are you posting things through the letter box?" She hummed but Emily didn't react.

"Mimi? ...Mimi?" She knelt down next to Emily, her knees brushed against the oversized books. She looked up at her daughter with horror. _Surely she couldn't have dragged them herself!_ "Emily!" She rested her hands on her daughter's shoulders who jumped at her touch, making her jump. Emily looked scared, almost horrified at her mother and began crying. "No baby it's ok, it's ok" She tried to soothe. "It's Mama, Mama. Going on baby say Mama". She picked her up into her embrace and placed kisses on her. Eventually Emily's tears died down. "It's ok baby, I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt" she said walking over to the phone and dialing the hospital.

...

Mr Sim met them in the blue people carrier in the front drive. Mrs Sim's hands where's still positioned on the drivers wheel. Emily sat in her car seat, wearing a green and purple spotted onsie, a strawberry-like woollen hat and her fluorescent pink snow boots that they had bought her when they went skiing over Christmas. She was a sitting fashion disaster but Mrs Sim had gotten her ready in a haste. Emily twiddled the large brass front door key in her hand. Bunny lay flung on the seat next to her, forgotten.

Mr Sim rapped on the driver window, but Mrs Sim didn't react. He walked around and got into the passenger seat and looked at his wife expectantly. Her face was ashen, she looked as though she had been crying. "There's something wrong with our baby"

"What do you mean? Did the doctors tell you something?"

"They said she was fine"

Mr Sim turned his focus on to his daughter. "Emily" he removed the key from her mouth, Emily raised her gaze to him and frowned. "No". Emily screamed at Mr Sim in protest.

He winced at the noise. "She seems fine to me" and smiled at his wife.

Mrs Sim didn't return it and looked him square in the eyes. "She doesn't know who I am. She doesn't even know her own name"

Mr Sim turned his focus back on his daughter. Emily was still staring grumpily at him. "Emily" tickling her, she let out a joyful squeal and squirmed. "Your ok aren't you? Tell Mummy your ok". Emily moved her mouth but no sound came out. Mr Sim gave her back the key, which she took, gurgling appreciatively. He turned his attention back to his wife. "See she's ok" he said getting out of the car.

Mrs Sim watched her husband walk into the house. She looked into her rear view mirror. "EMILY! NO!" Emily froze, reacting to the sound and then started crying. Mrs Sim rolled her eyes and got out the car.

Emily was whimpering when she sat in the passenger seat next to her. _Was she over reacting? It was only last week that she started speaking, was it just a one off? _"Emily" she wiped the tears off her daughters face. She nudged her and the same blue eyes made contact. Mrs Sim picked up Bunny and gave it to Emily, who flung it on the car floor. Mrs Sim sighed, "your not ok are you Mimi?"

Emily popped the key out of her mouth, and placed the slobbery item in her mother's hand.

**_Not the most exciting chapter but...there were points that had to be written into the story line. The Sims will start having a more prominent role in the story. _**

**_Long story over my name change. I went on holiday leaving fanfic logged onto my iPAd. Someone thought it would be funny to change my password etc... anyway I actually like the name, so I'm keeping it :)_**


	29. The Storm

**_I only re-read half of it. sorry for any mistakes, if it is really dire i will re-edit._**

**_Set between 'Avatar' and 'Quagmire'_**

**CHAPTER 29: The Eye**

**PART I**

**The Basement, early May 1996, 8:30**

It was a beautiful May morning. A huge contrast to yesterday's morning. The tropical storm that had not quite reached hurricane status had finally passed after 36 hours of the vast majority of the DC population being housebound, with no power. Parts of the city were still without power; the majority of transport systems at a standstill; burst mains and sewer pipes yet to be welded, not to mention the rubble; but, the sun was out, the birds had returned and after 36 hours in confinement , it was Utopia.

The child had a habit of running off to whatever held her attention at that particular moment. It was a habit that her mother had told her off for time and time again. A habit especially not to be performed when under the supervision of others._ But was he an other_? She didn't think so.

So at this particular moment it was a fluffy tanned Pomeranian that stood impatiently by the lift at her mother's friend's work place. A detour he had informed was 'very important' and would 'only take a minute'. She did not like the building, its environment was cold and unwelcoming, there were no children. The security guard, Adam, had taken her bag to check its contents. 'She's carrying a gun' he had informed Security Man much to her horror, burying her face in the back of his legs. _It wasn't true_. But then both men were laughing...She would never understand adults she concluded. The Security Man then asked her if she was off to play football. _Was he stupid? _she thought, dressed in her tutu. She felt it did not warrant an answer and instead hid her face further into her mother's friend's legs. She knew that she was acting like a baby, but her mother was not here to tell her off.

"Mulder?" Scully said in surprise but then thought, _this is Mulder, of course he would be at work over the weekend, especially after being confined for a day and a half. _She glanced back down at the dark haired girl crouched by her feet, trying to teach her dog to sit. She cocked up an eyebrow._ But then again, maybe he wasn't at home._

"Hey Scully" he said retreating from stairs. They unashamedly appreciated the others' tight civilian clothes.

_The Levi's are very flattering, _they both thought over the other.

"Sit!" Sammy's sharp order awoke them from themselves.

Mulder put his hands in his pockets and leisurely walked over to Scully's side. She returned his smile. "You're in a good mood" he observed.

"Its a beautiful day Mulder" she commented, matching the beautiful child like grin that graced over her face.

"So...waiting for the lift?"

"MMm hmm" she nodded

"Scully" he rested a hand on her shoulder "the building has no power, the lift won't work" he whispered.

"Oh". She pouted and shook her head, then laughed. "I guess I didn't get much sleep" sweeping her bangs from her face.

"Yep and in 9 months time i'm sure all the maternity wards will be full" he quipped and removed the strays she'd missed, tucking them behind her ear.

_Casually talking about the sexual antics of DC. Me and Samy. Him and Jenny? Of course. I can discuss the topic of sex with him, we're both adults,_ she convinced herself and replied in what she hoped wasn't a too nervous laugh. Her cheeks blazed when she thought, _we've apparently had sex._

"Hey! Stop" Sammie whined.

The partners shiffted their attention to Sammie and Queequeg. "Oh God, he's humping her leg. Queequeg!" She scolded pulling the dog by the lead and towards the emergency staircase.

Mulder grabbed Sammie's hand, pulling her to her feet, to follow in the wake of his partner. "And people trust her with their lives" he joked to Adam.

...

"Here, do you want to take him" she asked when they reached the last step and placed Queequeg back on the floor. Sammie didn't respond with words but smiled smugly, nodding her head enthusiastically. She ran off down the corridor with the little dog yapping at her feet. "Isn't it weird how we have to go up to go down?"

_Does she mean hypothetically?_ He could usually follow her thought process. "Sorry Scully I don't follow?"

"The stairs. There is no direct route, we have to go up to the first floor to go down to the ground floor" she said whistfully.

"I never though of it. Why are you at work on a Saturday?"

She groaned. "A piece of evidence that I wish I had taken home with me Thursday"

"The Clune case?" She nodded. "It would take you a hell alot quicker to write if you could just admit what you saw. Vampires"

She unlocked the office door and dead panned, looked deep into his hazel eyes, hoping that what she would say next would transmit to his soul and that maybe this time he would consider her words when she said "there are no such things as Vampires".

"Yes there are. Sammie!" There was no reply. "I - we both saw them. Sammie!"

"Yes" came a faint reply and yap.

"Their by the bathrooms" Scully said turning the door knob and heading for her section of the office.

"Ergh Scully..." he popped his head round the door "she's in the womens"

...

Mulder was busy flicking through the filing draw in his side of the office. Sammie was sprawled out on the floor in the centre of the room, mid staring contest with Queequeg. Scully, although she had tried to resist the temptation was now tidying the stray bits of bric a brac, which coincidently all belonged to Mulder, that were offending the neatness of her side of the office. Mulder's coffee mug; one of Mulder's ties; X-Files post; receipts. All of which were in Mulder's charge and were supposed to be cluttering his side of the office._ He just treats it as a dumping ground, _she grumbled to herself. A shirt that needed to be laundered ...

She scooped them all up into a cardboard box and dumped them infront of his desk. It made a loud noise and Scully fixed her hands on her hips ready to snap. But Mulder was too engrossed in the X-File in his hand and Sammie too engrossed with mimicking Queequeg's facial movements. Scully watched their tongues meet. _Thats hygienic_. She swayed her hips to the side to glance back in Mulder's direction, his focus had shifted to the next page. _One hell of a parent you make._

"Peanut" walking over, she crouched to Sammie's level. "Don't lick the dog tongue. Do you know what germs are?"

"You mean bacteria?"

"Yes, dogs tongues are plagued with lots of bacteria from licking themselves, other dogs, excrement, urine..."

"Eeeew" Sammie pushed herself up from the ground and made a face. She eyed the panting dog dubiously before she went back to teaching it how to roll over and sit.

Scully stood to see Mulder watching her, mouth open. She frowned at his expression, _what?!_

"What did you just call her?"

_What did I just call her_? "Peanut I think?"

_Thats what you used to call the baby_. "Oh, I thought you said something else" he shrugged and turned his back to resume his X-File flicking.

"Mulder" she snapped and indicated to the box on the floor. "Keep it to your side please".

...

"What!" she shrieked at the fax, Neil, the FBI forensic intern had sent, with the evidence she should have waited for Thursday afternoon. She picked up the acetate paper and held it to the light that streamed from the cell sized window. Studying it, she checked it three times to make sure. _He's made a mistake_. "Really they'll let anyone in"' she grumbled.

"Scully" Mulder called.

"Mulder" she answered skimming through Neil's report again.

"You screamed"

Scully picked up the envelope and all its contents and walked over to Mulder's desk laying them all out flat on the surface. She spied Mulder and Sammie out of the corners of her eyes, he was still in his thinking pose and she was still trying to train the fur ball. She was now attempting 'paw'. "Really Mulder, God help me if I was actually in trouble".

"I can differnetiate" he mumbled, clearly still finding the X-File the most important thing in the room.

"Shi-ugar" she saved "I'm going to have to do it myself" She sighed narrowing her eyes on the second piece of acetate. "Both of them"_  
_

"What's that?" He moved to hover over the display on the desk.

"The blood analysis. According to this, Rhydian Clune is between 180 and 230 years old and Aiden Clune is between 160 and 210 years old"

"Still young for a Vampire" He picked up Neil's report and skimmed it over. "Oo tertiary syphalis, that sounds painful" he winced.

Scully rolled her eyes, how many times would she have to tell him...

"There are no such things as Vampires" Sammie's voice chirped stealing Scully's thunder. Picking herself up and walked over to the adults. She placed her hand in Mulder's spare one. "Right?" She asked timidly, her black almonds eyes looking uncertainly into Mulder's.

"That's right" he said picking her up and ignoring Scully's wicked smile. He glanced at the clock. "Oo Sammie we only have 15 minutes to get you to Ballet"

She jumped out of his embrace and ran for the door. "I can't be late for ballet, Miss Lucy will tell you off. Agatha is always late and Miss Lucy says... The door wont open" she said frantically turning the knob, her two eyes now like saucers on the two adults.

**PART II: 9:17**

Head in hands, Scully's winced as she heard the lock break. Mulder bowed his head and cursed. Sammie who like most children when they found themselves in a serious situation, sat deadly quiet. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sammie's eyes widen. _Fox just said a bad word._

Scully slumped out of Mulder's chair and shuffled her way over to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. She didn't have to say anything else. They both knew the countless times that she had told him not to slam the door so hard as it would damage the lock. She had also told him to leave the lock as he would only make it worse. The power was out, she had left her cell at home and could see no cell like bulge on Mulder.

...

**11:10**

The basement was like an oven, all three of them had removed their socks and shoes and now lounged around the office barefoot. Sammie had resumed her position sprawled out in the centre of the room, Queequeg laying comfortably on her back. A stack of computer paper and a box full of different coloured flip chart markers. Stripped down in just her pink leotard and black shorts, she was as content as could be.

Mulder who had taken off his T and rolled up the hem of his Levi's, was happily re-familiarising himself with various X-Files. As content as he could be. "Oh Scully" he called. "You'll like this one too, down in the Florida keys, treasure and maritime curses, a few gho- poltigiests" he quickly changed for Sammie's benefit, and his.

But all Scully could hear was the sounds of the ocean and blue whales. She'd moved her chair to her side of the office; Mulder's walkman plugged in her ears; feet propped on the machinery; Levi's rolled up, T rolled to the top of her arms and to just above her Levi's waist band. The chair was expertly positioned so that her back was to the rest of the office, the stream of sun falling across her face. She was as content as she could be.

She frowned when she felt her feet being moved and pulled down her headphones.

"... ies hungry, she has some slices of apple but I want to see what's in the fridge" he crouched and rested her bare feet on his bare shoulder. She wiggled her toes, playing them against his ear.

"There's still all that free macaroni that I got from that cafe opening" he said analysing the contents of the fridge. "... Plenty of drink...Vampire blood samples. Do you think it will all still be good?"

"Probably". She wiggled her toe again. "You should save the macaroni for later. There should be a some grapes in their, she can have them for now"

He took out the grapes and deposited her feet back on to the machinery. "You want some?"

She shook her head and placed the headphones back on. She saw him roll his eyes and start to protest, but she just leaned her head back and closed her eyes; soaking in the rays again, omitting Mulder from sight and mind.

After 10 minutes she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Sammie's tiny frame stood to the side of her, a bunch of grapes and a few slices of apple in her hand. She carefully poured the rations into Scully's palm. It was then Scully noticed Sammie's hair! Mulder had taken it out of its top bun because she was complaining it hurt, it now resembled one of those pocket troll's hair, fish hook shaped.

They made eye contact. "Thanks" Scully smiled and was rewarded with a gappy tooth smile before Sammie skipped off into the other room.

...

**13:20**

Scully stretched in her chair, she could no longer listen to whale music anymore, or the sounds of the Serengeti for that matter.

She walked into the main room. Mulder with an X-File in hand sat staring out the window. Sammie was on her eighth artwork, the rest surrounded the floor around her. "You know" Mulder said carefully, eyes still fixed on the window. "Sammie's the right size to fit through that window, if we gave her boost. She could tell the security guard that were locked down here". He turned to see Scully's 'are you mad' expression. "Yeah your right" he said refocusing his attention to the file in front of him.

"Why don't we just kick down the door"

"It's a fire proof door. We would have hernias before it even budged"

She shrugged and went to pick up the contents she had left on his desk. He moved out the way for her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to conduct that blood analysis, I have all the necessary equipment..."

"Can I help?" The little girl chirped from the side of her, making Scully jump.

"I don't think thats a good idea" Mulder input. "How about you do Scully's portrait instead"

"But I don't want to draw anymore" she whined. Queequeg yapped beside her feet in agreement.

**14:15**

"Ok now just a small squirt remember, hardly any pressure" Scully whispered as she guided Sammie's hand over the microscope. Scully had her lab coat on and goggles, she had borrowed one of Sammie's bobbles to tie up the top half of her hair. Sammie also adorned lab goggles; and a make shift lab apron using a tea towel, knotted behind her neck and waist; her hair had been tied back in a long plat. Mulder hovered in the background.

A tiny drop of blood fell out of the pipet and on to the slide. "Excellent" Scully praised, Sammie breathed out a sigh of relief. "See if you can do the next one without my help" she said standing back. She turned and smiled at Mulder before refocusing her attention on Sammie's shakey hand.

A second tiny drop of blood fell out of the other pipet, onto the other slide. "Now carefully put the pipet back into the test tube". Sammie did as she was told. "Well done" Scully praised again. Sammie did a little dance. "Now wash your hands for 30 seconds".

"What's this called?" Scully asked.

Sammie turned from the sink, the goggles balanced on the tip of her nose. "A conical flask"

"And this?"

"A Bunsen burner"

"Good, we'll make a scientist of you yet. This?"

"The periodic table"

"What does H stand for?"

"Hydrogen"

"O"

"Oxygen"

Mulder smiled sadly in the background. This is what it should have been like for her, with their little Matilda-Samantha.

"H2O?"

"Water!"

...

**15:45**

"That's impossible" Scully mumbled, walking back into the room where she had left Mulder and Sammie pigging out on the macaroni that she had heated with the Bunsen burner.

"What's is?" muffled Mulder, mouth full of food.

Sammie giggled and copied. "Yeah, what is?" She muffled.

"The blood tests"

"Came back the same?" She didn't have to answer. "Vampires. Blood doesn't lie"

Sammie abruptly dropped her plastic spork, her wide eyes searched for Scully's. Scully raised both her eyebrows at her in response.

Sammie picked up the spork and dug her food nervously. "But I thought you said not to be afraid of Vampires, ghosts and the Boogie Man because they didn't exist" she mumbled.

"They don't" Scully interjected before Mulder could respond. "Someone's playing a joke on us"

"But he said blood never lies"

Scully crouched to Sammie's eye line. "Don't think about. You ready for the next game?". Sammie nooded eagerly.

...

**16:45**

They had cleared the food and pushed the desk as far to the wall as it would go. Hovering in Mulder's arms, Sammie slid the window open. "Now don't forget to tell them that we are down here Sammie, and call your mother. Let her know where you are. How do you get to the front entrance again?"

"Turn left and then left again" They had dressed her in her spare clothes, dark washed kids Levi's and a pink T and put her pink hooded duffle coat back on her for padding. She had wanted to wear her ballet shoes, reasoning that she hadn't had a chance to wear them today but they insisted on her Doc Martens.

"And which way if left?"

She waved her left hand. "Remember don't take to strangers, don't talk to anyone but Adam" Scully inputed.

"Ok" Queequeg yapped on the floor at the scenery in front of him. "Bye Queequeg" Sammie waved.

"Ok" the partners said simultaneously and Munder hoisted her through the window.

**17:15**

Mulder paced the room. Scully and Queequeg followed him with their eyes. "She should be back by now". He glanced back at the window. "Scully do you think that you could squeeze through that window?"

She scoffed. "I do have an ass and breasts". And then in on effort to put his mind at ease' "so Vampires, ghosts and the Boogie Man don't exist?"

He smiled sheepishly. "She has difficulty sleeping"

"So she doesn't know what you do?"

"No..." The sound at the door made both partners stop and turn in it's direction. Queequeg yapped.

"It's me!" Sammie called. Queequeg yapped and scurried to the door wagging his tail, he sniffed the bottom of the door and then yapped again.

"Agent Scully, Agent Mulder, we're going to blast the door down. I suggest you move as far away from the door as possible", Adam's voice called. Scully picked up Queequeg and followed Mulder into the side office. They heard murmurs and then silence. Then a loud bang, followed by the heavy thud of the door clattering onto the floor.

"That is what you wanted me to break down?" Mulder deadpanned.

"No that is what I told you to stop slamming" she hissed.

Where the door used to be, Mulder was greeted by Adam, another security guard, Sammie, Jennie...and his mother!

Jennie leaned in for a hug, Mulder rested his hands on her shoulder and side stepped her to reach his mother.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

Teena looked just as shocked to see the Mulder there. "I er, I came to visit you. You weren't in your apartment so I thought I would visit this old place" she chuckled. "When we stayed in Potomac, I would bring you and Samantha here to hustle your father out of work. He spent a lot of his time in this basement office" she sighed. "Do you remember that?"

Mulder shook his head. "My name is Samantha" Sammie chirped. Mulder closed his eyes over Sammie's flawless timing.

Teena poked her head round her son to acknowledge the others.

Jennie stepped forward. "My name is Jennie, I'm a good friend of your sons. This is my daughter Samantha, we call her Sammie for short"

Teena stiffened when she heard the name but smiled at both of them. "Nice to meet you both"

Scully attempted to snake back into the office, she didn't have to be present for this. But Queequeg gave her away. All eyes turned on her.

"Mom, you remember my partner..."

"Dana, of course" Teena said, moving towards Scully. She offered her hand which Scully shook awkwardly with her spare left hand. She smiled, searching Scully's eyes.

Scully stared back, feeling the old woman's stare go through her eyes and into her soul. She realised she was looking for something. She found it, Scully could feel it. At first the sensation felt sweet running through her body, but it quickly soured, barbed wire knotted in the pit of Scully's stomach. She broke eye contact and the feelings vanished.

"I'm sorry" Scully apologised bringing her gaze back to Teena's. "The last time I saw you was..."

"At Bill's funeral" she cut Scully off. "You gave me solace that my son was still alive. But we have met before..."

"During those..."

"Yes we know all about your amnesia dear" she said in a way that made Scully's cheek burn red and almost feel at fault. "You have a sweet dog" she said scratching Queequeg behind his ears.

Sammie had decided the attention had been off her for too long. "Mommy, I helped Dana solve a mystery. And guess what, they were Vampires because blood doesn't lie".

Mulder whipped his attention to the little girl. Jennie shook her head smiling at her daughters's imagination. "What are you talking about?" she said stroking her daughter's hair. Jennie looked up at Mulder giving him a questioning look.

"Yes what is she talking about Fox?" Teena asked.

Mulder shrugged and it was at that moment that Scully realised that they knew nothing about the X-Files, the paranormal activities that the work consisted of. He fed them lies. She laughed inwardly. Mulders attention turned to her for help.

Scully cleared her throat. "Mulder, I'm going to head off. It was nice to meet you again" she smiled to Teena. "Jennie". She crouched to Sammie's eye line, who was stroking Queequeg. "Bye Sammie".

Sammie lurched into Scully giving her a hug. "Bye Dana. I had the best day ever" she said enunciating the last sentence for emphasis.

"Yes it was quite a day" Scully agreed. She smiled at Jennie's shocked expression; squeezed Mulder's hand for luck before making towards the exit. Adam and the other security guard followed behind. "The lift is working now Agent Scully".

"I have to meet an old friend Fox but I'll see you in your apartment this evening". Teena informed, smiling at Jennie and Sammie before brushing a kiss goodbye on her son's cheek.

_Shit_ Mulder thought over the attire of his apartment

"We better be off to. Erm thanks? For taking Sammie to ballet for me" Both adults laughed.

"See you soon" Mulder said giving her a tender kiss on the lips, thanking her silently for not blaming him for the day. Sammie gave him a big hug goodbye, and like she did with Scully, thanked him for the best day ever.

That left Mulder in the basement hallway by himself. _Well that could have been a lot worse._

_**No Sims this chapter the next one will be just them...at least that's the plan at the moment.**_


	30. End of Part I

_**Short chapter to end Part I. Not a very original chapter title but then I couldn't think or a better one. Continued from last chapter ...**_

**Chapter 30: End of Part I**

_July 31st 1996: One year and 11 months_

_There is something wrong with my daughter. My husband has just bought her back from her routine injection. And once again my husband left with our daughter and brought back a stranger who is an alien to her surroundings, her parents, and herself. Although I appear to be the only one savvy to it. Robert, his parents, Emily's doctor all assure me that she is fine. They want me to go on some sort of medication. I may not have carried her for 9 months in my womb but I am her mother, I know my daughter and I know there is something wrong with her._

**End of July 1996: Scully's Apartment, 19:35**

Scully frowned when she saw Mulder's smiling face through her peep hole. "Mulder?" She asked concerned, she hadn't expected to see him until Monday morning at work, suited up behind his desk.

"Good evening Scully. May I compliment you on your attire..."

"I'm haven't changed Mulder" she hummed sweetly at him, closing the door behind her. She rested her weight on the front door. He obviously had, she thought inspecting him head toe. Showered, hair combed, polo shirt, smart chinos and loafers. She was impressed.

"I don't know...your hair..."

"What do you want Mulder?" She laughed.

"My mom spent 10 minutes in my apartment before she decided we should go out for dinner"

"Cant really blame her"

"You've never complained"

"Because I have no right to complain"

"Well I spent an hour cleaning especially..."

She pouted "I feel slightly offended"

He chuckled. "No don't feel offended because my mom is sat in the car outside. Hoping that you will say yes and be our honoured guest for dinner"

Scully's eyes bulged. "No Mulder I can't. Look at me I'm all sweaty, I'm not dressed for dinner."

With her invitation, Mulder took this opportunity to linger over her form. Scully squirmed slightly, wrapping her arms around her in an effort to protect her from his stare.

"I think you like fine. But if you want to change, we can wait"

She made a face. "Samy's here" she almost whispered.

"Please Scully it will mean a lot to my mum"

"To your mother" she said carefully smiling.

He sighed and returned her smile. "And me" he admitted begrudgingly. They held eye contact for a few minutes, with their eyes Mulder willed her to go, while Scully willed him to go.

"Please Scully. I don't think I'm in her good books at the moment".

Scully slouched "why did you come, you knew Samy was here" she whined. She observed his pleading puppy dog eyes for a few more minutes. "Wait for me in the car. I'll be there in ten".

...

Mulder reduced the gas as they drew nearer to her apartment. They had dropped his mother off at the airport. She would be in the air by now.

"Mulder!" She scolded when he rolled past her apartment.

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Pull over"

He didn't stop. "I owe you a desert. I thought we could go over to the Gun Men's for poker and pancakes. I promise it's not strip"

"No. I would rather not spend the rest of my evening being eye raped by Frohike. And as for you, I have a whole week of work to look forward to" she said in a sweet sarcastic manner.

Mulder pretended to look offended, maybe he was, and made a U-turn back in her apartment direction, grumbling.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"You're just so serious lately. It's like your a completely different person"

Scully suddenly felt defensive. "My abduction, my memory loss, my sister dead due to mistaken identity, over me. I would say life has gotten serious Mulder" she mumbled, tears stinging.

He grabbed her hand and gave it a good squeeze. "Even more reason to let your hair down every now and then". She nodded absentmindedly, pulling her hand out of his grasp. But he tightened his hold. "Those moments are what set us free"

**Dulles Airport, DC: 22:15**

She waited impatiently by the gate. Her name was being called over the tannoy. She wouldn't go though. Not until she had to. He said that he would meet her here and he had always been good at keeping his word.

"Final call for Elizabeth Mulder, flying American flash A2724, your flight is leaving. That's final..."

She saw him walking towards her. Under the intense airport lights she could see how much he had aged, but then she supposed so had she. She sighed at him and walked towards the gate, but he didn't follow. She looked at him questionably.

"Last minute business is keeping me in DC" he explained in his clipped English accent.

She turned and thundered towards. "I wasn't lying earlier. I want my daughter back".

"I don't doubt for a minute you were. Give me some time. I will come to you and see if I can help" he said extending a well manicured hand.

She glared at his outstretched hand, pushing it aside, she leaned in. "I want her back".


	31. PART II: Embers

**KINDLING**

**PART II: EMBERS**

**'The loss and imminent deterioration of his daughter is not the only impeding one in Mulder's life. Created hopes, evidently dashed'.**

**_So how is part ii going to be different to i, you will just have to see - the clue is in the title. _**

**_I guess it was a warm up for part II, as I could have started from a few chapters before 'Emily' and not put you all through the first 30 chapters, but now you have aaaaaalot of context. _  
**

**_Whereas before Sculders' relationship was turbulent, in part II it is more calm, they are more comfortable with each other and their boundaries. This is partly because they're older, they've been in each others constant company for four years now and have respect for each other, suffered together. Scully is starting to embrace Mulder's quest and now have a common goal for finding the truth. Although_****_ there will be a few bumps for them to overcome._**

**__****_What I was supposed to show in part I but don't think I did it successfully because I started with S's dads death, was how fun and carefree she was and how that has and will change to a more serious demure. But maybe I can add in a flashback ep because I don't know if you guys have cottoned on but S and M knew each other when they were younger._**

**__****_Mulder i plan the same just a lot more angrier._**

**__****_CHAPTER STARTS HERE, one month on from the last chapter:_**

**Chapter 31: Emblers**

**The Basement: Early September 1996, 11:40**

He had tried to maintain masculine control of the office but it had been over run by the opposite sex. Craving more information about Scully's holiday, about her five storey dream accomodation, about the food, about the men, about the nightlife, about ...! Everything it seemed to Mulder. But most importantly about the rock. His ears could no longer stand the gabble of questions surrounding him from his desk chair and retreated to Scully's side of the office.

...

Mulder's head could be seen edging round the corner of the side office door, just to check they were still there. Of course he could hear them, but a another peak wouldn't hurt anyone.

He held for as long as his stomach muscles would hold before they started to seize. Long enough to count that at least six of the women were wearing stockings, four he guessed not wearing sensible underwear. He smirked to himself. Then, so as to not abstain a guilty conscious pretended to seriously study, even moulding his face and stance to his 'scholar' pose, the flasks in Scully's side of the office. He cleared his throat to add to the effect. He was also worried that Scully had a camera hidden, and would punish him for his acts later.

...

He now leaned against the side office door, pretending to be engrossed in the brochure he found on a pile of Scully's papers. Stood in another scholar pose, he slowly inched his gaze up again. _Seven and not wearing suitable panties!_ His subconscious shouted excitedly. Lowering his gaze quickly down before he got caught. Although if no one saw him, technically was he staring?

He smirked to himself again, it was like he was in his own personal porn movie. But it was real. What he would like to do to some of the asses and breasts, hunched over his desk, being paraded in his face. His thoughts alone definitely broke all rules of sexual harassment in the work area. If he wasn't against sharing so much, he could have sold tickets to the rest of the male work force in J Edgar Hoover.

Within the sea of brunettes, jet blacks and blondes, he spied his petite rouge in the middle, sat in his chair, showing off the rock on her marriage finger. He wondered if she was wearing stockings ... but quickly threw the thought out of his head. Samy and his twenty carot cut diamond had peed all over her.

His brochure fell out of his hand, making an over the top noise when it hit the ground. Heads turned. He smiled sheepishly but refused to show guilt. He picked up the brochure and turned his back from the Amazonianas of the FBI, before they could even accuse him.

He regarded the brochure and saw the cross section of a vagina staring at him. He dropped it again in disgust, guessing it was probably a reminiscent from one of Scully's gynaecologist visits. _Would a doctor still have her own gynaecologist?_ He thought picking the brochure up by its edge and flinging it back on the pile. He was dusting his hands of it when he heard her call his name.

"Yes Scully" he turned, looking attentive, giving them his best, all American smile. He was glad he got his teeth re-whitened at the dentists the other week because he definitely saw a few heads swoon.

Although not Scully's, who knew his game. Who had never heard her being addressed by him so sweetly.

She smiled up at him and for a moment it was only her in the room. Her cheerful sea blue eyes sparkled within her impressive golden tanned face, sprinkled with a few dark brown freckles, framed by her now strawberry blonde new hairstyle. In all the years that he had known her, he didn't think he had ever seen her more beautiful then she was at this point in her life. With her age came more beauty. He frowned, realising her stained blood red lips were moving.

"...I said were going to take an early lunch, get all this oestrogen out of your office"

"Were partners in this office, whats mine is yours" widening his smile, he heard a few 'awws' and patted himself on the back.

She cocked up an eyebrow. _Really that's why all my stuff is cooped in that side office._

"You stay here Scully, I'll leave" he offered, pulling out his 'charm' face for their audience.

"That's ok" she said getting up and walking towards him. "I'm hungry". She brushed past him to collect her handbag.

He was distracted though by the women leaving his office. He ran to open the door for them, earning him another pat on the back. He counted seventeen eye-sex pairs of eyes linger past him. Number eighteen was his favourite sea blue pair, eyeing him dubiously, while their owner wrapped her pashmina round her neck. "You ok Mulder?" she quipped, checking the temperature on his forehead with the back of her hand. Fully aware that at this moment, he was more than ok.

"Never better"

...

She eged shyly through the door when she returned back from lunch. The wave of guilt, which pounced on her the moment she was alone in the lift, was sloshing around her. Beating against her heart and subconscious.

She gave him one of her rare full watt smile. Which earned her a quizzical look from him.

"You ok Scully" he asked, getting up and walking over to her.

She hung her pashmina on the coat stand and slouched, before perking up again. "Yeeaah" she decided. "Are you ok Mulder?"

He nodded. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, I guess I wanted to tell you about the engagement myself. Not have you overhear it off of me telling a hoard of women"

"Ah" he said, retreating to the safety of his desk chair, where a desk placed between him and Scully, and his annoyingly still lingering feelings for her. "No harm done" he said simply and busied himself back with the X-Files in front of him.

It was their first day back from their holidays. Scully had left four weeks prior for Dubai with Samy, after a week of pencil-to-ceiling competitions, Mulder decided to take three of the eleven weeks of holiday the bureau had been pleading him to take. Today was supposed to be spent re-acquanting themselves with the X-Files. A task thoroughly enjoyed by Mulder. Whilst organising them into importance, a task thoroughly enjoyed by Scully. Although they hadn't got very far, and were not likely to get any further, the longer Scully sat absentmindedly grilling herself over the way in which Mulder found out about her engagement. After all they had been through, what they meant to each other, she thought he deserved better.

Mulder loudly cleared his throat in a attempt to capture her attention. "So Dubai was successful?" he asked, indicating to her rock.

She smiled whistfully at it like a school girl.

"I would be careful where you wear that. Someone would definitely bump you for that. And I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of your female colleagues you where showing it off to earlier" he hummed, getting up to put a stack of X-Files back in the drawer.

She attempted to look innocent. Was she showing it off? She guessed she was.

"So where have you been? Your tan is arguably in another league to mine" she eyed his tan face, the light blondness that spiked in the tips of his hair, his sleeves rolled exposing his brown muscular arms.

"Florida. More for your money and miles. Traveled along the state coastline. Took Sammie to Disney Land. Oh! I got you something" he remembered, moving to unclasp his briefcase. "Your very own little green men"

She laughed at the three alien key ring. "Toy Story. I didn't get you anything" she said guiltily.

"That's ok, I know you had another person on your mind"

She felt her cheeks going red. "How did you find Disney Land?" She cleared her throat, changing the subject.

"It was hell" he said re-seating.

She chuckled. "No Dad never liked it much either. Who was Sammie's favourite Disney Princess?"

"She's not really into the Princesses. She's a Pochahontas girl..." he said frowning at the contents of a report. "Scully" he stopped short. "What is your knowledge on Siamese twins and Rossby Waves?"

"Why?"

"Because there's an X-File here..."

Scully rolled her eyes. She was back.


	32. Not Your Son

_**This chapter ties back to two chapters before, where Mulder's mother asks the well manicured man for her daughter back. Re-watching the S3 finale where his mum has a stroke after meeting with CSM, I started wondering what it was they were maybe discussing and this was it:**_

**Chapter 32: Not Your Son**

**PART I  
September 1996, MA  
10:25**

_May 19th 1995_

_My dearest Elizabeth,_

_Although on occasion in the others presence, it has been almost nineteen years since we last truly saw each other. _

_However, I still remember the day I first saw you. That Easter luncheon at Clives. You wore a yellow sun dress and white sun hat. I carried you to the lake because you were wearing those darn stilettos that were already too high. It had rained a lot the evening before and your heels kept sinking into the grass._

_When I saw you crying in the bathroom on our wedding day because my parents had not come. Me pleading you out of the cubicle at the registry office, assuring you that it wasn't because of you, but because of me and what I had chosen to do with my life, instead of following in my fathers footsteps. But they eventually came around, and embrace you like their own daughter. You were five months pregnant then._

_The day I first saw our son. He was as red as a beetroot and had a set of lungs on him that put the Russian circus to shame, but he had your kind beautiful eyes._

_The day we saw our first 'house' that my lousy wage brought us, because I insisted on you not living on base. Fox was near turning five and Sam was only a few months old; the building was falling apart but you made it a home. The three of you followed me and never complained._

_Although out family was small, I never could believe how happy we were, and at the centre of it was you. And I, well I was the one that ruined our family. I was young, brash, hungry to succeed, above all foolish, but we all had to pay the price. Only when I realised how high the stakes were, was it too late._

_I kept you all in the dark as a means to protect you but I feel it has done more harm. So before I leave, I want to offer you some clarity ..._

Teena folded Bill's letter, into the safety of her coat pocket. Bill, her other half, best friend, father of her children, and for a long time, centre of her universe. It didn't need to be read again. She felt tears searing her eyes. She eventually allowed them to fall. She didn't know where they were coming from, she hadn't allowed a tear to fall in nineteen years. Maybe it was being back at this place... She heard footsteps and turned. The last man she ever wanted to see standing in front of her.

She scowled at him and turned, retreating towards the safety of her car.

"Elizabeth" he snapped, pronouncing it 'E-lies-bet'

"What do you want?!" she snapped back. "Over thirty years and still, what is it that you want?" A hint of exasperation in her demand.

He paused to light one of those God founded cigarettes. She turned up her nose and made an attempt at leaving again.

"Rumour has it, you're looking for your daughter" His crisp tone cut through the chilly Fall weather. "I came to see if I could be of any help", he blew out a large puff of smoke.

"You stay away from me and my children" she warned.

"But their my children too".

The smile that formed on his face made her skin crawl.

"At least one of them is, am I right? And the other would have been if you hadn't ran off like some little slut" he pulled in a long drag.

She didn't have to listen his lies.

"Your daughter is dead Elizabeth, be satisfied you still have our son"

She turned back on him with thunder in her eyes, her hand gestures cutting strong in the wind. "He is not your son! He is Bill's son!"

He laughed. "Bill who so easily gave up his 'son' to protect his wife and his daughter. His own flesh. I am the reason you still have your son and I am the reason you will carry on having him in your life" he spat.

"I don't have to listen to your lies, when I know the truth. And I most certainly do not want your help!" she shouted, and suddenly she felt faint. She turned, taking in deep breaths. She needed to lie down but she could feel him hot on her toes. She felt woozy, darkness clouded over her.

**PART II  
September 1996, MA  
21:25**

Scully caught Mulder just as he was about to walk into the room. She gave him an apologetic look, she was late but she almost hadn't made it. She'd had to fight Samy to be here.

_"For the love of god Dana, you've been home half an hour and your already out the door"_

_"Your dinners on the table"_

_"I'd like not to eat alone"_

_"His mothers in hospital Samy and I'm his partner"_

_"And your my fiancée"_

Mulder smiled at his partner's tired face. The woman who a week ago had cradled him like a baby while he sobbed over his mother's then lifeless form in her hospital room. And she had not rested since. "Your here now. You know you didn't have to come"

"I know but I wanted to" she said returning his smile which they held for a few moments before he opened the door into his mother's hospital room. She was delighted to see him, happier to see them both together; although it didn't bring the baby back, it bought something.

"Fox, did you find whatever it was that your father left you"

Mulder realised she was talking about the gimlet and glanced at Scully before nodding.

"He wrote that it was important you got it. Something you could trade?"

"His grandfather's watch" Mulder lied.

A smile graced Teena's face as she chuckled. Scully recognised the smile as Mulder's and found herself smiling too. "Trust your father to hide it in a lamp" She suddenly went serious and reached her arms out for Mulder, grasping his hands in hers. Mulder crouched so that he matched her stare. "Your father was a good man who loved you and not anything that he has done will change that..."

Scully made to slip through the door and allow them their privacy.

"No dear you don't have to leave". Satisfied Scully was staying, Teena returned her attention back to Mulder and moved a hand to stroke his face. "When I placed you in your father's arms for the first time, he had tears in his eyes". Mulder felt tears form but fought them.

"Why were you there?" his voice broken.

"I..." she searched her brain for an excuse and resolved on the truth. "I went to find your sister". Both partners simultaneously took an intake of breath.

"...mom..."

She soothed his face. "She is not yours to find Fox"

"And what did you find?"

She carried on soothing his face. "I don't want you to beat yourself up like your father did because there is no fault and it took, it took so much out of him" she was blubbering now. Mulder had to leave, leaving Scully in the room with his mother. Once again he had found his sister and lost her again. And although he knew they really weren't his sister, they bought something, something to his life and he knew they would've to his mothers.

Scully looked helplessly over the room until her eyes met with Teena's, who she could see were harbouring years of pain. "Mrs Mulder..."

"He was only human. Do you hear that dear, their only human. They make mistakes. And..." she repeated the words left by her husband. Reiterated by CSM earlier, when she had revived to find him and another man watching over her. "...sometimes for one to live the other must die". From the look on Scully's face, she knew she didn't understand what she meant. Teena let out a tight melancholy laugh. "I hope you never learn the meaning of those words".


	33. Finding Home

**Chapter 33: Finding Home**

Spoilers: Home - the agents investigate a death of an infant with genetic birth defects.

**PART I: Sim Residence, Early October 1996, Two years and one month.**

They were both shaking. The mother from the intense cold, and the child from the convecting burning sensation pulsating through their bodies. Mrs Sim raised her hand to her daughter's forehead, her palm winced at its scorching touch. She needn't have checked, the cradled child was sweating profusely, the ice bath would not stop the hot beads of moisture from spilling. Mrs Sim let out a sympathetic moan and slicked back Emily's already drenched strands of hair from the child's round face and saw how much it had changed in a year. The miniature, dark-brown-curly-haired tot with slight bones, had transformed into a stocky, well-muscled toddler, with straight peach hair. Her eyes were all that had not changed. Mrs Sim smiled down at the teary ocean-blue eyes staring up at hers. Her husband was right, they were a reflection of her own, and she paraded Emily's forehead with kisses for it.

Mommy felt like the freezer box. Emily did not know how long they had been in the bath, but she knew it was a long time. Her skin felt weird, and so did her mother's against hers. Mommy's usual sun-kissed complexion was now the colour of the clouds; and her lips, the colour of the sky in the day time; and the cold shivers that passed through Mommy's body, ricocheted through to hers. She wondered when daddy would be back, she had come not to like being left alone with her mommy.

"Mommy, Mimi hurt" she croaked her earlier words, again.

She felt her mother paraded her face with kisses. Again. But it wasn't making the pain go away. Her eyes refilled with tears, she needed her daddy.

"I know baby but no more tests" Mrs Sim whispered between kisses.

"No tests" Emily replied dutifully, her silent moistures of pain continued its spill.

"That's right" Mrs Sim looked lovingly down at her daughter and kissed her button nose. Then with an effort to fight the numbness, raised her left foot out of the bath water to turn the cold tap back on, before sinking them both lower into the cold like daggers, but necessary to get Emily's 108 temperature down.

...

They both jumped over the bang on the bathroom door. Mrs Sim kissed Emily's frightful eyes. "It's ok baby" she whispered.

"Gabbie?... Gabbie? I know you're in their. Why are you having a bath in the middle of the day? ...Is Emily in there with you?" He tried the lock, it was bolted.

"Gabbie. Is Emily in there with you?!" he tried the door again. "You promised you would take her to the hospital, - they called me in the middle of the meeting, - Gabrielle!"

Mrs Sim played her fingers through the water. "Yes" she croaked and inched her and Emily to turn off the running cold tap.

"Why is the door locked?" He demanded.

"Just a moment. I'll open it". But she couldn't move. The coldness had seized her muscles, not allowing her to move from the waist down; her knees refusing to bend in the slightest.

After several seconds of no movement, Mr Sim started slamming his weight against the bathroom door in an effort to open it. THUD! THUD! THUD! Emily clung tighter to her mother in fear.

"Bobby, stop it!" She attempted a scream but it didn't progress further than her croak. "You are scaring Emily, she doesn't understand".

He broke the door down on his thirteenth attempt; appearance and breathing ragged. He sucked it all in however at the sight of his naked and pruned wife and daughter, whose entire body was a beetroot red; shaking was an understatement. He zoned in on his daughter, who anyone could see was in obvious distress.

"...Fuck sake Gabbie... fuck!" Mrs Sim winced at his aggression and lay motionless as he ripped their child out of her arms and hurriedly wrapped her in an oversized bath towel.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She heard him curse her down the stairway and out the front door.

**PART II: The Basement, Early October 1996, Day 1:**

Scully could hear their excited chatter down the corridor from her side office. Confused, she checked her wrist watch, _07:45, Thursday_. She raised her eyebrows, no she was right to be confused. Pinning her nephew Josiah's artwork from the weekend on her cork board, she got up to meet them at the door; leant against the frame, arms crossed and ready to quiz.

"...yesterday, yesterday at school" she could hear Sammie's voice chirp. "Yesterday during story time we always have to go in pairs, and I always read with Amelia because she is my bestest friend-"

"Just best" he corrected.

"- and because we both like to read books about cute fluffy animal - Will you by me a rabbit because Annabella in my class got a rabbit and it wasn't even her birthday or anything!". Scully heard Mulder's blunt no and laughed.

Sammie let out a long whine before continuing her story. "...anyway yesterday, yes-"

"Yes, yesterday during story time" Mulder urged her on impatiently.

"Yesterday Amelia told Mrs Grange in front of the whole class that she couldn't be my library partner because I had cooties because I kissed Freddie Dix and that ..."

"Mulder?" Addressed an amused Scully when they finally reached the door. Sammie, undeterred by the interruption continued her story in the background."Do I have to call the truancy officer over your little stow away?"

Mulder uncharacteristically rolled his eyes, fitted his hand into 'his' groove in Scully's lower back and led her towards his desk, away from Sammie's irritating chirp. "I should know asking a girl about her day is asking for trouble. Before I dropped Sammie off at school I wanted to..."

"NO wait!" Sammie interrupted barging through Mulder's hold on Scully.

"Sammie!" he scolded, and both partners watched the little girl rush to place the wastepaper basket at the door's entrance.

"I can't chance being late, I promised Freddie I'd give him a kiss before school" her gappy teeth smiled eagerly.

Mulder bowed his head. "Should I be worried?"

"She's eight years old Mulder"

Being the centre of the conversation again, Sammie picked up her account again. "A new case, out of town" Mulder spoke over. "I just cleared it with the man upstairs and I'd like to leave ASAP"

"...and Amelia's such a bitch".

Sammie's statement stopped both partners in their tracks. They exchanged looks. "Sammie what was that word you just said?"

Sammie went red with embarrassment. "New York Knicks, and whether you think they would win the game on Sunday?" She answered Mulder hopefully.

"Samantha"

Her gaze fell to her black laced school shoes, her black pigtails tied with red bobbles that matched her school uniform, hung suspended in air. "A bad word" she mumbled and then added, "but Chelsea in my class says it just means female dog"

"I should not be hearing language like that coming out of your mouth, especially when in reference to your best friend who your spent all of last weekend with. And especially in front of Agent Scully, who you just barged into without even saying a 'hello' or 'sorry'. You are too old for behaviour like that"

"I was talking to you first" she said very matter-of-factly.

"I'm waiting"

"Sorry" she mumbled' "even though Amelia has said that about me once" she scuffed her left shoe with her right.

"That's not an excuse"

"I know" she drawled before lifting her gaze to Scully. "Sorry Agent Scully... and I'm sorry about Queequeg, and I'm sorry about the bad word I said".

Scully faulted, she didn't want to say 'that's ok' and contradict Mulder, so asked how she was instead.

"Ok" still mumbling. "Did Queequeg really get eaten by a Crocodile?" Her interest peeked.

"Yep"

"That's unfortunate"

"And Sammie, it was an alligator not a crocodile, alligators live in- ... not-" he stopped after seeing the incredulous look Scully was giving him. "Sorry" he addressed the fiery red head, "...but it was. Fresh water not salt water, different snout sha-", his eyes flickered between the two females before he decided it was wise to stop. The three of them stood in silence with only the hum of the air con as noise.

Mulder glanced at his wrist watch, "Sammie I need to be getting you to school" quickly leading her through the door, away from Scully's incriminating stare. Technically it wasn't his fault what happened to Queequeg but he was sure she blamed him, especially because he knew that she knew that he was not particularly fond of the fuzz ball. "Scully I'll pick you up at yours in an hour or so" he called over his shoulder. "-Or whenever your ready...just give me a call when your ready" he added hesitantly, making eye contact with her and giving her a weak smile. How was it that she could sometimes make him feel like the eight year old?

**PART III: Crime Scene, Home. 11:20, Day 1**:

The drive to Home had been in relative harmony, save a few quibbles over how their current case rated an X-File. Mulder apologised for his earlier insensitivity and like always, Scully forgave. Although she was now beginning to get really 'irked' over the blatant disregard he was showing her over the circular raw animal hide. She stopped to watch him throw a few imaginary practice balls. _Maybe compared to flukemans, infanticide just doesn't grip his attention_. _But it was Him who had dragged me here_. "...Meanwhile, I'm having Bill Cosbies baby". She smiled, that got his attention. But then he started talking about his childhood with Samantha, and her heart instantly sank, as it always did when he brought up his sister.

"You without a cell phone?" She asked in disbelief over his fantasy of 'finding home in the simple life'. "Please Mulder, give me some credit. I know you, and you wouldn't last a day without technology".

Mulder merely shrugged at her comment and continued his ball practice. If only she'd allow herself to remember, she would know there was truth in his words. He would have made that sacrifice for the baby and her, had in fact told her his intentions to. It was she who he was not sure could make that sacrifice; who wouldn't, he recalled.

"You think you know me Scully but you don't".

**PART IV: Outside Home Police Station. 13:30, Day 1:**

The glorious sunshine and heat that greeted them the moment they stepped out the police station, was a great juxtapose to what they had just left inside. Mulder squinted in the sunlight, wishing he had brought his sunglasses. It wasn't human, Mulder had decided that the instant he had laid eyes on it, he didn't care what Scully's logic said. But it had been life, a life that needed to be defended from its unjust end.

Stepping out the station doors, yes Scully had appreciated the sun and the heat, but not the bombardment of babies! She scanned the courtyard, _seriously?_ She observed. _Not one of these women is not attached to a man and baby_. Her subconscious started to creep that shouldn't that be her too? But she shook it away. She was 28, almost 29; but still, she had plenty of time; her biological clock didn't even need to be wound.

"Imagine all a mother's hopes and desires for her child, only for life to dash them so cruelly" she thought aloud. From the expression on Mulder's face, she knew he hadn't expected that comment to come out of her mouth. She couldn't say herself where it had come from. She shrugged over her comment and his expression and let him guide them to sit at a nearby park bench. Her gaze focused on a young family in his far background. The father was teaching the son how to ride a tricycle, the young mother watched on anxiously. The son had inherited his father's blonde hair. Scully wondered whether he had also inherited his fathers eye colour? Nose? Or whether those particular features belonged to his mother.

"You know Scully, what happened to that child is a shame. Young teenagers maybe, scared... Although I don't know how much care went through them for to just dump it in the dirt".

His words tore her gaze and she regard him. His shirt sleeves rolled to his elbows, exposing his dark tanned muscly forearms. His squinting eyes were a shade of blue in his still sun-kissed face, and the rays highlighted golden hues in his hair. But he was right, not much care must have been running through the mother's mind. She picked non-existent fluff from the trousers of her midnight blue pant suit. "I guess I was just projecting myself on the situation" she offered meekly.

Mulder straightened, shifting his entire body to focus on Scully. The comment she made earlier was odd, two however definitely warranted questions. His movement caused her to lock eyes on him, the sun directly behind him, making her squint slightly. He took in her ever increasing slight appearance, the last time he had seen her so thin was after she lost the baby, but of course she would not know that. Her face coloured and freckled, still showed traces of her holiday abroad with Samy. Framed by her gingerish-blonde crop. She was not wearing her engagement ring._ But that doesnt mean anything_.

Scully bit her bottom lip, in her attempt to feign off something troubling. Mulder hadn't expected her to be so affected by this case, yet he saw genuine pain and discomfort in her ocean blue stare. "Is there any genetic side affects in your family?" He had to stop a laugh from escaping, surely this was a conversation they should have had three years ago.

Eyes still fixed on his, she shook her head, no.

"Well just find a man with a spotless genetic make-up and who doesn't mind being second guessed, and start pumping out the Über Scully's" he gave her a comforting shake of her shoulders and let the hand fall and cup the back of her neck. She smiled at the dirt in embarrassment; no one put up with her second guessing better than him.

"What about you?" Her mouth getting the better of itself, again. She raised her eyes back to his before moving them to study his lips. Was she so eager for his reply?

_What_? "Me?"

She nodded but didn't dare shift her gaze from his bottom lip.

"Well apart from our tendency to be abducted by extra terrestrials -" She laughed. "-involved in an international government conspiracy; the Mulder family passes genetic muster".

Still grinning, Scully decided that the conversation had strayed enough. "What if the peacock family practiced inbreeding..."

**PART V: Home Motel, 20:35, Day 1**

A few crusts were all that remained of the sixteen inch 'Vegetarian' - minus green peppers. They had attempted to eat out, but with a small-town population like Home, they had been rainbow fish in the goldfish bowl. After ten minutes of being the main attraction at Home's only sea food restaurant, they decided to escape the stares, making a pit stop at Home's one and only take away/ gas station. Abandoning his root beer, Mulder delved into the paper bag for a beer.

"No Mulder, the beer is for after we solve the case, not before. Where is the reward in that?" He deadpanned, returning the bottle; while Scully cleared away the table and laid out the case notes.

...

"How many would you have?" Mulder asked looking up from his paper work, half an hour later.

"How many would I have what?" Scully asked frustrated, peeling her attention away from her notes, they weren't giving her anymore than they already had.

"How many kids would you have?" He asked while flicking through his papers, to feign his interest away from the question.

Scully massaged her eye lids, her contacts were screaming to be taken out. "I don't know Mulder" dismissing his question. These fifteen/sixteen plus hour days were taking its toll. She pouted remembering how during med school, she could survive a whole week on only fifteen hours sleep. But med school was over four years ago she reminded herself and slouched in her seat, pining over her lost years. Out the corner of her eye, she caught Mulder laughing at her. "Leave me alone Mulder" she whined. "I'm tired and I'm cranky"

"Hmmmm that time of the month" he joked, clearing away the case files, the Knicks game had started fifteen minutes ago.

"Mulder!" She reprimanded.

"What a partner needs to know these things. Lets me know how far i can push you". Scully pursed her lips. "Ok the silent treatment. I'll just check the calender in the office when we get back". He smirked at her shocked expression, and settled his briefcase by the door. "What, you don't believe me? Red dots mark the spots".

"You know Mulder, I don't need a child. I already have one" she stated, her posture still slouched.

"You do" he strained, the TV antenna loosened in his grip. Who was he to know what she was and was not remembering.

"Yep. He's -" Mulder let out the breath he was all too aware of holding. "-got dark brown hair, a questionable eye colour, and about 6 foot 4, maybe taller?"

"Haha very funny Scully. That must have really ripped you apart" resuming twiddling the bunny rabbit antenna, the reception was awful. Could he really forfeit his Knicks for the sticks?

"Hand me your cell, I want to know how the sheriff is getting along with those arrest warrents"

"Why? Your own cell is in your breast pocket. I can see it poking through"

"Yeah, but I am being difficult"

Mulder sighed, abandoning the antenna and reaching into his trouser pocket for his cell. He drew back before Scully got her grip in it. "Tell me something mom" he drew out the last word. "Will you teach me how to a shoot a snake with a BB gun?"

**PART VI: Home Motel, 23:25, Day 2**

A faint banging noise infiltrated her hazy dreamy/awakeness sleep. It was the door knob knocking against the baracaded motel chair. Scully sat up with a start when she eventually realised and reached for her gun on the bed stand. Gun uncocked, and now on full alert she could decipher a voice in the noise and realised she recognised it. Rolling her eyes and too tired to care that she was only wearing Samy's dress lenth Tokyo T, she removed the baracade and opened her motel door. "What. Is. It. Now. Mulder?"

She slept with bedside lamp on and it now illuminated her form, and to Mulder, made her look like some kind of Mythological goddess. She caught him smiling over her attire and made a promise to herself to invest in sensible nightclothes, even though she knew no one would bat an eyelid over Mulder's boxer-shorts choice of sleepwear. One of many reasons why it sometimes sucked being a female agent. "Was that for me?" He indicated to her gun.

"Forgive my jumpiness but after today, I think you will understand". A shiver ran through her remembering the Peacock sons' primal desire for death and blood. "What do you want?" Now the one baracading the door.

Mulder let out a sheepish smile and clutched his bedding close to his side. "Did I ever tell you about my fear of monsters hiding underneath my bed? Really my father used to have to do the bed check every night until I was eleven, which then I took over until I was like thirteen...maybe fifteen"

"Fine" she said, removing herself from the door frame lot let him in. Truth be told, she was not even feeling thirty percent sleeping alone in a motel room knowing a Peacock brother was out there, knowing that this was the only motel in Home. But they wouldn't be able to leave until the morning, when the sheriff from the next town arrived.

Scully flopped back under the bed covers while Mulder attempted to collect his large form on the small couch, but Scully didn't care. She let out a deep sigh and removed the gun from the bed covers, cocked it and placed it back on the bedside. She lay staring at it a while, listening to Mulder's attempts to get comfortable. "...Mulder" she said turning to face his general direction. "How did you know I shot a snake with a BB gun?" It bothered her that he knew so much about her, that he knew her and her life more than anyone else, and what was he - her work partner; she may have liked it if he was her lover or something or if it wasn't for the fact that really in comparison, she knew nothing about him.

Mulder played around on the couch a bit more before he answered. "Your mom"

"Oh. I remember being so traumatised".

"Yep" he continued this fidget. "And yet you cut open dead people as a job".

She rolled her eyes and listened to him fidget some more. _That is not all I do, that is all you have me do._

"Hey Scully, can I bunk with you?"

"No" she snickered. "I'm sure it would break some kind of FBI partner rule"

"Says the woman who basically asked me to father her children".

The hurled pillow landed on Mulder's left foot. "Nice shot" he said sarcastically.

"I did not" she started defensively. "I was merely passing interest and turned to face away from him, grinning as she listened to his inability to settle for the next ten minutes. "Do you want to swap?" She offered eventually "I'll take the couch".

"Now that I am finally comfortable" he mumbled, sleep making him weary.

She turned back to his direction, from the lamplight she could see that he had moved the table, pillows propped against it to make a sort of headboard. It didn't look comfortable. "Can I ask you a question"

"Quick"

"How come you haven't told Jennie what it is you really do. With the X-Files I mean"

He didn't reply for a long time and she thought he had fallen asleep. "I guess because it makes me feel kind of normal. When I am with them,the x-files and such complications disappear and I can be a normal man with a simple life. And I love them for it" he answered truthfully.

"Oh..." She answered. "...Well goodnight" turning away from him, and his answer, which didn't sit too well inher stomach.

**PART VII: Scully's apartment; 20:35; Day 3**

Scully threw the tea towel onto the kitchen counter and swept the hair out of her face. _Washing up, done! I'm just not cut out for this whole career woman by day, housewife type by night mallarky._ She eyed Trent's 'Form 3, Class Blue' disheveled tea towel, which had expertly landed so that her godson's oversized face, as he had drawn at least three times bigger than his other classmates, was smiling up at her; she had to give him credit, he had depicted his unruly curls to the art. She folded the cloth away neatly and let out a huge sigh before joining Samy on the couch.

...

Later that night, or it could have been morning; she had been laying awake for a while, Scully scooched her naked closer further into Samy's and gently shook him awake, placing chaste kisses against his broad back.

"Hmmm?" He mumbled.

"When I was eight years old, I shot a snake with a BB gun. It completely traumatised me...I just wanted you to know"

"That nice hunny" he mumbled in his sleep but turned to face her and placed a misguided kiss on the tip of her nose. "It's nice to have you back so early too".

"I know, a day and a half. It has to be an X-File record" she chuckled, making a mental note to share that joke with Mulder tomorrow or this morning at work.

"I have an important meeting tomorrow babe. So shhhh, sleepy time".

She giggled and relaxed into his curves. "I just wanted you to know".

**PART VIII: Sim Residence, 11:20, Early November 1996, Two years and one month**

Mrs Sim's fingers worked deftly over the computer keyboard. Her mother-in-law and father-in-law had taken Emily to the beach. One month had past since the 'incident', and the Sim family and Emily's doctor had decided to allow Mrs Sim the privledge to be left alone by herself, although only when housebound. Never when out, and especially never to be left alone with Emily. She guessed they would be another hour, but still, you never knew who was watching, Mrs Sim had learnt that lesson more than once growing up.

Emily, again was no longer Emily, but some kind of machine who had had the reset button pressed; she has spent three weeks convincing herself that she no longer cared, that as long as Emily was happy so was she. But the truth still was, everyone prodding and testing her daughter like she was some sort of experiment fucked her right off, as it would any other parent who fought so hard for their child not to have the same misdemeanors as them.

Sat in her husbands office, which technically she was allowed to be in; the search engine lit brilliantly in the computer screen. Her last five searches had come back unhelpful. Her fingers twitched slightly over what to type until she decided to bypass the clinical and just type what she saw.

'Help my child is no longer my child'

She clicked 'search' and was astounded by the results; snippets of parents' accounts, who had also experienced the same change she had seen in Emily. She let out a gasp of relief, she felt like crying out of joy and her hand shakily moved the mouse to click on a link. But she heard the front door open and her mother-in-law call her from the hall. Quickly she refreshed, cleared and closed down the Internet, and computer; straightened the seat cushion and all sign that she had been in there before meeting The Hawk on the upstairs landing. She smiled sweetly at her mother-in-law and offered to help her with lunch. She had been given hope.

_**31/12/12 Sorry for the delay, I have been busy studying, clubs ... Like, everyone else but I fail as a woman when it comes to multi tasking. So I'm sorry, updates will be slow and sorry for readers of my other stories because I have decided to finish this before finishing others. Although the end is very far insight, maybe another twenty chapters, which kind of makes me want to cry but I am determined to at least get this one out and finished. Hope you had a great Christmas and happy new years for the 1/1/13.**_


	34. Souls Mate Eternally

**Chapter 34: Souls Mate Eternal**

**Episode: The Field Where I died.**

**Spoilers: The Field where I died; This is not happening; Christmas Carol. References to the made up episodes Isaiah and Reincarnation. **

**PART I**

**Early November 1996**

**Apison, TN**

**Temple of the Seven Stars, Day 7**

I watch him from my spot on the fence, and cannot help the dread and worry I feel towards him and his health. The helplessness I feel towards myself, knowing that nothing I say or do can ever be enough to help him. He has not moved from his stance on the field for over forty five minutes now, and all the while I have been sat here waiting, waiting for him to snap out of it. These are the cases I hate the most, I would rather ten Flukeman cases because emotionally, they take too much from him.

My body lets out a delayed jump over the shrills of my cell phone ringing. I stare at the communication device in my hand, as I let it ring out. I can guess who it is, my spare hand instinctually moves to grasp the engagement ring affixed to the gold chain around my neck; then lightly fingers the gold cross. I am in no mood to talk to him, not anyone, except maybe Mulder. But I can guess more than likely, the journey back home will be in silence.

This case has taken a lot out of him, which inadvertently also means me. He has not slept properly all this past week, which like a stoke in to a fire, fuelled his short temper, snappiness and snide remarks, as well as other childish malqualities. Which not only meant sleepless nights for me, laying awake to till the early hours worrying over it; but the tiresome and wearisome duty of having to overtly indulge him as well as everyone else around us, because of his inexcusable behaviour. Also, despite my efforts, we haven't eaten very much the past week. All in all, a heavy week of what i call 'Mulder-Paranoia' and all its harsh side effects. I remember our conversation during a case months back, I joked to Mulder that he was my child, however with moments like these, the feelings of bonds I feel towards him, the joke is on me.

I let out a loud sigh that only I can hear as I rise from my fence post for him. Knowing that even after we leave this god-for-saken field, that I have come to loathe; the repercussions from this case will stay with him for a long time.

**PART II**

**Seven Sister Church, Apison, TN**

**Day 1**

I really don't want to be here, working this case. But I can't complain because for once, it is my doing that we are here, not Mulder. Me and my stupid hair brained mistake I made during a case last year, 'State vs a reincarnated mass murderer', has come back to bite me in the ass. As if the humiliation I suffered the first time round wasn't enough. Although Mulder hasn't made so much as a reference to it, and I love him for that. I frown at my thought. Yes, love. I can't wait to nip this case in the bud.

"Scully?"

I raise my head in the direction of that all too familiar voice. Despite the darkness, I make out his sympathetic look. Amis my thoughts, my pace has slowed and I am now a good few metres behind everyone else. Shaking away my thoughts, I bulge my eyes at him to let him know I am fine, and move to stalk past him, when I realise he was just the messenger. BATF Agent Dobson, overtly suited and armed like he is on a terrorist mission, is glaring at me. This is the another reason for my dislike over this case, having to work with other agents, who I know whisper snide comments behind Mulder's and I's back.

"It's not been half a day since we finished our last case. I guess we're kind of tired" Mulder explains to Agent Dobson, making me look like the weak woman he thinks I am. I shoot Mulder a deathly stare.

"You don't have to make excuses for me Mulder, I'm not your little pet" I snap after Dobson moves on, trudging past him to the front. Although he is right, I am exhausted.

...

Of course when we arrive nothing is here, no harbouring of illegal weapons and no supposedly abused children in sight. With all the excessive man-power and ammo we have in this small building, its quite laughable. Whats even more laughable that it hurts, is that I could be in my apartment, surrounded by lavender scented bath bubbles and candles. But I refrain my true emotions.

I talk to one of the BATF agents, there is mention of a second location, when out the corner of my eye I see Mulder start to waver like he does when he is on to something out-of-the-box. I watch him then head outside, in the opposite direction of the new destination. More than a few eyes follow him out of the door and sight, and then they of course fall on me; as if I can magically explain his logic, awkwardness, or confirm some kind of mental illness they all think Mulder has.

I ignore their stares as best I can and follow in his wake. I have learnt not to question Mulder's actions too much, not only because they result in me having a headache, but they usually lead to some kind of lead on the case. So I close my mouth and follow his instructions, then allow myself the guilty pleasure to smirk at Agent Dobson when Mulder's wanderings leads us to our suspect, Ephesian.

**Part III**

**Motel; Apison, TN**

**Day 5**

"I just don't think that's a good idea" I frown, biting the words out. Although from the expression he wears on his face, I know; his decision is final. I let out a a deep sigh, and go to protest more, but then decide not to waste my breath. But that doesn't mean I am not fuming; only Mulder could turn this case upside, reverse the progress and praise we have gained from this case. Now as the forefront of this investigation, because of our/my previous experience from a similar case, I am going to do my damnedest to make sure that Ephesian has what's coming to him, that he doesn't slip through my fingers like David did. I feel like I owe to the women, the women from CRJ who I abandoned, and the women from Seven Stars who I will hopefully save.

"...I have to know, wouldn't you in my position?" he asks. And i take an involuntary gasp and step back, he knows I would, its a question I do not have to answer because I already have made that decision, yes. I do not know why I am surprised, I knew it was only a matter of time before he mentioned David, CRJ Church and how I was brainwashed into becoming the umpteenth wife and baby-mummy of the church priest, but I had hoped maybe he would not. I stalk out the room, slamming the door behind me, knowing that he would not give me the courtesy of a second look or a second thought over what I or he has said.

...

I hear a knock on my hotel room door and decide to ignore it. I check my travel clock, the illuminated dials tell me it is only 20:40. I have no energy to talk to him, why should I listen to him when he does not reciprocate. '_Because it's your job_', my sub-conscience annoyingly reminds me. And I will myself out of bed, and leaving the chain still bolted, open the hotel room door.

"Mulder. This better be important and case related". I can tell that he is shocked by my terse reaction because he falters and his smile sags slightly.

"I just wondered if you wanted to get something to eat"

"I've eaten" I lie. I devoured two bars of chocolate an hour ago because I didn't want to eat out alone and although this is a state job, the FBI won't cover room service. I did not know where the other multitude of agents on this case had dinner, but let's face it, Mulder is a loner, which automatically makes me a loner, no one would ask me.

"Oh well, I've organised Melissa's regression hypnosis for 09:30. So I'll meet you outside you in the foyet at 08:45?"

'_Like I have a choice_'. "I'll be ready". He hesitates before saying goodbye, and I lock the door even before he has fully turned around, then go to crash on my bed. If I know him, he'll skip dinner, he rarely eats or sleeps when he thinks he is on to something in a case such as this one. I feel like I should feel bad, but I don't. I'm too exhausted, and I am not his keeper.

I hear my cell buzz and decide not to pick it up over the chance that it is Mulder, or worse Samy. Both take up all my time, both with such high expectations of me, both emotionally draining. I let out a scream and furiously kick my legs, arms, my whole body basically goes into a fit, when my phone goes off again. I need to get out, away from them both.

It's cold outside but I pull on the midnight-blue pants from one of the many suits Samy had handmade for me in Dubai over my light-pink night camisole. Slip my push-up bra on underneath it, run a hand through my hair, shoes, a few sprays of perfume. Pick up my set of the rental keys and head out into the cool night, in search of a bar and entertainment.

**Part IV**

I watch closely in the background, even though i told myself I would not, but what can I do, its my job. A job that I royally suck at because not only did I give into Mulder putting Melissa under regression hypnosis, but now to Mulder himself, over his false pretence that he and Melissa were some how connected in a previous life.

I do not really listen until Mulder mentions Samantha.

"Samantha? I thought Samantha was your sister?" The lady conducting the regression rightly asks, although I don't know how she knows this, she must have his report or something.

I am momentarily paralysed and my eyes fill up with tears over Mulder's ... delusion? Conviction? That he was a Jewish woman in Poland with a son. I would be laughing if it was not for the genuine pain etched across his face, across his entire body, so much so that all I want to do is to enclose him in a hug.

"...my father is dead on the street" he continues. "He is Scully". And I stop, everything it seems, and listen. "...They are waiting for us" Mulder continues, "soles come back... different... but always together... Because with love, soles mate eternal" and my water works start again because they are the most beautiful words I think I have ever heard strung together. And I feel a stab of guilt over what I said about him last night, with no one to defend him, to a stranger who did not and would not know this troubled but beautiful man.

...

It is not until later when I am in Apison County Library, reviewing their records of the Civil War for the two names Mulder mentioned during his session; whilst silently reviewing Mulder's regression hypnosis in my head. That I A, become disturbed by the fact that I was always dead in his flash backs. And B, slightly jealous that this woman that he has just met, Melissa, was always his lover or wife, the forefront love, or sole, or whatever, that is destined to return to him. An C, what this will mean after the case is over?

In the interrogation room, I show him the photographs I found. I know that I shouldn't be indulging him, and that there are more pressing matters. Like our assigned job of convicting Ephesian. And I feel my second pang of guilt for the day when I remember how those women are depending on me. I remind Mulder of this.

"Scully." I pause my ramblings because his tone of voice stresses he has something important to stay. "If it were true" he starts nervously. "Souls destined to be together, and we knew. Would have we looked at each other different?"

_'No_', I instinctually think but it takes me a while to respond, because I want to fully understand what he is asking, to understand the meaning of my reply.

Of everything, there is my abduction that Mulder blames himself for, not to mention Missy. And then there is our romantic past to consider and although I don't remember it, it is still very real to his memory. The fact that we are total opposites; that at sometimes being amicable in the others presence can be, shall we say very strained. After four years almost constantly in each others presence, the rotary feeling of one just wanting a break from the others face...

I search his chocolate brown eyes, which are anxiously waiting my reply. I offer him a smile, "I wouldn't change a day" I answer truthfully. And I am rewarded by his first smile since we started this case. "...except maybe the Flukeman case. I could have lived without that".

I'm not remembering, and he knows it, as he was there with me on that rainy April day last year, when there was nothing else to except reacquaint me with some of our past cases I had forgotten. And I was so disturbed by that case, and the image of the Flukeman, that for about a month, for no one else's amusement but his, Mulder stuck up its images around the office, planted it in my coat pocket, briefcase...

I exit the room to fetch Melissa, and I catch a glimpse of Mulder's expression towards me and I see a mixture of amazement and love. I guess because in spite of the regrets I could have mentioned, I chose to regret none. Because when all is said and done, that is the truth.

**PART V**

We are both sat in Mulder's hotel room, our celebratory beers that we traditionally drink when we finish a case are left unopened. I feel as though I have failed all those women we found dead, and the truth is we did, we were too late. We, and it was we because I encouraged him, we got to carried away in his private escapade, and we can't keep doing that; civilians who trust us, their lives depend on us. The X-Files are not at Mulder's disposal to see how much he can push his theories of the unknown ... God I wish I one day had the strength to tell him that, but would he listen? Probably not.

And God only knows what Mulder feels at this moment. I shoot him a look for where I am slouched on the couch. His back is facing me, he has the window open and his front is leant against its sill. He has lost Melissa, his _'soul mate_' my sub-conscience snickers, and I chide myself, it's wrong for me to be snide over his beliefs, especially as she is dead. I go to join him, perching next to him on the window sill and look out to the night sky, to the unknown.

"Don't see stars like this back in DC" I offer as an icebreaker.

Mulder merely hums in answer. "Do you know what I want to believe?"

I smile and let out a small laugh. '_What don't you want to believe_?' He catches my laugh and returns it, and by the smile playing on his mouth, my thought to.

"What do you believe?" I humour him good naturedly.

He removes his gaze from mine, back to the night sky. "Starlight." I follow his gaze to the brightly lit sky. "It's billions of years old. Stars that are now long dead, whose light is still travelling through time, it won't die that light. And that is where souls reside".

"I don't think I understand what you mean" I turn to study him fully.

"No soul truly dies, they carry on living, with each new birth there is an old soul. That is what starlight shows us"

I think of Melissa, I think of my father. I think of Mulder's sister and father, before returning my gaze to the night. "I hope your right" i say, and its almost a whisper. We stay like this, side by side in silence for a while before I remember an earlier thought.

"Mulder" I pause, trying to collect what it is I want to stay. He turns his focus on me. "Had Melissa not died..." His eyes fall and sorrow washes back over his face. I wait for him to make eye contact with me again. "Had she not died. What... Well what would have you done? With Jennie and Sammie..." I stop as he turns his attention back to the night show, he does not answer my question.

**PART VI**

**Scully's Apartment**

**16:25, Day 7**

I am thankful about the hour that I get in, as Samy won't be home for a couple of hours. So I have time to myself, to think about all the things rushing through my mind, craving attention and resolution. Namely mine and Samy's future. My house phone rings and I role my eyes, cursing inwardly, I have been home two minutes and already someone wants to take my attention. I consider ignoring it but then think it might be my mother, and it would be really good to hear her voice. Someone who loves me unconditionally for just being me and doesn't expect anymore. I am dissapointed when I pick up the receiver. I don't catch the first sentence but I do not recognise it as my mother's voice.

"Hello?"

"Dana? Dana Scully"

I don't recognise the voice, female, around my age maybe. "Who is this?"

"Is this Dana Scully?!" she persists and I don't like her demanding tone. I won't let up until she tells me who she is. So we are silent for a few moments, both not wanting to tell the other who we were. Slight 'Mulder-Paranoia' on my part, but after four years on the X-Files, apartment break ins and hostage situations, sister killed outside apartment; no one can make me feel like I am overreacting.

I hear rustling on the other side of the line, names, '_Gary maybe_'. "I have to be quick. She needs you Em-"

"I'm sorry I think you have the wrong number -" but the line goes dead, and I don't know if it was because of something on her end or because of what I said. I put the receiver down and stare at it a while. I shake my head into gear, reminding myself that I only have a couple of hours before Samy gets back, and if it was that important, they can always call back.

_**So I am finally getting the ball rolling on this whole Emily thing. Now all I have to figure is how she found Scully, ideas? I want to thank all my readers, especially Ending Daley for keeping me going. As you know because you have just read this, this chapter was solely from Scullys POV, some may not agree her thought fits with the personality of the character, but I think this is how Scully would think if we could hear what she is thinking**. _


	35. Silent Wars

**Chapter 35: Silent Wars**

**Episode: Tunguska; Terma**

**Spoilers: Tunguska; Terma; Christmas Carol; Emily. And many more about the whole black cancer thing from episodes I can't remember the names of. **

**PART I**

**October 1996**

Anna Fugazzi. Emily's birth mother was called Anna Fugazzi. That was what the adoption agency had informed Mrs Sim last weekend when she called. Lily, the agency's young, newly recruited weekend receptionist managed the phone that late afternoon. Alone in the office, she was not completely up to scratch with their policies over confidentiality; and after hearing Mrs Sim's heart wrenching story about how her daughter's only hope for a viable kidney was getting in touch with the birth mother, she gave up the details instantly.

Lily had of course later gotten fired when she relayed the story to her boss; not only because she had gone against protocol, but there was an unknown 'red tape' on that particular child, added hoops, swings and roundabouts were supposed to be ridden out before any information was disclosed. They decided to sweep what happened under the carpet, and hoped that the dirt would not be found.

The following Thursday, while the grandparents proudly watched their two year old granddaughter tear lengths in the swimming pool, Mr Sim had constructed especially for his daughter. Mrs Sim quite unceremoniously announced that she was going to the gym and would be back in a couple of hours. The mother and father-in-law had exchanged looks, but did not attempt to follow their daughter-in-law; because, as long as Emily was not with her, there was no danger, right?

...

At the old people's home, when Mrs Sim has asked to see Anna Fugazzi. She was expecting a nurse or staff member; not the 96 year old woman they led her to. Mrs Sim had not been in the old lady's presence a minute, before she apologised for her mistake and bolted out. By the end of the car journey back to her driveway, Mrs Sim had convinced herself that someone was or had gone a long way to confine Emily's true identity. And all the Internet was giving her nothing but sappy parents who knew there was something wrong with their child, but did not have the Gauls to search further for the truth.

The car engine hummed in the air with her thoughts. She spied her mother-in-law spying at her through the peep in the front room's curtains. Mrs Sim waved a hand, to signal to Mrs Sim-elder that she had been caught. The curtains flittered shut, and Mrs Sim pulled the keys out of the ignition. Game on.

...

Two weeks had passed since Mrs Sim visited Anna Fugazzi, who she had found out, very last name meant fake. And although she had been itching not to, Mrs Sim had been silent. The reason being because when she had called the adoption agency on the Friday - the day after her visit to the retirement home, asking to speak to Lily, she had been informed of her dismissal. And although they would not say, Mrs Sim had an inkling as to why Lily had been fired, and an inkling was all she needed to be highly suspicious. If she was going to solve this, she was going to do it right, for the sake of her baby girl.

The two week silence had not been too bad, as it was Emily's 'cooling off period'. With only a couple of weeks before she needed to be re-dosed; Mrs Sim spent a glorious two weeks with her little girl, who had been almost normal again. They played, they baked, they drew, they swam naked in the swimming pool; they did all an everything they were denied the fourteen weeks Emily was incognito. The mother and daughter's favourite game, hide and let the in-laws seek.

However, Emily's temporary normalcy wouldn't distract Mrs Sim like it had before; with the time between shots lessening to every three months, and Emily's 'cooling off period' getting less frequent. The war was still on.

So it was as if the Gods were taking the situation into their own hands, when Mr Sim asked his wife if she wanted to accompany him to the hospital for Emily's routine injection. Which was where she sat now; Dr Calderon's office in the special needs ward at the hospital. Emily sat docile on her lap, all dosed up; and, her husband sat opulently in the leather chair beside her, schmoozing with the doctor as if they were old friends. Mr Sim was making his wife's skin crawl, and an involuntary shiver ran through her. Here they were in the hospital treating their daughter for a life threatening disease, and he was schmoozing with the doctor. She swore if he touched her, she couldn't be accountable for what her finger nails would do to his face.

"Mrs Sim?"

"Gabbie?" It was her husbands touch to her arm that woke her up from her hate trance, his touch sent icicles through her. Her flinch did not go unnoticed by Mr Sim, who drew back his hand instantly.

Mr Calderon laughed un-seemingly. "I was asking you if you wanted to meet some of the other parents in today, who have children that have the same strand of autism as Emily. Even though you and Bob here -" Mrs Sim raised her eyebrows over the informal reference to her husband "make it seem effortless. Its hard work raising an autistic child, especially with such a rare strand as Emily's. Sometimes its nice to talk to other parents".

Mrs Sim followed behind her husband and Dr Calderon, down the white clinical hallway. Emily, docile, walked quietly by her side, her daughter's little hand limp in hers.

"Ergh Bobbie" Mrs Sim interrupted the two mens' conversation. "I need to use the bathroom" she said, passing Emily's hand into his. Emily looked onwards into the blank corridor, unphased by the transfer.

...

Mrs Sim waited for them to turn the corner before she hurried back to Dr Calderon's office, closing the door behind her. She had spied the camera atop the office door when scanning the room earlier; and using her pocket Swiss Army knife, cut the wires behind it.

Her next destination was the large black filing cabinet. She tried the drawers, locked.

She rushed to his desk and risked a glance at the door, just to check she was still alone, she was. Hands shaking she tried the drawers, the top left one was locked. Mrs Sim quickly rummaged through the unlocked drawers, none of them holding the key.

She scanned his desk, and started to lift up the various ornaments and brick-a-brac. Her hands were really trembling now, and when she lifted up the stapler, it managed to fling itself across the room. Mrs Sim stopped dead, worrying someone may have heard, but nobody did.

Replacing the stapler, she continued her panicked search; knowing that it would not be long before they would start looking for her.

Minutes that felt like hours to Mrs Sim passed, but she found a key under the computer mouse that unlocked the top left drawer in the desk. Where under a hidden compartment, a key that unlocked the filing cabinet.

Mrs Sim jumped as all the filing drawers sprung open at once. Then took in a steady breath to compose herself and her thoughts; reasoning to herself that Emily's file would be under 'S'; so must likely, the second column of files, near the bottom. Her logic didn't fail her; and, she found spied a name and address just as she heard her husband's laughter down the corridor, approaching the office.

She was enroute from the desk to her bag, when the two men and the child entered the office.

Dr. Calderon let out a fake laugh. "See, I knew I kept the door open"

"Yes. I left my bag in here and I needed something from it...women stuff" she explained, bypassing Dr Calderon's incriminating glare to join her husband and child. "And I don't have any with me. So if its ok, to head back?" She asked her husband and gave him peck on the side of his lip. It was the closest contact they had had in over a month, and Mr Sim melted at her touch.

As Mr Sim belted Emily up at the back, Mrs Sim hurriedly wrote down the name and address she had found while it was fresh in her mind.

**PART II**

**New York, NY**

**December 1996**

**19:26, Day 17**

The two aged men walked silently side by side. Neither really wanted to face the man who they were sure, was the one who had called this last minute meeting. Comical, that it was this man's ruthlessness that chilled them to the bone. They reached the blacked out door, and the gentleman's on the left, well manicured hand reached for the door knob.

"I didn't know Peskow still involved himself in such matters" he said glumly, in his clipped English accent.

"Neither did I. Or do I know how he found out about this silent war" added the man on the right truthfully, and reached into his pocket to replace the Morley stick between his lips.

"Bill's son was in Tunguska" Peskow addressed CSM and the Well Manicured Man after pleasantries were over, in a thick heavy Russian accent. "I threatened his girlfriend in Alberta, where I guess he wasn't too far behind. I hear that the boy, is causing some trouble. Why isn't he taken care of once and for all?"

"I didn't realise you still concerned yourself with the matters of the Syndicate" The Well Manicured Man spat out, now convinced it was Peskow who had murdered his mistress.

"Well consider yourself informed of my concern"

"And you consider Mulder as having diplomatic immunity" CSM interjected through large smoke circles.

"He has to be stopped Charles" Peskow said gruffly. "My source tells me-"

"And who may I ask is your source?" CSM retorted.

Peskow smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Everyone here agrees" Peskow mentioned to the members positioned behind him.

"...Maybe an indirect warning, through his child?" A voice suggested.

"No! Not the child" CSM blurted out, taking himself as well as everyone else by surprise. "Not the child. Besides he thinks the child is dead, convincing him will take time. Not the child". He blew out a billow of smoke. "Its mother".

**PART III**

**Senate Executive Office Building**

**Early December 1996**

**Day 9**

At 09:55, Scully and Skinner were hovering outside Senator Sorenson's office, too jittery to sit down. Scully walked aimlessly reciting in her head, the speech she began preparing the moment Skinner had informed her of their summon.

At 10:00 sharply, Sorenson's secretary ushered them in. Scully led in front, unafraid. She sat with purpose, Skinner with unease.

Sorenson let a pregnant pause hang in the silent air, and shifted a few papers around in his hand. He raised his eyebrows up to the two sat in front of him; he a little tense, she wearing a stern gaze that bore holes. Sorenson smiled inwardly over her determination; never prod the lioness when her cub is amiss.

"Are you aware of the penalties for the obstruction of justice?" Sorenson enunciated each word for effect.

"Is that a rhetorical question, sir?" Scully fired back. Both men shifted in their seat, taken aback by her terseness.

Now ignoring Scully, Sorenson turned his attention to Skinner. "We are investigating the death of a man outside your apartment? It was from your window, wasn't it Mr Skinner?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Scully could see Skinner's armour begin to falter. "We fully intend to complete a report on the matter, sir, once we know what it is we are investigating" she saved.

Sorenson, realising that all questions would inevitably be answered by Scully, turned his attention back to her. To address the matter that was really at hand. "And Agent Mulder, Miss Scully" dropping her title deliberately for effect. "Can you inform me of his whereabouts?"

"In the field. Looking for the answers to your questions" she replied almost smugly.

"And where is he looking?" Sorenson bit out the words.

Scully's lips twitched.

**Part IV**

**Active shipyard**

**Flushing Queens, NY**

**Late November 1996**

**03:07, Day 1**

Scully looked wearily at Mulder scrutinising the surveillance equipment. It was not the hour, or the fact that she had gotten minimal sleep the past week with this case that caused her mood. It was Mulder's abrasiveness over the recent case developments, she was worried he was risking the wagon being jumped too soon.

They were heading another state job. State vs. Illegal weapons of mass destruction being traded in and out the country. It is cases like these, that Mulder excels at; piecing together clues that no one else would even comprehend existed. Scully liked these cases because they were completely clinical, no risk of attachment, Mulder-Paranoia, obsession or out-of-the-box theories. And the partners had quite uncharacteristically been praised by the peers and superiors over their leadership and management of the case; but now both armed and ammoed, with a SWAT team at their disposable; Scully was beginning to doubt the ease at which the case was unravelling.

"What makes you so sure that it is here, tonight?" She asked resting the gun that was almost as big as her tall as it was wide.

"I received two new receipts from my source. One for this storage space, and one for a two ton truck. This could be the next Oklahoma City" he re-clarified what Scully already knew. 'The Buzz', that was on the forefront of every law enforcement person lips they had been in contact with the past week. Because if they were successful, it would mean big things for the partners, but most importantly, the respect of their peers and superiors.

So Scully was having a case of pre-show jitters; but Mulder looked confident and excited so she tried to ride on that. And she couldn't be closer to the truth, Mulder was on a type of high that he hadn't experienced since before the X-Files; all the respect and admiration he had lost, had in this past week come back.

"So who do you think the source is? And why is he confiding in you?" Her questions fell out, she had tried to keep them at bay, but she was getting more and more anxious with every passing minute.

"Elvis is in the building" a SWAT team member stated before Mulder could reply, and all systems were go.

**PART V**

**The Basement Office**

**Early December 1996**

**16:44, Day 2**

Scully was still grumbling as she unlocked her car in her apartment's parking garage. It was brand new, a random over-the-top gift that Samy had brought home one day. However when Scully had mentioned returning the company car to Skinner- now that it had been replaced, she had found it odd that he didn't know what she was talking about. Charlie and his family were visiting again so it was the FBI's loss, and Charlie's gain; his son was two years old now.

Today, the car was having its maiden voyage to Mulder's apartment. Samy's parents were visiting and he had interrupted the Sunday lunch Scully had spent hours preparing. He had played dumb, but Scully distinctly remembered tell him the day before why she would not be free today. Still he had said it was important and blah blah blah was all Scully heard, before she told him to get lost. But of course Mulder would not give in, and after threatening to bring himself and Krycek to her apartment, she agreed to meet him at his, for no longer than fifteen minutes. Samy of course had not been pleased, and his parents even less so.

...

Scully knocked hard on Mulder's front door. His smile on opening the door to her, was ineffective against her stern and rigid exterior. She pinned Mulder to the wall as best she could, and warned him never to threaten her with bringing Krycek to her house, ever again.

"Sorry Scully" he apologised genuinely. "I guess I forgot myself" rearrenging his disheveled T, when she loosened her grip off him.

She marched in the room unabashed. Krycek who was handcuffed to a desk leg, smirked over their exchange from his seat on the floor.

"I guess the honeymoon period is over between the two of you".

Standing strong in the middle of Mulder's living room, Scully shot Krycek a deathly glare.

"Oh that's right. I heard about your memory loss. How you have forgotten that you used to be hopelessly in love with Spooky here, and the evidence of it was not so well hidden un-"

"That's enough!" Mulder lurched towards him shouting, and clenched the baseball bat in his hand as verification.

Krycek nodded but then smirked again. "Just saying, I feel sorry for you brother"

"Well don't" he bit, throwing the bat onto the sofa. Scully had gone bright red now, and the partners took time over averting the others' eye.

"Scully" Mulder said finally. "Krycek and I found out that the rock's origins is in Tunguska, I figured a visit might help us answer some the questions surrounding it"

"Tunguska?"

"Russia"

Scully snorted. "Mulder, I am not going to Russia. You are not going to Russia".

Mulder paused for a few moments. "Ok you don't go. It's probably better actually if you stay here, in case unwanted attention needs to be distracted...".

"Mulder, didn't you hear what I said. You. Are. Not. Going. To. Tunguska" she flung her arms as she enunciated each word. "When Krycek entered this case. We agreed that I would be in charge. I have said we're not going, we are not going"

"But Scully..." Mulder stood. They had both completely forgotten the third person in the room.

"But nothing" she stopped him, closing the gap between them. She rested firm hands on his biceps. "Mulder, this case is over. We found the weapons, we gained back our respect. Please can we just leave it at that"

"Because of Krycek. I hate to say it, but he has earned an amount of legitimacy to trust that there will be answers in Tunguska"

Scully's posture leaned back, arms folded. "So now you trust Krycek? You trust Krycek more than your trust me"

"Scully -"

"That is basically what you just said. You know -" she deflated and all of a sudden she didn't care and just wanted to get back to her apartment and Samy.

"What?" Mulder followed her towards the front door.

"This is not how a partnership is supposed to work Mulder. You expect me to trust you, and follow you to wherever, but you don't give me the same curtesy back".

"Scully please just hear me out" he stopped her hand from turning the door knob. "You find answers through science right? Well this is how I find mine".

"Mulder, science is the only way that we are going to find out what is in this rock. You, your way is just going to end up with you getting hurt...or worse". Her eyes met his and he could see the worry engrained in them. "I can't follow you like this anymore. I have Samy, who I should be with right now because I have spent all week with you. It's just not fair".

"Scully. I'm not asking you to follow me, just to trust me".

**PART VI**

**Tunguska **

**Early December 1996**

**Day 11, Day 8 of capture.**

Mulder lay immobilised on the concrete floor of his prison cell, in the same position he had been earlier dumped. He heard a noise, a voice; the prisoner from the cell next to him

"How long have I been out this time?"

"Ergh not so long. Five hours maybe"

Mulder moved to sit up. Shots of pain rushed in all directions across his stomach, and he winced, almost crying at the pain. One of his hand's moved to the cup the base of his neck, to where they inject him with some kind of liquid; dead skin had started to amount and formed a bump. Remembering the sensation of the liquid infiltrating his eyes and nose, he slapped his face in a fit, willing for it to go away. Mulder let out a loud groan that seemed to echo throughout the entire prison. He had to get out of here, back.

"Why are they doing this to us?"

"It is the Black Cancer, that they are experimenting with us" the prisoner explained in his broken English.

"Black Cancer?" Mulder inched himself closer to the thin light that exposed some of the prisoners features to him. "How do you know this?"

"I am a scientist, actually was well known. I helped find the rock that conceals the Black Cancer"

Mulder did a Scully eye roll. "When are you scientists going to learn to just leave things alone" he cursed.

"They are testing us for cure against it. You see the Black Cancer can give you qualities, super human qualities. But most likely, it immobilises you, you become a immune to the Black Cancer, you become immune to anything. But no one yet has become a immune, the people eventually die around their tenth or twelfth test. This disease is a weapon, constructed for a silent war, population checks - you know that sort of thing".

Mulder knocked his head against the dividing stone wall. "Is there any good news"

"Yes. They are not able to find a cure. Without a cure, they will not release it, as the disease spreads so fast and into anything"

"Its only time before one is found"

"There is also an urban legend, of a rebellion of faceless people, here in Tunguska, who fight to stop. But that is only legend".

Mulder calculated that he was maybe on his sixth test; he was quite sure that he would not be the one to break the mould and become immune to this disease. Which meant he had as long as another four or six tests to escape. He thought of Sammie. He thought of Jennie. He thought of Scully, and how she had pleaded him not to go. How she had predicted that this would most likely be the end result. He had to get back. His eyes drifted to sleep thinking of her, not knowing that she herself was sporting the same diggs as him.

Scully, sat alone in her court appointed prison cell, with everyone, except one, she knew and loved angry and against her decision; because, she was loyal to her partner and undeterred to reveal where he was. She silently prayed that he was safe, that it would all be worth it; that he would return soon and put her warring emotions over his safety to ease.

**PART VII**

**Coffee House**

**San Diego, CA**

Mrs Sim had waited for the new week to begin before she searched the name and address she had found in Dr Calderon's office. As her husband would be back at work and it would be much easier for her to slip out.

Sat in an Internet cafe she had typed the name and address into the search engine, it showed nothing new from the information she had already had. Apart from a telephone number which she scribbled down, before clicking on a link about a resident shooting at that very apartment. The image of the woman that came up on screen had the same colouring and hair colour as her daughter, but not the same eye colour. It wasnt who she was looking for though; right surname, wrong forename. She scribbled the name down nonetheless, at least she fit the right age bracket.

She then asked to use the cafe phone, and dialled the number, waiting impatiently for it to be picked up. Glancing at her wrist watch she wondered if anyone would be at home, or whether they would still be at work, if they worked. A females voice answered the phone.

"Is this Dana Scully"

"No sorry, nobody of that name lives here"

"Oh it's just that I have this name registered to this telephone number. And it is quite urgent"

"How old are your records? We moved in here almost two years ago. If its really important, I can give you the number of the landlord. Maybe he could help you?"

Mrs Sim gratefully accepted the number. And pretending that she was a friend of the woman who had been shot and killed, Melissa Scully, who turned out to be the sister of the woman she was looking for. The landlord eventually gave up her new details.

Mrs Sim let out a sigh of relief when she put the phone down, and couldn't help the smile that crossed her face over all that she achieved today. Her fingers delicately played across the pages of Emily's baby book, which had now become her notebook; admiring the pages and photographs of when they were all three happy, before this nightmare had begun.

**PART VIII**

**Scully's Apartment**

**December, 1996**

**10:40, Day 14**

Doing her best to avert fiancé's deathly stare; Scully repacked her overnight bag that Samy had brought to her whilst she was in prison. She could feel Samy's rage emulate across the room, it was burning her up with fear and guilt. Rage that she really couldn't blame him for. How far could she really push him before he snapped?

"Dana, just please explain to me why you are doing this? You have just come out of prison for this man and now you are following him to Florida, for what?"

"I told you Samy" Scully said timidly, "I am not liable to say where it is I am going"

Samy looked at Scully like she was an alien. "Has he given you one of his kidney's or something. Are you indebted to this crack pot in some way..."

"Samy, he is only in the living room. He can pro-"

"I don't give a fuck if he can hear. Everything with you is about Mulder, but as far as I am concerned he can go fuck himself, and stop trying to get his slimy hands on what is mine"

Scully had gone crimson with the thought that Mulder was most likely hearing this, and decided to bypass the rest of her stuff and to just get out. "Sa-"

"No Dana, my parents have been here for two weeks now. They came to see you, and you have seen them once and even then you went running off for over an hour and a half to be with him. But when his mother is in town and wants to see you, everything has to be dropped!"

"Sa-" she attempted again but she was interrupted by the house phone. "Hello" she answered to loudly.

"Is this Dana Scully?" Mrs Sim asked.

Recognising the odd voice again, Scully rolled her eyes. "Look now is not a good time, if you want to leave a message on my cell phone 465-5775, or you can call me at my office at the FBI on -" Scully removed the phone from her ear and frowned, the line had gone dead. Her eyes rose to meet Samy's, who she could see was beginning to calm down.

He caught her before she reached the bedroom door. His posture now defeated and sympathetic. "Look I'm sorry, I know it's your job, I trust you. And I am proud of you for standing up for what you believe in. Have you given any more thought to what I said, about maybe trying for a baby?"

Scully nodded. "I still need time to think" she said and dropping her bag, leaned in to give him a hard kiss on his lips. "See you when I get back"

"I'll be here. Waiting".

...

Belted in Scully's car, Mulder had offered to drive but he hadn't turned on the engine yet. Scully began to squirm, convinced without a doubt, Mulder had heard her's and Samy's argument. She risked a look at him and saw that he was loosing an internal battle.

"Scully, I am sorry for all the trouble I cause you"

"Mu-"

"No don't say it's fine. It isn't; and, I am sorry"

Scully nodded.

Mulder produced a folded up letter, with writing she recognised as her own. "I found this" he said scanning over her court speech. "It was...inspirational. Would you really have left?"

Scully snorted. "They would have loved that. No I needed to stay so that I could find you".

Mulder smiled sheepishly.

"And Mulder" she said caressing his face and lightly fingering his head wound that she had now bandaged. "When I tell you not to go to Tunguska. Do not go to Tunguska".

Mulder's smile widened; and they shared a moment of happiness/relief and dread, all rolled into one; before Mulder pulled away to start the engine.

**PART IX**

**Sim Residence**

**December 1996**

_'14 December 1996_

_Two years and three months. _

_My war is silent because I fight it alone. I cannot scream or shout because no one will hear only my voice. If they do, there will be no arms to carry me. _

_This evening will be my last attempt to contact Emily's birth mother. By accident or by purpose, she revealed that she worked for the FBI. I count my luck stars that I was using a pay phone to call her. She is one of them, she is an enemy to my daughter and I.'_


	36. Leonard Never Betts Again

**Chapter 36: Leonard Never Betts Again**

**Episodes: Leonard Betts, Never Again**

**Spoilers: Above**

**PART I**

**Motel**

**Pittsburgh, PA**

**Late January 1997**

**08:29, Day 2**

._..I'm restrained. _

_I can't move. _

_I have my eyes tightly closed but I know a blinding light surrounds me; because, its red glare penetrates through my closed eyelids. _

_I hear a deafening whizzing noise...almost like a drill...close to me - and my eyes fly open; frantically searching for the source. _

_I realise its coming from directly above me, a large drill, I go cross eyed. I start_ _hyperventilating, I realise exactly where it's destined. To-pierce-straight-through-my-glabella! And all I will be able to do is to go cross eyed and watch. _

_I pull and kick on my restraints, moving my head fervently, searching for anyone's help. One person's help, Mulder's. _

_I try to raise my head, but it would be in vain anyway, there is no way I can see past my swollen stomach. And I briefly go back to wonder, what had made it swell, and so fast. 'It was always swollen', a voice inside me chides, and I shake it away because I don't understand. The voice and its words are instantly forgotten. _

_Tears streak down my face. _

_I hear a door open, and I raise my head, hopefully. My tears halt, hopefully. But it is a short man, dressed in doctors scrubs, I make out his features as East Asian. He is not Mulder. _

_My eyes widen at the scalpel in his hand. _

_Then my head snaps back to the drill that is whizzing ever closer. _

_A voice. A touch, by my side. Penny. It's comfort, but it is not he who I am longing for. _

_Her name, but not her touch is instantly forgotten. _

_I snap my head back. _

_The scalpel's point draws nearer to my swollen stomach, and for some reason, all of a sudden, I am protective of it. So much so, that my whole body sweats so profusely, I feel my body, is not my body, but an ice cold lake. _

_I hear the females voice talking to me, willing me to do something. But I can't hear her, I can't see her; neither can I longer smell, touch or taste. _

_All I know is that man cannot hurt my swollen stomach. And I scream his name out loud, _"MULDER!"

_And then my world goes black._

_Time has passed, I feel strong arms pick me up. And I fight against them. I faintly observe that I am wrapped in something dank, with an unpleasant odour, as I thrash against the being capturing me. _"No keep away from me. Keep away from my bump. Mulder!"

"It's me. It's me. I'm right here" the voice assures me.

_And my body relaxes, my face relaxes, because I know that voice speaks true. My hands caresses his face, feeling out his familiar features. The dimple in his mandible. His distinct angular jaw. His distinguished proboscis... My whole being is smiling, and I open my eyes to see him._

I blink repeatedly until I get accustomed to the light. Or the lack of it. "Mulder?" I ask over his presence, so close to my face.

I register where I am; where he is, my motel room. The lack of what I am wearing, a sheet; what he is wearing, his suit. "Mulder!" I push him away from my wrapped naked form. He stumbles off the bed that we are both on.

"We agreed to meet at 8:15. It's not like you to be late so I was hovering around your door..." He explains quickly, "...and I heard you call my name is distress. So, so I broke the door open". He signals to the open door. "I can...sorry, I'll go close that" he says, rushing towards the door as curious on-lookers spy in.

And I realise how very mortifying this all is, and how I want nothing better than to dig a hole. Or go back in time to when I was eight years old; and all was sweet in the world because I was Frankie Nunez's best friend. Odd, but true to what I am feeling right now. "Mulder, if you wouldn't mind waiting outside for me" I manage, in a low husky, but totally unsexy voice.

My face falls into my hand when he shuts the door behind him. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuckity fuck" I start to curse myself. I stop instantly, drawing my limbs into my chest, remembering Mulder was outside my door, more than likely with his ear pressed to it.

"I'll be ten minutes" I shout, ridding myself of the sheet and running stark naked into the bathroom.

...

I am still cursing myself after three minutes in the shower. Ever since I agreed to do that bloody hypnosis that Missy talked me into - yes I am speaking ill of the dead, I have been having this recurring dream. Never to this extent, and never resulting in me screaming out Mulder's name. My body crashes with embarrassment and I think I actually become one with the sprays of water.

...

By the time I pull my stockings on, I am cursing myself less, save the odd 'fuck', every ten seconds or so.

"Fuck!" Ladder.

I opt for the pant suit instead. I wore it yesterday, but considering the day I've already had, it seems the best bet.

_You did not sleep well last night - or more acutately, this morning; _I comfort myself. I think it was four am, stripped naked, atop the bedding; when my erratic and severe flushes of hot and cold, finally granted me sleep. They had been becoming more common, and I wonder if it is early menopause, no.

My nose wrinkles at my discarded pyjamas. My smelly damp sheets, and I curse myself one massive F word, thinking how Mulder clung me close to him, embedded in them.

'A dog left outside in the rain', is what I decide Mulder must think I am. And then I instantly think of dogs being left outside in the rain, and start crying? God what is wrong with me, pull yourself together Dana!

I spy blood, and my tears stop. It's not much, a few droplets. But a distinct deep crimson on the wall-paint-white bedding.

"Scully..." Mulder calls through the door.

"Yeah" I reply, fingering the blood, it's dry. I shrug it off as another nose bleed.

"...the motel owner said he will get the lock fixed by this evening. In the mean time, you can keep your stuff in my room".

I rolled my eyes thinking about the passerbys, how Mulder had to explain the broken door to the motel owner. How this room reminded me of possibly one of the most embarrassing days of my adult life. "Actually Mulder, if you don't mind. I would like it if we found a new motel".

...

We have been driving now for ten minutes, in total silence. In Mulder's defence, he did attempt conversation over the current case we are working on, but I couldn't manage more than a one sentence answer.

All of a sudden, the car fills with his laughter; and assuming that I am the cause of his laughter, I shoot him what I hope is a pissed off stare. His eyes catch mine, and his laughter goes up a notch.

I roll my eyes and stare out at Pittsburgh.

"Oh come on" I hear him say through his laughter. He is silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry" he apologises, his voice more composed. "I was just, I was just thinking, how I am going to write off that receipt for a replacement lock" he explains through stifled laughter.

Well I'm glad someone finds my humiliation funny.

"Oh come on Scully. You've got to see the funny side. Laugh!" He orders.

I don't.

He starts poking my side, I do my best to deflect them with my elbow. But then he adds three fingers and a thumb, and starts tickling me.

"Mulder...Mulder!" I scold, keeping my laughter at bay. "You're driving. You'll start an accident"

"Well you'll always have my head to keep you company", I role my eyes at his reference to the case we are working on. Mulder thinks that a decapitated corpse, has risen from the dead. I know. I think he comes up with these theories, purposefully to piss me off.

"Maybe you can use it as a paperweight"

Second time round, and he still laughs at his unfunny joke.

"Come on Scully laugh!" He moves his hand off the wheel again, and I watch it move close to my face, where his fingers try to mould it in a smile.

Which it does. Solely because of his determination. And because I know if I don't, he will say how it is something to do with 'Serious Samy', and his temperament rubbing off on me. Which I guess maybe it is... All I know, is ever since Samy and I moved in together, I've felt as though I was drowning. And I don't know why, because he is everything I have ever wanted... Maybe it's me, maybe I can't juggle both home life and a career. I shudder to think how I would manage with a baby. Work would have to give.

"There you go, beautiful" he says over my smile. Our eyes lock, and all my thoughts of Samy disappear.

I feel a hot liquid trickle out my nose. Attractive.

Mulder pulls away, my blood is on his hand. But he simply pulls a wet wipe from the packet on the dash board and passes it to me, before pulling one for himself.

"They've been happening quite a lot lately" he observes.

A few times a week. "It's just stress I guess" I say, popping down the passenger mirror, I catch my gaunt reflection; I need some more of that Dubai sun.

He drums his now blood free fingers on the steering wheel. "I know doctors are the worst patients. But dont you think you should check it out. Just to be sure".

**PART II**

**21:46, Day 5**

I sit quietly in the passenger seat of the rental car, waiting for Mulder to come out of the hospital, and to take me away from this case. Usually, being attacked during a case, wouldn't deter me from seeing it through. In fact it would make me more determined, but ever since Mulder guided me to this seat, I haven't seemed to be able to move.

I am consciously aware of the tears periodically spilling out of my eyes.

My face frowns at my wrists. They are covered with red marks from my finger nails digging too deeply into them. It's a wonder I have not broken the skin, as with each wave of doubt/wonderment/fear, my finger nails instinctively dig in, removing the thought. Needless to say my wrists resemble tomatoes.

_Leonard Betts only attacks cancerous individuals, he came after_ ... I suck in a breath, wincing at the pain of my finger nails digging in.

_He attacked in defence. You were an obstacle to who he was really trying to get. You don't have ca_-, another breath. I can't even think the word.

_Its true. I have ca_-, another wince.

_A cancer-" _again_, "-eating decapitated man is preposterous Dana_! I chide myself and wipe away my tears.

...

Mulder returns half an hour later. Leonard Betts is dead, although his ghastly mother is still alive.

"...for now?" Mulder finishes.

And I snap out of my self loathing. "Cancer?" I ask, and my finger nails do what comes natural to them. I think Mulder sees.

He nods. Yes.

"You did good Scully. You should be proud"

But I can't even look into his eyes and acknowledge the compliment, as I am afraid I may start crying. Or that he'll see and ask questions over my swollen eyes... I'm thankful it is night time. "Take me home Mulder", I plead.

...

I wake up later in my apartment, and at first I don't know what wakes me as Samy is away on business. The green glare of my bed side alarm clock lets me know that it is after two. I haven't even been asleep for two hours.

Then I spy droplets of blood on my pillow, I trace my fingers over it. Another nosebleed... But before I can even think what it means, I jump out of bed. I rush over and open the doors of my wardrobe to find something nice to wear, maybe something sexy, that will show off my decaying body.

I scold myself for putting me in a grave before I even know. Because I will check soon, won't I?

After slipping on my little black number, I eye my reflection in the mirror. I put on a few strokes of mascara over my eyelashes and brows, and apply the pinnacle harlot-red lipstick. I tossle my hair out of its regimented straight work bob, bringing back something from the eighties.

Satisfied. I stuff my black sequin purse with the essentials for the evening. I consider calling Mulder, as I know he will still be awake; but brush off that decision. Tonight, I don't want any ties to who I am. Tonight, I want to be a different person.

Last but not least, the heels.

I take one last look at my reflection, and it is not someone I don't recognise, but someone I have not seen in a while. She is brazen, uncaring, un modest; and most importantly, doesn't make me dwell or regret what I should or should not have done.

This is the second time she has made an appearance, in about two months. And I know that it is a week day, and I have work tomorrow, and should be thinking about writing up Mulder's report. And at the same time, that I should stay at home like a good little fiancé, and debate Samy's request to impregnate me. But she, i look over my reflection again, doesn't give a fuck about either of them, or their needs.

* * *

**PART III**

**Basement Office**

**08:46, Day 7**

Two days have passed since Leonard Betts, since I learnt of my possible impeding death. Although I still have not gone to confirm my fears. I figure, if I don't know, it can never be true. Although not knowing is still making the idea of having this disease eat away at me, and surely that is worse.

I sit slouched in Mulder's office; in his office chair; his name plate toying in my hand. Waiting like a faithful dog; for his orders on what to do next.

It's so quiet with only my thoughts to occupy this floor level, that I hear the lift chime open. I hear Mulder's grumblings getting closer, until he is hovering over his desk in front of me. Of course, he has not even acknowledged my mood, and rambles on about himself, and how the world is so cruel because they are forcing him to take a week away from his precious X-Files.

God, what I would do for a week away.

Although nothing can stop me from leaving, instead, I decide to stay. Like a dog to its owner, even though there is a big wide green waiting outside the front door to be roamed, or the basement door, in my case.

"Why don't I have a desk?" I ask. Meeting his gaze, I see that he's pissed that I have interrupted his 'its so unfair' monologue. He doesn't understand what I am saying. And points to the hidden side room, with all the machinery and storage as my office.

He registers by my expression that I am unimpressed and gets defensive. "Fine, we'll have them bring another desk down and push them together really close, so we can play footsie" he says sarcastically.

I shake my head, I know my request was stupid. This office wouldn't manage another desk, and I really do not mind that side office as my own. I'm just... I don't know...bleagh.

Instead, I ask him to inform me more about the case he'd like me to manage, and as I listen, I decide it's preposterous fiction that I refuse to be a part of indulging . I could maybe out see this case with him, but without him, there is no chance.

"No Mulder" I inform him. "I'm not going".

He laughs wearily, not understanding why his dog is being so un-obedient. "What do you mean?" He asks, shocked.

Although when I tell him my exact thoughts on the case, his whole body and face goes all rigid and stern; he clenches his fists and purses his lips into a thin line. Well, he asked me.

"You're refusing this assignment" he asks easily, his voice contradicting his stance.

I arch an eyebrow. What is he my superior? "You make it sound like you're my superior"

And I see a fire blaze through him, because I know that it's the last thing he sees our partnership as, and a part of me feels guilty.

"Fine. Do what you like" He starts to clear away all the files he laid out, his anger transmitting through his jerky movements. "But remember, I worked my ass off to get these files reopened. You were just assigned. This work is my life"

And the guilt I earlier felt leaves me. Excuse me! Both my eyebrows raise. It's the same kick in the balls, well ovaries for me, that I gave him over my 'superior' comment seconds before. After all that I have done, suffered and sacrificed for the X-Files these past four years! It seems he has read my silent thoughts as I see the same wash of guilt go over him as it did me. But like me, he won't admit his words were wrong and unfair.

"It's become my life too" I point out what we both know, and have silently addressed.

"You don't want it to be" he adds; and my eyebrows raise again over his comment, shocked, because its not a question but a statement he already assumes of me.

There is an awkward silence until eventually our eyes find each other, both hurt by what the other has said; and I think we agree a truce.

"Well maybe it's good we get away from each other" he offers, and moves to exit the office.

I desperately try to think of something level to say. "Where will you go?" I ask. Who will you go with, I want to ask. Jennie? But I bite my lip.

"Ironically, it's personal"

And that is another kick to my ovaries, because everything about us is personal, at least that is what I thought. 'You are the only one I trust enough to hold the keys to my personal and work life', I recall the sweet words he once told me. That I believed.

After I hear him exit, I dig into my jacket pocket for the withered rose petal I spied earlier today. I kept it because it reminded me of myself, what I will soon become, how I feel inside. Decayed.

**PART IV**

**Hotel**

**Philadelphia, PA**

**08:37, Day 7**

I sit crossed legged on my hotel double bed, typing up my report, it was as I predicted, a farce.

The hotel room phone rings. "Hello?"

It's Mulder, he sounds distant. I hear Sammie's squeals of joy in the background. My stomach plummets, as it reminds me of everything I worry I now will not live to have.

"How did you know where I was?"

I frown at the answer he gives me. Trusty old Scully, he knew I wouldn't abandon him. I scold myself for being so predicatble before updating him on the case, by telling him there is no case. Which I knew he wouldn't take well, and he starts berating me with questions that I am too tired to answer because a plane journey, five fruitless hours of surveillance, has all been for nothing. Like I knew it would be for!

"Mulder" I interrupt his rant on our quickly turned argument. "I have to go."

"Why, do you have a date?" He asks sarcastically.

From his comment, my mind flicks to the guy I met earlier in the bar. He asked me out, and I turned him down; indirectly because of Mulder and Samy. But my plane is now cancelled for bad weather...

Mulder takes my silence, as yes. And maybe the Red Harlot does.

**PART V**

**Basement Office**

**08:55, Day 9**

The walk of shame was humiliating, even though it was only Mulder who really watched. The only one I cared was watching. From whence Mulder shouted his way through the hospital, demanding to see me. Insisting on sitting through my doctor dictate what they found in my system from my FBI protocal check up, obligatory when an Agent has been hospitalised.

I threw my head back to prevent the tears from falling out of mortification, when the doctor mentioned 'semen'. I knew that Mulder knew semen only survived in the body for three days, and that Samy has been away on business for a week. And because of this, he assumed rape. He immediately dialled the agent in charge, Smith, and spat down orders for it to be added to Jerse's charges.

The guilt, when I had to swallow back my pride and tell him it was consensual.

The complete and utter betrayal in his eyes, as if it was he I cheated on.

I will be forever carrying this shame, because it was only saying out loud that I realise, the awfulness of what I had done. Samy who loves me and trusts me. I wondered how I could let myself make that same mistake again. I swallowed the fowl bile that had collected in my mouth, I guess a leopard never changes its spots...

...

I slouch into the office, like the dog that I am with its tail between its legs. My face, body and pride are sore, from all of bruises and cuts caused by Jerse. Mulder follows closely behind, he knocks into me without apologising. I have never seen him this angry, and it makes me feel more worthless then I already feel.

"Welcome back" he says unconvincingly.

And I drop on the chair opposite his desk.

"You look a lot better than you did in the hospital"

By the tone, I realise he still hasn't forgiven me. I spy the withered rose petal I left on his desk, and pick it up. He is angry because he realises I am not the thing of beauty he thought I was, I have gone bad. Like this rose petal. My thumb tries to straighten out the wrinkles, but they won't smooth.

"Congratulations on making another appearance on the X-Files. I think you hold the record", again there is no conviction.

He carries on his persistent monologue rant, while I persistently try to smooth out this rose petal's flaws. Because I am withering and dying like this rose petal. Life is shrivelling away from me like this rose petal.

"...all because I wouldn't get you a desk?"

His question cause me to look up and study him for the first time in days. I see him take in the new bruises and cuts on my face. I see his stare go further and see other scars that have been imprinted on me in the past. His expression softens, and he looks vulnerable waiting for my answer.

I know I should comfort him with words. But all I can think is how I am destined to very soon become this rose, and what I choose to do before that fate becomes mine. A decision to be made, not based on Samy, and not based on Mulder, a decision of my own. "You know this is my life Mulder..."

"Yes, but it's m-"

My eyebrow arches at him, daring him to finish that sentence. Because we both now, with us it is personal. But because of Samy, the X-Files, his sister, Jennie... the list goes on. I know he won't, neither of us will. We pretend impersonality towards one another.

**_I am not particularly pleased at how melancholy I have made Scully this chapter, and I will try not to for next couple of chapters or so. Also for the amount of times the f word makes an appearance, and 'And'. And also Scully cheating on Samy, I know it's Samy and we all hate him but still. Although Gillian Anderson did write Scully as a home wrecker. I'm waffling now, next update should be up on Wednesday. I've been pumping them out this past week as I think before then I hadn't updated in two months :/, and the holidays end next week :(_**


	37. Small Bump

**_* Have Mulder's monotone voice in mind while you read_**

**Chapter 37: Small Bump**

**Episode and Spoilers: Momento Mori**

**PART I**

**Washington, DC**

**Early February 1997**

**09:45, Day 1**

_"Dana please just hear me out, I-"_

_"No!" She shook her hand violently out of my clasp. "This is my life Fox!"_

_"Yes but it's my life too" I retorted ..._

As I sit in the hospital car park, alone, with the engine still running. I can't count the amount of times I have replayed that argument in my head these past week. I can't believe after three years she would bite me in the ass with those same words again. Although the second time round, I realised I had no right to finish mine. The crazy thing is, I can't remember what it was we were even arguing about; who am I kidding, it was just another day in the messed up world, that was mine and Scully's relationship.

...

I hate hospitals. As I walk through the automatic doors I get a wift of that repugnant hospital smell; a mixture of antiseptics, bleach, human elimination, decay and despair. I bring Scully's flowers close to my nose in an attempt to neutralise the odour. It doesn't help.

It takes the nurse at the desk a while to find where in the hospital Scully is. Scully didn't specify on the phone, 'I need you to pick me up from the hospital Mulder'. I didn't realise the hospital was why she called in late for work; when I asked her, 'is everything was ok', she said, 'everything is fine. I just need you at the hospital'. Her voice gave nothing away, the same monotone voice she uses at work, that she uses to hide her true emotions. But I didn't ask anymore questions, Samy left her and I know that she has been having a hard time. I guess she told him about the last case; i guess that is why she asked me to pick her up; I guess that is why I have these flowers.

I tap my foot and drum my fingers impatiently. And just before the words come out of the nurse's lips. I suddenly have a brain wave, I recall a conversation, I know where in this damned hospital she is.

"She is in the oncology ward, sir"

**PART II**

**Allentown, PA**

**12:55**

Haring down the freeway at a hundred miles an hour, that conversation becomes clearer in my head. We were working a case in Allentown PA; she was freaked out because this group of women said that they knew her, from her abduction. She also said that they all had cancer. Really I should have been all over that, and after two hours of driving I still don't know why I wasn't; why I took her 'I'm fine' for word, why I didn't push her to search deeper for the truth. Whatever my reason was, it's bullshit in my face now.

I don't know why we are driving all the way, and not at least taking part of the journey by plane. But once I got Scully in the car, and away from that hospital; I haven't really been able to ease my foot off the gas.

I look over at Scully in the passenger seat. She has been awfully quiet throughout the journey, we both have; leaving me alone with my taunting thoughts and my 'what ifs'. The sun's rays shine directly on her head, creating a ring of light around her, she looks like an angel, my angel. I refuse to believe that the cancer is it for her; I refuse to believe there is not a cure.

...

Scully directs me to the correct house. Walking up the steps, I think the fresh air and freedom to roam does us both good. I feel it in the air between us, a knew sense of hope.

Our hope is soon dashed when we find out from the house realtor that Betsy Hagopian has died, cancer. I see Scully start to flag to the left of me, I think in the direction of my arms. I give her side a small encouraging squeeze, and she snaps out of it.

With a bit of work from Scully, the realtor finally agrees to let us survey the house. But it seems to have been stripped bare, along with any clues it might have held. We walk around the two floors and find nothing. I feel Scully is starting to waver again, her shoulders slouch as if she is already giving into defeat. Our eyes connect and she looks at me as if I am her last hope.

I am not ready to give in. So with one last ditch attempt, I pick up the house phone in the hall for the last dialled number, in the hope that it may lead to something or someone. We are both grateful to hear interference on the line.

...

It leads us out of the suburbs, and to a basement flat in the city, where we knew that someone was transferring files from the late Betsy Hagopian's computer. Who would be interested with the files on a suburban unattached dead woman's computer? I would say no one. If this dead woman claimed to be abducted and given cancer in a conspiracy known and protected by the American government. I for one would kill to be one of them.

...

It's amazing how a common, seemingly uneventful act or occurrence, can quickly turn and become something heart stopping, poignant; making you wonder why you had never noticed the importance of it before. Like Scully's mundane nose bleeds; it arrived like clock work, not particularly bloodier; yet it's significance made my heart stop and everything else around me start to disappear, so much so our suspect almost freed himself out of my hold. Twice she ordered me to look away, twice I could not bring myself too, because the seriousness of her illness only just seemed to register.

**17:55**

As is common on these cases, our suspect has become our ally; and Scully and I have separated to do our own version of investigation. Part of me wanted to keep her close; part of me thought a little space was a good idea; a larger part of me knew she would just go anyway. Besides I think we would work better, without the other as a reminder of why we were here, why the urgency.

Unlike me, Scully still will not begin to admit how and why she contracted her cancer, or even entertain the idea that its the same way Betsy Hagopian and those ten other mufon women claim to have gotten theirs. Ten are dead, fuck; every time I remind myself I have this rotten feeling rise from my stomach to my mouth, it tastes bad, how I imagine bull shit to actually taste.

So Scully has gone to the hospital to seek her answers from the only surviving member of the mufon group. And I am sat back in the basement apartment with our new ally, Crawford, in awe of what I have found in these files Hagopian had on her computer. I am sure that I am on to something; looking at these links, even Scully could not retort that it is just a coincidence; which as far as I am concerned, there are none in this particular investigation.

I turn my body around to collect a file I placed behind me. My eyes lock with Crawford, he's staring at me, this is the third time I have caught him doing this, he quickly adverts his eye. But like I say, no coincidences.

"What gives? I don't think I have ever met you before, but you have me"

"No" Crawford shrugs.

"Well for starters you won't quit staring at me. And also, you knew my name before I even introduced myself. I don't miss a trick"

He placed his files down to the side of him. "I knew your sister, back when she wasn't sure she even had a brother, but she would tell me stories, fragments of memories she didn't know whether they were true or not"

What? "What?!" my voice a strangled whisper, I let my files fall.

"She was Eve and I was Adam"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"... actually you were the planned Adam, but they took your sister instead, I was back up. I don't blame you, I'm sure I would have been taken, as there were others?"

"Others?"

"Other children"

"And my sister, where is she now?! This is why-, where is she now?"

"I don't know, where She the original is. She ran away"

"Where?!"

"I don't know, she ran away. Like you I have tri-"

He stopped at the sound of my cell. I didn't want to answer, but it might be Scully. Putting aside my confusion over what I just have been told, I update her on the case. I don't mention my revelation, now is about her not my sister, and I'm worried she would take any excuse to side track.

Scully doesn't want to know though, what two hours of me sifting through data has got me. She is trusting her science instead, and I can't really blame her for that. 'Bring over night bag to hospital. Call my mother'.

I am ashamed to say that I am hesitant to leave this basement apartment and all the truths it holds. A big part of me, more than anything wants to stay sifting through these files, listen more to what Crawford has to say about my sister, why she was taken, and where she now may be. It's just my luck that my world's would come crushing together, at their most crucial moments.

I once had to make a decision before, Scully or my sister. I chose Scully and lost my sister, or who I thought was my sister, and my links to finding her. But now it seemed like I was being given a second chance.

**PART III**

**Day 6**

It has been five days since I last saw Scully, three since I last spoke to her. She had just undergone her first round of chemotherapy; hearing her in so much pain, made my whole self just freeze, I faked a reason and put the phone down on her. It was wrong, I know, but now I can't seem to pick the phone back up.

Skinner wont help me get in contact with Smoking Man, so I have gotten the Lone Gunmen involved. I'm currently and illegally running down the hallway at Lumbard Research Facility, my subconscious couldn't have picked a better time to kick in. I am being sarcastic of course, and rattle my head, in the hope that it will get dizzy and forget.

But I can't. I know it is because I have just spotted Scully's doctor that is treating her for cancer at this research facility; whether the staff her are looking for a cause of cure for cancer, we are still hazy on. I think back to Tunguska, the scientists there were looking for a cure too. One thing I do know for sure though, Scully will not be a lab rat. We need to get to her, and fast.

"Where the hell am I? Langley, can you hear me!" I call to the air. Him and Frohike are supposed to be monitoring me and Byres via a camera. Although now the doors won't unlock, and we're at a dead end. 'You need to get to Scully. You need to get Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully' my brain whirs on over drive.

"Open up" I bang my fists on the door, twice. I am about to fist it a third time when...the door opens. And there stands Crawford-... Three of them?

"You're a hybrid?" A let out in amazement, just like Samantha.

I quickly observe the room, because I have a time limit. I see full sized children growing in tanks. I have seen this before, with adults, but the evidence was taken before I could collect proof. I lean closer to the tank, I've seen that boy before. With Jeremiah Smith. He was with my sister, there were hundreds of them, as children working in the plantation, no older than the day she disappeared. I did try finding that field again, I wasn't really surprised when I found that it had disappeared.

I frown, if they are growing hybrids of this boy then, then they are the enemy. "You've been using me" I accuse.

"No Agent Mulder. You simple coincided with our execution of subverting this project. The project that created us" the hybrid says in a voice to even to be human.

"These boys are you?"

"We are the end product?"

"The end? You mean you don't age any further"

He shook his head.

"And you want to destroy them?"

"No Agent Mulder, we want the same thing as you do?"

What's that I think. All I want is to get to Scully and stop her treatment. Oh! And take away her cancer, that would be good. I shake my head at my own pessimism.

He leads me down a hallway to a long filing cabinet. I have seen filing cabinets like this before, they hide dark truths. I gulp as the hybrid points to a drawer. 'D. Scully?'

"Human ova" he explains.

"What!" I exclaim, opening the drawer to seek its contents. "How long has it been here?" I demand.

"Most likely since her abduction. For later fertilisation"

What?!

"These women are your mothers?"

"Barren, from the same procedure that caused them cancer. And then left to die, the staff here hasten their deterioration"

"You're trying to save these women?"

"They are our mothers". I look him over because it seems to emotional for a hybrid, but he looks serious. I pocket Scully's harvested ova in my pocket before making an exit. I need to get to her.

I haven't ran a minute until something hits me, and I dart back to find the hybrid.

"Wait, wait...Scully was..." I fight to catch my breath in all the excitement. "Scully was pregnant when she was abducted. How could they take her ova if she was pregnant?" It must be recent, I think, and am reminded once again of how I desperately need to get to her.

The hybrid looks as confused as I do.

"Do you think...do you think they would have hurt the child?"

"You mean have it aborted, it depends how far -"

"Six months. She was six months pregnant when she got abducted"

The hybrid is still wearing a face of confusion. "Maybe" his frown intensifies. "But you know these scientists are innovating this research everyday. I mean this" he knocks on the glass tank. "This is old school. I heard that they are trying it so women give birth to actual alien babies, human on the outside, but on the inside just like me, only more powerful, more superhuman. But that's a long way off..."

"But there is a chance..."

"Yes there is a chance. But if these scientists have anything to do with it. There is no way her child would be normal!" I faintly hear him call after me, because I am running back down towards the exit with a new purpose. My daughter may be still alive.

**PART IV**

**Allentown, PA**

**Same time**

I have collected my things and packed them back into my small suitcase. I have decided that I can no longer take this, watching my daughter dwindle away like this. She came into this hospital healthy, and these drugs have made her into a person I never wanted to live to see. She is giving in too quickly.

I tap her on the shoulders. Quite harshly, by her expression. Her eyes slowly flutter open. She frowns. "Mom?" Her voice is less then a croak.

"Dana I'm leaving"

"Mom?" She sounds vulnerable, I know she wants me stay, but I just can't.

I feel tears well up, but I fight them. "Dana, I have decided you are not sick, I have decided that this cancer is not going to defeat you, us. It is not going to take away my baby girl, my only daughter" as my words continue, I feel more self assured in what I am saying.

"Mom-"

I cut her off with my voice and sharp hand gesture. "People live with cancer everyday. You came into this hospital healthy, and that is exactly how you are going to leave. Lunch at mine on Sunday, tell Fox like always, he is more than welcome".

And I march out the room, leaving my flabbergasted daughter, propping herself up on wobbly elbows.

**PART V**

**Scully residence**

**Annapolis, MD**

**14:28, Day 7**

Dana is here staying with me for the weekend. She decided to stop her treatment; and already she looks so much stronger. I don't know if her decision was because of my words, or something that Fox may have said. She told me he was there when she discharged herself, and drove her home. I think maybe it was both of us together, it takes a lot to persuade my stubborn daughter.

Watching her through the glass of the conservatory window, I'm supposed to be getting dinner ready. She is looking through old photograph albums from when we... when we were young and all together. Not separated by death or miles. But that is not what's really in the forefront of my mind. It's an urge, an urge that first came about when I was sitting there in the hospital arm chair, watching her lay motionless in her bed. Thinking of all the things that she would not live to see grow, marriage, children... I have an overwhelming urge to tell her about her daughter.

...

I join Dana at the table in the conservatory, and move the album so we can both enjoy it together. Her hands trace over one of the six of us in Hawaii. All tanned, and freckled; Bill, Melissa and Bill Jrs hair, a gingerish-blonde in the sun. Mine and Charlie's has lightened to almost the same brown of our complexion. And Dana's ... I let out a laugh.

"Your hair. I have never seen a child's hair go through so many shades of colour. It was dark brown when you were born, it when red when you were about two, and then slowly went back to brown, so you ended up with a I don't know what to call it shade of hair" I squeeze her arm encouragingly and she laughs.

"We look happy"

"That's because we were"

She suddenly gets tearful.

"What is it Dana?" I ask closing the album.

"Oh I don't know. To think, to think that I will never have this" she motions her hands to the closed album.

"Dana, people with cancer still-"

"No mom, I..."

"Baby girl, you have to learn to live in the moment and not be fearful of what tomorrow will bring"

She snorts. "That sounds like something Mulder would say"

"Well you know I give good advice"

"Yeah you do" she smiles, but lets out a mournful sigh. "Who would have thought that I would ever be upset about not having a child. I mean God, I never even recollect a time when I ever wanted a children. Even as a girl, I never wanted a doll or anything. Did I moma?

"No you didn't" I reply truthfully...but I can't help myself. "But you know Dana, seeing you lying on that hospital bed. It made me realise there are some truths that have to be told to you. God granted you a child, just denied the chance to watch her grow"

**PART VI**

**Washington, DC**

**Same time**

Jennie's parents are in town this weekend, or else I would be with Scully. It's weird how different Jennie and her brothers are from their parents. The siblings are all hippyish and free spirited, and their parents are all prim and proper. Which is why I am at the golf club, looking like an absolute dick in my loafers, corduroys, and Ralph Lauren polo. I even have the sweater draped across my lapels.

I still haven't figured out how I am going to tell Scully about her ova that I found, what it all means, I wonder if I ever will. I still haven't told her about the Black Cancer, I still haven't told her about our daughter, and I am sure a million of other things. But I guess they are the most important, and I wonder the same thing as before, will I ever tell her.

Scully still wants to go back to work on Monday, and I know despite my words, there is nothing I can do to stop her. Things will be different though, no more conspiracy cases, at least none that she will be involved in. I alone will now head these investigations, maybe with the Gunmen for help, they proved both helpful and desirable in Allentown.

And there is the matter of our daughter. Our daughter who I thought was long lost, there is now hope. Small, but I endeavour to work on it, alone. There is no need for getting anyone's hopes up until I am sure...

Sammie's squeals catch my attention. Her uncle, Jennie's brother is waving her through the air like an aeroplane. I smirk, she not laughing nearly as much as when I do it to her.

I briefly glance at my cell, and see that I have a voice message.

...

I am glad that I drove my father's sports car to the gold club. Mrs Scully is about to make a serious mistake. Our has, I didn't register how long ago the message had been left. The message alone was enough. She can't tell Scully about Matilda, not now that - now that what? Just not now! I argue with myself.

I decide to make a pitstop at my house. I decide that if I get to her mother's house, and Scully has been informed, then I have some things at home that she will want to see.

**PART VII**

**Scully Residence**

**Annapolis, MD**

**16:01, Day 7**

I compose myself in the car outside her mother's house, wondering what the fuck it is I am going to say. My heart is beating like 100 miles per hour I swear, and it has nothing to do with my driving.

Whatever it is you're going to say, you better be ready' I coach myself as I see Scully emerge out of the front door; I try to seek out her expression. Yep she has been told.

I quickly reach for the cardboard box, I spent so long assembling, so I can meet her half way.

She knocks the box out of my grasp, it falls with a heavy thud, but it doesn't spill open, luckily there is nothing breakable in there.

"The truth will set you free" she re-quotes my earlier words from the hospital; there is so much venom in her voice, that I am rooted to the spot. I don't know what I expected. "The truth will set us both free", she shoves me but I don't budge I am that rooted. "The truth will only set you free you jack ass, because you don't trust me with the truth" she runs back up the pathway and disappears back into the house, I hear crying all the way.

...

I give Scully half an hour before I enter the conservatory where she is sitting. It is the same room where we had Sunday lunch that time. I rest the cardboard box in the far corner, so that she can see it and me in her peripheral, but I am also not invading her personal space.

"Why didn't you tell me Mulder?" there is no anger in her words, just defeat. "Well?" She asks when a couple of minutes have passed and I have stayed silent.

"I wanted to, believe me I wanted to, but I couldn't because of your health -"

"Oh don't throw that bull shit on me, you have put me in many situations where my health and survival is greatly at risk"

"Scully, I swear its true. They told me you would turn into a vegetable or something because of your over active neurons - or -" I fight to remember what it was exactly her doctor said.

"It should have come from you" she states simply, she still hasn't made eye contact. But now she does. "When I asked my mom who the father was, she said I had to ask you, because you were the only one I trusted. Well I assure you that is not the situation now!" She screams/ crys. "So tell me Mulder" her voice more wobbly now. "I want to hear it from your lips".

I stare to the floor. This is the moment that I have been thinking about for over two years now. How did I plan it? Not like this... "I am", my eyes are still trained on the floor. "I was the father". There is silence, so I raise my head. Silent tears are falling from her eyes.

"Get out Mulder" she whispers.

But I can't leave her like this.

"All this time, all these places I have followed you looking for the truth. Somebody, something, some people's truth, and you couldn't even have the decency, have the time for our own personal truth. Please Mulder, just leave".

As I exit the front door, I avoid Mrs Scully's eyes. I'm sure she was listening in. I almost wished that Scully had kicked and screamed at me, her silent anger was much more harrowing.

...

In the early evening, I shuffle over to the cardboard box Mulder left. 'SCULLY AND BABY' is boldly printed on the top, it is in pristine condition, which makes me think that it has been opened since it was first filled, which I think may have been just today.

I carefully open the sleeves as if they were made of glass. And pause before I look in. A yellow post-it note lies on top of a black photo album, 'there is more when you are ready to see it', is scribbled in Mulder's handwriting. I delicately outline the album before inching the hardback open, there is an image of what I guess is the profile of my stomach early gestation. I let out the breath I was holding. This isn't so bad. My eyes move to the text written above it, it's my writing, fancy, usually reserved for Birthday and Christmas cards. 'Matilda Samantha Scully-Mu-", I snap it closed, my cardiac muscle seems to have seized...maybe I can't do this.

I instead decide to remove everything from the box. 'Everything' is just a smaller cardboard box. I shake it, it makes noise as if it is full of photographs, and something else; nonetheless, I don't think I am ready to open it.

My eyes double take as it catches something at the bottom of the outer cardboard box. An angularly folded piece of paper, the corner of it is just visible. By the way its hidden; I don't think it is supposed to be in amongst the rest of the contents. I reach for it and it slides out of the cardboard folds easily. Mulder's messy handwriting is printed on the inside.

'_July 7th 1994: Scully six months knocked up'_

I roll my eyes at his terminology before reading on.

'_You're just a small unborn bump, in four months you'll come to life,_

_You might be stuck with my hair but you'll have your mother's eyes,_

_I hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can but now your just an unplanned scan in my laid out plans,_

_Small bump, in four months you'll come to life._

_Soon i'll hold you tightly, and tell you nothing but truths,_

_Or though you're not inside me, I put my whole future in you,_

_Because you are my one and only,_

_You can wrap your fingers around my thumb and hold me, tight,_

_As you will lie with me,_

_With your tiny feet,_

_Right in front of me,_

_For a couple weeks,_

_So I can keep you safe_

_Small bump unknown, you'll grow into your skin,_

_With a smile like hers, and my dimple beneath your chin,_

_Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice,_

_And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide._

_Small bump, I can't for you to come into my life.'_

My glassy eyes reach the bottom of page, where two lines have been written in different ink. His writing is smaller and very un-neat. I blink away my tears, bringing the paper closer, I can just about make it out_._

_'Small bump unborn for six months then torn from life._

_Maybe you were needed up there, but i'm still unsure as why'._

Oh Mulder.

I look up from my hunched over position on the floor. My mother has been watching me from the door. I try to fight it, really do, but the tears burst from my eyes like a six year old.

I watch my mother rush over, she holds me tight until all my tears have stopped.

...

My tears have now turned to sniffles, as I remove myself from my mother's chest.

"I need to go to him" I croak. "He needs me"

My mother nods understandingly. Sympathy in her watery eyes, and I think also relief, that the truth is in the open.

**PART VIII**

**Mulder's Apartment**

I quickly check my reflection in the car mirror. I am glad that I took my mother's advice and washed my face with cold water, it looks a lot better now. I lock the door, and make my way up the steps to his apartment building empty handed, because all I bought is myself and keys. Oddly, what feels most weird to me this moment, is walking up to Mulder's apartment in my civilian clothes, I feel somewhat underdressed without my suit and the X-Files accompanying me.

I slow near the top step. The intensity of the situation again hitting, and I have to hunch over and let in deep breaths. What are we going to say to each other? I ask myself.

The right words will come once your there, my subconscious resolves, getting impatient, and before I can second guess it, I make my way up.

...

I knock lightly on Mulder's front door, it's ajar. I inch myself further into the apartment. The living room is a mess of cardboard boxes and useless bric a brac; it honestly looks like a bomb has gone off, and I suddenly worry that maybe he has been burgled. I quicken my descent around the apartment.

"Mulder" I roll my eyes, no one could possibly hear that whisper. "Mulder", a little louder. He isn't in his bedroom; which I observe is actually now a fully functioning bedroom, that must be Jennie's influence.

I let out a sigh of relief when I see he wasn't in his bathroom either, my mind was playing horrible tricks on me of Mulder lying dead in the bath.

I walk back into the living room. Poke my head round the kitchen door. No Mulder. I slap my hands against my thighs in frustration. Where is he?

I hear faint muffles of crying in my right ear, and turn towards the sound. It's coming from the store cupboard door? I open it to find it towering with wall upon wall of cardboard boxes, it's not a cupboard but a room that I didn't even know existed.

I follow the created wall of cardboard, cautiously, I would be a definite goner if they collapsed on me.

I find Mulder slumped on his ass like a rag doll. The vicinity around him is covered with paper, photographs, clothes and various other bric a brac. He is crying. A purple and cream polka dot onsie is plastered across his chest. He has not realised that I am also in the room.

I crouch down next to him. And he looks up at me in shock; even more so when he realises the other person in the room is me. He blinks, as if I am an illusion.

"I...I'm sorry!" He cries out in agony, and it makes my heart break. I realise that this is harder for him, than it is for me. All these years he has had to grieve, alone. What's more, he remembers what it was like, before; when it was him, I, and small bump. And maybe I am still angry at him, but for now ...

"I'm sssso ssossorry" he cries out again.

...I pull him into my chest, and cradle him in my arms as if he is my child.

**_Mulder's poem is from Ed Sheeran's 'Small Bump', I am sure it has been released a long time but I just got played it for the first time yesterday, and it is my new favourite song. Give it a listen if you haven't already _****_Thanks for reading and to those who review._**


	38. Just until your tears have dried

**_Songspiration for this chapter: 'to know him/her is to love him/her' Amy Winehouse and BB King._**

**Chapter 38: Just until your tears dry  
Episode: Unrequited.  
Spoilers: Per Manum, Kaddish, Momento Mori, Redux II**

**PART I  
J Edgar Hoover FBI HQ, DC  
February 1997  
Day 1, 09:12**

On the outside, they act as if everything has gone back to normal, but it isn't.

It has been almost two weeks since Maggie had told her daughter the complete truth - or the complete truth as she knew it surrounding Scully's abduction, and the baby's supposal death. And, although Mulder had admitted to Scully that he was the baby's father, he had divulged little more since. Nothing of their relationship at the time. Nothing of his new hope that their daughter may in fact be alive.

Despite that evening where Scully had held Mulder to her chest, comforting him until all his tears had dried. Things since between them have been, explicably awkward. Scully still unsure over how she felt towards Mulder and his lies - well she did, that was their problem.

While Mulder, relieved that the truth was out - and maybe also that it had not had to be spilled from his lips. Now however, has all the insecurities he had already festered in - namely over how Scully would react to him, his inability to protect his child, its mother; bubbling at his mind's surface.

...

The called lift doors open but Mulder hesitates over the other person already occupying the lift; debating whether it is wise to invade her personal space unannounced...?  
"There you are", Mulder smiles; hopeful for a reply other than the curse nod of her head.

Unaware the lift doors had opened, his voice awakens Scully from her own consumption. She quickly scans the background behind the 'unwanted obstruction', realises it isn't her floor and waits impatiently for the lifts further descent.

"... I have been looking all over for you", Mulder tries again, at least to win her eye contact. Scully had been bugging him for months to have his hair cut, stating over again how distracting 'bangs over the eyes' must be for his concentration, and his perceived level of professionalism; so yesterday evening, he had gotten Jennie to style his hair to a very regimented buzz cut. Professionalism aside, he hadn't minded the bangs; this new hair cut made his scalp cold in the harsh February wind; its humiliation, made him wish it was acceptable to wear at hat inside. But his desperation to please her is overriding.

Giving in to his existence, the look she shoots him isn't _exactly_ friendly, but he'll take it. Besides, it softens, slightly, when she sees his pathetic hopeful smile; like a child who knows they have done wrong and hopes that flattery will work in their favour. Her heart warms, slightly; and her cheeks flush, slightly. She mentally reminds herself that she is at work, not at home; that he is her work partner, not her ..._?_ - and that a level professionalism is called.  
"Hi. Um, I'm sorry. I had a doctors appointment and um, I don't know, time got away from me" she fumbles.

Something was wrong. Mulder had registered his partner's frustration as soon as the lift doors opened, he assumed it was because of him; but apparently, something else was the cause of it, something possibly more serious.  
"Dana, what's wrong?"

She falters, stopping her aggressive strides across the confined lift space, angry at his personalised use of her first name.  
Realising there is no escape from him, she turns to face him.

From the look on her face, Mulder isn't sure if she is about to burst out crying or rip someone's dick off. He shifts uncomfortably on the spot.

"Nothing, no I just went for a walk" she says in a voice too sweet; punches 'B' on the lift; and resumes her pacing of the lift; trying to ignore Mulder's hawk stare.

"Mmmm...then what's wrong?" Mulder asks more forcefully. He steps into the lift towards her; the lift doors close behind him; his fear over her is forgotten, replaced by worry.

Scully puts up her hands to block Mulder's advance. He gets the message. 'Don't touch me. Don't come any closer'.  
He stops and she sighs, leaning her head back so that the base of her skull connects with her upper vertebrae. She has known for a week. As soon as they had returned from Allentown, Mulder had checked her in for her mandatory FBI post-field work check up. This time, she had made him wait outside while the doctor informed her of her results.  
She sighs again, giving in, she can't hide from him. "I'm sorry I haven't told you...you were there for me through my illness, but..." -and maybe it was also a bit of payback.

Mulder leans in so his breath whisps across her lips.  
"Don't make me guess".

His proximity makes her insides squirm. Reminding her that yes, Mulder was the image of her son that she could scold; but he could definitely also be the man to throw her on a surface and make hot passionate love to her. And it infuriates her; anger, red and hot; she visibly fights to re-scramble her thought process back to reality. "I was left unable to conceive from whatever treatment they did". She let the point hang in the air between them, because they both knew it wasn't so a few years ago.  
She opens her mouth to continue, but something flashes across her mind, distracting her. _Not again_, she curses...

_'A gentle kiss from a nameless faceless person, because everything is black, everything but the touch of those lips as the kiss becomes deeper, more feverent. She knows the lips, that touch, as invisible hands start to crawl up her body, massaging. They reach the wire of her bra and they massage their way under, her skin goes all goose pimply and stands to attention. Not from fear, from intense lust; those hands, those lips, the owner unknown to her, but known to her body; it creates the flutter of butterfly wings throughout her body, and she feels safe, at home...'_

Another flash -

_'...a feeling of fullness, added weightiness to her body - although concentrated to one point, her lower abdomen, the skin is stretched. Her hands languid over the stretched skin, entwined with another a pair, a much larger masculine pair...'_

- both flashes no longer than a moment each; but still, she is sure she knows the touch, just afraid to admit it. "... And I am not ready to accept that I will never have children"

Mulder looks down to his shoes. Another lie. Another crucial factor he had not wanted to spill from his lips because of his worries over her health. Although, he was sure she would be as impressed with his decision as she was the last time. The lift dings, and he takes his Divine exit.  
He stops.  
His shoulders relax.  
He realises if he wants to rectify their relationship, he will have to start telling her some truths. "Scully there is something I haven't told you , and I, uh hope you, uh forgive me..." he allows his wandering eyes to meet hers; whose are challenging him to admit what it is that has made him fuck up again. "...And understand my reasons for keeping it from you" he continues.

"What?" she accuses; impatient, nervous about what more unspoken truths might come out of his lips.

Again, as if by magic. The lift doors dings and moves to segregate the partners. Mulder's sigh of relief is to soon though, as one of Scully's hands moves to stop the doors from closing. The strength that she had lost as a result of her hoax-chemotherapy-turned tests, is gradually building back.

"During my investigation into your illness... I found out why you might be barren, ...because I found some of your ova stored in a government lab that the same doctor who treated you and Hogopian worked"

"What" she exclaims in disbelief. "You found them?" _Like you find a stray dog, you just found my stray ova?!_

"I took them directly to a specialist to let me know if they were ok or not..." he soldiered on, his fear over her creeping back in.

"I don't believe this!"

"- Scully you were deathly ill, and then..." - the baby, her glance articulates that he doesn't have to mention the obvious.

"...I couldn't bare to give you anymore bad news". His eyes don't loose contact with hers, willing her not to be angry at him.

"And that is what it is, bad news?" Hurt straining her voice, tears stinging her eyes.

"They're not viable" he says solemnly, letting the words hang in the air.

They lock eyes.  
"I want another opinion" Scully recovers and quickly presses '1', to go nowhere in particular, but anywhere away from Mulder, and his constant lies.

His hands stops the doors like hers did before. He still hasn't averted his gaze from hers.

"Well?" she asks forcefully.

He doesn't want her to cause herself more pain; but he has no say over what she does. And it has nothing to do with Samy being back in her life... When Mrs Scully had called Samy after Mulder had called about Scully being in hospital. She had not realised that him and her daughter were no longer together, never to know why. But he was there when Scully returned to her mother's house after leaving Mulder; he had been the man who embraced her until all her tears had gone.  
Mulder, realises he alone is at fault for his current position with Scully, and reluctantly let the lift doors close in his face. He waits, head resting against the basement lift doors for a few moments, wondering whether he should run after her.

**PART II  
General Bloch's office  
The Petagon, DC  
17:09, Day 1**

He did go after her, but not for the right reasons.

Mulder had volunteered their assistance on another state case, there was to be a Vietnam veterans parade later this evening outside the Vietnam War Memorial in DC; Skinner himself was heading the team. There would be pro-war and anti-war activists, the FBI had been assigned to ensure the peaceful running of it. Was Mulder pro Vietnam war? No. Patriotic? Not in the slightest. Were there juicier leads on more fat X-Files cases? Yes! And they were beginning to create a mess; over his desk, mailbox, email, cell phone, they were even now emerging on his house answer machine.

'Why are we here?' Scully had hissed to him when they had first walked through the Pentagon doors earlier that day. 'How is this an X-File?'

She wasn't impressed with his choice of a new case. In fact she hadn't been impressed with his last few choices, complaining that they were police work at best. And she was right; but, he was intent on keeping his promise to himself, to keep Scully away from those type of cases.

Besides, the paranormal wasn't completely lost to them, it had made an appearance on their last case investigating the death of a man from the Jewish community, and it seemed as though it was making an appearance in this case too. In the space of nine hours there had been two generals murdered by an unknown killer. Unknown because he was invisible, although not completely, as a civilian had claimed they conversed with him, that he had given her something, a new hope and fear, with the gift of her presumed late husband's army name tag, and hearsay that he was still a prisoner of war.

Twenty five years as a veteran widow and this woman had finally been able to move on; a new husband, children. Scully had sympathised greatly with this woman, she felt that she could relate to how she was feeling on some level. 'Imagine a woman's sorrow over losing the love of her life. For time to finally heal those wounds enough so that she could move on, only for life then to collide the two so harshly. If her husband manages to come back, who will she choose?', she wondered aloud to herself back in the confines of her rental car.

...

Mulder paces through the foyer at the Pentagon for the lift. His cell goes off and he slows, deciding to let the lift go.  
"Mulder..."

He paces back towards the entrance door. It is Langley, and he doesn't want anyone overhearing their conversation. The Lone Gunmen have been holding fort, while he is preoccupied with these demeaning cases. It had got to the point where Mulder looked forward to not be in Scully's presence, so that he could get lost in these new pieces of information that definitely warranted his attention.

"Scully?"

No. A man in Idaho who is claiming to...

"- I've told you guys, Scully and her cancer are the only-" his tone verging on a snap.

They found another potential research facility in Virginia.

"Ok, I'll stop by this evening. This case shouldn't go on too far in to the night. Anything about ...?"

They hadn't. Mulder hangs up; Scully isn't the only girl at the forefront of his mind, and he briefly wishes that the three Gunmen could be replaced by three of the Crawfords, at least maybe they would get somewhere. But that is the excellence about sabotage when you leave no clues; the Samantha clones had sacrificed themselves too at that research facility Mulder had intercepted a few years ago. Still, he thought, if he looks hard enough, there had to be more of them out there that could help him...  
Mulder clenches his fists and grits his teeth. He hates the precious time, minutes, hours, that are being taken up by this cases.  
He takes the stairs to vent out his anger and frustration.

...

Mulder sees the silhouette of Scully in General Bloch's office from the stairway exit and his mood instantly lightens. He takes a few minutes to catch his breath.

"Scully are you ok? I heard what happened..." he addresses her as soon as he walks in, ignoring everyone else's attention on him. He ushers her towards the office door, as General Bloch is shouting orders down the phone

"- I don't know what I saw Mulder" she cuts him off angrily, shifting uncomfortably on the spot as she tries to avoid his eye. Afraid he is going to convince her to admit seeing someone, when she isn't entirely sure or comfortable in saying she did.

"It was Teager, wasn't it?"

She purses her lips in frustration. _He's doing it again, pushing me to believe_. "I said, I didn't know what I saw Mulder", curtly.

"Something enough to pull out your gun...".

Scully let's out a deep sigh. "I think I saw...". She falters as General Bloch and Skinner join their conversation.

"What are you two whispering about?" Skinner asks.

"Who it was that Agent Scully saw, Teager" Mulder responds, and Scully shoots him an annoyed look.

"I said I wasn't sure what I saw Mulder" she corrects, and earns a disappointed look from Mulder.

"Please the woman is delirious, she obvious-..." General Bloch mumbles, and then stops as three sets of eyes turn on him. Then, like a flash, a large fist, knocks him to the ground, General Bloch narrowingly missing Scully as he falls.

"Agent Mulder!" Skinner barks.

Mulder turns to exit the office. His eyes flick on Scully, she hasn't voiced it, but it is clear from her look that she is less than displeased at him and his actions.

_What's knew?_ he thinks and storms down the corridor.

"Agent Mulder!" Skinner barks again, marching closely behind in Mulder's wake.

Scully meanwhile orders someone to get something to stop the flow of the General's nosebleed. She then runs after Skinner, placing a gentle hand on his arm. Skinner stops his ascent, and watches her run past him.

"Agent Scully" he calls after her, knowing that is all he has to say to convey to her the depth of shit Mulder is in; that he will be responsible for his actions; and an apology.

Still running after Mulder, Scully whips her head around and nods. She understands.

Scully catches up with Mulder on the first flight of stairs.  
'Mulder' she'd called, but he hadn't slowed his descent of the stairs.  
'Mulder!' shouting this time.

He stopped, and dragged his feet up the stairs to meet her.

He slouches against the brilliant white wall, hands in his pocket, avoiding her eye contact, waiting for her to speak.

"Mulder?" she says in a soft motherly tone.

He meets her gaze, she is worried, out of breath. He curses himself for making her run.  
"I got angry. I got angry and I couldn't keep it in. I hate this case. I don't want to be here. He insulted you, and I just got angry"

She rests a hand on his arm and grips it slightly. He instantly warms at her touch, he wishes it was more, but it is warming nonetheless.

"Mulder there is nothing to be angry about, it-"

He scoffs. "Please, you're not now going to deny what you heard"

"No Mulder, but we're assigned for his protection"

"Scully-"

"It's not just this case Mulder. The last case we were on, you practically threatened that man because of his beliefs", she exasperated.

"Can you blame me?!"

"No, I can't blame you for feeling like that, but blame can be on you for acting on it"

"If I was African American, and he was distributing leaflets about how they were to blame for AIDs, no one would blame me" he mutters.

"Yes they would. We're FBI agents, we're exposed to prejudices everyday. You were lucky enough to get away with warning, but assaulting a military general..."

He turns away from her incriminating stare to face the wall. "What can I say Scully I'm angry" he knocks his forehead on the solid surface. "I'm angry because they won't listen to you"' it makes contact again. "Despite or you knowledge, professionalism and qualifications". I'm angry at your cancer" again. "That it's inoperable", again. "That I am here protecting that asshole, when I could be looking for a cure for it". Scully's hand intercepts his forehead before it makes contact with the wall. But he doesn't move it from her touch, it is the contact he has been longing for two weeks.

He leans his head deeper into her palm, to absorb more of her touch. "I'm angry that they took you away from me. That you don't remember...that we lost...all...which we had gained".

"I know your angry" she soothes, but there is no softness or motherly tone to her voice. "I'm angry too. But punching military generals in the face will help no one". She removes her hand and marches back up the stairs, leaving Mulder alone with his head to the concrete.

**PART III  
Outside the US Capitol Mall, DC  
19:34, Day 1**

Skinner had called Mulder back in on the case.

Mulder sat in his rental car, waiting. He was twenty six minutes early, and was taking the time to flick through some of the emails he had managed to print off at the Lone Gunmen's in the hours between. He crunched on his sun flower seeds.

A few minutes pass, he doesn't know why but something causes him to look up from his papers. Through the car windscreen, he spies Scully sitting on a nearby bench, body slouching over her knees in deep thought. Mulder beeps that horn, but she doesn't budge. He beeps the horn again to rhythm of, 'Max in the gas tank'. She looks up, and on realising its him, walks over to the driver side of the car. But he pops open the passenger side for her to slip in.

"How come your sitting out in the cold? Where is your rental?"

"Further down the street" she signals the direction with her head, while playing with the cuffs of her think winter trench coat. "Just wanted some fresh air...to think"

Mulder nods his head, in quiet understanding.

Scully's nose wrinkles, "What are you looking at?" her hand reaches for some of the papers in his grip, but he pulls them out of her reach.

"Nothing important, bills"

They sit in their combined silence, with the questions, thoughts they are longing to say to each other buzzing erratically through the air. After a few minutes, Mulder can't take it any longer. "Scully...wh-" he tries carefully.

Scully lets go of her coat cuffs. "Look Mulder, you may think this is the right time to talk about ..." her hands show that she is fighting to find the right words, but she can't. "...But it isn't Mulder"; she lets out a haughty laugh, "it really isn't".

Mulder nods, and stares at his palms. After a few moments. "I understand why you don't want to talk to me. Just as long as your talking to someone. Whether it is your mom... or Samy..."

Scully goes to open her mouth, but Skinner's knock on the window makes the partners jump out of their conversation.

"Agent Mulder" Skinner acknowledges him curtly when he steps out the car. "It is not my choice that you are back on this case, but General Blochs, because believe me if it was up to me, there would be another agent assigned to clear up your mess and you would be-"

"Sir, you don't have to remind me how much of a fuck up I am". Scully stomach sinks a little at his words.

"No Agent Mulder, I think I do" Skinner's voice rises, and parade goers, nearby agents stop and stare. "Just because General Bloch has let you back on the case, does not mean that you will not suffer the consequences. Suspension, and a night detainment at Fort Everton, so you can consider your actions" Skinner barks.

Scully opens her mouth in shock.  
Mulder twitches his lips. "Thank you, sir" he says walking off.

Skinner's eyes rest on Scully. She goes to move her mouth. "And don't you dare start apologising for him"

**PART IV  
Fort Evanston, MD  
23:13, Day 1**

"Knock knock" Scully says through the bars.

Mulder smiles on recognising the voice and gets up from the single cot. "What are you doing here? You should be at home"

"Just came to check out your new digs" she said resting a hand on the bars.

Mulder shrugs. "I can't really complain. I would have missed the Knicks game anyway".

Her face goes solemn and she stares at him through the cell bars.

He slowly walks closer towards her, until his hand is resting in the same place as hers.

She smiles.

"I've been thinking, and I think you should get a second opinion on those ova I found. We should never give up on miracles"

Scully's smile disappears and she rests her head lightly on the bars. "Mulder..."

"I know you don't want to talk to me about these things, but I just want you to know that I care"

Scully suddenly moves away from him and starts to pace the room. "I know you care Mulder. I know you care" she stops to glance at him before resuming her pace. "And I know that you are looking for answers, in your own way. But you need to learn to control your anger. I'm... I'm really worried about you-"

"Scully, I am the last person you should be worried about" Mulder laughs.

"I know. But I am. I worry about what your going to do" she swipes the air with her hand. "And who will be there for you, who will defend you, when ...when I am not here"

Mulder grips hold of the bars and leans his whole body against them, as if he thinks if he pushes hard enough, it will disappear. "Scully...Scully, you've got to stop talking like that. You have to believe Scully, believe that you will get better". He bows his head. "You have to at least try".

"I am trying Mulder" she bites back at him, annoyed. "Of course I'm trying, and I feel fine-"

"- My mother gave me some valuable information on the phone last night. She says when a woman says 'she's fine' it means the total opposite"

Scully laughs. "Well then I'm good. I'm going to the doctors once a week, I've gone vegetarian and trying to do it the natural way. I'm doing everything that I can do to defeat this, just like you"

"Its funny, since Allentown" Mulder spoke to the concrete floor, "all I've had going repeat in my head is what Deep Throat told me all those years ago, during our second case together. He said, 'don't get involved, don't get Agent Scully involved', he said that it would ruin us..." He voice trails off towards the end and he raises his head to meet her gaze, "but we're going to def-"

Scully's nosebleed cuts him short, and she quickly turns away to wipe it with her hankie.  
"Mulder, I should go, S- someone's waiting for me in the car"

"Samy?"

"Would it make you feel better if I said it wasn't?"

"Yeah" Mulder laughs. "It would make me feel good to not have to sit in this cell thinking how great he is. But, it would also make me happy to know that you are taking comfort in someone".

Scully goes to leave but stops. "Mulder, I just wanted you to know that it is not just you. I am not talking about... to anyone. That although Samy is back in my life, he is not moving back in with me,... or anything. And that I am not angry at you anymore. I've decided to not take things so seriously, and just ...enjoy my time". She finishes and then rushes out before he can say anything. But stays to watch him for a bit through the blacked out glass into his cell; he looks distraught, and she knows that for his sake, she has to carry on.

**PART V  
Sim Residence  
February 1997, Two years and six months**

"Do you think I made enough potato salad?" Mrs Sim asks her husband.

"Babe" he steals several pecks from her lips. "There's like enough food to feed the whole of China"

Mrs Sim flattens out her 1950s style pink floral dress - she also wears the matching shoes and head band, and gazes worryingly over the spread she has spent the last few hours making. "I guess. I just want to make sure everything is perfect for your parents, because they have just been so good to us this last year. I mean they at least need some sort of medal for their patience with me this last year. I don't know how we would have survived, or what I would do if they ever leave" she says, too sweetly.

"Well you know they love you"

"And I love them too. They're not just mom and dad to you, but to me too" she continues.

"Pookie. You're just the sweetest thing" he says leaning in and placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Hmmm. That's why you married me" she smiles, returning his kisses.

"You're perfect" he sings against her lips.

"You're more perfect"

"We're both perfect" he muses happily. "And happy?"

Mrs Sim playfully slapped his arm. "Bobbie. What is there to be unhappy about? I have a handsome, understanding, wonderful husband, who has stood by me through my worst days; a beautiful daughter" she signals to Emily who had been entertaining her grandparents with non stop laps of the pool for the past couple hours. Even without another two and a half year old for comparison, you could tell she was big for her age, and her muscles. She could continue doing laps in that pool for another five hours before she began to get tired, or even think about refuelling with some food and water. Mrs Sim looks mournfully over her daughter. But then remembers her husband and snaps out of it.

**_the update has taken long because I was watching the next block of episodes, from per manum to redux II. I thought that I would get to mulds and scully meeting Emily in a chapter or so but it is going to take more than a few I'm afraid. But I'm excited about the upcoming chapters and what they reveal, and I hope you all enjoy them :) sorry for any typos_**


	39. Dying for the Truth or the Lies

**_So I re-read chapter one and … English is my mother tongue, although I don't think you would have thought it by that chapter, so I edited it. I am sure chapters 2, 3, 4 … are the same, so I will have to make a note to look through them. So sorry, and thanks for sticking with it. Saying that you are probably going to find so many grammatical errors in this chapter. So, without further ado:_**

**Chapter 39: Dying for the Truth or Lies aka So to Speak  
Episode: Tempus Fugit; Max  
Spoilers: Tempus Fugit; Max**

**PART I  
Sim Residence  
Mid-March 1997  
Two years and six months.**

_February 20th, 19..._

Mrs Sim lifts up her pen from the page and reads over the entry before.

January 4th, 1997

_Emily and I are completely alone. Today, I went all the way to Los Angeles to use an Internet cafe, over fear that they or the woman who they claim to be 'Emily's mother' maybe searching for us, waiting for me to slip up. I ached for connection though, some kind of reminder that I was not alone, that there were other parents who were suffering as I was. Although, when I logged on, all the pages had been blocked, by no other than the FBI. I can't accept this life for my daughter, and it won't, but I know that I'll get nowhere with Robert's two blood hounds following my every move at home, not letting Emily out of their sight._

Mrs Sim puts pen to paper again.

_...97_

_It is 02:00, Robert is asleep, his parents are asleep, and finally I can relax, my body can relax, smiling all day really takes it toll. I have pretended ignorance, bit my lip, squirmed my hands behind my back for over a month and a half now, but it has been worth it. As today Robert's parents actually left me alone in the house with Emily for a couple of hours. I found myself this evening genuinely smiling in joyous exultation that maybe I have this round in the bag, maybe Robert's parents will finally move out and leave us alone._

**PART II  
Syndicate Meeting Place, NY  
Mid-March 1997  
Day 1, 16:45**

His presence encompassed the entire room. It had nothing to do with his body fat, or the size of the room. But that his very being portrayed importance; created an atmosphere of fearfulness and uncertainty. Sat behind a large, broad wooden desk, specially made from imported Champagne wood from Guyana, his heavy hand reached for the only item on the desk, an old fashioned black London telephone. His characteristic silky but gruff voice ordered to be patched through to a number. Used to the absolute minimal, its tone is even, precise and authorative, to the extent that even those older and in a higher position than him, rarely second guess his commands once he had uttered them. Which, although fallacious, is why he had adopted the codename, 'First Elder'.

He only has to wait three rings until the Smoking Man's home telephone is answered.  
"Our sources at the airport confirmed. Max Fenig just booked a last minute flight to DC. Flight 549, it left ten minutes ago"

_"Do you think he has the piece?" _

"That is a question we can afford to ask. Just do. I have alerted the military. No guess who he is planning on meeting".

_"Mulder"._

"You don't have to concern yourself with Mulder. Shadow Man will be there, like he has always been". His even voice raised slightly, so as to transgress authority over this matter.

_"What about when they do their separate investigations?"_

His fingers played against the solid wood in frustration. He had expected the Smoking Man's uncertainty, because unless he was in full control of a situation, he always was. The Smoking Man felt as though he had some kind of ownership over Mulder, his actions, and the ways in which they dealt with it; which in a way he did. The other members of the Syndicate trusted the Smoking Man's decisions; he however, did not.  
"I think it is common knowledge that no matter where she is, he will not be far. What concerns you is the aeronautical engineer. No doubt she is also going to DC. It is pertinent that her piece is also retrieved", he bites out each word of the last sentence.

He can hear the sound of cigarette smoke being blown through the telephone receiver, and he knows his order and authority are being weighed. Five or so years ago, he would not have even contemplated directing orders to this man. But times had changed; he, like the other founding members are getting weak and feeble in their old age; care is going into their decision making. For the Syndicate's prosperity to continue, in order to attain its original goals; a younger, more ruthless generation of leaders and members had, and were making their way through.  
Time passed through the telephone receiver. Another inhale and exhale of cigarette smoke.

_"Of course"._

**PART III  
The Headless Woman Pub, DC  
Same day, 20:34**

She sits, patiently waiting at their usual table. 'Usual table', the statement is still amusing, as it has only been so for a few weeks now; but more so because if anything, it is very unusual.

There were stares of course on the first evening. Whispers in the smoke-laden, low-lit silence when Fox Mulder, – A.K.A 'Mr Unsociable-Protocol Escaping-Spooky Mulder', opened the pub's door for his beautiful, but terribly tragic, brazen partner, Dana Scully.  
They say she is dying, terminal cancer. The audible gasps are always followed by sorrow-felt stares.  
'How long has she known?'  
'Is she having treatment?'  
'What about her amnesia?'  
'The pregnancy?'  
'As if she hasn't been through enough?'  
These were a handful of the many questions that buzzed on the lips of the regular FBI crowd that located there everyday after work; but no one would fathom the courage, could ever have the right to ask.

One came close. They had been great friends four years ago, during their training at the FBI academy. He had spied her walking down the first floor corridor towards the basement lift; she was unguarded. Rumour had it, her partner was on suspension for assaulting a military general, and was actually having to suffer the consequences for his actions.  
He tapped her on the shoulder; but the woman who turned to greet him was not the vivacious young girl he remembered. She had been replaced. Her grey skirt suit had flowed into her complexion, her eyes, her very being was grey. Her face etched with pain, stress, hopelessness.  
He mumbled an excuse, and carried on his way. He didn't feel guilty; from her reaction, he doubted she remembered who he was anyway.

_But why now?_  
Why all of a sudden expose themselves to prying ears and eyes; seated right in the middle of the bar, for all to see. Their light touches, do not go amiss; shy smiles, detected; the rouge of her cheeks; how her whole being becomes alight when he is sat across from her, melting her frost away. All watched.

His gaze is constantly on her too, although she is unaware of it. When her attention is turned away from him, his is on high alert, drinking her in. It stares at her from the bar, as he waits for their drinks; it lingers when her focus is on something or someone else; it follows her to the bathroom, and is there waiting when she emerges out from it. It smiles when her girly giggle escapes her throat, because he has said or done something to make her laugh. His ears turn a shade of crimson, in delight over the music of her laugh. Indeed we all do, and like him, are not immune to its infectiousness.

…

She now sags slightly in her bar seat, looking at her wrist watch; and my heart sinks over her displeasement. They haven't met here for about a week now; I can only guess that she thinks he has maybe stood her up, and I more than anyone want to go cheer her up. But I know she has no need to be disheartened, he will be here soon, and that is why I don't move from where I am seated.

All of a sudden, her body straightens, perking up; and I turn my body to set my eyes on the pub's door. I guessed as much. Mulder waltzes in, grinning like he a multi-billionaire who has just struck gold again, and he has; she is his, and so he is. I turn my gaze back to her and she is… sh…, my stomach turns sour over the expression on her face; knowing and hating the fact that I would never elicit that wondrous reaction from her. I glumly retract my gaze back onto the double shot of whisky sitting in front of me.

…

Two hours have passed. Two hours, and they have been completely absorbed in the others attention. Not a side glance to something or someone else, or to take in the other people in the bar. But now is not the time to be bitter. A pink sugary dome with an erect sparkler poking on top of it, makes its way towards their table. This is the reason why I am still here.  
I see that she sees it making its way towards her, but it is not until it is being placed in front of her, and we all start singing, does she realise what he has done. She eyes him incredulously, in ominous affection; ignoring the other fifteen or more people around her, also singing for her, me for one.

When we finish singing, I watch them chat animatedly, wishing I was him. She failed to recognise, or even have the curtesy to thank the others around her, me for one; because he is the blinding sun in the centre of her universe. I watch him hand her a gift; I have one for her too in my pocket. I wonder if I will have a chance to give it to her.

I frown when a woman interrupts my vision. I can tell by their expressions that they don't know who she is, and I for one would like to know her name; this woman who just walked up to this couple unabashed at breaking their moment. Whoever she is, he looks displeased, but she looks genuinely intrigued, as they follow behind her, out into the unknown night.

**PART IV  
J EdgarHooverBuilding  
23:58**

Scully closes the cab door, and waves goodbye to its passenger. Mulder stands aback, with his hands in his trench coat pockets, reserved, undecided; a look of slight displeasement over what has just transgressed.

"So…" Scully asks, turning her attention on him when the cab is no longer in sight.

Mulder shrugs and walks languidly down the pavement away from her.

"Mulder?" she questions, crossing her arms because of the cold, but also in preparation for the 'discussion' she knows they are about to start.

"Sculleee" he retorts, clearly wanting whatever she has to say to him to be dropped. But slows his decent nonetheless, until he is just shifting on the spot; however, still averting her gaze.

"Where are you going?" She almost laughs out.

"Back to the bar to continue our celebration of your birthday", he asks annoyed at the suggestion that they would be doing anything else.

"My birthday was three weeks ago Mulder. You spent it in military confinement".

"I know Sculleee", he childishly kicks the pavement with his shoe; and she smiles in fondment over this action.  
Jogging over to where he is standing, she loops her arm through his, and waits for him to make eye contact with her.  
"It can wait. Let the local authorities deal with it" he pleads, when he finally rests his eyes on hers.

"No Mulder, it can't. We have to find out what happened to that plane. I know if that was my loved one on that flight, and I asked for help, I would want them to start looking ASAP"

He purses his lips. Of course she is right.  
Scully doesn't think it, but she knows how to make Mulder see right, eventually. Although in her mind, not enough; a personal wish is for her to have more pull and persuasion over his actions, his thoughts, his impulses.  
She feels liquid trickle out of her nose. They have been happening so often that it no longer surprises her. Her spare hand deftly reaches into her trench coat pocket and pulls out a ready handkerchief to wipe away the blood.

**PART V  
FBIBuilding  
Northville, NY  
Day 2, 4:02**

They slipped into the back of the crowded, heavily heated conference room. Scully thought it was so they could eavesdrop undetected, seeing as Mulder was still technically on suspension for giving that military general a nose bleed. She thought the security guard had let them through with the authority of just her badge.

_'What the hell is this?'  
_The scratchy sound of the tape blaring the flight recording, alerts Scully's attention back on the case that she insisted to Mulder they take.

'_Five-four-nine, do you copy?'_

_'We've got something – interception – oh my god! May Day! May Day'_

There is more scratchiness, ear aching beeps from malfunctioning machinery, the sheer panic of the situation transgresses loudly over the airways. All eyes in the room are focussed on the tape player; throats gulp, as a communal moment is taken to regard the fear and courage that must have gone through the cabin crew and passengers' minds during their fast decent to death.

_'We've –"  
_The tape stops.

"O.K" office in charge, Miller breaks the short silence that follows, "we have a F.A.A, leaving in an hour", he orders. As if on queue, chairs are scrapped, orders, questions, chatter starts to buzz as everyone goes to make a move.

"Excuse me sir-", Mulder's voice speaks above the commotion, and Scully's head flies in his direction, along with every other one in the room.

Silence falls, Mulder has everyone's' full attention.  
_Weren't we supposed to be going undetected? _Scully wondered.

"…I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder with the F.B.I. Is there suspicion that flight five-four-nine may have been forced down?"

"Forced down?" Millar asked the question on everyone's minds – including his partner.

_Where has this come from? _Scully had spent a two and a half car journey here together where he failed to mention this suspicions – with Mulder on suspension, their plane ticket would have been from their own pocket, besides Scully wasn't the biggest fan of plane journeys.

"Uh, you can clearly hear the pilot say 'intercept'" Mulder points out.

Like a tennis match, the crowds eyes moved from Mulder's, back to Millar's.  
"We have no data to support that…unless you have something".

"No…" Mulder falters, he thought he had put this behind him. "…but there was a passenger on the plane, who is a well known alien abductee to our government". It didn't come out with as much conviction as he hoped, because really there wasn't. He ignores the various chuckle of people, and Scully, who he can see start to wilt in his peripheral. Well, he had said it now.

"An alien abductee?" Millar announces Mulder's words again slowly, as if to re-emphasise to the room the absurdity of his claim.

"A man named Max Fenig, a multiple abduction victim, what's known as a repeater".

The laughs get louder. Scully feels her body betray her heart and recline into the wall. Her head bows in shame over her association. Her mind uncharacteristically wills the wall to swallow her up - even though it was far to logical to believe it to actually happen. Her heart holds on though. Even though she herself doesn't believe it; she has to pretend support, against the other sea of eyes that were staring in mockery.

"Mulder, your names Mulder?" Miller asks in the background of Scully's thought process. She can almost see the speech bubbles on top of their heads, 'has this man just escaped from a mental institution?'  
That unwelcome feeling, more toxic then dread, washes over her again, when her mind replays what has almost become a mantra: _'who will stand with him, when I cannot'_.

"Well Agent Mulder. Let me tell you something. I've been doing this four eighteen years, and thought that I had heard everything". This time Miller's voice interrupts her thoughts. She watches under heavy eyes, the mumble as the crowd grunts in agreement, before deciding they have heard enough, and start to file out; shooting both herself as well as Mulder odd stares on their way out.

Someone, obviously one who notices her own distress over Mulder's accusation, gives her a sympathetic smile; she quickly moves her concentration to the floor, feeling slightly traitorous, ashamed at how easy she was to read. She keeps her head down until it is only the two of them left.  
"Way to make a girl feel special on her birthday".  
Mulder shrugs sheepishly.  
"Care to fill me in?"

He lets out a deep sigh, looks up at the ceiling before focussing his gaze on her. "I called Frohike while we made that bathroom pit stop. It had been bugging me, why his sister came to ask our help specifically…" he trails off.

"And" she urges, seeing that he was clearly having difficulty over what he wanted to say.

"Max had been in contact with me for three months – or at least trying to".

"What you never got his messages? …Or you never replied?"

Mulder shakes his head dismally.

"Why?"

Mulder shifts his focus from Scully and stares at the wall behind her.

She searches his stare for a few seconds, before taking a heavy gulp. "I think I know why" she whispers.

Mulder rests his eyes back on Scully's. They both sigh.

"The Gunmen said there was something that he urgently needed me to see-"

"The Gunmen? How do they fit into this?"

"They have been monitoring my work mail" he mumbles, shifting his gaze to the floor. He couldn't look at her, it felt that he was revealing another dark lie that he had hidden from her. "…I guess after three months of hearing nothing from my end, he decided to take the situation into his own hands, and take a flight to see me".

Scully swallows loudly, not really having the energy to even start to address her feelings over this revelation, what he was implying.  
"Well what do you think he wanted to share with you, that you think may have been worth the lives of those passengers?" she asks worriedly.

"I don't know Scully" he says earnestly. "But I'm going to find out" and heads for the exit door.

"But Mulder" she protests. "You're on suspension. You have no badge, no gun".

He smiles sheepishly again. "I have you, and…" he reaches into his trench coat breast pocket, "…this". He pulls out a fake F.B.I badge.

Scully roles her eyes.

"Isn't it great?" he asks before she can scold him. "Cost me $20, Frohike got it, three for two from China"

There was a sheer boyish smile on Mulder's face, that couldn't help the twitch of a smile that betrayed her lips, before going very stern. "Mulder" her whole upper body sighs. She looks up at him worriedly, tears almost threaten to form. He sees this and his smile fades. She crosses her arms to protect her feelings from him and the outside world.  
"Mulder…, where were you this past week?" She asks the question that has been playing on her lips from the moment she met him in the bar, almost nine hours ago.

He merely raises both eyebrows at her, still for a while before walking away. Leaving her to gather and hide her personal feelings, and become his professional, rational work partner.

**PART VI  
Paradise Motel, NY  
19:02, Day 2**

_Sleep_, Scully thinks. Relieved that after thirty-six hours of dead-end investigating, head-to-head warring with Mulder-Paranoia, trashed hotel rooms, missing witnesses, endless uncomfortable hours cramped in the rental car. That now, she can finally recuperate her body, rest her heavy laden eyes, her throbbing over-worked brain, and aching heart.

Dressed for sleep. She lets out a sharp cry when she hears her motel room phone ring.  
She considers ignoring it.  
"Scully" she answers wearily.

"Hey Scully it's me", Mulder's voice chirps across the line. He clearly is not suffering the same way she is over undernourished sleep. "I, I just realised, the voice of the air traffic controller, I have heard it before".

Scully's voice hitches in her throat; she has no reserved energy for this. "Mulder" she sighs, "we have been awake for thirty-six hours".

"No, I know, I know, I know…"

Scully rolls her eyes.

"I know, but can you please, just come over and listen to this? Please".

Outside, she is still grumbling as she approaches his motel door. Her exhausted heavy hands clumsily work to knot her towled dressing gown.  
Approaching the corner that separated their two rooms, unfamiliar hands attack her body.  
She wants to call Mulder for help, but her gasp is muffled by the large hand that enclosed it.  
Her hands restrained.  
Her senses were back on high alert.

"Don't scream" the voice said. Scully frowns, recognising it. "Just listen to me. I'm the man that caused the plane crash"

…

Scully stands arms crossed in the background with a scowl on her face. She's let Frish into Mulder's motel room but that doesn't mean that she trusts him, or believes a word that is coming out of his mouth.  
_Why all the conspiracy? _She cries aloud to herself.  
Why can't it just be a normal, no-strings-attached-none government-conspiracy-sabotage plane crash? She feels a wave of faintness flow through her, and for a moment she thinks she actually might faint.

"Scully". Mulder's voice brings her back to reality.  
He acknowledges her heavy laden eyes, her tightly wrapped arms obviously keeping her body up, "…why don't you get some sleep, and leave me to sort this out?"

"No" she says bluntly. "I'm not leaving you by yourself", she continues, closing their distance; Frish forgotten.

"I'm a big boy Scully", Mulder reasons, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Call me paranoid then".

"What is wrong with you?" Mulder laughs. "You've been acting strange this whole case".

Frish definitely forgotten. "Other than obvious Mulder, I'm fine!" She seethes raising her voice, but then sees the flash of pain cross his tired eyes, and instantly feels guilty about her outburst. They don't speak about her cancer, their untimely ticking bomb. Instead they just waltz around it.  
Scully focuses her attention on the thin tan carpet. "I'm just anxious to get to the bottom of this case, without you throwing your name and self to the dogs" she consoles.

"You've never seemed to mind before".

"Well maybe I care more now" she whispers; her eyes dancing around his gaze over the fear that she has said too much. But she's said it now, and takes the opportunity to revisit her earlier worry. "Where were you-", she stops, at the all too familiar feeling of blood escaping her nose. Mulder catches it with his trigger finger before it can reach her top lip. He bulges his eyes at her, as if it has proven some sort of ongoing point - she shouldn't be here but in a hospital - but digs into his trouser pocket instead, to pull out his pre-emptive handkerchief, already stained with her blood.

Her gaze again dances awkwardly around his. She knows Mulder's feelings towards her working while she is ill…or pregnant, but appreciates that he tries to respect her decisions. Anger swells in her, and it seems from nowhere, and she is not sure who or what it is directed at; maybe multiple of things. The bottom line is, it was her decision to follow up on this case. Breaking contact from him, she snatches his set of rental keys from the cheaply-made wooden motel table.  
"I'm going with you Mulder".

…

They eventually agree that the next best step is to inform Miller of their new found revelation and ally. Frish, he would of course need witness protection; although she didn't voice it, Scully was hesitant as to how much protection the FBI could hold against the military, if he was being honest about them being responsible for the sabotage. However enroute, the sound of Mulder drumming his fingers lightly on the steering wheel is a steady tempo for her thought process; she knows he is trying to get her attention, but doesn't move her eyes from the dark nothingness that flys past her passenger window.

"Scully…", he waits for her to make some kind of sign that she is listening to his next words. The slight tilt of her head, was all the acknowledgement he was going to get. "…I have to get to the bottom of this. My contact card was in his side pocket, stained with smudges of his blood".

Scully uncomfortably wraps her arms around her chest, to warm the chill that spread through her; his felt guilt seeping into her own.  
"I just don't want you to 'jump the wagon', so to speak on this case. For your 'theories' to override the facts of the case-"

"-There are no facts to this case, Scully" he says tersely, both knowing his anger is not explicitly directed at her. "They've all been swept under the rug, so to speak".

"I thought all this had been put behind us…you…"

"It was. But this case… the lost nine minutes, there are too many similarities to suggest that it is more than a coincidence". He moves his gaze and trains it on her, taking in her curled form, sunk as far into the corner of the passenger seat as possible, arms resting protectively around her, concentrating hard on the scenery.  
"You believed me then, why not now".

She snorts smiling.  
He smiles too. It was the reaction, he was hoping for; and his smile lingers on her for a while.

"I was young and naive" she mumbles in fondment; but doesn't tear herself from the tempting scenery outside her window of normality, even if at the moment it is just a dimly lighted black. "I should have never got into your bed".  
Her statement hangs in the air between them until the sound of a throat clears from behind. The partners turn simultaneously, catching the others eye in the process, and lock their eyes on to the man they had forgotten was in the back of the car.

"So to speak", Mulder adds.

**PART VII  
The Headless Woman Pub, DC  
21:35**

Friday 21:35, the weekend started three hours and thirty five minutes ago. There is the regular loud buzz of rowdiness and excitement as colleagues struggle to hear colleagues' plans for the weekends. Not that it matters. They will probably spend half of Saturday nursing off their hangover; about five minutes getting angry at themselves for letting it get so late in the day without doing anything. Then they will drag themselves out for a long walk to make themselves feel better; stop off at a diner on the way back to have a hefty refuelling session, and before they know it, it is the evening again, and they will go out to their local bar and do the same thing again.

At least that is normally how my weekend pans out. The occasional late Sunday lunch at my parents in Chester, Virginia. I'm headed there this weekend and I have lost track of the amount of times I have gone to sleep the night before, dreaming that when I wake up, Dana, would be lying in my bed beside me; a homemade key lime pie waiting on my kitchen counter as our contribution to lunch. I for one can sing her skills in baking. I had once told her key lime pie was my favourite dessert, so she baked one especially for me a week later for my birthday. It was a sunny hot July day, and I had convinced her to share a slice with me in a nearby park during our lunch break. Light brown freckles speckled her face; her hair was a pumpkin orange in the sunshine, and her eyes were a teal blue. I made her giggle with my stories, exposing to me her pearl white teeth, her beautiful smile lines, and the sweet scent of her perfume when she leaned in close to wipe off some cream from the tip of my nose. I savour that day, like I savour that key lime pie. The memory frozen in time like the piece of that pie that still remains frozen in my refrigerator.

I am about to order my fourth celebratory shot of whisky when suddenly, the sweet aroma of her perfume fills my nostrils. I turn to find her standing next me. It takes a while for me to compose, assuring myself that it is actually her. She hasn't noticed me. There is a combination of tiredness and annoyance in her expression, I look over her quickly, and if I am not mistaken, she is in the same clothes she was in yesterday.

"Hey birthday girl". I alert her attention and she smiles warmly at me, no smile lines though. Her forlorn gaze fixes on me, and although it doesn't move, I can tell she is searching, as if she is trying to suss something deeply troubling. I am shocked when I see them start to water. Maybe it is regret?

"Agent Pendrell"

I hate the formality of my name on her lips, when did I stop being Neil to her?  
"Hey bartender?" Pulling my gaze from her. "Get me two birthday girl drinks".

"No" she starts to protest, the watery forlorn gaze has gone. She has managed to compose herself in those few seconds.

"No, really it's on me".

She laughs, and girly look of shyness and embarrassment flutters across her face. "No. Really I can't" and she looks behind her.

I expect to see Mulder, but instead I see a man in military uniform? And I am intrigued to find out who he is. _A brother maybe?_ No, he looks nothing like her. "You're not getting away that easily. Bartender, make that three birthday girl drinks"

She flashes me another shy/embarrassed smile and makes her way back to her companion.

I walk over with all three drinks. I am being careful not to spill them in my drunken state, but there is some sort of loud commotion going on in my foreground, and it distracts me. In my background, I can hear one of the drinks spilling onto the floor, but it is not even insignificant because there is a man with a gun pointed at my Dana. The drinks drop from my hand and they probably make a loud crash as they hit the ground, as I pull out my gun, shielding her from the offensive weapon.

It fires.

The feeling is not how I imagined it to be.

I acknowledge pain, but do not feel it, as I slip out of myself and become an outside to my body.

Her beautiful face, stained by tears and fear hovers over me, and I vaguely acknowledge her doing something to my chest.

I acknowledge her mouth moving but I do not hear a sound, or feel her breath, which is odd because she is so close.

I acknowledge happiness over her care for me, but my body will not allow me to bathe in the warmth of this feeling.

…

Scully stares momentarily at her own blood on her tissue, but she is distracted by EMT lifting up Pendrell's semi-conscious body. _They got here is good time, he is breathing OK through his oxygen mask, he is going to be OK_, she tells herself and looks to search for her witness.  
"When you talked to your girlfriend, what did you say?" she didn't mean it to sound so harsh and incriminating, but it was. If this was his fault… "Did you tell her you were in DC".

"No" Frish answers, and he seems genuine.

Scully reels herself back in, _no contact while under protection_. Pendrell had suffered because of her momentary weakness when he asked if he could assure someone that he was OK, because if someone she cared about suddenly went missing, she would go crazy not knowing where they were. She would be grateful that someone had allowed him a phone call.

"Then there is someone on the inside". The loud clatter of the wheels of Pendrell's stretcher make her turn onto the un-welcomed eyes of Skinner.

_Fuck_, she thinks and hurriedly walks over. Her mind going a hundred miles an hour into brick walls as she thinks how she is going to explain this to him.

"What happened, who shot Agent Pendrell?" he demanded.

"I don't know" she said meekly, and she felt angry at herself for sounding so weak, especially when Skinner's eyes softened in agreement that, yes, she was weak.

"I got a call about a federal witness being transferred".

"Sergeant Frish" she indicated behind her, "was the intended target".

Skinner nods. "The order has been countermanded".

Scully frowns. "By who?"

"Louis Frish is being put under military arrest, by order of the office of the Joint Chief of Staff", her mouth moved to protest. "…There is also one for Agent Mulder", that closed it.

"For what?" she snaps.

"Charges with interfering in a military investigation of a commercial plane crash".

"What's their story?" she snaps again.

Skinner regards Scully's fight for moment, there is fire, but it doesn't completely hide her exhaustion and weariness.  
"Agent Scully…" he sighs looking down; his expression hardens when he sees the bloodied tissue in her fist. Scully notices this and looks away, but Skinner brings up her balled hand so it is the centre of their attention. But she can't look him in the eye, he is making her feel like a child again, being reprimanded by her father for doing something that he thinks she has done wrong. And because of this simple gesture, she knows that they way she views their relationship is, and will forever be changed. She has found her sort of father figure to prove, disobey, yet at the same time praise.

_Prove_. "I'm fine".

"I suggest that you go to the hospital".

_Disobey_.

**PART VIII  
Voh Drehle Airforce, NY  
Day 3, 06:20**

With her new found relationship with Skinner, of course Scully's next actions were not to comply but to disobey, and through disobeying, prove. So she had driven through the night. She had not even bothered to shower or to change her clothes. She had arrived where Miller had told her where they were keeping Mulder at 03:45, but had to wait until the morning for them to release him.

"Was it worth it?" She asked, annoyed, that she had travelled all this way to release him and not so much of a 'thank-you', had escaped his lips. She had been having these moments more often, and could feel herself slipping back into this role with Mulder that she had forgotten she didn't like playing.

"Worth what?"

_Still clueless_. "Another night in military confinement" she bit out the words, playing angrily with her finger nails in order to keep her emotions at bay.

Mulder lets out a deep breath in contemplation of her words, his hands emptying his work clothes from his military rucksack. He pops open the buttons of his military khaki green detentionary shirt, and Scully turns her back on him to give him privacy.  
"I saw…Scully, I s…saw" he pauses his speech, _an underwater alien space ship_. Mulder laughs, reaching to unbuckle his belt.  
"Scully, you don't want to know what I saw".

Scully turns, thinking that Mulder has finished dressing. He hasn't and she catches sight of a scar across his right upper thigh, not fresh, by the way that it has healed, definitely received in the last week or so. She doesn't know how far up it goes as it is hidden by his grey boxer shorts; but it looks angry, red and painful; the initial cut must have been deep. His scar becomes the focus of her attention and quite forgetting herself, she rushes to kneel in front of him.

"Scully?" Mulder uncomfortably shifts over her close proximity to his groin area.

She can't speak, but traces his scar with her finger nail in answer instead.

Mulder swallows a lump. A guilty expression spreads over his face.  
"Well as you can see, I got stitched up good", he says letting out a small laugh, in an effort to try and lift the damp atmosphere that has suddenly fallen across them.

Scully bites back tears, annoyed, again, that she hadn't known, wasn't told. _Who stitched him up? What hospital? Did he need blood? Had he been conscious? How long did it take them to find out his rare blood type? _Questions raced across her mind.  
Finally, she withdraws and nods unconvinced. When she makes eye contact with him, her expression is hard.  
"Where have you been this past week?" she asks sternly.

"I don't know what you ar-"

"Don't!" she shakes away her anger. "Don't avert the question, or feed me lies. The truth".

"You don't want to know where I was" he says simply, finishing getting ready.

"Yes I do" she says, placing herself between him and the exit.

They stand in tense silence for a few minutes, until Mulder gives in. He drags out a long annoyed breath, but Scully doesn't flinch.

He draws out another sigh. "You remember when my mum had her stroke" he angrily plays with the rental keys in his pocket, refusing to make eye contact with her.

Scully nods but doesn't speak.

Mulder waits a few seconds before he continues. "Well it took me so long to get to you because…because" he flits his eyes on her before averting them again. "Because, I found my sister, or at least a child clone of my sister – but, but that doesn't matter because I lost her, and last week, I thought that I had found her again".  
He looks up to gauge her reaction. "Don't worry I wasn't alone" he assures, reading her thoughts, and he can see some tension lift from her expression. "The Gunmen were with me, but…" he trails of chuckling, "we got ran out, we weren't exactly somewhere we were supposed to be…". His smile falls on hers but then disappears when he realises that she is not, her eyes narrow at him. "I was lucky to come out with just a scar", they narrow even more, surprisingly, that doesn't make her feel any better. "You don't have to worry about me Scully-"

"Don't I?" and they are silent again for another few minutes. "I don't know Mulder", she says finally. "What is all this for? What are all these people dying for?" _What am I dying for? _She blinks back tears.

"Scully" Mulder's voice strains in concern, and he closes the distance between them. He places a firm hand over her left shoulder, and she bows her head as she lets her few tears fall to the ground, they echo as they hit.

"Mulder, Agent Pendrell is dead".

Mulder's face instantly saddens and he squeezes pressure on her shoulder in added comfort, he knew they were friends, one of the few friends that she still had in the bureau. "How?"

"Shot in an attempt on Sergent Frish back in DC"

Mulder's eyes widen, _that could have been Scully. _

As if reading his thoughts. "He saved Frish's life, maybe mine too" she mumbles, and starts to move towards the exit.

"Wait, wait. Scully wait".

"Is it for the truth or the lies?" she asks.

"What?" he asks confused.

"All these deaths…" she swipes her hand angrily through the air.

"It's got to be for the truth".

Scully's body lets out a sigh. "I hope so", she mumbles, and once again they stand in quite contemplation.

Scully lets in a deep breath, pulling in all her personal emotions in with it. When she breathes out, she is back to being professional again. "So, what now?" she asks.

"What?" Mulder asks distractedly, still dwelling over what he has just learned. He inhales and exhales as Scully does.  
"Max. Max has got to be the key to all of this. We should maybe visit his home…have you managed to find anything about his sister's whereabouts?"

"Yes, actually" a small smile plays on her lips. "But with an interesting twist"

"Oh yeah" Mulder asks, glad to be back on the comforting subject of work.

"Sharon Graffia, is not Max Fenig's sister. She is an ex-governmental aeronautic engineer who consulted with Max over his theories of the fantastic". She let a dramatic pause hang in the air. "That was ten months ago. She's a highly disturbed woman, Mulder-".

"But still, our only link to Max. Do you know where she is?"

A smile plays on her lips. "In a mental institution".

The smile transgresses to his lips too. He removes his hand from her shoulder and moves to the exit. "Well I would go with you, but I am afraid they would lock me up", he lies, despite their being some truth in his words. He had a string of missed calls from the Gunmen - they may have a new lead on the origins Scully's cancer.

"Me too".

**PART IX  
Max's trailer  
Barnes Corners, NY  
Day 4, 19:20**

_Praise_. That is what Scully now feels towards Skinner. The way that he had pulled all the stops out earlier at WashingtonNationalAirport, when she thought that Mulder's life was in danger, with the momentary threat of another plane crash. Mulder insists it was because of the radioactive contents he was carrying; he insists that he lost nine minutes of his plane journey; he insists that the unregistered man that was supposedly sitting next to him, stole the contents and escaped an in flight plane. He insists, and its not a question of whether Scully does or does not believe him, but like he said before, there are no facts to this case. Nothing can be proved, so it is just swept on the carpet, so to speak.

"Is your head OK?" Scully asks, turning her attention away for black nothingness flying in front of the windscreen. She really should be paying better attention on the actual road and other traffic, seeing as she did volunteer to drive, and stop getting lost in her thoughts.

"Yeah, it's fine now" Mulder says bringing his palm to his head. "But it really fucking hurt earlier".

She hums, and removes his palm and replaces it with her own. "It's odd for you to react in such a way, but it is most likely because of the radiation that was in whatever you were carrying".

"An extra terrestrial rock"

Scully rolls her eyes at his imagination.

"I'm serious, it made me hear things, but at the same time I couldn't hear. It was like I was listening to things that I wasn't supposed to be listening to". He laughs when he sees the incredulous look she is giving him. "You think I'm crazy".

"No more than normal" she quips, and replaces her hand back on the steering wheel. She smiles at Mulder putting on Max's NICAP hat on. "You know Mulder, I think Max and you are kindred soles" she muses.

"Yeah" Mulder hummed. "Too bad I didn't actually get to meet him".

"You know it wasn't your fault, what happened to Max".

Mulder merely hums again in response. "Yeah well, I know one thing for sure, I can't subtract my attention from the X-Files like I have been doing, people get hurt. All those deaths on the plane could have been avoided".

"You don't know that, Mulder"

"No, no one knows how far the ripples of our actions go".

Silence fills the car.

"Hey, so would that make you Sharon to my Max".

Scully snorts. "I hope not, she ended up in a mental institution. God, I hope this is not some kind of foreshadowing".

"Agent Scully, I do believe that logical brain of yours just entertained ideas of the fantastic".

"I did not" she pouted, "but I know one thing for sure…"

"What's that?"

"I'm never having you celebrate my birthday with me again".

"We have all year to celebrate your birthday. Your final year before the big 3-"

"Don't!"

**PART X**  
**J EdgarHooverBuilding car park  
Day 4, 23:05**

I smile played on his lips, as he watched the man place himself in the passenger seat beside him.  
"Mr Skinner, to what do I owe this pleasure" he says through puffs of Morley cigarette smoke.

"I wish to make a deal".

"Well you have come to the right man. What kind of deal?"

"Agent Dana Scully, I know that you can help her fight whatever it is invading her body".

"Cancer? There is no cure. Surely an educated man like yourself should know that" he extinguishes one only to light another instantly.

"You're right, I am an educated man, one who has in the past worked very close to you and knows your bull shit lies" Skinner says forcefully.

CSM lets out a sinister chuckle. "You have her blood on your hands Mr Skinner, and you wish for them to be clean. After all, you helped recruit her, you helped feed her lies that worked against her".

"You want to talk about bloody hands, why look farther than your own" he spat out through gritted teeth.

"Why? Why, now do you wish to help her?"

"Because I have a responsibility to the agents who work for me. And I am tired of watching people like yourself and Mulder use her as if she is a pawn in your games".

CSM smiles greatly at his words and actually extinguishers his cigarette although not finished, and without immediately lighting another. "You think Mulder also treats her like a pawn, that is very…interesting" he delights, smiling like the Cheshire cat.

"Enough. Am I wasting my time here or not?"

CSM reaches in his breast pocket for another Morley. "Like I said. You have come to the right man. But, it will cost you".

"I expected nothing less from a man like yourself".

**_I trawled through writing these episodes because there is really only one thing to be taken from this chapter which is that the same rock that Max had is the same type rock that sends Mulder crazy in S7 – literally the only reason I wrote in these episodes. Oh and that Skinner made a deal with the Smoking Man. This is actually the longest chapter I have ever written, almost 8k+ words. Anyway updates of the next few chapters should be quicker as they will hopefully be a lot shorter._**


	40. The Polite Smile from Room 401

_**In the hope that one day it can be cured, but until then spend every moment enjoying life with people you love.**_

**Chapter 40: The Polite Smile from Room 401  
Spoilers: Zero Sum**

**PART I  
Sim Residence  
End of April, 1997  
Two years and eight months**

Watching from deck chair, she uses her novel as a guise for her eyes true captivation. Her husband has been distracted by a phone call for the last ten minutes, and is treading water in the shallow end of the pool. Her estranged daughter has been underwater for the last three minutes.  
Mrs Sim's fingernails claw deeply into her skin as another minute passes. _He has to realise soon_, she thinks. It's vital that he sets off the alarm.

"Honey?..." there is concern in his voice.

Her fingernails release its hold briefly in her relief. She pokes her head higher up from the book; he is still has the cell phone in hand, but despite his sunglasses and the distance from where she is sitting, his shock is easily readable.

"How long has Emily been under water?" horror laced in his voice.

"I don't know honey", her stomach turning inside out at her lie, she has to fight a dry heave.

"Fuck" he shouts, his phone lost to the waters, as he dives in.

Mrs Sim pays the same attention to her book, and rushes to the pool. Her husband surfaces, and her entire body pales, going cold at the lack of sound. She fears the worst.

"She's fine, she's fine" he repeats, and Mrs Sim clumsily falls into the pool to confirm her husband's mantra. She is indeed fine. Mrs Sim had expected Emily to be ok, but is relieved nonetheless.

"She's fine?" her husband's question brings her attention, and she takes in his dishevelled, disbelieved face. "Why is she fine?" he loosens her grip slightly on the nonchalant child, who makes an effort to swim away. He lets her go, watching her resume laps. "  
She shouldn't be fine, she should be, be, be, she shouldn't be fine" he stares on, his voice getting quieter.  
He jumps at his wife's touch.

"I know honey. That's what I have been trying to tell you".

**PART II  
Trinity Hospital, DC  
End of April, 1997  
Tuesday, Room 401**

**08:20**

_Father._

"Sir?" she questions in a polite tone, offering a polite smile because it isn't the face she wants to see. Self-conscious, she shifts her weight upright; tugs on the sleeves of her flimsy pale blue hospital gown, giving it the once over to see how see through it is, before resting her worrying hands in her lap. A sudden flash of panic runs through her over thoughts of why he might be here…  
"Mulder", her voice hitches in her throat.

Skinner's mouth purses into a straight line, his eyebrows narrow.  
"Agent Mulder is fine Agent Scully" he assures her, tersely, a hint of exasperation in his voice.  
_Would Agent Mulder always be at the forefront of her worries?  
_"You should be more concerned for your own health and safety".

'Reprimanded' would have been too strong of a word, but she didn't like being told what to do, or how to feel; especially by him, outside of work, looking as small and vulnerable as she knew she did in her hospital bed. Scully shifts her weight again, so that she is more erect against the pillow, in effort to appear more in control of her abstruse yet banal situation.  
"I'm fine" she retorts in the same stern voice that he had addressed her in. "What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

Her eyes and ears get distracted by the movement and sound of his hand thumbing the perimeter of the large brown envelope he is holding. The noise fills the silent room; he seems hesitant to speak.

"Agent Mulder told me you were here…for some tests…something about your tumour metastasising?"

At first she is angered at Mulder for discussing her situation so freely, but she doesn't voice it, only allowing the slight wince of an eye and the mere twitch of her lips.

They resume silence and Skinner's face falls over the realisation that, she _still _does not trust him. After all his years as her supervisor, the amount of times he has gone against protocol and his better judgement, for her.  
_Wasn't it just last month I shut down an airport upon her request, no questions asked? And now, an unknown man's blood is on my hands, for her_… Skinner frowns at the thought, _she doesn't know that, have to know it, or ever will_. _But there is one thing I do know, that's Mulder's voice speaking through her. _His face hardens, _there is truth in what they say, her vision is tunnelled, ending with Mulder; everything and everyone else are just her blind spots._ He grimaces over this thought, his hands grasp a tighter hold on the oversized envelope, more determined, before handing it to her; afraid if he speaks, his words would come out belligerent.

Scully stares on, disregarding.  
"What is this?" She finally asks, still refusing to regard whatever it is enclosed until she is wiser.

"Just open it Agent Scully" Skinner says through gritted teeth.

But on that instruction, she does the direct opposite; withdrawing her body as far away from him as possible, wrapping her arms in a tight cross over her chest. He has no right to be here, in _her_ hospital room, demanding things of her that he has no right to. There are not many things she has been able to be in control of the last couple of months, but like hell this will be one of them.

Skinner sighs audibly and rips the envelope open, dishevelledly splaying its contents on her lap.

By the unapparent change in pressure and the sound of its rustles, she surmises that whatever it is cannot be anything more than a few sheets of paper, but she refuses to move her stern gaze off of him to confirm her assumption. _He_ has to tell her himself.

Time becomes stuck in their deadlock.

Skinner sighs again, giving in. "It's a job promotion".

She frowns, moving her gaze to the printed leaves, picking out a few of the typed words: M s. y, F B I, a, y. Her mouth opens and then closes. "I'm confused?"

"The FBI is looking for a new Section Chief of Science and Technology for our office in Sacramento. I've put your name forward"

_California_? "But that's the other side of the country" her thoughts unintentionally assert aloud.

"I am adept over the geography of my own country" the urge to laugh or smile is overpowering, but he refrains.

"And you just put my name forward without consulting me", a creeping sensation of de-ja-vu rising in her; it's the arguments with her father all over again on her decision to study at Stanford instead of Georgetown.

Skinner studies her obvious rebuke, but he anticipated friction.  
"It would be a great opportunity for you, Agent Scully", his pre-rehearsed words chosen carefully, "and a promising stepping stone for your career".

Scully can't seem to move her gaze from the promised opportunity nested across her lap.  
"Does Agent Mulder know about this?"

Skinner lets out another exasperated sigh. "No, Agent Scully he does not. It doesn't concern him".

Her frown deepens over his frivolous assumption, instantly dissipating her initial shock; her icy gaze hardens on him. "I disagree. As my partner, I think it would have concerned Agent Mulder"

"Would have? Does that mean you approve?" he pushes urgently.

"No, it doesn't. But it doesn't matter because I'm not going. I've invested too much into the X-Files".

Skinner snorts. "That's the understatement of the century", but instantly mellows at her hardened glare.

Abruptly, he closes the distance between them, and before she knows it, he has seated himself at her bedside. She stares at him in bewilderment, the worry and concern etched in his eyes.

His hand moves to grab hers, which again twitch uncomfortably before reluctantly allowing his added pressure. "This is precisely why I put your name forward. You need to get out before it takes too much out of you".

"Oh, so not for my experti-"

"Of course because of your expertise"

His angered voice and grip momentarily overpowers hers, and her eyebrows raise in awe over the thick pulsing vein in his neck.

"…I have not met an agent-" he starts to continue.

But she finds her voice again and sharply pulls her hand from underneath his. "No. This is about splitting me and Agent Mulder up, deliminating our work on the X-Files"

Skinner sighs for what seems like the hundredth time in the short fifteen minutes he has occupied this hospital room.  
_A deliminator, that is what she sees me as, _and has to push away the overwhelming urge to cry.  
"Over four years ago now" he swallows hard and looks woefully at his empty hands. "I remember a bubbly and promising new agent step into the Director's office…"

Scully rolls her eyes, knowing where this is heading, but lets him continue.

"…Someone full of life and eager to succeed. Over the years I have slowly watched these attributes leave her". Skinner's eyes make contact with her. "You're loosing sight, Agent Scully". Scully's stomach sours hearing the words she knows all to well and which carry an addain amount of truth, "I want you to get out while you still can".

She is silent for a long while before she finally speaks. "I'm not going. The time I have left, belongs here, with Mulder".

"Time you have… left?" he stands in his confusion. "The tests you are having done this week aren't making you better?" His hand moves to his forehead, to wipe some light perspiration that has instantaneously accumulated there.

She frowns, almost laughing over the shock on his face. "They're only doctors, not miracle workers". _My tumour is inoperable_, she chuckles, musing over how Mulder seems to regularly forget this fact too.

Skinner abruptly moves to the door and her thoughts dissolve. "I, I have to go", his hand firms on the door knob. "Please don't just throw aside this opportunity without a second thought. I spent a long time on your proposal".

An eyebrow arches and her eyes roll but avoid his eye contact.

Skinner lets out one more sorrowful sigh before shutting the door behind him. He doesn't understand this is how their bond is played, that it's her showing affection, not the affection he perhaps wishes for but affection nonetheless. He leaves, frustrated. But a small smile plays on her lips, glad to have this particular relationship rekindling in her life.

…

In the confines of his car, Skinner digs out his cell phone from his breast pocket. The car park is silent, the muffled sound of its ringing echoes in the car.  
"What did you have me cover up?" He bites out when the call is answered.

"I think the less you know the better, under the circumstances".

"I need to know what that man died for", he demands, _especially if it was all in vain. _

"He died for you, Mr Skinner", laughter about his tone, which makes Skinner's skin crawl with anger. "He died so you could have what you wanted – a cure for Agent Scully. Isn't that what you want?"

_It is, but Dana is still ill_. "Agent Scully is in the hospital, dying, and you haven't done a damn thing about it. If you can do anything, I want it done now" he orders.

"I am fully aware of Agent Scully's, _progress_", again laughter laces his voice.

"You think that's funny? If anything happens to her" he seethes down the phone, his hand gripping hotly on the device. "I will expose you. I don't care what happens to me". Skinner hears the lighting of a cigarette sound through the airways, an inhale and exhale, before finally the voice speaks again.

"If you expose me, you also kill Agent Scully"

"You have no intention of saving her. You never did!", he rages, cursing his naivety. "You just wanted to relieve some of the blood on your hands and have me do your dirty work!"

"Are you certain? I saved her life once before, when I returned her to Agent Mulder. I may save her life again…".

Skinner's voice halts in silent hope over his indecisive words, the callets cigarette smoke filling the airways.

Finally he speaks, "…Agent Scully stands to live a long and health life. I would hope the same for you".

_Or you_, Skinner thinks.

"A man digs a hole, he risks falling in".

The clip disconnection sound and then dial tone.

…

Extinguishing his cigarette, he immediately dials another number. He rests the cell phone in between his ear and shoulder blade while he lights another Morley.

"Seems like Ms Scully is collecting quite a fan club" he muses when the call is answered.

"What do you mean?"

"It appears the assistant director also has Ms Scully's welfare as his prime concern. He threatened me with blackmail".

"Shadow Man informed me of Mr Skinner's presence at the hospital, but there is another pressing concern. Mulder has somehow involved himself in Mr Skinner's assignment, and if he hasn't already, has made the link between the bees and the bees he saw with Jeremiah Smith. I thought he was on suspension".

"Mulder will stop at nothing for the truth", a hint of fondness and pride in his statement.

The caller let out a gruff grunt. "Well maybe it is time we change our tactics. Why are you so concerned over this woman's safety? Ms. Scully was always disposable. You knew that, Mr Skinner knew that, Edward knew that, yet you all seem to be doing your own personal campaign for her safety. Jerry died knowing that".

"If she dies, it will only cause more speculation. Not only Mulder but Skinner to, and he knows things".

There was a long pause. "Tell him what he wants to hear"

…

**10:36**

_Mother…_

"Mom" she offers a polite smile, because it isn't the face she wants to see. Self-conscious, she shifts her weight more upright, worries her fingers before settling them in her lap.

Her mother waits hesitantly at her hospital room door.

_Life which once fought so hard to survive.  
_"Hi Dana, I was just bringing you some post from home" she spoke nervously, obtrusively waving the letters in her hand as a proof.

Scully had expected to see her mother yesterday when Mulder checked her in, but was sure she had not because of the argument they had on the phone Saturday evening, over her refusal to return to her church which she had shut out for over eight years now.  
"Sure. You can come in".

"This is a nice room". Maggie's eyes gaze over as she ascends closer into the room, shakily passing over her daughter's mail. "Spacious". Now with nothing to hold, her fingers fidget uncomfortably with the hem of her cardigan. Scully's eyes lock on in annoyance and Maggie splays them across her thighs instead.

"Thanks", Scully refocuses her attention back on her mail, although directed about the mail or halting her fidgeting fingers, Maggie isn't sure. "Mulder talked a nurse's ear off until they moved me from the two way room into a private room of my own" she chuckles and smiles fondly over the memory of it.

"That's nice", Maggie nods absently. "Fox takes good care of you"

"Yes," her eyes flicker momentarily to her mother's apprehensive gaze, "he does Mom" and then pretends to be distracted shifting through her mail.

"And you let him"

She raises her gaze back to her mother. "Yes, I do, Mom", she says carefully.

"That's good, Dana" Maggie says in an anxious chirp.

They hold each others eyes for a few seconds. Scully's cold stern gaze out stares her mothers and Maggie's flits hers away.  
Silence is filled with the precise echoing movements of Scully shifting back through her mail. She flips one's face towards her mother's gaze, "I think this one is from Charlie" she smiles, opening the sleeves carefully, paper scraping paper.

_Life which once fought so hard to survive_.  
Crystal blue orbits search the unknown crystal blue orbits, before moving to analyse every line, every furrow on the face she half created; spent eight months carrying in anticipation; an agonising twelve hours in premature labour, fifteen minutes in surgery, and two days, just waiting. But it didn't stop then, it's still ongoing… They don't tell you that, child birth is just the beginning; watching them, fail and learn from their mistakes, shout you advice aside with the trash, convinced that you never ever could have possibly felt the way they are feeling… Maggie's searching eyes hone in on the golden cross that she gave as a Christmas present in the far bitter sweet past. It is still worn, and she wonders why, but forces her gaze away before they are detected.

"And Samy?"

The envelope accidentally drops. "What about Samy", Scully's question getting slightly lost in her sigh, picking up the envelope again and gruffly opening it, it's a card.

"Samy takes good care of you too", her fingers tug nervously on her pants.

Scully inspects the card's back and front. "Yep, Mom", annoyance in her tone.

"But you don't let him", Maggie says matter-of-factly.

Scully chuckles, still inspecting the intricate design on the front of the card. "There is only so much taking care of a girl can take. I feel like I'm being drowned, you, Mulder, Samy…"_ and now Skinner._

Maggie ignores her daughters' last sentence. "So you've made your decision".

"What decision?" She exasperates, the card forgotten. "You mean a decision between Mulder and Samy? Mom!" She fists the pink hospital sheets in her growing anger. "I am in a hospitable bed! With terminal cancer!" She explodes, the fisted sheets exploding in the air with her, her proof. "And it's, it's insanity! But y-, M-, everyone around me says it's the right thing, that I am in the right place".  
She calms, breathing slowly, inhaling, exhaling. It's not fair for her mother to be the receiver of this, but she was a ticking time bomb. "My time would be better spent in the field with Mulder, not trying to cure something that can't be cured... I should be out there" she signals to the 'Outside' beyond the window and her eyes follow, looking on hungrily, "...with the rest of the people in this ward, ...living and enjoying life, ...what's left of it". Scully brings her gaze back in and focuses on the mail in her palms. "…But no people think that death and suffering should be locked away in science and these concrete walls, for doctors to experiment away in..., so, so, they can say, 'we tried everything, but in the end it just wasn't enough'... I just think, I think, death would be less scary, less daunting if you aren't lived in constant reminder, or in fear of it". Scully fights away her building tears. "..I'm in here, for you, Mom".

"I know you are baby girl".

But Scully can't look up, to face the tears she knows will be displayed on her mother's face, for fear of her own. Instead she gives herself a few moments before picking up the discarded card again. "Yep, a late birthday card" she says brightly, regarding the inside it for a while, a faint sad smile on her lips.

"Better late than never I guess" Maggie laughs nervously through her emotions.

"Hmmm" she muses. "Seems like everyone is remembering my birthday this year" she says pushing herself higher up on her hospital bed; she turns to reassemble her pillow, pushing her mother's attentive worrying hands away. "I even got one from Bill this year?" her voice gets strangled by her movement. "You wouldn't have anything to do with all these?"

Maggie's eyes open wide in bewilderment, and her splayed out hands start to fumble again.

Scully clocks the movement and sighs. "I don't want them to know", she clocks her mother's forlorn face and clumsily blinks away her own betraying tears. "I can't handle their sympathy".

_Life which once fought so hard to survive, has she now thrown in the towel?_  
"I know Dana" Maggie says forcefully, pulling straight the hem of her cardigan, her fear over the situation banished. "This isn't just about yo-"

A laugh escapes Scully's mouth. "Oh, but I think it is Mo-"

"It is not Dana!" Scully reflexively grips on to her bedding sheets, taken aback by her mother's scream. "You are not the only person who is suffering", she says curtly before storming out of the room.

…

**Thursday, 13:25  
Two days later**

_Awkward._

"Jennie…" she states in a polite tone, offering a polite smile because it isn't the face she wants to see. Self-conscious, she shifts her weight upright, quickly tugs on the sleeves of her flimsy pale blue hospital gown, her fingers play against each other worryingly, before resting on her lap.

"Hi", she draws out the 'I' obviously as uncomfortable as Scully is over her presence in someone, who can only really be described as a distant and maybe unwanted acquaintance's hospital bed, in the oncology ward, for her terminal cancer.

"Mulder, isn't here?" she questions, surmising that this could be the only reason she is here.

"Oh, I didn't think he would be, I mean, I was hoping to him to be, but…" Both women get momentarily distracted by a commotion of doctors hastily wheeling a stretcher. "…I was just…I wasn't even sure you would even be here", she fumbles with her words and her coat cuffs.

Scully spots this and lets out a loud irritated sigh; she doesn't know how much longer she can take of this. If it is not here, it's at her mother's, or at work; why can't people just be normal around her? What irritates her up the most about this disease, is how it has suddenly changed the way people view her, the way they act around her, like she is some kind of special needs case, which she guesses in a way she is… but still.

"But…" another stretcher rolls past them, Jennie lets out a desperate sigh, "Is it ok if I come in?"

"Of course" Scully says, lifting her weight up again, plumping her pillows.

Jennie closes the door behind her and she visibly seems more relaxed.  
"I'm sorry, just appearing her, but on Monday when I was reminding Fox of Sammie's dance recital on Wednesday, he mentioned that he had just dropped you off here, for, some, tests" she slows, sensing the other woman's discomfort, "-but" she hurries on, "he said that he would go to Sammie's dance recital on Wednesday evening, but he didn't, and that's why I am here, for Sammie. We haven't seen him for over three weeks now, and she's asking for him". Jennie stops, and frowns at her palms, as if warding off some kind of emotion. "He didn't answer my messages. I called him at work, and no one picked up. So, I called the main office and they told me that he hadn't been at work for almost a month" she swallows a hard lump, "but I was hoping, if I found you here, you might be able to offer me some insight".

"Oh" Scully sinks back into her hospital pillows, unsure of what to say.

Jennie breaks the silence, "I'm sorry to get you involved in this, it's just…, I can leave…" and she starts for the door.

"No", Scully stops her. "It's ok. Mulder…had to take a month off work, over a, a, at the bureau's request, but he should be back next week. As to where he has been this past month…? I can't really say because I don't know". Scully laughs, but Jennie can say by her expression that it is the exact opposite emotion to how she is feeling. "I can't even tell you where he is now or has been these past few days, because I haven't seen or heard from him since", she stares at her palms in her lap and swallows that same lump that had been caught in Jennie's throat.

Jennie lets out a chuckle. "That sounds like Fox".

_Does it?_ She wonders, suddenly, feeling really bitter towards Mulder. How would she know if that was typical 'Fox' behaviour? He is only 'Mulder' to her, like the rest of all his work colleagues; she is not family or regarded close enough to call him by his first name. It's Jennie and Fox, and Mulder and Scully; and her bitterness suddenly transcended to Jennie, eyeing her dangerously. It used to be Dana and Fox. He was _hers_ first, but had been ripped away from her, like others she loved and cherished.  
She gets lost in her bitter thoughts. It is only when she raises her gaze, realising that Jennie is looking at her with her same bitterness, does Scully's face soften. Had she became the other woman?

"I should go", Jennie breaks the tense silence.

Scully nods in agreement, her head bowed, she doesn't trust her emotions, which are whirling around her to keep themselves at bay. Clearing her throat, "I'll see Mulder on Monday, and I'll pass on what you said". She hears the heels of Jennie's shoes ascend towards the door, they stop, and she waits.

"…From what Fox has said about you, I get that you are a person that doesn't take too well to sympathy, or like people seeing her vulnerable", Jennie's voice sounds nervous, but at the same time determined, "but, but I just want to say, sorry and thank-you. I appreciate you letting me in, when you are…" her hands exaggerate to the room, the ward, the hospital, her cancer.

Scully lets out a steady sigh, "thank-you", she says genuinely, meeting her gaze.

"Oh, I almost forgot" Jennie says, unclasping her bag, "…and she would have killed me". She pulls out a sheet of computer paper, passing it to Scully.

Scully smiles accepting it, recognising another work of art from Sammie: her, Mulder and Queequeg in their basement office, complete with blue fire macaroni cheese and red coloured in test tubes, 'Get Well Soon', written in multicoloured Crayola on the top.

"She still talks about that day all the time".

Scully looks up at her surprised… "Thanks".

…

**16:24**

…_? Fatherheatloverchild  
_  
Scully feels a familiar pressure on her lower back. "Mulder", and she can't help the faint girlish smile that forms on her lips.

"Springing the joint early?" he humours, his voice tickling the small hairs on the back of her neck, and her voice hitches in her throat. She frowns at the front desk's nurse's knowing smile.

She turns to face him, and her body relaxes at his presence.

"Sorry I couldn't get here before", he apologises.

"It's fine. You're here now" she says meekly, but her eyes tell him a different truth, and his face falls.

"I was helping Skinner with a case…I was actually quite impressed with him, didn't know the old guy had it in him" he chuckles.

Scully had already decided that she wouldn't tell Mulder about Skinner's proposition. "I know, he came to see me two days ago", she informs and reaches for her bags.

"Oh" he pouts, and then hastily moves to get her bags for her.

Scully watches him briefly before making her way to the exit.

"So…" he asks when he catches up with her.

"No. A complete waste of time" she says, "and I got fed up of waiting for, for…" she angrily readjusts her hold on her handbag.

"Well you've got to keep trying. It's the best place to be…, I guess", although his tone is not really convincing.

"No its not", she dismisses, briefly pausing her steps. "Living life is the best place to be", and hurries away from him and towards the cab stand.

"Scully, slow down" he orders, and a shiver of anger goes through her over the informality of her last name being called.

"No Mulder, I will not slow down", her words contradicting her movements as she comes to a complete halt, addressing him with fire. Her movements are so sudden that he bumps in to her and has to take a few steps back. "And I, I am sick and tired of all these tests that are making me do just that. I will not be a lab rat for these doctors, to prod and poke and experiment on".

His thoughts escape him, "that's rich coming from you", he smirks, but then instantly regrets his words.

Her grip loosens on her handbag. "Now is not the time to snide at my beliefs, Mulder".

"I know, I'm sorry", he apologises.

"We're not at work"

"I know, Scully" he says gently, soothing her, and her face softens.

"Had to be somewhere important in a hurry?" she asks, lightly tracing a shaving cut.

"Yeah, here" he laughs boyishly.

She hates herself for asking it, "where were you?"

He shrugs, "just following up on the case I was helping Skinner with".

"But you're supposed to be on suspension?"

"I stayed in the shadows".

She lets out a displeased sigh. "I know what you're doing, but you can't carry on keeping me in the dark. That's how things like Max happen". He nods absently in non-commitment, stilling at her hand to his forehead. "How are the headaches?"

He smiles at her concern. "Non-existent, just like they were three weeks ago".

"Track" she orders, ignoring his comment as she moves a finger across his peripheral. "Ok" she says when she is satisfied.

"Ok" he smiles. "I brought my car", his head signals in the direction of the hospital visitor car park, and they start to walk towards it, a respectable distance between them.

"Jennie came to see me too" she says after a while.

"Oh"

"Yes, that was my thoughts too".

"Well, what did she want?" He asks slowing down with her.

She stops. "She wanted to know where you were. Apparently she and Sammie haven't heard from you in a while".

"Well I-"

"There is a little girl involved Mulder" she reminds him angrily.

"Yes there is" he admits, matching her tone. "Who does have a father, and a mother, and both sets of grandparents, aunts and uncles, all there for her. But there is another, are other…people, who are more important to my attention right now".

Although she didn't have to be told anyway, she could tell by the concern he was boring into her face, that she was one of them. "But it's you she wants Mulder. I mean, I do, I,…" she shakes her head at the ground for clarity over her thoughts. "Please just don't ignore her for my sake. I'm not … a miracle is what I need".

He juggles her bags into one hand, and uses this spare one to cup her gaze back to his. "And we should never give up on them".

_**So, like always, this chapter was a lot longer than I intended, but like my teacher says, I am a waffler. I was really worried about the last chapter, but three people added it to their alerts, so I feel a bit more self assured. Thanks for reading, let me know how you think its going :) **_


	41. Scully's Blind Spot

**_My inspiration for this chapter was the cover photo for this fic_**

**CHAPTER 41: Scully's Blind Spot  
Episode: She is Me**

**_…Monday, four days later…_**

**PART I  
Early May 1997  
Mulder's Apartment  
Day 1, 11:03**

Despite the rarity of its use lately, the lock opens easily with the insert of my key. I fully push open the door before entering.

"Mulder?" I call.

Silence.

"Mulder?"

You could hear a pin drop.

"Mulder?" my voice verging on a snap.

I sigh, and slump into his apartment. Exhausted already from work, my movements are heavy as I press his answer machine for messages and go to feed the fish. They swarm around the flakes hungrily, so I give them a few more; who knows when they were last fed? Although with Mulder as their owner, its accomplishment enough that he even has the flakes.

My voice on the answer machine echoes loudly through the large room. I let out another loud sigh, slamming the fish food back on the shelf. My eyes survey the poorly lit room before focussing on his study area. Rushing over, my fingers clumsily part the blinds for a white cross taped across the window pane; the stream of direct light hurts my eyes. I sigh angrily - but on second thoughts, in relief, and release the panels; I knew it wouldn't be there, and yet my nerves still get the better of me.

I click my fingernails angrily against each other, surveying the rest of the study desk.

Turning on his computer, it asks for a password; I type it in: 'LOG ON FAILED', emerges across the screen. _Motherfucker...he's changed it_.

I think for a moment before my eyes catch something hidden behind the stationary pot, and a hand darts at his snow globe of Oxford. Turning it over, my eyes narrow at the writing: 'nice try Scully', scribled in Mulder's messy handwriting.

I slam my heel, making a loud sound against the wooden floor boards; my head bows between my two outstretched hands resting on the desk.

_...Come on Scully.._. I roll my eyes, great, even my own subconscious has even succumbed. What was it before…? Starbuck I th- stay on task: Mulder.

...

A few minutes past, the toe of my black work shoes tapping against the floor makes a steady tempo for my thought process. My head snaps up and my fingers type quickly over the keyboard...

- Yes! Logging in.

I smile triumphantly at myself, taking a well deserved flop at his desk seat. I let out a loud content sigh as I fall into it; I think this is the most relaxed I have felt ever since I walked into the office to find him not there.

But there is nothing on his computer that will give anything away.

I rest my head on the desk and let out a small cry.

Turning it to the side, I gaze at the waste paper basket for a few seconds... its still full.

Placing it on the desk, I start to rifle through it: times, places, dates – all past, scribbled down on scrap pieces of paper. I narrow at the one currently in my hand, regarding both sides, the date on it was just last week, and I wonder idly if this was where he was. I stuff it into my pocket nevertheless. The rest of the contents is unhelpful.

I pout and turn around in the chair… is it really OK for me to snoop around the rest of his apartment?

I pick myself up and slump towards his bedroom, and am once again surprised when I see the room is actually a fully functional bedroom. _Jennie's input_, and my heart sinks a little at the thought. I make my way through the rest of the apartment, turning on all the lights to get a better look. There is even a table and chairs in the entrance.

I quickly check to see if there is actually food in the kitchen cupboard and fridge… there isn't much, save the usual cupboard preserves and some boxes of macaroni cheese – I smile though seeing this, and a flood of warmth runs through me. A glass bottle of milk is the sole item in the fridge, which has already started to mould and wash it out.

The small bedroom however is still wall upon wall of card board boxes – more now. Hovering at the entrance of the room, I see Mulder sat up like a rag dolls, his body shaking through his tears, a newborn stripped purple and cream onsie strewn across his stomach. My eyes tear and my heart pangs like a drum at the memory of it; that day wasn't really that long ago and yet it seems like a life time.

I close the door on those unwanted memories and feelings, and stand back in the middle of the now, fully bright living room. My eyes catch something discarded in the middle of the floor, a haphazard folded piece of paper; and minus the fact of being in his apartment; I recognise the sloppy work as Mulder's - accidently dropped in his rush...?

Kneeling down and opening it, it reads:

_Teresa Nemen nose bleed like S.  
Used to track through clones, then nose implant...S?.  
neck implants – S  
the injection…b?  
now home grown gene altercation…b?_

Who is b...? I wonder.

Worry creeps over me fast and faster; it becomes overwhelming and I have to sit.

I feel something trickle from my nose... blood.

I left my tissues in my coat pocket in the car; tilting my head back, I rush to the bathroom for toilet paper - there is of course, none. I use a face flannel and watch as my blood taints the pale yellow cloth a deep crimson. The liquid metastasising and spreading, quickly absorbing the colour like the cancer to my body.

The nose bleeds are getting heavier and longer, I may as well be carrying a flannel with me.

Sitting back down, I deadpan and then smile at the packet upon packets of pocket tissues sitting right in front of my eyes on the coffee table. They are the ones that Mulder always has on hand. _See, he does care -_ I do know he cares, but still... it's nice to be reminded how much, and I settle slightly further into his old worn leather sofa.

…

_I flop down on to Mulder's bare torso. Our bodies almost line; but my head and hands rest lightly on his chest, and my legs tangled with his, just reach mid-calf. I bury my face as much as I can into his chest, which still has a slight sheen to it from or earlier excursion on the couch._

_He drops a hand to rest across my shoulder blades, and rubs a few circles through the fabric of my work shirt. Before un-tucking the material from my skirt waist band, deftly unclasping by bra, so that his touch is skin to skin. His __hand massages the hollows and bumps down my vertebrae and around my blades, that _definitely_ feels better, and I let out a muffled groan in appreciation._

_"You OK?" he asks, concentrating more on whatever it is he is reading in his hand - probably something to do with the X-Files, and I roll my eyes_.

_I'm pretty sure he could feel it or feel the flutter my eye lashes made against his skin. I grunt in response to his question. I just up-chucked my dinner and what felt like every other liquid in my body down his bathroom toilet..I'm sick already of being sick._

_He rests his reading on the nearby coffee table, and now massages my back with both hands._

_I turn my head to the side and skirt my fingertips along the leather of the couch, thinking, although I don't know what about? Probably how it absorbed our congealed sweat so quickly. I wonder what he is thinking about...? I shift my head until I find his heartbeat and whatever worries were churning in my mind are slowly drifted away by its soothing sound, and my fingertips eventually rest on the vicinity of his torso._

_We stay like this for what seems like eternity, deep in thought, although to class it as 'comfortable silence', I could not say. _

_"Maybe we could get married?" he suggests._

Hello!?_ I push myself up on his chest, so that we are nose tip to nose tip and frown heavily at him._

_He seems serious, and I roll my eyes, pushing myself well and truly off him._

_My bra clings on to me uncomfortably but I just reach for my suit jacket and push my arms through the holes angrily; straightening the collar and hem before bending for my hand bag. I catch him through the corner of my eye and he has propped himself up on the back of his elbows, he's watching me with a smirk on his face. Bastard! Marry you indeed; I just walked through a tower of wall to wall boxes to use your bathroom – which had no toilet paper, before rejoining you on your very cramped 'bed', where you are laid up half naked in your work trousers, with your shoes still on! The fucking arrogancy._

_I glower at him before storming out his apartment. _

_"I guess that's a no", he teases, before I slam the door shut behind me._

_I was nearly four months pregnant then._

…

The sound of my cell ringing from my breast pocket wakes me up with a start. My face hot from my dream… or memory. They're getting stronger; I still have the flannel pressed hard against my nose.

"Hello", I say groggily.

"Scully?"

"Mulder", I say breathlessly, move to sit up, chucking the flannel on the coffee table. I clear my throat.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah", it's still a croak; I clear my voice again. "I'm OK".

Silence.

"…Mulder?"

"Yeah I was uhmmm…" he trails off.

I frown gripping the phone tighter. "What's the matter Mulder, where are you?"

"I called you at the office, but no one picked up…"

"You mean your not there?" I say sarcastically.

He lets out one of his short embarrassed smile, and I can almost see the twist of his lips, the scratch of his head, and the scuff of his shoes that always follows when he knows he has done something wrong. It's almost childlike – _sweet really_. "…I'm at a crime scene. Didn't Skinner tell you we have a new case?"

"Yeah he did, Mulder. When he called me up to his office at 9:00 this morning, alone I might add", I hang the statement in the air.

"…Yeah, I was…you don't want to know where I was", I roll his eyes, that's his new excuse and he thinks saying it makes everything fine. "-But now I'm at Angie's Midnight Bowl, where are you? I mean… if you want, that is, if you are up to i-"

"I'm fi- OK Mulder. Is there anything you need from you- the office?" I ask, my eyes travelling across his living room guiltily, he doesn't know that I am here.

"No I've got everything I need, see you in about half an hour… Do you need picking up?"

I glance at my wrist watch, 12:50, "no, it's OK" - shit, it's almost one! I've been out for almost two hours!

"OK Scully, I'll have you're bowling shoes ready and waiting for you; reference, Mrs Spooky".

I roll my eyes, but smile.

…

**PART II**  
**Angie's Midnight Bowl, DC  
13:30**

**"**Yeah, but like, like I said", I turn to the round face of Mr Pintero, the bowling alley owner, "the woman in the parking lot ...

"Was the same woman that you saw caught up here in the machinery?" I finish, biting my cheek to conceal my laugh. Him, Mulder and I are lined up laying on our fronts under a pin machine that, Mr Pintero, is adamant he saw the ghost of the dead woman found outside the parking lot.

"That's right", he says vehemently.

I don't believe this, wedged between the two of us, I shoot Mulder a brief glance, he is already looking straight back at me; I can tell by his expression believes the bowling alley owner's story. And why wouldn't he? After over three years, I should know better. We are nose tip to nose tip, my gaze drops and lingers on his lips, and for a moment I was certain I was going to lean in and kiss him.

I back out to stand; Mr Pintero and Mulder follow shortly.

_I wonder what our child would have looked like had she survived her birth?_

"Look, I'm not making this up!" Angie shouts defensively and I snap back out my thoughts.

"No one's suggesting that you are, Mr Pintero", Mulder assures.

_I am._

"I saw the look on her face", he says, pointing an excusing finger at me.

I go to protest but Mulder interjects, "can I ask you a favour? Can I get a soda, a cola, something like that?

"Sure", he says and slugs off shooting me a dirty look.

_Would have she had Mulder's mood-ring like colour eyes?_

Mulder sighs, "what was with that look, Scully?" he attempts a scold, but I know its really just humour.

**"**I would have thought that after three years you'd know exactly what that look was".

**"**What, you don't believe in ghosts?" he quirks.

_Would she believe in the fantastic like her father?_

"You're saying that what this man saw was the victim's ghost?" I fold my arms across my chest, far too annoyed then I will allow myself over his question. Why can't he just… accept things for what they are? Why can't he just accept the truth and reality for the truth and reality and stop looking for an alternate answer?

"Sounds more like a disembodied soul", he plays.

_His dark hair?_

"Which is just another name for a ghost" I bite out and sigh.

"Or maybe more like a death omen?" he frowns in thought.

"A death omen?" I angrily shake my arms loose, and sigh. _Not everyone will be as accepting of him as me._

I frown as I watch him pick up a bowling bowl, giving it a few practice swings before he lets go... Strike, he turns to check that I was watching, and I can't help smiling at him looking so chuffed with himself. _See_ Mulder, you can be normal! Why can't he be part of a bowling team instead of NICAP!

"This is the third reported sighting in as many weeks ..." – back to work, "and as many murders. Each time the victim appearing near the crime scene trying to communicate, trying to say something..."

"What?!" I ask, almost laughing at the preposterousness of it. Mr Pintero returns with Mulder's drink.

"I don't know yet but, uh, ... thank you" he say's taking the drink, "If you hold on a second I may have an answer for you".

_His build?_

Mr Pintero and I follow closely as he lies back down in front of the pin setter. I frown as he pours his cola on the polished wooden floor.

"Hey!" Mr Pintero protests, and I groan inwardly over his actions.

"She is me" Mulder says looking back at both of us expectantly, I frown – _what?_ Before I realise he is talking about something on the floor, not answering my ramblings over what our daughter would have looked like.

Despite my head screaming at me not to, I and my heart lay back down beside him. 'She is me'; etched into the wood, just like the other murders, just like he said. I smile, _would she have had his ademency to prove?_

…

Another nosebleed. I want to be quick to freshen up as I know that Mulder is probably hovering outside the door waiting for me. I'm sure like me he has noticed my nosebleeds getting heavier.

I turn on the tap and gaze at my reflection through the mirror. The deep crimson trickling out of my nose no longer alerts me, and I instead focus on the rest of my reflected image: I look so pale, gaunt, thin; my eyes gaze down to my stomach, and unbuttoning my jacket, I gaze at my flat abdomen. I lift a hand to it…

_There is not even really a swell, like I thought there would be at three months. I trace a finger over it, hovering, like I am almost afraid to touch it, to become attached to it._

_Something lands on my fingers, I frown, realising it is my own tears and stare up at my reflected image... The reality of what is growing inside me all got to much while in the court room; I had to leave Mulder's side an escape to hide in the women's bathroom._

_He asked me whether I was going to have an abortion... Could I get rid of Mulder's baby...? I don't think I could even if I wanted to, and I know that I will love it more than anything I have ever loved._

_"Scully?" I hear his gentle knock on the bathroom door, his voice laced with concern, and I hurry to clean myself up._

_I was three months pregnant._

My hand lays flat on my abdomen and I sigh; what was once an un-welcomed burden would now be the most wanted blessing.  
Something lands on my fingers, I frown confused, but then realise it's just another nose bleed.

"Scully?" I hear his gentle knock on the bathroom door, his voice laced with concern, and I hurry to clean myself up.

I go to take one last gaze at my reflection - Abruptly, my eyes widen in horror, when I see the words, 'She is me' … written in blood… my blood…? Missy's blood…? My daughters blood…? - No, I squint. Slowly, a hazy image starts to form in the mirrors reflection… me…? - No… it's someone I have never seen before. Strangely, she looks like one of those special effects ghosts that you see in movies nowadays, cyan and her throat slit, and I vaguely wonder if someone is playing a trick on me. Her mouth is moving and she is trying to speak but I can't hear her or make out the shapes of her mouth.

"Scully?" Mulder calls and knocks again – what did he say it was, a death omen?... My death omen…?

"Scully?" – but I can't move, having gone very cold.

…

**_Later that evening at a different crime scene with the same MO…_**

It only took me a moment to recognise the girl at the crime scene, a glance; and I knew I had to get out of here.  
"Mulder…I…", my mouth going dry.

**"**What?"

I cough, wetting the inside of my mouth with my tongue, "I think I'm going to let you take care of that. I, uh, I think I'm gonna… get this-", stumbling over my words, I clumsily signal in the direction of my nose, "-checked out just, you know, just to be safe".

"You want me to drive you?"

"No, no, I'm fine really. I've had the doctors keep a, a...close watch and it's just, just precaution".

"You're sure?"

"I'm fine, Mulder", I snap harshly, hurrying away from the scene.

**PART III  
****_The next day…_****  
J Edgar Hoover building  
Dr Kosseff's office  
Day 2, 8:00**

"…I've always pushed myself to succeed, even before my father's death. He was always disappointed I gave up my career in medicine, he didn't, he didn't understand why…" I suck in my breath, "so, my endeavour became to make him proud, even from the grave, to prove to him… But these last couple of years…I have managed to let everything slide, I've lost focus", I recall my conversation with Skinner, "but it is only now that I am realising it, now, when I think that I should be thinking about a completely different focus…".

I sit in silence for a while with my thoughts.

"…Anyway, back to what I was saying about Agent Mulder - I, I, I didn't mean to sound so harsh and I, I know I probably hurt him. Let him down definitely…", I pause before shifting my attention from my sweating palms to look back up at my FBI appointed therapist, Dr Kosseff, who is looking back at me understandingly – but then that is what she is paid to do, "but I just- had -to -get –out- of -there", my hand and voice slowly enunciating each word. "…What I saw, whatever it was… I saw it, because of the stress, because the image had been suggested to me or if it was a suggestion of my own fears…", I look up at the therapist hopeful for her input. But Dr Kosseff stays silent, waiting for me to say more.

I exhale loudly; I hate it when she does this. I have been to see her more than a few times over my years at the FBI; a particularly hard case, death, illness; anything that can affect job performance, it becomes mandatory for an agent to see their FBI appointed therapist. My illness aside, bailing on Mulder yesterday, got me an immediate ticket to Dr Kosseff's office.

I retract, and stare back at my palms, rubbing them against each other, "…but that was yesterday, today is a new day, and I will be back by his side".

"Do you feel that you owe it to him to continue working?"

I frown quickly - no. "No", I answer quickly, and then pause. "I guess…, I guess I never realized how much I rely on him before this ... his passion ..." I urge away my smile that is slowly creeping and clear my throat, "he's been a great source of strength that I've drawn on", I flush slightly over my confession.

"What happened last night, Dana?" she asks the question, that she has probably been waiting, what is it now? I check my wrist watch – thirty minutes for me to bring up, and I wonder idly how we get so off track?

Frowning back at my palms, "I, I saw something. I, I don't know what to trust", I confess my greatest truth, a truth that I don't think Dr Kosseff realises how great. Why does it take talking to relative stranger for me to open up? "… If I saw it because of the stress, because the image had been suggested to me, or if it was a suggestion of my own fears...?"

"Your fear of failing him?"

I frown – no. _Yes,_ I exhale, not ready for these emotions to surface… "Maybe", I confess.

She lets my statement hang in the air, making me stew in my emotions that are fighting to bubble to the surface.

"We've talked about your fear before…"

Finally! But then I frown, we have? "We have?" I question, fixing my attention on her. I recognise the expression on her face, it tells me she has made some sort of error; I have indeed worn it myself countless of times.

"Yeah", she says uncertainly, and for the first time in the half an hour I have been here, shifts, uncomfortably. She's frowning at herself, inwardly cursing, before she recovers, settling back into her pose … "Let's go back to this fear, you just told me that you recently were diagnosed with cancer. Could this be fear over your cancer".

I frown again, "I'm not afraid of death", I state defiantly, and then add less confidently, "but I fear for the p, people I'll leave behind".

She waits.

"…My family… my mom especially…"

She's still waiting.

I sigh, giving in, "Agent Mulder… he depends on me, he needs me… I'm afraid", I feel water start to collect in my eyes, and I blink and cough them away, "afraid, what might happen to him if I leave, and I don't just mean this life… I need to, I'm seriously thinking, how and where I want to spend whatever time I have left. But… but, I'm also terrified of him on his own".

"Dana… you don't have to burden yourself with Agent Mulder's quest-"

"I know", I snap, angry at her words that have been echoed and seem to be the mantra of it seems everyone around me …as well as myself. I soften my voice and expression, "I know… but whether I like it or not it has become mine, and all I wan-" my voice gets lost by my tears that have suddenly emerged, "all I want", I try again, "is, for, that beautiful mind of his, to be at ease by the I'm, I'm … and that he can be happy, have a normal life; the life that was taken away from him when he was so young, and he has been fighting to get back…", my last words are totally lost by tears so I dig into my pocket for my bloodied handkerchief and wait a few moments until I am composed.

"I fear that without resolution, his quest will only end up destroying himself".

"Dana" Dr Kosseff tries again lightly, and I fix my glare on her. "There was a time in Agent Mulder's life before you, and he will be able to carry on without you".

I frown, not liking her words. "Well then maybe it is I who depend on him…", I resound; more certain of my words once they are spoken. I smile, for the first time since yesterday, but it seems so much longer than that. Frowning has become a natural expression for my face, but smiling is almost like a contortion… that is one thing I have to change. "…The faith he has in me is amazing", I feel my entire body start to warm as my smile widens, "it's enough for the both of us! It's almost exhausting!" I chuckle, not even caring how transparent I am being.

"Dana", her solemn voice brings me back to the here and now; neither her voice nor her stone cold face making my enlightened smile or mood falter, "this is a time you are supposed to be resting-"

"I'll rest when I'm dead; HE is who keeps me going".

We have sat in silence for a few minutes, so I decide now would be a good time to leave. I'm lifting myself off the sofa when I remember something from earlier. I smile quizzically at her, "… what fear, were you talking about, earlier?"

She looks stunned, and my lips twitch a bit more in her obvious remorse. She opens her mouth and then closes it again instantly, "…I, I" she fumbles, her cheeks reddening, "I have been told not to disclose on part of your health. I am sorry I even mentioned it"

I twitch my lips again. "You were referring to my pregnancy?"

Dr Kosseff's eyes widen, and her face looks so comical that I can't help the laugh that escapes my mouth "You, you remember?"

I smile, "the plus side to this illness - if there is one is. Ever since my hospitalisation in Allentown…", I stop – it's not my favourite topic I like to bring up. I sigh and try again, "it started as flash bulb of moments, feelings. But as my illness gets stronger, invades my body more, I seem to be remembering more and more everyday…"

"And that's what's happening? Your cancer is getting worse?"

I nod, "my doctors are pushing me to increase by treatment, but…", I sigh, trailing off. "He knows it too. Don't ask me how he knows, but I know he knows, and I know it scares him, as much as it scares me... although what scares him and what scares me are two completely different things".

There is more silence, so I go to stand again, Dr Kosseff's eyes watch me as I do, but nothing else moves.

My fingers play and jingle with the loops of my keys in my left coat pocket in our silence; they touch the edge of the key ring Mulder gave me for my birthday, and halt in surprise for a moment, before delicately tracing along its smooth, sleek plastic sphere.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dr Kosseff asks eventually, disrupting my trance.

My heart constricts, and at the same time lays bare; the juxtapose makes my muscle ache, and I raise my gaze to the heavens before by body lets out a loud melancholy sigh.  
_'Do I want to talk about it'... _it's not a question.  
My gaze lolls back to the navy blue thin carpet. It starts to blur. I shake my head, no.

Silently, I stay standing until my vision becomes clear again, and I respect Dr Kosseff for allowing me to do so.

When I am sure that I can move, I silently head to exit the door; however my hand twitches around the door knob. My mouth opens in a whisper and I hardly recognise the voice flowing out of it; scratchy, quiet, unguarded. "There", I stop to clear my throat, "there is something a-almost tragically beau-utiful", I wobble, "about watching your child come to life, and then watching its life taken away".

**PART IV  
****_Later that evening_****…  
New Horizon Psychiatric Centre  
23:42**

"...that could have been a factor in his death...?"

I irritably roll my eyes at Mulder's suggestion, my logical brain pushing the rest of his words aside as nonsense. Why does everything with him have to be paranormal!? Death is anything but paranormal, its the most natural thing right after life.

I mutter obscenities under my breath. Mulder's 'theories' always 'irk' me, but today, lately, their pushing my buttons a bit _too_ hard. And does he have to keep saying the word, 'death', around me! I know he didn't have to bend my arm to get me here... but still, a little compassion!

"Harold Spuller wasn't dying _Mulder_", I sigh when his ramblings finally stop, "he was killed. As a result of what a woman took away". We've reached the glass exit double doors, and I lift my irritated gaze up to him to see that he is looking right back at me with a incredulous look on his face.

What?_! _I frown.

He's holding one of the doors slightly ajar; I shiver as the warm summer-night's wind shoots straight through the crack and me, sending a cold chill down my spine. Its the beginning of May, about 62F, and I am bundled in my winter coat, I shouldn't be cold. Even the weather won't allow me to let up on my illness.

A young couple drunkenly walking down the sidewalk grasps my attention; actually, probably no younger than Mulder and I, but definitely care free. I gaze enviably, almost hungrily at the woman standing strong, wearing only shorts and t-shirt, wishing she was me, and I instantly feel guilty

"Is that your medical opinion?"

What? "What?" I ask again, having totally lost track of this conversation. I frown at his hand still hovering on the handle, why won't he open the damned door! I huff, can't he tell that I don't want to be talking about this, the case is over Mr Spuller is dead! Only to instantly chide myself over my insensitivity. But can't he tell I don't want to be talking about this...? For someone who is usually so on the ball when it comes to me and my emotions ...?

"Scully, are you OK?" he asks; his tone and voice softening, and his display of concern sends a fire through me.

"Yes Mulder", I say through gritted teeth, "I told you the doctor said that I was fi-great".

But he doesn't look convinced and I roll my eyes, before fixing them on a nearby post-box.

"I saw something Mulder", I state giving in.

"What?"

"The fourth victim. Yesterday, I saw her in the bathroom before you came to tell me"

He takes his grip off the door, his hand echoes loudly as it hits hi sthigh. I can feel his annoyance towards me, "why didn't you tell me?!" he snaps.

My mouth turns into a faint smile, you would think that after over three years working with me, he would know the answer to that question; because I don't want to believe. I don't believe what he believes. I'm reminded of my earlier conversation with Dr Kosseff and her saying that I didn't have to let Mulder's quest become mine. That there was nothing wrong with me, failing him, letting him down.

"Because I didn't want to believe it, I still don't".

"Is that why you came here?" he accuses, "to prove that it wasn't true".

I frown and peel my attention from the box to him. "No. I came here because you came to my house, in the middle of the night and asked me", I bite back.

"Why...why can't you just be honest with me".

My eyebrows raise, I could ask him the same question, and I think he realises it because his face softens. What a pair we make. "What do you want me to say?" I ask, fixing my gaze back on the post box. "That your right, that, that I believe it even if I don't. I mean… is that what you want?"

"Is that what you think I want to hear?" he asks, sounding hurt.

I turn to him, to and confirm my inclination. "No", I say softly.

"You can believe what you want to believe, Scully, but you can't hide the truth from me because if you do, then you're working ag…"

But he doesn't finish the sentence; there are alarm bells ringing off in my ears as I barge the doors open and rush out into the warm-chilling summers night. I can hear and feel him hot on my toes, what a hypocrite, how dare he say those words to me! How dare he!

"Scully", he rests a hand on my shoulder and I push it away, it splays instantly and he takes a step back.

"I just…" his voice is soft, "I know what you're afraid of. I'm afraid of the same thing…".

I turn away from his as water collects in my eyes, "I'm going home", I mumble, and stalk off before he can say anything more.

I reach the opposite side of the road, and I turn on him to find he is in the spot that I left him; looking lost, pathetic and hurt.  
"Could you please just stop!" I cry out.

He turns to face me fully, and despite the distance I can tell he is confused as to what I am talking about; but then, so am I. Both his hands splay out in his dumfoundment, not realising what wrong he could have possibly done to me from cross the street.

"Stop what?"

My hands shake furiously, like I am trying with all my effort to keep to strongly magnetised objects apart. Us, our closeness, his concern over me, him always being there, reminding me! I think back to the words I told my mother, it's almost drowning, and I'm afraid I may combust at any moment.

"I don't know what that means", he says desperately and I can see by the way he twitches on the spot that he is fighting with himself not to cross that invisible line on the road and cross to my side of the pavement.

"It means back off!" I eventually find my words, start to turn before I snap back, "and stop making my illness top news at work!"

"I haven't told anyone, Dana", his desperation climbing and I'm momentarily side tracked by his use of my first name.

"Then why was I called into a meeting with the FBI therapist?!" and then it all spills out, my hands enunciating the anger in my voice, "I follow you everywhere! Everywhere!-" my eyes blink at my lie, as I know that is not accurately true, sometimes I our rightly say, 'no', and as I time goes by I am getting stronger, better at doing that. "-No questions asked!" I continue, "and all I ask, is a couple of hours to compose myself, but no you have to go all high and mighty on me and not only have I been thrown off the case but an obligatory week off work!"

He's standing defeated, his hands are clenching and unclenching, his toes almost curling over the edge of the curb in his desperation to get closer to me. "I didn't say anything to anyone", he says softly and I frown in my confusion, "I swear", even more soothe.

I nod, not believing him. I spy a cab heading in my direction, his cab light isn't on and I stick my hand out to call it. "Well I'll see you next week, Mulder", I laugh/ cry out, but most of all defeated.

"Wait- Scully –", he rushes across the street, but I've shut the door and told the cab to drive on.

**PART V  
_Later that evening/ morning …_  
****Scully's apartment  
****03:20**

_…I lower myself on to the cushioned brilliant white wicker chair next him. He rests his hand on my bare thigh under the table, and rubs it soothingly, disarraying my light blonde hairs and the hem of my floral summer dress. He gives it a squeeze, his fingernails digging into my skin slightly, and the touch shoots enticingly up leg to my nipples and groin. I bite my lip, as an agonising but delicious pang starts to build in the depths of my stomach again._

_I shoot him annoyed look, to find his beautiful tanned face, glistening gold in the early evening sunshine smirking back at me; his leaf-green eyes glint mischievously at me. He's done it on purpose. I'm sure he would have the exact opposite thoughts going through his mind, if he sees me giving birth to his daughter in three months time. Not that I'm not glad he hasn't; ever since I reached my first trimester, I'm always ready for sex._

_'So how's work Fox?" one of his relatives – his Uncle Freddy I think, asks and he removes his hand and turn I my attention back to my plate of food. My stomach churns, and I frown, realising that he has piled it up with more food in my absence, my umpteenth toilet break of the day. I let out an annoyed sigh, pick up my fork to tackle the salad that I am hungry for but at the same time can't stomach. _

_'It's going good', I hear him reply, his hands skirting back up my thigh. My cutlery hangs suspended in the air as he rises it higher, cupping my inner thigh; it's tit-tantalising and I want nothing more than for him to continue, but highly inappropriate with his grandmother sitting opposite with another thirty or so of his relatives. I clench my thighs together and he removes his hands, a faint chuckle under his breath; he rubs my six month protruding stomach lovingly and it churns. But it's not my hormones, he's woken her up._

_I sit my cutlery back on the plate; there will be no eating now. "You've woken her up, Fox", I inform, and his eyes lighten as he sets his own cutlery down, to focus on his pride and joy. I turn my chair and self to give him better access, and he rests both his hands on our bump. I always act annoyed, but to be honest I love and take delight in his own. _

_"Oooo!" his grandmother explains and I turn me head towards her smiling. "How are you doing that?" she asks amazed and rises to walk over. It's their new party trick; Mulder will play his finger along my stomach and Matilda will follow it. Then he'll hover his hand above my stomach and she will grab out for his until she has found it. It is really quite amazing. Beautiful..., I frown ...beautiful, watching the two most important people in the world to me interact so... My mind becomes troubled by a question e asked me three months ago. _

_"Can I try?" his grandfather asks, "-that's if, Dana doesn't mind", he smiles politely at me. He's a sweet old man, who despite having lived in New Zealand for over ten years has not lost his New England twang; and has made me feel nothing but welcome since we arrived two days ago, so I nod, "of course!" Knowing she will only do it for her daddy. _

_"Sorry Pops", Mulder says to his disgruntled grandfather as we all resume back to our seats five minutes later. "If it makes you feel better, she won't even do it for Dana…", he beams, "I guess its something between father and daughter", he re-states my earlier words proudly; I go al warm and gooey inside and I am reminded of how worth it all of this is. _

_"So Fox, the FBI?" his uncle persists, I frown at him, not liking the smirk he already has fixed on his face. My eyes raise to Mulder when he doesn't respond instantly, and follow them to his father. Their exchange is serious and I hear his mother beside me clear her throat in the silence that has suddenly sprung on the table...Has he not told them...? "Still chasing little green men?" his uncle pushes and I am shocked when the whole table erupts in chuckles and laughter - except I, Mulder and Mulder senior; his mother chuckles nervously next to me._

_"What about Big Foot?" a cousin jovely inputs and my eyes narrow on him, "have you found him yet?" and the laughs get louder. I cringe, not in embarrassment though, in rage._

_"Hey, how about the Invisible Man, Foxwie", another cousin._

_Abruptly, I stand, my seat scraping loudly against the wooden patio planks and everyone goes silent. "They laughed when they claimed the world was round", my voice laced in accusation, "until someone proved you wouldn't fall off. Look at space travel; there are discoveries and breakthroughs in what we would have until categorised as the 'fantastic', everyday?! And whose to say that there isn't intelligent life other than our own...? Not me, and certainly not all of you. At least Fox is out there, looking for answers, making history, not sitting waiting to read it in a newspaper or magazine or watch it on the television! And that is a trait that I hope and pray will be passed on to our child". I finish my speech and exhale shakily, fixing my eyes on the ground. The tables even more silent, and I dare not look at anyone, especially Mulder._

_I feel my cheeks start to hear, my fist slowly start to unclench by my sides, until I hear his mother clear her throat._

_"Well dear", she laughs clearly embarrassed by my outburst, and I think my cheeks may combust, not because of her - Mulder... "it is just a long running joke"._

_"Well I don't think its funny", I bite out before I know it, and while I am on a roll I add, "I also don't think a twelve year old should be left home alone in charge of an eight year old. I exhale and turn on my heel quickly, I hear mutterings and the scrape of his mothers chair, but nothing else, not Mulder's expression, as storm as fast as a 5ft 2inch aix month pregnant woman can. _

_..._

_I walk hesitantly up the porch steps, unsure of how he took to my outburst, I hadn't meant the things I said and at the same time I had. He's sitting on the two person porch swing, he looks deep in thought; the dipping sun creates a halo around his figure. The top step creaks and he snaps out of his day dream..._

_He smiles at me, and I breath a sigh of relief._

_Nestled across his torso, my head rests on his heartbeat and I clutch tightly to him. He gives me a comforting squeeze and we sit like this for what seems forever - until I sit up suddenly with a start. The suddeness of my movement shocks him, and worried eyes shoot to my stomach. "Are you OK?" he panics._

_"Yeah... I'm fine", I say shyly, all of a sudden becoming very self conscious around him. _

_He looks at me confused...I'm confused...I can't make sense of these emotions, I don't know whether its my hormones...because I'm pregnant with his child... I can't think straight but my lips find his and I attack them hungrily._

_"Mmmmww, Scully", he pulls away after a few minutes and I pout. His lips are slightly swollen, and judging by the heat emulating from my lips, so are mine. I trace his lightly with my ring finger and chuckle quietly. He grabs hold of the wrist firmly, and places a firm kiss on my finger, before proceeding to kiss the others in that hand.  
"Come on lets go to bed", he says rising._

_My arm stretches from my seat, "can we just stay a bit longer?" I ask, still trying to organise my emotions. _

_"The sun has set", he counteracts, "besides the mozzies will be out and I don't want you getting bitten; you should also probably eat some mo-"_

_"Mulder", I scold, and then stop, easing my hand out of his grip to rest with the other one in my lap. I stare at the combines hands over the baby bump, the one that Mulder previously held, burning from his touch, the ring finger especially. "...Fox..." I start again, my voice barely a whisper, my eyes still concentrating on my lap, I can't look at him if I am about to have the courage to say what I want to say past my lips... "you, you can't be telling me what to do when we get married...". I leave the statement in the air, but then am afraid of his response, so hurriedly continue with my planned speech that has been churning fragmented in my head ever since, maybe ever since he asked me, "...or tell me that I can't go back to work, and no more babies, an-", I stop, suddenly getting stage fright. Is this a one man show? We haven't talked about this since he first suggested it on his couch. So much has changed since then, we've changed, even more so me... or maybe I'm just realising what was always there.  
"Fox, say something!" I demand, getting angry by his silence. I still refuse to make eye contact._

_"I, I, uh, thought you had forgotten I asked you that"._

_My eyes fill with tears; that wasn't the answer I wanted. Head down, I stand shakily and rush to make an exit but he catches my hand. _

_"Wait Scully", he says pulling me towards him, enclosing both my hands in his large one. He lifts my chin with one of his fingers, but I wont bring my gaze to his. He chuckles and kneels - on one knee! I make out peering slightly over our bump; we are now in each others view. "I was just shocked is all that you would agree...you believe in me, you stood up for me in front of my family, and thats...", he trails off momentarily and so does his gaze on me. When he refocusses , they are earnest and true and I smile slightly, honestly believing that no matter what, it will work, we will work._

_"I don't have the ring with me ... - but, Dana Katharine Scully, will you marry me?"_

_"...I-"_

I wake up suddenly with a start, flustered, and breathing heavy; groggily I look at the clock before falling back on my bed. I frown, and dab a finger on the lip of my nose, liquid, blood.

_…_

**PART VII**  
_**Later that morning**_  
**J Edgar Hoover Building**  
**FBI car park**  
**Day 3, 04:20**

"...I can confirm, she is remembering", Dr Kosseff says to the billow of smoke sitting next to her in the front passenger seat".

"Excellent", he exhales, "everything is going to plan".

_**omg sorry for the late update, especially as i said i would be popping them out over my easter break. But my laptop broke! And I write them up on word before I post them, and I couldn't bring myself to retype what I had already done. Anyway, here it is, hope you enjoyed, only two more chapters and then finally, they meet EMILY! Review, please :) Oh and there will be lots of mistakes as I have literally just now at 13:34 GMT just finished typing this word. I will try and edit later.**_


	42. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**A/N: A lot of chopping and changing in this chapter between scenes, characters and time. You have been warned.**

**CHAPTER 42: Like Mother, Like Daughter  
Spoilers: Deamons**

**_One week later…_**

**PART I  
May 1997**

My name is, William Fox Mulder, the fourth; although since the day I was born I have, against my will, been called, 'Fox'.

I have a sister, Samantha Ann Mulder; she is four years younger than I am. We used to spend our long summer days on our dirt bikes exploring whatever we felt needed to be explored on our little Massachusetts island of Martha's Vineyard. My twelve year old self would never dream of admitting it, but, she was my best friend.

On November 27th 1973, my parents were out at another one of my father's work dinners, leaving me in charge again. Little did they know, that evening they made the worst decision of their life, the worst decision of my life. Because that evening, my sister was taken from me, What's worse is that twenty years later, I am still none the wiser of how, when, by who, why, or even where. Over the years, I have been through many regression and hypnosis sessions, trying to help me find the answers to my questions. But they have always been cloudy, a level of uncertainty. But I have never felt such clarity over that evening, what happened, then now.

**PART II  
****_Same time…_****  
Sim Residence  
May 1997: Two years and seven months**

Through the interior and exterior of her house; Mrs Sim could hear the crisp crunch of his expensive alligator shoes as they scrunched their way up the neatly laid gravel path. She could hear his soft intrusive hum; smell his repugnant sweet smelling expensive cologne; his coy smile fowled her mouth. His presence brought an uncomfortably hot and heavy feel over her, like when confronted by an odious yellow and white snake in a reptile room, with beady red eyes.

"Bobby", she attempts to shout, but it comes out no more than a call. Luckily he is close by.

"What's the matter?" he asks, resting a silent struggling Emily on his hip. He touches his wife lightly on her bare shoulder.

Mrs Sim doesn't flinch; simply points to the figure walking up to their front door.

Following his wife's point, Mr Sim's face grimms, his eyebrows furrow and lips press into a thin line.

"Here", he passes Emily, "take her, keep her quiet", he orders. I'll deal with this".

Her body groans out over the sudden weight of her ever stockier two year old, who struggling to set free, is not making it any easier. Still she nods, and dutifully follows her husband's instructions, heading out towards their back garden.

**PART III  
****_Early the next day…_****  
Scully's apartment  
May 1997, 04:48**

"Hello?" she answers groggily, trying to remember which side of her bed is her alarm clock is. She went to bed a little after nine last night, so she knows it must be early.

"Mulder" she sighs annoyed at the caller's response. Although really, who else would it be?

"Mulder, what time is it?"

"It's almost 5:00am, Mulder. Is something wrong?" She hasn't heard from him for over a week now, not since their last case. She'd asked him to keep his distance, and quite surprisingly he had; although she wasn't sure whether she liked that or not.

Her voice hitches at his response, and she moves to sit up straight.

"Where are you?"

"Where?" the demand in her questions increasing.

"Well", she sighs exasperatedly. "What are you doing there?"

_Blood._

She's already scrambling out her bed.

"Are you hurt, Mulder?"

**PART IV  
****_Three days later …_****  
Basement Office  
May 1997, 09:48**

_'Although cleared of any wrongdoing in the deaths of Amy and David Cassandra, Agent Mulder still has no recollection of the events that led to their deaths. His seizures have subsided, with no evidence of permanent cerebral damage, but I'm concerned that this experience will have a lasting effect. Agent Mulder undertook this treatment hoping to lay claim to his past - that by retrieving memories lost to him, he might finally understand the path he's on. _

Scully re-reads the last paragraph of her report, before tracing her fingers over the keyboard to write the final sentences:

_'However, if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it's only by knowing where he's been that he can hope to understand where he's going. Then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course, and the truths he's seeking, from his childhood, will continue to evade him...driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit.'_

She scans the document again, before letting out a final sigh, and pressing, 'print'.

Standing alone in the basement office waiting for the printer, she gets lost staring out the rectangular window; mindlessly watching the black heels and loafers clip past the window, while devoured in her thoughts.

The shrill of her cell phone ringing, brings her back.

"Scully"

"Samy!" she gasps, bringing a hand to her forehead. "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cancel", she winces in anticipation of his reply.

"Something came up at work. I'm sorry; I completely forgot we made plans".

"I'm not, but as I said, something came up. I'm actually in the office now", she tucks a stray hair behind her ear, and scans her now printed document.

She stops, and frowns down the phone over her caller's persistence.

"Not that it's any of your business. Connecticut".

"Samy, please. Don't question me on this", she bites.

"Thanks"

…

Later, seated on the delayed A94 flight to JFK, still sat on the runway; she smiles at the shy face admiring at her.

"I'm sorry", he apologises, bashfully looking down into his palms, "you really didn't have to come with me. I know how much you hate flying".

"No", she smiles, and takes his hand in hers, squeezing it slightly. "I wanted to".

He smiles at their conjoined hands and lets out a steady sigh.

**PART V  
****_Three days earlier …_****  
Sim Residence  
May 1997: Two years and seven months**

From the back living room, Mrs Sim keeps one ear and eye on her daughter in the pool, and the other one closer by and more intune to the conversation her husband is having with Emily's doctor, Dr Calderon.

"… just haven't heard from you for a while Bob, that's all. You haven't been answering my calls", she hears the doctor's smarmy voice. "You missed our golf match on Sunday, thought I would come visit you in person".

"…we've, we've been away", she can hear her husband's nervousness through his lie, and it almost makes her want to burst into the room and hold his hand.

"Really", Dr Calderon asks unconvinced. "Where?"

He laughs at her husband's silence.

"You're not ignoring me now are you, Bob?"

"No, no", her husband stutters, "why would I be doing that".

Mrs Sim can hear the rustle of his shrug. "I don't know, maybe your wife's doubts have rubbed off on you", he lets out a sinister chuckle again in the silence.

"No", her husband lies again.

"Because", through the slither in the door, she sees Dr Calderon hoist up his trousers from his belt, "I don't need to remind you how important these tests are to Emily's welfare; not to mention we have a contract".

_A contract?_ Mrs Sim frowns.

Mr Sim clears his voice. "No, I haven't forgotten", he says in defeat.

"Is Emily here?" Dr Calderon asks, "I would really like to see her".

"Uhm, no, no, she and my wife are out".

"They are?" Dr Calderon questions, again unconvinced.

Mr Sim clears his voice again, his felt nervousness, almost suffocating his wife. "Uhm, that is that she's not in the house; their outside".

Mrs Sim steps back as she hears them heading towards the door she is listening from.

"Great, I have a present for Emily. I'll just bring it through".

When she hears Dr Calderon's retreating footsteps reach the front door, she bursts in from her hiding place.

Mr Sim jumps at her sudden presence, looking guiltily at his wife's stern scowl.

"What contract?" She demands.

Mr Sim is silent.

"What contract!?" she asks more fiercely, but it does the opposite desired effect and sends him into submission.

Mrs Sim lurches towards her husband, and shakes him. "Bobby!"

His sorrowful eyes make contact with hers. "I'm so sorry Gabbie".

"What?!" she shrieks, her eyes filling up with tears.

She refuses to let them fall though.

"What?!" she asks again, loosening her grip on him.

He moves away from her and rests his weight with his hands on the writing desk.

"I fucked up. I signed a contract, saying that they could do tests on Emily, in return for payment and her free medical care".

"What?" it's no more than a whisper.

"Her medical bills were sky rocket, it seemed, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. It was only a four year contract, and that way, I figured we could save money for her college, her future…", he trails off.

"You just signed our daughter's body away without consulting me, like she's some kind of lab rat".

"I didn't sign her body away", Mr Sim turns on her, angry at her presumption.

"Yes Bobby", she shouts over him, "that is exactly what you did-".

"I'm sorry", they turn and meet the coy smile of Dr Calderon. "Am I interrupting something…? Mrs Sim", he addresses, "beautiful as ever".

Mrs Sim swallows thickly to prevent the retort bubbling out of her mouth.

"I brought something for Emily", he smiles, holding up a large wire cage with two white mice in it.

**PART VI  
****_One day later…_****  
Mrs Mulder's residence  
Greenwich, CT  
May 1997, 23:11**

"Mulder, I don't think this is a good idea", she states, even though she know its wasted breath. She slams the driver door behind her, and watches her frazzled partner race towards his mother's front lawn.

"Why's that Scully?" he asks non-committedly.

"Because you're angry and delusional"

"Ooo angry and delusional, lucky me"

"I'm serious Mulder", she shouts sternly in his wake. "I still haven't been able to properly ascertain what tests where done on you, or the-"

"Angry, that I definitely am", they've reached the front door, and she winces as he pounds loudly against the oak; "but delusional, I've never had so much clarity in my fucking life Scully". He steals a glance at her scowl, "you can wait in the car if you want".

But she keeps her ground, and they stand in silence until the sound of locks turning breaks it.

"Fox?" the confused face of Mrs Mulder acknowledges her son.

"I need to speak to you", Mulder angrily barges his way through.

"You've kept secrets from me", he spits angrily once he is in the middle of the reception room.

Mrs Mulder frowns at her son, aghast. She regards Scully for the first time. "What's the matter with him?" she demands.

"Gha…", Scully starts not knowing how to start, as she doesn't actually know what is wrong with him. "He's undergone treatment", her body sighs and looks mournfully on at Mulder, "he believes it's helped him remember… things".

"Fox?" Mrs Mulder, warily steps closer to her pacing son.

"You told me", Mulder eventually manages through his building emotions, "that when they took Samantha, it was because you had to make a choice".

Scully's eyebrow raises, remembering a conversation with Mrs Mulder at the hospital, where she had told her she had to make a choice, 'for one to survive, the other must die', she recalls the older woman's words.

"-but", Mulder continues, stopping his pacing, and looking his mother squarely in the eye. "It wasn't your choice to make".

Realisation dawns on Mrs Mulder's face. "Whose?"

"You know who", Mulder shouts, flinging his arms around in his anger.

Scully moves to steady him, but he stops.

"The man who worked with my father, the man who came to you that night when I was 12, and forced you to choose Samantha".

"No-"

"Yes! You betrayed my father, your husband!"

Scully unconsciously shrinks away into the other room, feeling uncomfortable over her presence for this particular conversation. She closes the door behind her, although it doesn't quite omit their shouts.

"How far did it go back?!" Mulder demands.

"How dare you!" Mrs Mulder shrieks, "how dare you come here and accuse me?!" slapping him round his face, before instantly regretting, bringing the offending hand to cower against her trembling lips.

There is silence.

Mulder traces the slap mark with his fingers. "Who is my father?!" he asks softer, in defeat. "Just answer the question mom".

"I am your mother, and I will not tolerate any more of your questions".

But it's all the answer he needs. He nods, falling backwards towards the front door.

"Fox-", his mother calls after him.

Mulder finds Scully in the living room, gently grabs a hold of her and pries the rental keys out of her fingers before disappearing into the night.

**PART VII  
****_One day earlier …_****  
Sim Residence  
May 1997: Two years and seven months**

Mr and Mrs Sim, wearily follow behind Dr Calderon, out into the garden, where Emily is doing relentless laps of the pool. They watch him kneel by the pool's edge, placing the rat cage to the left of him, and flapping his hand in the water to call Emily over, almost like you would an animal in Sea World.

She comes instantly and frowns up at the smiling man hovering over her. She's seen his face before, but she can't quite remember where.

His mouth opens, but she can't really understand what he is saying.

He gestures to the cage next to him, and her eyes light up when she spies the two moving creatures.

She clambers out of the pool by herself like a gorilla, before feasting her greedy eyes on the two small animals.

He speaks again, opening the cage, and placing the mice in each hand.

They're relatively still in her hand, sniffing their new boundaries, but still she squeezes them in her fist, until they lie motionless.

She hears the woman's scream and the man's gawff as they run towards her.

She frowns at the man nearest her, wondering what it is she has done wrong this time. But from his smiling expression, nothing.

**PART VIII  
****_One day later…_****  
Mrs Mulder's residence  
Greenwich, CT  
May 1997, 23:21**

Scully stares a while at her opened palm, wondering why she let Mulder take the keys from her so easily.

Her questions are wasted though, he's gone now.

In Mrs Mulder's kitchen, she pours a cup of camomile tea for the older woman, and a coffee for herself.

"I feel like I should apologise for your son, Mrs Mulder", Scully sighs, taking a seat on the breakfast table opposite to the very docile figure. Studying the older woman's face, Scully almost laughs at the formality of the situation, considering they were once almost mother and daughter-in-law, grandmother to her child. "He is not himself", she urges, before taking a sip from her mug.

They sit in silence while Scully finishes her coffee, Mrs Mulder taking momentarily sips in her daze.

"Mrs Mulder", Scully addresses, standing up to wash her mug out in the sink. "I'm sorry but I have to find your son before he does something to hurt himself", she rests the item on the drain board, and her weight against counter.

She's tired.

Exhausted even.

Her body is screaming at her to lay down, to sleep, rest, recuperate.

But she will, must battle on.

"These tests", she sniffs, straightening, "I don't know-".

She is cut off by Mrs Mulder's snort, turns, and raises an eyebrow is surprise over the strange outburst.

"Fox has been tested on ever since he was child. Ever since his sister went missing", she laughs haughtily, and it chills Scully to the bone.

"Mrs Mulder", Scully tucks hair behind her ears. She would like her own clarity. "You told me once that you had to make a choice-"

"I didn't have a choice-", Mrs Mulder cuts off again in the same voice. "They made me believe I had a choice but I didn't".

"Whose they?" Scully asks, not even daring to move a muscle.

But Mrs Mulder is not listening. "When they first told me. I scooped my babies up in my arms one time and ran out the door".

You could hear a pin drop.

"I didn't run far enough", she stops and stares into her tea cup.

"Be careful Dana", she says after a few minutes silence, and Scully lifts her gaze from the floor and frowns at Mrs Mulder intent stare on her. "I thought I had, but he will stop at nothing to get back what he thinks is rightfully his", her worried eyes look over her kitchen, before resettling her gaze back on Scully.

"But maybe you can't", she whispers. "Maybe it is all part of the plan".

"Mrs Mulder?" Scully asks after a couple of minutes silence, when she is sure that the older woman has finished talking. She checks her wrist watch, it's probably already been twenty minutes since Mulder ran out. "Do you have a car I can borrow?"

**PART IX  
****_One day earlier …_****  
Sim Residence  
May 1997: Two years and seven months**

Mrs Sim listens from the stokes in the landing near the stairs.

She's listens to Dr Calderon preach to her husband that their daughter was a liability, a danger to herself and others around her; that she needs more help than him and his wife could provide. He's made Emily sound like a wild animal, one unless put in captivity would have to be put down.

She listens to her husband betray her and her daughter, and give in. He agrees to more tests.

But her daughter is not a lab rat, and she has listened to enough.

She's called the cab and it will arrive any minute.

She's knocked Emily out with a sleeping pill, stealthily crushed into her milk; the rest of the packet waits patiently to be used in the bag.

The bag that she has had packed for almost five months now, and waits patiently in her elderly neighbours garden hedge to be collected.

She scoops her baby up off her bed, ready to run.

Strapping Emily tightly to her back with her scarf, she climbs out the large bathroom bay window and shimmies down the drain pipe.

Once on the ground, she slips through the neighbours' hedges until she reaches the old lady's. Collects her waiting duffle bag, and steps into the waiting cab.

The taxi pulls away, and she unties Emily from her back, laying her as best as she can in her arms. She strokes back the stray blonde hairs from her peaceful round face, and places a kiss on her plump puckered pink lips, before kissing both eyes, her ruddy cheeks, and nose.

After all this time, she didn't think she could still do it with such ease.

**PART X  
****_Four days later…_****  
Mrs Mulder's residence  
Greenwich, CT  
May 1997, 19:21**

It's a warm night so they sit on the outdoor lounge sofa, on the back porch. Scully takes another sip of rose, and mulls the taste in her mouth.

Mulder clears his throat, and knocks back a swig of his beer. His tongue clicks at the sharp taste. "Listen Scully", he starts, peeling the label of the bottle, "I do really appreciate you coming here with me. I don't think I could have faced her without you".

She goes to shrug, but he stops her movements.

"Really", he says placing a hand on her shoulder; his warm brown eyes, melting into her icy blues.

"And for-"

"It's fine, Mulder", she smiles, placing her spare hand atop his own resting on her shoulder.

They stay like this for a few moments, before Mulder clears his throat, taking back his hand and another swig of his beer.

Scully averts her eyes to the ground, smiling, before she raises her glass to her lips again.

"Why?" she asks after minutes in silence.

Mulder brings his beer to his lips, then falters, stealing a glance at Scully's profile. "To find answers", he says simply.

"And did you find them?" she asks, taking his beer, and bringing it to her own lips. "And were the answers you wanted?" she hums against the bottle neck entrance.

"As long as it's the truth, it doesn't matter what the answer is".

Scully raises her eyebrow; she should have expected that question. She peels the rest of the label off, and hands it to him "care to share?"

He chuckles at her offering. "No, not yet".

"Mulder." Scully starts to bite out something she has wanted to say for a while now. "I can't indulge in your truth anymore. I can't", she stops, and purses her lips, "– lets just enjoy whatever time we have left".

"She's out there, Scully. I refuse to believe that she just died; that she was just taken away. I refuse to believe that this cancer will beat you. I refuse to believe that I will loose you".

"Then you refuse to believe the truth".

**_So…? Mrs Sim? Mrs Mulder? Scully and Mulder growing closer? Mulder's illness?_**

**_Note about the last chapter: I had a moment of whimsicalness before I posted it, and added Scully's flashbacks because I was tired of it being so melancholy. The problem is that it doesn't really fit with the story… so… now I'm going to have to work round them, but just in case you guys were thinking, what? When you read it. You thought correctedly._**

**_Je suis desole for any typos. _**


End file.
